Post: #1

Making Guy Friends

This has something that has always been hard for me post-college, and I wanted to know others thoughts on it. There are the inevitable connections through your workplace, but I always find myself WANTING to get away from them after spending so much time in the office. Furthermore, it's rare that I've worked with a true natural who I felt I could learn from rather than the other way around.

I've been reading Roosh's Bang Poland, and while it's great on some game techniques, one of the lines that stuck out with me was that when Polish girls asked him who he was at the club with, he answered, "I'm here alone, I don't have friends here." In Poland, this worked for him b/c they interpreted it as self-confident, but in the US the lone-wolf thing isn't really considered cool.

What about you all? Do you have close guy friends? Or do you have just guy acquiantences who you may see time and time again at the same bars/clubs?

Do you join a sports team league? Do you bond over sports at a sports bar with some regulars?

There are times when I feel like doing a "guys night out" as I remember from college, just bullshitting, rather than seek pussy whenever I'm out. But when I move to a new place, this doesn't really happen.

Post: #2

It is straight up impossible to make new guy friends.

Especially with this younger generation coming up.

The only way it is possible is thru something like surfing or Boxing.

Post: #3

I'd just frequent the same bar. You'll meet people there, especially on workdays. Or join a club, thegmanifesto's suggestions are good. And there's always meetup.com and similar things.

Also you meet people through people, this includes co-workers.

Personally, my closest friends are from school or university times. They really are like brothers to me.

Post: #4

I meet dudes at sports bars or a place that has a pool table.

There's guys at the gym and on the basketball court.

If you join a softball league or basketball league. Even volleyball I think is fun.

Maybe if you try volunteering you can meet some people. They don't have to become your best friends but hey. At least when you go to your spots you know people there. And from there you can segue into other things.

If you like cars you can get on forums and find guys with similar interests and get together to do car shit. Like on this forum guys get together and do the pickup thing.

I met a guy out of no where because I was on a motorcycle and he was getting one soon so when he got one we became riding buddies and then met a bunch of other guys through riding around.

These guys were not my best friends but everybody had their place you know?

Post: #5

Through http://www.rooshvforum.com.

Post: #6

Was that parenthetical "platonic" in the subject line really necessary?

Post: #7

When I look back at the guy friends I've made post college, all of them where either through work or through shared athletic activities.

For me having the player mentality makes it somewhat difficult to make friends who are not into the player lifestyle themselves. This lifestyle is hard for most guys to swallow.

What tends to happen is I'll have a good friend and everything will be fine. He'll then get a girlfriend who eventually begins to see me as a threat, brainwashes his dumb ass, and then he stops hanging out with me all together. It's happened to me a couple of times.

What compounds the issue is that with certain guys I meet we share no interests. They are into video games for hours a day, comic books, and other stuff I don't care about all.

Post: #8

(07-04-2012 06:46 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  Was that parenthetical "platonic" in the subject line really necessary?

mods plz change it to 'no homo'

lol

Post: #9

This has been a big issue with me too.

The best place to make fairly alpha dude friends is by joining a combat sport. I'm talking MMA, boxing, rugby, that kind of shit. Many guys, especially rugby players, love to go out, drink, and get laid. You just have to be respectful, not creepy, and talk about interests, then suggest a bro-down later. I find it a chore to keep communicating but you might actually get interested in what they're talking about. You really have to try and make a connection. It's not much different than with women.

I try to make one to three random dude friends wherever I go, as I'm a pretty strong introvert. Generally speaking, the uglier the dude the better friends you'll make.

The absolute best way, bar none, to make friends with men is to buy three to four cases of beer (hey guys, look what I stole from the Alpha-Bravo-Charlie fraternity!) and two packs of smokes and get absolutely shitfaced. Getting drunk together is a team building exercise.

One thing you serious alphas out there must understand is that while betas admire and compliment the alpha male, they also resent him for his sheer balls and success in life and women.
If you are going to make friends of beta males, you must tool yourself to them so they feel no envy. Freely admit character faults and be a dipshit. Take calculated Jackass-style risks and they won't hate you. Run bad game to girls in front of them. Then when you get laid on your A-game, say you got lucky, say they liked your shirt, always make excuses. I think this very advice is in Greene's "48 Laws of Power".

Post: #10

(07-04-2012 06:54 PM)Neo Wrote:  For me having the player mentality makes it somewhat difficult to make friends who are not into the player lifestyle themselves. This lifestyle is hard for most guys to swallow.

And it's a Catch-22.

The best Playboys hunt alone.

Like the mighty Leopard:

Post: #11

The lions made the kill as well though. Although there are more ways to skin the proverbial cat, that's not the point I'm tryin to make.

After a particular (s)lay sometimes there are days where I don't even want to look at a female because I've been well-fed. I don't want to hit on a new girl, but I think to myself, "man, it'd be nice to hang with some friends and just fucking bullshit over a couple beers."

