Post: #1

Word,


So here's my deal, after years of bitching out on chasing women, hoping that they would come one to me, I'm finally trying to get my head out of my ass and take a more proactive approach to meeting women. I should also say that unfortunately I've got major issues with being shy and social anxiety, etc., it sucks, but I'm trying to overcome that shit. So here my main question, I know that I need to suck it up and start approaching women like crazy, but I live in a pretty small town (pop. 17,000) and everyone kind of knows everyone, so you're not as anonymous as you would be in a bigger town/city. I know I need to just say "fuck it", because that's the best attitude, but I just feel like if most of my approaches come off as awkward or unconfident in the beginning, I'm making a bad first impression on girls I'm bound to see again and again. Should I mostly approach less attractive girls that I'm not as into at first, kind of like for practice, so that when I get to ones I like I won't be quite as nervous? How about being more calculating and just going for ones that show me more interest (eye contact, body language, etc.) And if I do make some less than stellar first impressions should I keep trying to talk to the same girls when I see them at the same bars every weekend, or should I just kind of say fuck it if they blow me off?
Sorry for coming with such a weak newbie question, but I'm kind of working from the bottom right now, trying to dig myself out of the ditch that I've been in for a while now. Anyone else on here living in a small town that can relate or offer some advice? I know I;m probably tripping on this too much, but trying to get my head straight before I go at it full force...

Post: #2

Why don't you practice in the next town over?

Post: #3

You could try driving a few towns over. Some guys have given up months of "normal" life just to pursue this skill set ie the guys who have set up the various project-xcity, with project hollywood being the most famous. In RSD's Transformations product, Ozzy talks about living in a small town in Spain where he is from. He didn't care, he just kept approaching, and when everyone knew who he was, he just moved on to the bars and clubs in the town over.

You'll find that if you approach and bomb in a club or bar, girls won't even remember later you since they get hit on so much.

Post: #4

Yeah go somewhere else. Also try some antidepressants for the social anxiety. Preferably one that wont mess with your dick. Also try getting really drunk and taking home common street trash. Just hit on a bunch of slumpbusters, get fucked up, and generally have a good time. Karaoke bars are good for this. I know all about the small town bullshit, and its better to go cut your teeth somewhere else. Also as you sound like your self esteem is in the gutter, you don't need drama in your hometown to make it any worse.

But locally just run game but keep it more straightforward. Don't be a dick. Just get a watering hole and make it your spot and find some good people to go out with. You can grow it from there.

Living in a small town is about getting everyone on your side, so they got your back when drama happens. If you don't have a strong group/clique/whatever you will get played out quick.

Post: #5

Man, living in a small town blows for picking up women, bigtime. I just got done living in a town of 5,000 people with a guy to girl ratio of about 4 guys to 1 girl. It was horrible. I still swooped mad honeys but I feel like I could have doubled that amount in a bigger city.

Post: #6

"OGNORCAL707", I live about an hour south of you....near SFO airport.....I love women in your area......the "707" is a goldmine ...the girls are so freindly and "gameable".......it does have that small town feel, i know......if i were you i would be at every mall between Santa Rosa and the Golden Gate Bridge....or just come into the city and have limitless options.....you can always move around between Marin, Santa Rosa, Sonoma, and the City......Everything you need is right there for you....I think Norcal is one of the easiest places in America to get laid......you just gotta get out there!

Post: #7

Thanks for the feedback thus far, been working on approaches and getting out more... I;m up in Humboldt Co. in the emerald triangle if any of you playas know what that's all about. Unfortunately once you go past Santa Rosa the pussy supply dries up a bit (Ukiah is the biggest town in Mendo and only has 10,000 peeps), and Humboldt compared to the rest of Cali. is definitely slim pickings. Anyways, I'm not trying to make too many excuses here. Brandon E, I tip my hat off to you pimp, that's what's up, if you can pull mad honeys in a town like that, you should get crazy tang in a spot like Chicago, L.A., N.Y.
I never really thought too much about going to the next town over to holler at ladies, it's not a bad idea, though it's a place filled with trashy people/tweakers, it'd be worth checking out one of the better bars just for practicing game. Mullholland, not sure if you're being a tad sarcastic, but thanks for your 2 cent any way, I think I'll pass on the anti-depressants, and just try to not blaze so much chronic weed for right now.

