starmaze
Recovering Beta

Posts: 158
Joined: Sep 2012
Reputation: 4
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RE: The Approach Thread
(09-05-2012 03:09 PM)Giovonny Wrote: (09-05-2012 12:11 PM)starmaze Wrote: 2 approches today.
1. Girl In black suit. I opened her from the back and asked for direction.
Me: where is x street?
Her: well, I think you must go this way
Me: you don’t sound too sure
Her:oh, well, this is somehere over there
Me: ok but if I get lost it will be your fault
Her: hehe no, you should be fine
Me: I can tell by the way you are dressed you work in office
Her: actually I am just going back from job interview
Me: oh, I see, I should wish you good luck then
Her; thank you
Her: so now you should turn right
At this point she was going to go way her way so I decided to go direct
Me: you know what, I cannot lie, I just approached you because you have interesting style
Her: uhh ? sorry?
Me: you have nice style and I just wanted to talk to you
At this point she seems to be pissed off
Her: oh no..
Me: what is your name?
Her: I have bf
Walks away.
I think I talked too fast due to nervousness becasue she asked what I said twice. I need to remember to slow fucking down.
2. I passed this girl with flower in her hair, then turned back to approach her.
Me: hey, where is mcdonalds here?
Her: I don’t think so there is any around. There is kfc over there
Me: you have some flower hippie style, I like it
Her: oh really?
Me: you look sort of an artistic nature, what do you do? Do you paint?
Her: haha, no, none of that things
Me: where are you heading to?
Her: I in rush
Me: me too, whats your name?
Exchanged names.
Some street salesmen tried to stopped us.
Me: this always happens here, you cannot pass this street without being approach by them
Her: yeah
I tried to engaged her in conversation asking what does she do for fun. Anyway she keeps waking. I stood still.
Me; you know what, as you are in rush and I don’t have much time either . How about exchanging number and get together sometimes?
Her; I have a husband
Me: I don’t believe
Her: I am actually married for 9 years
Me: o god, how old are you? You look like 19
Her: I am 29
Me: oh, I would never tell
Her: how are you?
Me: 34
Her: you don’t look like either. I need to go now, sorry
Me: ok have a nice life
Her: you too
Even if I haven’t got any digits I am happy I made two approaches today. Got out of my comfort zone finally. Its good to feel alive again.
First of all, good courage, heart, and balls to do this. I know it is not easy. Your confidence is growing young jedi!
Now, lets look at these approaches. You are opening indirectly, asking for directions, thats fine. Then you switch to direct and it seems like they get annoyed.
I think they are getting annoyed because they feel tricked. They know that you never cared about directions, it was all an act in order to talk to them. They feel lied to. You were hiding your true intentions.
Here is what I suggest:
1) Don't reveal your lie. Don't say - "I actually just approached you because I wanted to say hello" . If you lie, just go along with the lie. Get the directions and then try to transition into more personal conversations. Don't admit that you were lying. It can make them feel weird.
Yes, I do it sometimes but I am more advanced and I can do it without them feeling strange about it. I do it with a very joking and flirty tone. I make them feel like I had to lie in order to create this serendipitous moment for both us us. My lie seems flirtacious, your lie seems like trickery. If that makes sense.
Get your directions and then try to transition into more personal stuff. It would help to dropped some bait as you are discussing directions.
Say things like - "Your purse reminds me of the girls in new york city" or "are you spanish, you look like a barcelona girl" or "this part of town reminds me of sao paulo" or "is your dress from bali?".
Dropping bait like this could advance the conversation to a more personal and comfortable level.
As soon as she gives you directions say - "thanks, are you from around here?"
or, - "thanks, are you in this neighborhood for work or play?"
or, - "thanks, you look like a banker/teacher/saleswoman" (just guess based on her outfit)
Something like that. Something that will let you transition into general conversation.
2) Go direct. Reveal your intentions from the beginning.
Just say - "Excuse me, can I tell you something? Your have such a different look, where are you from?"
Or use the line Alphamind shared with us yesterday..
(09-02-2012 09:26 PM)Alpha Mind Wrote: "Excuse me...what's your name? (gives you name). Listen, (name), I'm not usually this forward, but you are absolutely lovely and I'd love to get to know you better over (coffee/tea/a drink) sometime."
Or, use a line like the ones Krauser recommends..
"Hi. I want to tell you something. I was just over there and I literally just saw you and wanted to say you look quite nice. Very Spanish. It’s you big black hair, dark eyes, and weird fashion".
Hi. How good is your English? I’m here on holiday and I’ve been noticing something about the women here. You are a real woman. You exactly fit my image of a Croatian girl. It’s your long straight hair, elegant fashion, and funny serious look on your face".
"Hi. Can I just say something real quick? I was just sitting over there when you walked past and totally turned my head. You have a great feminine walk. I’d guess you are a proper woman. You’ve got that soft walk, your hips swaying from side to side, a bit of a too-cool-for-school pout on your face".
Experiment with these and develop some openers that you are comfortable with. Keep it up. Approach everyday!
I am still working on smooth and comfortable transition from asking directions to personal conversation and stating my interest. Again thanks for great feedback.
I know what you mean by saying they feel tricked. The more she invests in giving me directions the more she is annoyed when I say what I was really about. Sometimes I make it obvious that I am not serious when for example I asked where is main entrance when staying in front of it. If I am playful enough with my expression she already knows that I am hitting on her. Now, if she already knows what I am really about she has 2 options: walk away immediately or stay and talk to me.
As I said, ideally I would go full direct in most situations. I think direct when its backed up with true confidence reflected in your body language, face expression , voice tonality and so on can make strong impression on a girl. Anyway I am not there yet.
I like alphamind line: "Excuse me...what's your name? (gives you name). Listen, (name), I'm not usually this forward, but you are absolutely lovely and I'd love to get to know you better over (coffee/tea/a drink) sometime."
Anyway I would skip the part in the opening line: I'd love to get to know you better over (coffee/tea/a drink) sometime.”
It puts a lot of pressure on girl before she even had a chance to talk to you. Going direct and telling girl you find her attractive is one thing but asking for date/number right off the bat is other thing. You find her attractive, alright, but you still want to find out something interesting about her. Even if going direct alone can create attraction , by asking for date immediately you skip qualification and comfort phase.
In the past I tried different transitions from asking for direction to personal talk.
Me: excuse me, do you know where is street x?
Her: blab la
Me: btw you have unique style
Usually they say thanks and walk away.
Me: excuse me, do you know where is street x?
Her: blab la
Me: I don’t visit this part of the city too often
Her: oh, I see
Me: you know it’s funny, you remind me a girl from my yoga class
This one works a bit better.
I had a dates from both openers but I am looking for something better.
The one I want to try is:
Me: excuse me, do you know where is street x?
Her: blab la
Me: you looked like I have just interrupted you having some deep thoughts. As if you was thinking about meaning of life or fate of universe..
What do you thing about those ones?
(This post was last modified: 09-06-2012 04:29 AM by starmaze.)
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