Alternatively, if I'm in a relationship-type-thing where I'm comfortable, there are days where I say to myself, "damn, i want to get away from her and from myself for a little bit and just hang with some buds."

The problem is, where are my buds? My college buds are 1000s of miles away and fuck that. I want to grab a beer with some dudes and make fun of girls and their stupid habits. I want to talk about the NFL bounty scandal. And I don't necessarily want to call up my dealer at this point to hang either.

Post: #12

(07-04-2012 06:13 PM)HiFlo Wrote:  I've been reading Roosh's Bang Poland, and while it's great on some game techniques, one of the lines that stuck out with me was that when Polish girls asked him who he was at the club with, he answered, "I'm here alone, I don't have friends here." In Poland, this worked for him b/c they interpreted it as self-confident, but in the US the lone-wolf thing isn't really considered cool.

By who? You? Society? I've always been a loner and could care less if someone doesn't think I'm cool because I don't have 100 "friends" who wouldn't even attempt to bail me out of jail if something happened.

Post: #13

I would try to hang with other players.

Post: #14

To the OP, how old are you? As you inch toward your 30s, it becomes very difficult to make lasting friendships. All my close friends without exception are people I've known since my teens. I'm open to meeting good new friends but it doesn't really happen. When you meet up with new people based around an activity such as martial arts or even game, your friendship often becomes defined by that. For example when I was taking Krav Maga, I'd get invited to backyard bbqs and such, but everyone would be talking about martial arts and ufc for hours on end. I felt like it was hard to get to know them outside of whatever activity brought you together. So they are more like activity partners than actual friends. Same with meeting wingmen through game forums, you'll probably spend most your time talking about game related shit but not know much about the dude outside of that. And that's cool if that's all you need, but that's a far cry from actual friendship. Because if one of you drops out of that activity, your "friendship" is unlikely to continue on. Since I stopped taking Krav, I really don't hear from any of those dudes anymore.

This is a major factor I'd take into consideration if I ever decided to move to another city. I'll never be able to replace the lifetime friendships I have here. I'm 36, most guys my age are now married with kids. They have other priorities than making new friends.

Post: #15

(07-04-2012 08:53 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  To the OP, how old are you? As you inch toward your 30s, it becomes very difficult to make lasting friendships. All my close friends without exception are people I've known since my teens. I'm open to meeting good new friends but it doesn't really happen. When you meet up with new people based around an activity such as martial arts or even game, your friendship often becomes defined by that. For example when I was taking Krav Maga, I'd get invited to backyard bbqs and such, but everyone would be talking about martial arts and ufc for hours on end. I felt like it was hard to get to know them outside of whatever activity brought you together. So they are more like activity partners than actual friends. Same with meeting wingmen through game forums, you'll probably spend most your time talking about game related shit but not know much about the dude outside of that. And that's cool if that's all you need, but that's a far cry from actual friendship. Because if one of you drops out of that activity, your "friendship" is unlikely to continue on. Since I stopped taking Krav, I really don't hear from any of those dudes anymore.

This is a major factor I'd take into consideration if I ever decided to move to another city. I'll never be able to replace the lifetime friendships I have here. I'm 36, most guys my age are now married with kids. They have other priorities than making new friends.

So true...even Roosh had mentioned once that it's more difficult to find friends after a certain age than to get laid,i'm pretty much in the same situation,late 20's have people from work to hang out with but that gets too much all the time,have tried meetups quite a bit and made some nice friends but as people enter into relationships they stop hanging out with other guy friends.

Post: #16

Definitely through some sort of athletics, be it boxing like G Manifesto said, or at the gym or on a softball team or whatever. Definitely the easiest way.

Post: #17

deleted, duplicate

Post: #18

(07-04-2012 08:53 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  This is a major factor I'd take into consideration if I ever decided to move to another city. I'll never be able to replace the lifetime friendships I have here. I'm 36, most guys my age are now married with kids. They have other priorities than making new friends.

But what do you do about that? All your friends in LTRs? They don't invite you to dinner with the couples probably, right? Who do you hang with? How do u have a 'guys night out'? How do u relate to them when they talk about their kids? When you're with your married friends on a 'guys night out' what the hell do you talk about if you can't complain & boast about flings, ONS's, and stupid chicks?

BTW, nearing 30.

Post: #19

Best thing i can say it to get into a sport..or activity.

Every friend I have that I met our of school was through a sport.
I walked onto the Hamburg rugby team..Instantly made some great friends.