PEACE

Post: #8

(12-21-2009 08:19 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  Thanks for the feedback thus far, been working on approaches and getting out more... I;m up in Humboldt Co. in the emerald triangle if any of you playas know what that's all about. Unfortunately once you go past Santa Rosa the pussy supply dries up a bit (Ukiah is the biggest town in Mendo and only has 10,000 peeps), and Humboldt compared to the rest of Cali. is definitely slim pickings. Anyways, I'm not trying to make too many excuses here. Brandon E, I tip my hat off to you pimp, that's what's up, if you can pull mad honeys in a town like that, you should get crazy tang in a spot like Chicago, L.A., N.Y.
I never really thought too much about going to the next town over to holler at ladies, it's not a bad idea, though it's a place filled with trashy people/tweakers, it'd be worth checking out one of the better bars just for practicing game. Mullholland, not sure if you're being a tad sarcastic, but thanks for your 2 cent any way, I think I'll pass on the anti-depressants, and just try to not blaze so much chronic weed for right now.

PEACE

Man, with that much weed around, I don't think I would be able to leave my couch to approach.

Post: #9

(12-21-2009 08:19 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  Thanks for the feedback thus far, been working on approaches and getting out more... I;m up in Humboldt Co. in the emerald triangle if any of you playas know what that's all about. Unfortunately once you go past Santa Rosa the pussy supply dries up a bit (Ukiah is the biggest town in Mendo and only has 10,000 peeps), and Humboldt compared to the rest of Cali. is definitely slim pickings. Anyways, I'm not trying to make too many excuses here. Brandon E, I tip my hat off to you pimp, that's what's up, if you can pull mad honeys in a town like that, you should get crazy tang in a spot like Chicago, L.A., N.Y.
I never really thought too much about going to the next town over to holler at ladies, it's not a bad idea, though it's a place filled with trashy people/tweakers, it'd be worth checking out one of the better bars just for practicing game. Mullholland, not sure if you're being a tad sarcastic, but thanks for your 2 cent any way, I think I'll pass on the anti-depressants, and just try to not blaze so much chronic weed for right now.

PEACE

Marijuana is a depressant. I smoked all day every day for years, and believe me...it will sap your motivation. On the other hand it does improve your motivation IF you dont smoke it all the time.

As far as banging skanks and antidepressants, yeah I was kididng. But I do think you should get some wins under your belt and maybe start working out and lay off the weed for awhile. It would probably be good for ya!

Post: #10

2 more thoughts for "OGNORCAL707"............1. the weed is probably effecting your confidence, drinking 1,000,000% BETTER for socializing with girls....save the weed for when you get her back to your place. 2. I think you told Roosh that you are "Persian"....You gotta use your "brown skin" to your advantage....most Norcal girls love experimenting with different races of men....Look for girls with Bob Marley posters, Native American art, Yoga books, pics of their vacation to "Machu Picchu" or "India"...and shit like that.....those girls want to get "in touch" with their "brown" side.....you gotta be a little different from all the white guys....Otherwise you just look like a "poser wanna be white guy"...I know Humboldt is 99% white....give those girls what they want....a little different flavor.

Post: #11

I know two girls that live by me in Waialua on Oahu.

They are from somewhere called Grass Valley.

When I first met them I assumed they were the only 2 swoopable girls from that town.

Every time they have friends visit its a top notch hot chick. Whenever they see someone they know from back home its also an outrageously gorgeous girl.

My advice is to stick with the weed game because they all love it and head to Grass Valley.

Every girl tries to challenge me with a little smuggled Humbolt County shit, but come on.

Aloha!

Post: #12

Word Up.



Not trying to drag this post out much more, but thanks again for all the feedback playas. I'm definitely trying to cut back on blazing and starting to experiment with quiting outright to see how it effects me as far as being more confident, witty, and outgoing. I've been puffing tuff for about a decade now, since my days hustling as a youth coming up in D.C., back when we used to slang dub sacks, skip class, and hot box blunts rolling around in the ghetto rides. Then graduated up to Humboldt and I shouldn't need to explain that, an eighth a day of shit that make Amsterdam look weak (trust me, been there, done that). Since I'm an introverted person by nature, the kind of guy that has a few close homies and associates, but mostly lays low and don't go out of my way to be social, I can see how blazing exacerbates this problem and kind of keeps me even more in my own head. And yes it for sure can kill your motivation levels, even your motivation to get laid.

