Post: #1

I am sure that I am not the only one who has heard a woman say that he is not "their type". Whether this is clique based on whatever. As a man in his 20s, I have dated and slept with a few women but most have fell into the following categories

1. Nerdy kind
2. Environmentalists
3. Older women who are divorced or just need some action
4. Foreign students visiting America (rarely come across these)

The kind of women I cannot attract to save my life tend to be:

1. Sorority types at my university (D-1a school)
2. The good looking party girl
3. The girl with a strong social circle
4. All American girls (similar to number 1 basically but they get a lot of attention)


I have been reading style guides, reading blog posts from you yourself, and putting this to work but still I just cannot crack some kinds of women.

Is there a time when a man (such as yourself) has to say "lets not even go there". I have been told this by some people online who are a part of the PUA community. They say to lean towards girls who are "your type" (nerdy guys with nerdy girls) but isn't that counter-productive and going against game itself?

Post: #2

You need to become a more cool, fun, and interesting guy to be around in order to pick up those types of girls. Maybe your style/look could use an overhaul. Your mannerisms, posture, and body language is also probably part of it. This kind of metamorphosis can take years, and you can't learn it from a book. I'm speaking from experience.

Post: #3

I did recently start subscribing to GQ and reading from that. Years you say?

That sucks, I am a junior and I finish my junior year in one week and I only have my senior year left.

People have labeled me the comedian and I make friends easily. Those same girls, I can make them laugh but it seems that no matter what I do I always lose to them. I have finals next week, keep you posted on progress.

Post: #4

I'm assuming that you're relying on cold approaches - not social circle game - for pickup.

The problem is the types of girls you describe in Group B are tethered to their social circle. You need to be one of the top dogs to get with them. If you're low on the totem pole or exist outside this hierarchy, you have no value.

The social butterfly with a 1000 Facebook friends will be a pain in the ass to lay if you're relying on cold approach. Why would she go out with you - a "random" - when she has 50 other "vetted" dudes in her extended social circle hollering at her.

Sometimes it's best just to pursue the path of least resistance - foreign girls without a large established social circle, cute introverted girls without a lot of friends etc. You'll get more leeway as a "random" with these types. If she's cute, she's cute - who cares how many friends she has?

Post: #5

(05-01-2012 02:29 PM)Gmac Wrote:  You need to become a more cool, fun, and interesting guy to be around in order to pick up those types of girls. Maybe your style/look could use an overhaul. Your mannerisms, posture, and body language is also probably part of it. This kind of metamorphosis can take years, and you can't learn it from a book. I'm speaking from experience.

I think this sums it up. Present yourself as a unique individual with a experiences you know for a fact would keep her attention and you can get these kinds of girls.

Post: #6

I do, I tell them all sorts of stories and sometimes I BS the stories. Two of my friends do it too but they fall flat.

Post: #7

(05-01-2012 05:12 PM)LooneyBones Wrote:  I do, I tell them all sorts of stories and sometimes I BS the stories. Two of my friends do it too but they fall flat.

This is part of the problem. You need to get to the point where you can talk about yourself and it isn't BS. Becoming a good storyteller (when it actually happened to you) is just a small part of becoming a great conversationalist... key when seducing women.

Post: #8

(05-01-2012 02:26 PM)LooneyBones Wrote:  1. Nerdy kind
2. Environmentalists
3. Older women who are divorced or just need some action
4. Foreign students visiting America (rarely come across these)

The kind of women I cannot attract to save my life tend to be:

1. Sorority types at my university (D-1a school)
2. The good looking party girl
3. The girl with a strong social circle
4. All American girls (similar to number 1 basically but they get a lot of attention)

If you build it they will come,

Figure out what kind of guys these girls date. I am a graduate student, I'm dating a 18 year old sorority girl. She doesn't know that I'm a grad student, Had I told her that I was a grad student. That would be the end. She thinks I am a Junior majoring in business, a typical major with ambition. LOL.

The party type, sorority, social girls on campus are not impossible to game, what I learn is, you have to understand there female psych.

In the beginning I focus on the girls that were average. I soon move up to the sorority once I understood the campus culture and understood what to say to the sorotity girls without triggering any anti slut defense. Trying talking to them, and figure out what works and what doesn't. Cater to there demographics. Certain words will trigger there interest. Gaming them isn't different than gaming nerdy girls. The only difference is culture.