You cant game guys at a club and get their number to hang out later -_-
Join a sports team..some sort of activity.
Something that at the end of the day..yall can say..lets go grab a beer when we're done

Even though I have friends..I still prefer to be a loner.
It doesnt bother me to be by myself for a week straight.
Theres nothing wrong with it.
My dad is the same way...For a while I felt bad because i realized he didnt have many friends
But he prefers it that way and so do I

But let either of us walk into a crowded room and I bet we're the life of the party

Post: #20

(07-04-2012 11:06 PM)Sourcecode Wrote:  Even though I have friends..I still prefer to be a loner.
It doesnt bother me to be by myself for a week straight.
Theres nothing wrong with it.
My dad is the same way...For a while I felt bad because i realized he didnt have many friends
But he prefers it that way and so do I

I too can go long periods of time without much contact with others and not even be all that bothered by it. I think you have to learn to become comfortable being a lone wolf. Or at least not let it get to you. Luckily modern technology makes it easier to connect with the real people you're close to over long distances. It's not a replacement for real interaction with your friends and family but it helps.

It takes a long time to make a true friend and I think you have to have a lot of shared values, trust and bonding experiences to make it stand the test of time and distance. Having a sense of mission too, like "we're in this together." That's why you'll see no closer lifelong friendships than vets who fought shoulder to shoulder. Once you leave your schooling years, there are few things left other than going to war that will bond men on that level.

Post: #21

I wouldnt be so desperate to make new male friends.

I have dumped most of my male friends almost two years ago and i have told myself not too long ago that i dont want to have new male friends and im good with the ones i have now. However, due to my super social nature, i cant help but get to know new people, i usually avoid it to go anywhere but when the new cat is interesting, i cant help but connect with him.

However when you are an adult, you are not just interested in connecting with someone who makes you laugh, you are more interested in connecting with someone who helps you grow. The truth is that the majority of males are uninteresting people, its hard for you to find other cats who are into self development. I am more interested in giving and receiving value. For example, me and one of my best mates were rolling the other day, then he told me to go see his cousin, we went to his cousin house, next minute we started talking about sports and then the conversation is getting more and more interested and i found out that he is got a post graduation degree in sports and health (some shit like that) and that he works as a personal trainer. Latter on we arranged a deal where i would pay his gym membership and he would give me personal training in the gym with non additional value (what a deal, a gym membership is 50 dollars per month and personal trainers charge that money per hour). So this cat became part of my circle by being my personal trainer. Talking about this, i have also met another cat two weeks ago who is giving me programming lessons for almost nothing.

Resuming, im more interested in getting to know people that bring value to my life then guys who are bringing fun.

Plus i am an international playboy, i dont stay around a lot, most of these cats dont even have money to go to a local nightclub, i cant see them keeping up with being my friends, they can't afford my lifestyle (i am talking mainly travelling here).

Post: #22

Friendships are based on shared interests.

A lot of guys aren't interested in anything but playing video games/watching TV. So maybe 80% of guys are not even candidates for being a friend.

a guy who can't even get off the fucking couch isn't going to have your back when you need him to.

The first question is, What are you interested in?

If you have interests, you're going to meet guy friends doing shit you like to do.

Post: #23

(07-05-2012 12:31 AM)MikeCF Wrote:  Friendships are based on shared interests.

A lot of guys aren't interested in anything but playing video games/watching TV. So maybe 80% of guys are not even candidates for being a friend.

a guy who can't even get off the fucking couch isn't going to have your back when you need him to.

The first question is, What are you interested in?

If you have interests, you're going to meet guy friends doing shit you like to do.

I've tried this route, but it doesn't guarantee better game. I really think it's important to only hang with players (if you are trying to get some game via osmosis).

Every other guy is a potential cockblocker. Game recognizes game. The civilians' behavior is too random or beta.

Post: #24

I've also had sometimes the same problem, finding new guy friends.
Sometimes it's kinda hard, especially if you are not really interested in popular guys hobbies like football, cars or hitting pubs.

What do you think about meeting guys through online forums? is anyone experienced with that and doing it regularly?

Post: #25

There's two methods to making friends: Social circle, and opening.

Social Circle is establishing commonalities through activity: Social Clubs, Church, Volunteerism, Sports, Hobby, and Profession. By doing something in common you make connections and build friendships. It takes a lot of time and energy investment. You're limited to people who like that activity. And the quality is completely random, but generally on the lower end.

Opening people takes less effort, is faster, and has the advantage that you're actively selecting who you'd like to be your next friends and who you'd like to surround yourself with. It also passes the time when I'm bored.

The main ebook on this is The Popular Club. I've recommended it here before, despite hating the subscription model he uses to sell it. I can verify he does promptly turn off the subscription once emailed and I didn't receive any further charges. He has decent scripts, for both men and women, and in the mp3s that come with the book includes scripts to avoid coming off as gay when opening your own sex.

There's secondary books like How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds but they're more sales call and job interview orientated.

And of course Day Bang. Roosh first learned the Elderly Opening from an elderly man opening him in a coffee shop to make friends.

The only problem with the Elderly Opening is after a while I feel like Pycelle pretending to be old every day.