It's just one of those things though, when you got that shit around you 24/7 you genuinely love doing it, and you got a fat supply of that best shit in the whole world it can be hard to turn down. Just imagine if you lived in NYC and could go to the best restaurants for free any time you want and eat as much as you want, it would be hard to not want to do that right? Well I guess I'm at the point now where the love and need for pussy is finally pushing me to want and try and stop smoking as much, as it definitely zaps my motivation and my ability to be witty and keep the convo flowing when I am talking to a cute chick. I was thinking of starting a thread about weed's effect on game, but I think this mostly depends on the person, their personality type, psychology, etc.

Eventually I'm hoping to meet a cute chick or maybe two that I can chill with and have as a regular thing that like to smoke weed, so it's something we can do together.

Post: #13

(12-22-2009 08:36 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  Word Up.



Not trying to drag this post out much more, but thanks again for all the feedback playas. I'm definitely trying to cut back on blazing and starting to experiment with quiting outright to see how it effects me as far as being more confident, witty, and outgoing. I've been puffing tuff for about a decade now, since my days hustling as a youth coming up in D.C., back when we used to slang dub sacks, skip class, and hot box blunts rolling around in the ghetto rides. Then graduated up to Humboldt and I shouldn't need to explain that, an eighth a day of shit that make Amsterdam look weak (trust me, been there, done that). Since I'm an introverted person by nature, the kind of guy that has a few close homies and associates, but mostly lays low and don't go out of my way to be social, I can see how blazing exacerbates this problem and kind of keeps me even more in my own head. And yes it for sure can kill your motivation levels, even your motivation to get laid.

It's just one of those things though, when you got that shit around you 24/7 you genuinely love doing it, and you got a fat supply of that best shit in the whole world it can be hard to turn down. Just imagine if you lived in NYC and could go to the best restaurants for free any time you want and eat as much as you want, it would be hard to not want to do that right? Well I guess I'm at the point now where the love and need for pussy is finally pushing me to want and try and stop smoking as much, as it definitely zaps my motivation and my ability to be witty and keep the convo flowing when I am talking to a cute chick. I was thinking of starting a thread about weed's effect on game, but I think this mostly depends on the person, their personality type, psychology, etc.

Eventually I'm hoping to meet a cute chick or maybe two that I can chill with and have as a regular thing that like to smoke weed, so it's something we can do together.

I find that blazing up sativas make me want to go out and do stuff. If you absolutely do not want to stop blazing a couple blunts a day, start growing up some Jack Herer, Haze, or some Thai or Colombian landrace strains. For me, the burnout and couchlock is much less than with heavy indicas. I haven't smoked in a while, and my experience with sativas is limited, but when I've smoked super silver haze, there was almost no couchlock.

Post: #14

"I find that blazing up sativas make me want to go out and do stuff. If you absolutely do not want to stop blazing a couple blunts a day, start growing up some Jack Herer, Haze, or some Thai or Colombian landrace strains. For me, the burnout and couchlock is much less than with heavy indicas. I haven't smoked in a while, and my experience with sativas is limited, but when I've smoked super silver haze, there was almost no couchlock."

Ha. Great comment.

Post: #15

Here's what I did. I, too, live in a small town - a Chicagoland suburb of roughly 13,000 people, and the pool of single females include fugly ghetto black girls, trailer park trash, and Americanized immigrants-turned-racists. Getting pussy is not a probability in my city. So last night I drove a few towns over to a hotel bar, hoping to land a cougar in her late 20s. Long story short, I met this chick from the "605" California (of all places) area, and she treated me better than any Chicago or midwest trash has ever treated me in my life (which isn't saying much because midwest females are misandric beasts). She was hammered with a few drinks, so I chatted her up, helped her resize some JPEG images on her laptop, and before I knew it, we were in the parking lot, fucking in my car! If you know me, getting laid doesn't happen that much. As a matter of fact, this morning while fucking this sexy California babe, I actually broke a 4-year sexual dry spell! Oh and the last time I got lucky, I was out west in Arizona.

