Post: #1

Do chicks break shit at your place? Sometimes I feel like I'm banging Urkles sisters.

Girl tries to use washing machine: Breaks knob last week
Girl tries to open sliding door: breaks roller on the track two days ago
Girl uses toilet in my bedroom bath: Doesn't work today and I just rebuilt it
Girl tries to charge iphone via usb on my computer: Wipes out itunes and fucks my phone settings after I plug it in this week
Girl opens screen door: pushes through screen a few days a go.
Girl takes shower: rips towel holder off hinges last week
Girl takes shower: Rips shower curtain last week
Girl uses microwave: puts shit in too long burns dish this week
Girl drives my car: uses every option and button broken on power seat friday.
Girl drops tv remote: battery cover tabs break off this week
Girl tries to do laundry: Drops detergent and cracks bottle leaks everywhere while I'm at work on Wednesday
Girl grabs ice for drink: leaves freezer open a crack and frosts it up/ruins my shit thursday night.

What do you got? This is 7 days here..I'm +4 the last week but geez

Post: #2

Are you fucking she-hulk?

Post: #3

(06-10-2012 02:01 PM)Asmodeus Wrote:  Are you fucking she-hulk?

Post: #4

edit

Post: #5

(06-10-2012 01:21 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Girl drops tv remote: battery cover tabs break off this week

Did it fall out of her pussy or something?

Post: #6

At first glance I thought the title read "Girls taking a shit at your place."

Post: #7

Bitches got no respect.

Post: #8

(06-10-2012 04:01 PM)Roosh Wrote:  Bitches got no respect.

This is really what it is. Your shit is exactly that--your shit--and pretty much fuck it. It simply won't get the same care as her tchotchkes. If I had a dollar for every time a chick just left her trash strewn all over my apartment, didn't pick up her cups, implied she wanted me to make her another drink when she didn't even finish the first one, or left whatever clothing I let her wear for the night in a crumbled ball in the the corner, I'd be able to upgrade my one-way coach ticket to Eastern Europe.

The odd girl who actually picks up her plate, says thanks, and folds her shit before she leaves gets plus points for me. Needless to say, these are few and far between.

Post: #9

Don't get me started on the digital thermostat. I'm hot! I'm cold! Gets up and tweaks. I need one of those highschool covers with a lock.

Post: #10

Hahaha, I'm tempted to blame it on Florida. That place is just wild.

Worst that's happened is a chick breaking a wine glass. We didn't bang, she wasn't down. She still made no offer whatsoever to get me back for the glass.

Post: #11

At the same time, I've destroyed some shit at girls houses.

Very recently, I pulled into one's driveway, hit the back of her car, and pushed it through her garage door.

In the middle of the night I opened up a girl's dresser drawer, pissed in it, then closed it when I was drunk.

My crown jewel though took place in Pensacola, Florida. A stripper I was banging had a three year old son. Kids love me so she asked me to watch him while she went somewhere. I don't remember exactly where she was going, but it may very well have been to work. I fell asleep on the couch and the kid took off. I didn't wake up until she came home about 6 hours later. The police issued an apb and talked to me like I was a real asshole. The child was located, but it was very nerve wracking.

I bet a lot have you have done similar things.

Aloha!

Post: #12

(06-10-2012 04:42 PM)Kona Wrote:  My crown jewel though took place in Pensacola, Florida. A stripper I was banging had a three year old son. Kids love me so she asked me to watch him while she went somewhere. I don't remember exactly where she was going, but it may very well have been to work. I fell asleep on the couch and the kid took off. I didn't wake up until she came home about 6 hours later. The police issued an apb and talked to me like I was a real asshole. The child was located, but it was very nerve wracking.

Hilarious, but this doesn't bode well for Roosh Cat.

Post: #13

Emech I'm right with you.

My old Toyota Avalon was totalled by a chick. I felt like The Dude (happens often, hence my handle) "Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car!"

But before she drove in the last nail, my front passenger seat bore many scars from several women in drunken tasmanian devil mode. There were deep marks in the dash, broken glove box door, broken A/C vents, broken speaker panel, tears in the leather. I don't know why either, I can't remember any of them happening on any specific occasion. Just, after years of having bitches in my passenger seat the state of affairs over there completely deteriorated much faster than my side (which was still relatively pristine)

Numerous wine glasses.

A few family heirlooms from Bulgaria.

Post: #14

(06-10-2012 06:16 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  My old Toyota Avalon was totalled by a chick. I felt like The Dude (happens often, hence my handle) "Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car!"

Man, don't even get me started on the massive disrespect that bitches have perpetrated on/in my car:

1. Traipsing all kinds of sand, dirt, and dog shit into the rugs.
2. Leaving drink cups, take-out packaging, and crumbled napkins behind.
3. Yanking hard (and loud) on the handle before I've unlocked the doors.
4. Fucking with the radio.
5. Lowering the window when the car's still wet from a hosing-down, so it streaks up the windows (after being warned not to).
6. Putting their bare feet up into the dashboard (a pet peeve already) and leaving their paw prints on the window (and not wiping them, of course).
7. Emptying their receipts and random little papers from their purses into my center console.
8. Getting on their phones and thinking it's okay because "I'm distracted too" by driving her-ass around.
9. Grabbing at my packet of gum without asking, acting like that's one of the amenities automatically offered to them.
10. Trying to snatch my iPod out of my hand while I'm changing the song at a stoplight.
11. Complaining about the music.
12. Lowering the window a weird amount, so it just makes an annoying sound at high speeds and doesn't actually cool off the car at all (forcing me to use the kid window-lock function).
13. Leaving their doors unlocked--putting my car at risk--even though I told them the auto locks are a little janky.
14. Dropping their seat to a weird, oblique angle--which makes it hard to do that turn-around, shoulder move when you back up--and not putting it the-fuck back.
15. Letting their sweaty, cold drinks drip all over shit underneath the cup holder.
16. Rifling through my documents in the glove compartment.
17. Using up all of the restaurant napkins I keep in the glove compartment.
18. Leaving behind a bunch of their distinctive, blonde or brown hairs so the next chick gets suspicious that I'm back to my man-whoring ways.
19. Insulting my driving style by, for instance, trying to "spot me" (unsolicited) when I'm backing up, switching lanes, or parking, when I'm a better driver sound asleep than she is on her best day.
20. Clowning on my car (it's kind of a bucket), even though it hauls their fat-asses around just fine
21. Not thanking me for rides.

Post: #15

I would have a hoopty that I would only use for transporting girls in if I could. I already know I'm gonna have to vacuum up the passenger mat and clean the window the next day. I'm pretty sure a little kid wouldn't even be as messy and destructive in the seat once you layed down the rules.

Post: #16

(06-10-2012 07:35 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

(06-10-2012 06:16 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  My old Toyota Avalon was totalled by a chick. I felt like The Dude (happens often, hence my handle) "Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car!"

Man, don't even get me started on the massive disrespect that bitches have perpetrated on/in my car:

1. Traipsing all kinds of sand, dirt, and dog shit into the rugs.
2. Leaving drink cups, take-out packaging, and crumbled napkins behind.
3. Yanking hard (and loud) on the handle before I've unlocked the doors.
4. Fucking with the radio.
5. Lowering the window when the car's still wet from a hosing-down, so it streaks up the windows (after being warned not to).
6. Putting their bare feet up into the dashboard (a pet peeve already) and leaving their paw prints on the window (and not wiping them, of course).
7. Emptying their receipts and random little papers from their purses into my center console.
8. Getting on their phones and thinking it's okay because "I'm distracted too" by driving her-ass around.
9. Grabbing at my packet of gum without asking, acting like that's one of the amenities automatically offered to them.
10. Trying to snatch my iPod out of my hand while I'm changing the song at a stoplight.
11. Complaining about the music.
12. Lowering the window a weird amount, so it just makes an annoying sound at high speeds and doesn't actually cool off the car at all (forcing me to use the kid window-lock function).
13. Leaving their doors unlocked--putting my car at risk--even though I told them the auto locks are a little janky.
14. Dropping their seat to a weird, oblique angle--which makes it hard to do that turn-around, shoulder move when you back up--and not putting it the-fuck back.
15. Letting their sweaty, cold drinks drip all over shit underneath the cup holder.
16. Rifling through my documents in the glove compartment.
17. Using up all of the restaurant napkins I keep in the glove compartment.
18. Leaving behind a bunch of their distinctive, blonde or brown hairs so the next chick gets suspicious that I'm back to my man-whoring ways.
19. Insulting my driving style by, for instance, trying to "spot me" (unsolicited) when I'm backing up, switching lanes, or parking, when I'm a better driver sound asleep than she is on her best day.
20. Clowning on my car (it's kind of a bucket), even though it hauls their fat-asses around just fine
21. Not thanking me for rides.

I'm about 17 for 21 on that list. Probably my number one pet peeve is girls leaving their shit behind. Receipts, hair ties, hair clips, hair, cosmetic bullshit, jewelry. Are they just in some sort of perpetual state of shedding and littering?

Post: #17

(06-10-2012 07:54 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  I'm about 17 for 21 on that list. Probably my number one pet peeve is girls leaving their shit behind. Receipts, hair ties, hair clips, hair, cosmetic bullshit, jewelry. Are they just in some sort of perpetual state of shedding and littering?

That's why I took to saying stuff like this:

Tuthmosis: You got all your shit?

Tuthmosis: Make sure you got all your shit.

Tuthmosis: Don't leave any shit behind.

Tuthmosis: Is that your shit in the back seat?

Tuthmosis: This car isn't your personal garbage can.

Tuthmosis: Respect my car.

Tuthmosis: Show some respect to this car, byatch!

Tuthmosis: Any shit you leave behind I'm throwing in the garbage. Make sure you got everything.

You have to be like an usher or herding dog with these broads sometimes. Keep them moving, and with their possessions. I'm going to get one those flashlights.

Post: #18

Well, it doesn't surprise me that girls are so inconsiderate with people's cars. I can't say I've ever sat in a female's car that was as clean as the average guy's. Guys like their shit to look good and most girls could care less. I remember finding some fingernails or toenails on the met after a lizard left. What the fuck??? I make it a point to wipe my boogers or "accidentaly" stomp my dirt around in a girl's car.

Post: #19

^Relevant (even though chicks are sloppy everywhere, in my observation):

   

Post: #20

Tuthmosis is not marriage material as of yet. If it helps I will pimp his ride and put bigger drink holders in it for his clients

Post: #21

(06-10-2012 09:14 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Tuthmosis is not marriage material as of yet. If it helps I will pimp his ride and put bigger drink holders in it for his clients

Side note: Mech, I wish you could take a look at this car. I think it has a slow power leak or something, because I periodically have to jump it if it hasn't been started in a few days. The battery's new.

Post: #22

(06-10-2012 09:59 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

(06-10-2012 09:14 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Tuthmosis is not marriage material as of yet. If it helps I will pimp his ride and put bigger drink holders in it for his clients

Side note: Mech, I wish you could take a look at this car. I think it has a slow power leak or something, because I periodically have to jump it if it hasn't been started in a few days. The battery's new.

Check your DTF gauge. If you pin it out it could cause a draw. Otherwise do you have a hand held volt meter? Get one if you don't with DC amps fusible on it and I'll walk you through it.

Post: #23

Check the starter Tuth.

Post: #24

I'm going to bring it to a guy. I wish Mechanico was in my area, because I could have him and his goons look at it while we chopped up some game and whistled at girls.

I think I'm going to unload this one, since I keep getting offers on it. It's going to be sad seeing that guy go; I've done a lot of damage in that car. I broke one of my worst dry spells in those seats.

Post: #25

[attachment=6495]