The key here is to understand what sorority girls want. And try to deliver. Understand your clientele.

Post: #9

Describe yourself.

Post: #10

(05-01-2012 02:49 PM)Skrolls Wrote:  The problem is the types of girls you describe in Group B are tethered to their social circle. You need to be one of the top dogs to get with them. If you're low on the totem pole or exist outside this hierarchy, you have no value.

The social butterfly with a 1000 Facebook friends will be a pain in the ass to lay if you're relying on cold approach. Why would she go out with you - a "random" - when she has 50 other "vetted" dudes in her extended social circle hollering at her.

This is a great insightful post. But it also begs the question: How do you get to be "top dog" in the "popular kids" social circle?

The Group B social circle are more or less the "party type." Is it worth it to become one of them? Hah.

Post: #11

hi graduate student

how is life like? I thought grad students were too caught up in work to have time for anything lol

Post: #12

I find it hard to talk about myself because it feels like im trying to impress them rather than asking them questions and going off hooks in conversation

anyone got advice? when are you ment to talk about yourself when they ask a question?

Post: #13

(05-01-2012 02:26 PM)LooneyBones Wrote:  I have been reading style guides, reading blog posts from you yourself, and putting this to work but still I just cannot crack some kinds of women.

My idea here is that for each person there is an interaction energy level he or she is comfortable with. This level of comfort is hardwired in our brains, and this is what essentially distinguishes a nerdy type from a party type. If your energy levels do not match - and they don't have to match exactly, but if they're outside a specific range, the interaction will feel awkward and will end soon.

Of course it is possible to game outside your comfort energy zone, but it would be like pulling a tooth since you'd have to maintain the unnaturally high (or unnaturally low for a high-energy guy) interaction energy level. Not only you're not gonna enjoy it - this is taken for granted - but your interest in her will quickly go down no matter the progression because your brain would tell you that even the best possible outcome is not worth the effort you'd be putting in. So once you crack them, you'll likely find out that it is not worth it for you.

Now you ask, why it works for some other dudes? The answer is that the motivation system in their brain works differently. There is an area in our brain which is responsible for the motivation, which is tied to the reward/punishment system. An achievement like fucking a good looking party girl emits a significant dose of dopamine in the brain of this kind of dude. This happens because his brain accepts the girl's social status as having significant value. The dopamine release starts the motivation cycle, and makes it worthy for him, justifying the effort spent.

Then for a dude like me the girl's social status has zero value. Therefore the amount of dopamine released into the reward system will be the same as of fucking a nerdy chick. Now the punishment system comes to play, the energy spent needs to be rebuilt (you feel "tired" the next day because of higher interaction levels), which in turn tunes your motivation system negatively - i.e. you're not internally motivated to even go for this kind of girls.

To summarize, it is pre-programmed, and you cannot change it permanently. You can do some short-term modifications (like getting drunk), but the effect would be temporary and will wear off. I'd suggest sticking to the chicks in the categories you're getting, and enjoying the enormous benefits it gives you (the most notable one is them being drama-free so those kind of stories won't even happen to you).

If you still want to consider the route, here's what you need to do:

1. You need to build your social value. This would be incredibly difficult if you're a nerdy type since your brain correctly recognizes those hierarchy games as waste of resources.

2. You need to change the way you enjoy spending your spare time. Do you prefer reading a book or playing a game to going out to a club and partying with strangers? When you're getting back home from the club, you'd need to have the "shit, the party is over" feeling instead of the "finally home!" one.

3. You need to build your proper conflict resolution skills. Nerds are very good at conflict avoidance, but if the conflict cannot be avoided they usually resolve it in some weird ways. This means initiating and participating in conflicts with strangers, and peacefully resolving them.

There are more things to do, but even those listed are typically a deal-breaker if you aren't born of this type. To me it is insane to try to change yourself like that just in hope to fuck party girls, but if this is really a reward for you, you can try.

Post: #14

(05-01-2012 10:43 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  Then for a dude like me the girl's social status has zero value. Therefore the amount of dopamine released into the reward system will be the same as of fucking a nerdy chick. Now the punishment system comes to play, the energy spent needs to be rebuilt (you feel "tired" the next day because of higher interaction levels), which in turn tunes your motivation system negatively - i.e. you're not internally motivated to even go for this kind of girls.

Yeah, as I've gotten older I realize all those sorority cum dumpsters just end up waiting tables for a living and gossiping about what their high school friends are doing 15 years later. Kind of changes the way you view them as opposed to when you're younger and it seems like some unattainable prize.

Age and experience solve a lot of these issues. Not much of a shortcut for those.

Post: #15

(05-01-2012 05:38 PM)Gmac Wrote:  This is part of the problem. You need to get to the point where you can talk about yourself and it isn't BS. Becoming a good storyteller (when it actually happened to you) is just a small part of becoming a great conversationalist... key when seducing women.

I don't think it is possible to actually adjust oneself to become a good storyteller for this kind of audience. This is not even about storytelling, it is more about polluting the air with the word gibberish. Basically you "talk" to them like you'd talk to a two year old toddler, and unless you already enjoy this kind of "conversation" you will never do.

Post: #16

Looney could always become a DJ.

That would sort of being a devious way in from the outside.

DJing shouldn't take a whole lot of work to become reasonably proficient enough for it, but it's a lifestyle after all (then again, so is the partying frat/sorority social circle, it's a lifestyle).

Post: #17

(05-01-2012 09:04 PM)LooneyBones Wrote:  hi graduate student

how is life like? I thought grad students were too caught up in work to have time for anything lol

Graduate school is actually easier than undergrad. It is a myth.

I am way more confident, and experience compare to my undergrad competition. I win by default....It took me one year to figure out the sorority game. I got rejected alot.

Post: #18

there are a lot of specific things that could make you more attractive to those types of girls. being a working dj/musician, being ripped, style, being a bartender, a social circle, etc, etc.

Post: #19

Yeah, you probably need to accumulate more advantages to game sorority girls. If you have time and can pony up the effort, you might have to join a sport to make yourself known a bit.

Post: #20

Just as some encouragement; I'm never their type.

It is only a disadvantage until you show you transcend their normal type on every level.

Post: #21

(05-01-2012 11:18 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(05-01-2012 05:38 PM)Gmac Wrote:  This is part of the problem. You need to get to the point where you can talk about yourself and it isn't BS. Becoming a good storyteller (when it actually happened to you) is just a small part of becoming a great conversationalist... key when seducing women.

I don't think it is possible to actually adjust oneself to become a good storyteller for this kind of audience. This is not even about storytelling, it is more about polluting the air with the word gibberish. Basically you "talk" to them like you'd talk to a two year old toddler, and unless you already enjoy this kind of "conversation" you will never do.

Sure there is. That's what becoming a social chameleon is all about. You can change the way you tell stories depending on the type of girl you are with. Using different adjectives, cutting or adding out parts that might be less appealing, being more animated or relaxed, using your hands, sound effects, and facial expressions.

Post: #22

I honestly don't think there is much you can do without completely reshaping your personality. I also generally tend to bag nerdy girl, environmentalists, scientists, and foreign girls (so feminine). They're not ugly at all, usually hot. Just a bit socially awkward.

I fail utterly with the all American sorority generic white girl. I don't dress like a white bro (hate polos, khakis), I certainly don't look like one (dark features, light skin, tall and skinny), don't care about what they do (don't give any shits about beer and sports), and who cares? They're boring people.

Post: #23

IMO this goes back to the classic "tactics vs. value" dichotomy of game.

Examples of value to women:

- Fame
- Money
- Height
- Looks
- Stereotype/Archetype
- Relative social value

Examples of tactics used on women:

- Good energy
- Social competence
- Flirtation
- Charm
- Push-pull
- Psychological tricks/routines (ie. Mystery Method)

Guys who have lots of "perceived value" don't require as much "game tactics" to score with women. Guys who lack perceived value need far more game tactics to yield the same results.

Post: #24

so what is a good height?

I am 5"11.

Another user on here mentioned being White as matter, is it that important?

I just want a taste of something new other than the geeky girl.

Post: #25

Quote:Another user on here mentioned being White as matter, is it that important?

Yes. On average, race matters far more to white women than non-white women.