I used to obsess over leaving the country to find women. But I discovered that my lack of pussy is from living in Chicago (a city so shitty that it makes DC look like a sex haven for single men)! There are still women in America who actually still like men and sex, and me getting laid for free was the proof of this! If you are a single man, get the fuck out of the midwest states, and visit places like Arizona, Texas, and California and you'll find women who are down to fuck without jumping to another continent just yet; even better if they are at a hotel in your town visiting from one of these said states. It worked for me - a guy in his 20s who just survived 4 years with no pussy!

Post: #16

(12-20-2009 08:12 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  Word,
So here's my deal, after years of bitching out on chasing women, hoping that they would come one to me, I'm finally trying to get my head out of my ass and take a more proactive approach to meeting women. I should also say that unfortunately I've got major issues with being shy and social anxiety, etc., it sucks, but I'm trying to overcome that shit. So here my main question, I know that I need to suck it up and start approaching women like crazy, but I live in a pretty small town (pop. 17,000) and everyone kind of knows everyone, so you're not as anonymous as you would be in a bigger town/city. I know I need to just say "fuck it", because that's the best attitude, but I just feel like if most of my approaches come off as awkward or unconfident in the beginning, I'm making a bad first impression on girls I'm bound to see again and again. Should I mostly approach less attractive girls that I'm not as into at first, kind of like for practice, so that when I get to ones I like I won't be quite as nervous? How about being more calculating and just going for ones that show me more interest (eye contact, body language, etc.) And if I do make some less than stellar first impressions should I keep trying to talk to the same girls when I see them at the same bars every weekend, or should I just kind of say fuck it if they blow me off?
Sorry for coming with such a weak newbie question, but I'm kind of working from the bottom right now, trying to dig myself out of the ditch that I've been in for a while now. Anyone else on here living in a small town that can relate or offer some advice? I know I;m probably tripping on this too much, but trying to get my head straight before I go at it full force...

Feeling your pain, Man. Humboldt is rough. Try hanging out in the southern section for long periods of time - it makes Arcata seem like heaven. lol

A few ideas for you.

Redding is not that bad at all. I always thought of it as a major tweaker town and avoided ever going there to party, but last summer I jetted out for a few trips and was pretty impressed. the town has really grown and there are not only some decent nightclubs but some pretty impressive talent as well. A lot of the guys look kind of meatheadish, but I never saw a fight any of the times I went out there.

If I was forced to live here year-round and wasn't tied to being in Humboldt 24/7, I would seriously consider a place in Redding. They've even got the lakes out there, which is a major plus, and it's not a far drive to Chico.

At the very least, start taking a couple weekend trips there to hit the clubs and change the scenery. Are they still running the plane over there? My buddy dates a girl who goes to school there and used to fly out every weekend. Then again, if you're going to hop on a plane for a trip out of town you might as well do Frisco or Portland.

Hell,if you've got the bread, you should really consider becoming a seasonal Humboldt citizen or renting a cheap room somewhere worth spending a lot of your time.

Meanwhile, don't worry too much about the player reputation. Some of the biggest players I knew lived in Arcata for a long time and pulled so many women it was sickening. Some of them even ended up working the school system around here - what's up with the teacher guys always having mad game?

Also, even though the ratios and the single scene sucks in Humboldt, at least in Arcata you've got the yearly turnover what with the university there and all. That school really is your ticket to long-lasting fun with young girls right there. Embrace that. If I were you, I'd be dabbling in art and music classes to socialize.

As time goes by, the scene seems to change a lot. I grew up in this county and didn't move abroad until I was in my late 20s, but I never ran out of fresh faces and fresh girls. Sure, I see a lot of the same ones when I go out, and I'm always running into people I know, but even past 30 there's still a new round of faces every time I go out. Even with such a low population, you throw all these small towns around here together and there's a lot of prospects out there. Not to mention that if you're like me and plan to keep dating women in the 20 - 30 range for the majority of your adult life, there's always a new crop coming up.

Main problem for me in Humboldt is you walk into the bar and it's 80% guys (98% down in southern humboldt) and all the chicks are wearing sweaters and jeans. You get good nights but it's all around pretty bad. Sometimes you'll sit in there all night and never see anything worth hitting on.

Keep the shame out of your game and have fun with it - that's one of the main things about gaming in a small-town is just focusing on the fun of going out since prospects are slim. I'll try to hit you up tomorrow night if I don't end up rolling down south. After sitting on my fat, hungover ass all friday night doing nothing but Rooshing, I'll probably be itching to get out somewhere.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling