Post: #776

@Batman I feel like your conversation should have ended after she said "awesome sounds good". All the additional stuff made you sound a bit needy in my opinion.

Post: #777

I picked up this chick in college the day before yesterday. We set a date that was supposed to happen at college last night and she flaked.

I used this to reengage succesfully:

- I actually thought that you were comfortable enough with me for us to meet again haha
- My bad
- Life goes on

Less than 15 minutes later she was answering me back completely engaged and cheerful and it's on again. I think it's because these texts do the following:

1- Shows that i'm aware of and i understand how she is feeling and why she behaved the way she did
2- Shows that i'm not mad or upset
3- Shows that i'm outcome detached

Post: #778

Was going to go out tonight with the dtf asian girl I like and she say's she's not going out anymore. My other spanish girl is having a girl's night at the pub and doesn't want to go to a club with me. A latina has been blanking me for a day and a Brazilian model also blanked me despite such a good pick-up - so 4 flakes this saturday.. Not happy with myself despite having such good leads, even had the same girls messaging me if I wanna meet yesterday but I was busy. How do you keep these hoes on lock and their interest consistent?

Post: #779

(10-07-2017 12:34 PM)Mikestar Wrote:  Was going to go out tonight with the dtf asian girl I like and she say's she's not going out anymore. My other spanish girl is having a girl's night at the pub and doesn't want to go to a club with me. A latina has been blanking me for a day and a Brazilian model also blanked me despite such a good pick-up - so 4 flakes this saturday.. Not happy with myself despite having such good leads, even had the same girls messaging me if I wanna meet yesterday but I was busy. How do you keep these hoes on lock and their interest consistent?

Use Todd's FRED model...

Focus, Relevance, Emotion, Decision.

A girl might be feeling good positive things about you at a certain time but she did not make her mind up about you, and after seeing you, the emotions she was feeling, the chemicals in her body just fade and she's not feeling the same way about you anymore.

So you need to strike when the iron is hot. When you're with her and she's all bubbly and emotional, you want to stay with her as long as possible so she makes a logical decision that she wants you because the decision lasts when the emotions go away. So that's how you lock them.

Post: #780

Was going to go out riding with a girl on her motorcycle - she just won't answer the phone)

Post: #781

Story of a flakey chick from the beginning:

Met her though instagram, 8/10 romanian just moved to london for uni.

Agreed a meet-up which then on the day she says hey can I bring a friend, I said it would be better if it was us, she responds few hours later she cant come. Tried again 1-2 week later, said lets do monday, she said she didnt know yet, said id be free after 6 on that day and she said she couldnt. Last try a week later, send her a photo which was in her city, she said are you in london? You should've told me! I said arent you free, she said she was today (fri) or sunday, I say lets do Sunday, I said youre on your last chance, the next day saturday she says are you free tonight? I said no tomorrow.

We meet on the Sunday, its a good date, did some making out, arranged a date for a few days later, went good, made out some more then tried to make another date a few days later as I was going to Poland for a week, wanted to try and secure the bang before I left, a week is a long time for a girl Ive seen twice and anything can happen, she says she cant the day I suggest, she says she has uni the next day, so I suggest another day, her response is hmmmmm ill think about it, I say sure. Few hours later she says shes going out with a friend that night, but how long am I in London, I say I'm in Poland on Tuesday, no response. I go NC for a week, I show her some pics of Poland, I say hows london, she says boring, I say Ill take you our of your boredom, whats better Wednesday or Thursday? She says Thursday. We talk about Poland over text, I say I didnt try much of the food, I ate a lot of sushi, she says lets have sushi here, I say yeah we can, but lets do cinema Thursday - she says sure.

Wednesday comes around and I say Ill pick you up at 7:30, she says shes feeling ill but she hopes she will be better tomorrow and that she will let me know, the next day she says shes feeling stressed with work and uni and that she had a horrible day at uni and just wants to stay in bed, says she hopes its ok. I say OK. hope uni goes better for you, have a good week. Also on the day she said she was feeling ill saw on another guys insta a pic on story of him and her, this guy has been posting on all of her pictures "you are perfect" "you are gorgeous". Ridiculous.

Post: #782

(10-13-2017 09:43 AM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Story of a flakey chick from the beginning:

Met her though instagram, 8/10 romanian just moved to london for uni.

Agreed a meet-up which then on the day she says hey can I bring a friend, I said it would be better if it was us, she responds few hours later she cant come. Tried again 1-2 week later, said lets do monday, she said she didnt know yet, said id be free after 6 on that day and she said she couldnt. Last try a week later, send her a photo which was in her city, she said are you in london? You should've told me! I said arent you free, she said she was today (fri) or sunday, I say lets do Sunday, I said youre on your last chance, the next day saturday she says are you free tonight? I said no tomorrow.

We meet on the Sunday, its a good date, did some making out, arranged a date for a few days later, went good, made out some more then tried to make another date a few days later as I was going to Poland for a week, wanted to try and secure the bang before I left, a week is a long time for a girl Ive seen twice and anything can happen, she says she cant the day I suggest, she says she has uni the next day, so I suggest another day, her response is hmmmmm ill think about it, I say sure. Few hours later she says shes going out with a friend that night, but how long am I in London, I say I'm in Poland on Tuesday, no response. I go NC for a week, I show her some pics of Poland, I say hows london, she says boring, I say Ill take you our of your boredom, whats better Wednesday or Thursday? She says Thursday. We talk about Poland over text, I say I didnt try much of the food, I ate a lot of sushi, she says lets have sushi here, I say yeah we can, but lets do cinema Thursday - she says sure.

Wednesday comes around and I say Ill pick you up at 7:30, she says shes feeling ill but she hopes she will be better tomorrow and that she will let me know, the next day she says shes feeling stressed with work and uni and that she had a horrible day at uni and just wants to stay in bed, says she hopes its ok. I say OK. hope uni goes better for you, have a good week. Also on the day she said she was feeling ill saw on another guys insta a pic on story of him and her, this guy has been posting on all of her pictures "you are perfect" "you are gorgeous". Ridiculous.

You made yourself way too available. She never really mentioned getting together after that initial date. You kept suggesting multiple days during the week. If you give her options, it will give her more opportunities to flake.

Being overeager is an easy way to lose your chance to bang. Also, you don't need to be constantly texting her. Have more women in your pipeline and slow down with the current girl.

Give her a day you're around, if she flakes, oh well, you have another date lined up anyways.

Post: #783

(10-13-2017 10:38 AM)Remington Wrote:  

(10-13-2017 09:43 AM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Story of a flakey chick from the beginning:

Met her though instagram, 8/10 romanian just moved to london for uni.

Agreed a meet-up which then on the day she says hey can I bring a friend, I said it would be better if it was us, she responds few hours later she cant come. Tried again 1-2 week later, said lets do monday, she said she didnt know yet, said id be free after 6 on that day and she said she couldnt. Last try a week later, send her a photo which was in her city, she said are you in london? You should've told me! I said arent you free, she said she was today (fri) or sunday, I say lets do Sunday, I said youre on your last chance, the next day saturday she says are you free tonight? I said no tomorrow.

We meet on the Sunday, its a good date, did some making out, arranged a date for a few days later, went good, made out some more then tried to make another date a few days later as I was going to Poland for a week, wanted to try and secure the bang before I left, a week is a long time for a girl Ive seen twice and anything can happen, she says she cant the day I suggest, she says she has uni the next day, so I suggest another day, her response is hmmmmm ill think about it, I say sure. Few hours later she says shes going out with a friend that night, but how long am I in London, I say I'm in Poland on Tuesday, no response. I go NC for a week, I show her some pics of Poland, I say hows london, she says boring, I say Ill take you our of your boredom, whats better Wednesday or Thursday? She says Thursday. We talk about Poland over text, I say I didnt try much of the food, I ate a lot of sushi, she says lets have sushi here, I say yeah we can, but lets do cinema Thursday - she says sure.

Wednesday comes around and I say Ill pick you up at 7:30, she says shes feeling ill but she hopes she will be better tomorrow and that she will let me know, the next day she says shes feeling stressed with work and uni and that she had a horrible day at uni and just wants to stay in bed, says she hopes its ok. I say OK. hope uni goes better for you, have a good week. Also on the day she said she was feeling ill saw on another guys insta a pic on story of him and her, this guy has been posting on all of her pictures "you are perfect" "you are gorgeous". Ridiculous.

You made yourself way too available. She never really mentioned getting together after that initial date. You kept suggesting multiple days during the week. If you give her options, it will give her more opportunities to flake.

Being overeager is an easy way to lose your chance to bang. Also, you don't need to be constantly texting her. Have more women in your pipeline and slow down with the current girl.

Give her a day you're around, if she flakes, oh well, you have another date lined up anyways.

I dont agree. We went on two dates not one, I wasnt texting her all the time, it was mainly logistics, if she flaked I wouldnt message for a week and the re-start text with an image of what I was doing. if she did agree to a date I wouldnt text until the day before to sort out time and place of meeting. When I do a date request I suggest multiple days, this turns it from a yes/no to selecting a day, do you not think I should do that? I think the reason she lost interest is because there is someone else.

Post: #784

Planned a bumble date with a mexican chick, she texts saying "i'm on my way back from LA" I say "k just lmk when you're back in town" hours go by and she then texts "hey sry I fell asleep, idk if you still want to hang out"

Bitch please.

Honestly, it sucks for me to confess this, but this kind of shit fucking pisses me off. It's unfortunate that flaking is a serious pet peeve of mine because it's so fucking common.

Post: #785

Matched a chick on Tinder yesterday, pushed for digits and meetup for this evening (got a tentative yes, but seemed enthusiastic).

Text her a tad today, she confesses to having a stressful day at work. Give a semi-forceful (so does today work) and I get a “another day would be better, I’m super stressed and have to run errands for something the following weekend).

Bitch please, you work for the city government - your 9-5 must be so intense for your SJW-self. Chick also is in grad school for an MPA...and I have extended thoughts on people who study political science/anything public policy related).

Only interested in meeting up with her as she’s my current type - 5’3, tan skinned with hips.

Plan on sending a restart text on Sunday, seeing if a night next week works (but only the one evening that works for me, if I haven’t filled it with another Tinder date/night-game lead by then).

Finally, Rhyme - I too despise flaking. We as men make the time out of our (hopefully) busy schedules, and allocate time to giving a girl attention. If she flakes, and you still want to see her again, you then have to shift things around A SECOND TIME - it’s hard thinking that one’s self is keeping frame by doing this.

Now I get the appeal of double (or even triple) booking, especially with these relatively tepid leads (Tinder, a quick # gotten over nightgame).

But a hypothetical question for you (and for others in this thread) - do you prefer the girl to flake, or to follow through but you do not get the bang/feel you made progress towards your goal.

Call me an incrimentalist (is that even a word), but I’d much prefer getting the opportunity to escalate on a girl I’d like to fuck, even if she gives insurmountable LMR (as long as I have not sunk a lot of time, or money) on the attempt.

Post: #786

@Ryhme & @Mace

I used to get mad about flaking, nowadays I generally don't care for the most part.

Some reasons:

-Double/Triple booking girls for 1 evening
-Fuck buddies, plates, main girls are another option that evening
-I always assume a girl will give some sort of flaking excuse, if they show up, gets my juices flowing
-I don't push the sale anymore, they wanna hang cool, if not, their loss
-I control the excitement, I keep it non nonchalant and casual (the I've done this a million times attitude)


I get it, it'll get to you sometimes but you've gotta let it roll off your back my dudes.

We're all gonna make it.

It's been awhile since I had a good flake, the last one was probably this spring when I called a girl right before leaving for the venue, then she ghosted me. It happens to all of us, I ended up balls deep in a plate later that night.

Post: #787

Quote:I get it, it'll get to you sometimes but you've gotta let it roll off your back my dudes.

It bothered me that day and that was it. Haven't thought about it or any other flakes for an extended period of time so it's not really a big deal, just an inconvenience in that moment.

you're right having options kills any 'give a fuck' about flakes. The main reason I was miffed was because I gave up a shift at work that day to meet up with her so I lost about 200 bucks. That was a fuck up, as it automatically made me invested in it. Lesson learned.

Actually, since then what I've been doing is having them meet me at work. I banged the last chick I did this with. She wanted to meet so my response was basically "you want to meet? ok i'll be working at x bar from this time to that time". I don't care if they show up or not either because I'll be making money either way and won't have to plan out a date or anything.

Post: #788

Thanks for the words.

Some context:

-Double/Triple booking girls for 1 evening:

Yes, I agree this would help. I only booked 1, and was kind of pushy to confirm whether she would follow through/confirm. My intention was to sort of hint I
-Fuck buddies, plates, main girls are another option that evening:

Yes, I agree this would hell. I have 0 fuck buddies, 0 plates, and 0 main girls as of now, so I am operating from a deficit, yes.

-I always assume a girl will give some sort of flaking excuse, if they show up, gets my juices flowing:

I like this, and think it’s a productive mentality. Expect the worst, and you’ll either be prepared, or pleasantly surprised.

-I don't push the sale anymore, they wanna hang cool, if not, their loss:

Yeah, I kind of took this approach. Part of why I was so quick to push the meet up. I feel accomplished that I did this at least.



-I control the excitement, I keep it non nonchalant and casual (the I've done this a million times attitude):

This is something that will come with time. The way I see it, after 100 flakes, the 101st one won’t mean shit.


Ultimately, what is slightly disappointing is that while I do plan on sending a restart text, I know I won’t get a response. Whenever there is confusion/indecision, it never, ever goes my way. I’m conflicted between just not reaching out because I’m practically certain of this outcome, or just reaching out because YOLO and I should be process driven and not outcome driven.

Post: #789

That's good man !

That's a great attitude to absorb and learn from your mistakes.

You absolutely see that you were indeed pushy, that's good to note, and correct.

Nah it's okay to throw a text to her, Sunday early evening is perfect, see how her weekend, see what she's got going on this week, what evenings she's free, the slate a day, time, and place to meet.

Be very specific on that last part, so she knows to fuck or get off the dick.

Post: #790

^Or be forceful and tell her the only evening that works for me.

But then I get into the issue of being pushy again. It’s such a fine balance between protecting your ego and not “scaring the cat away.”

Post: #791

(11-02-2017 12:13 PM)MaceTyrell Wrote:  ^Or be forceful and tell her the only evening that works for me.

But then I get into the issue of being pushy again. It’s such a fine balance between protecting your ego and not “scaring the cat away.”

100% it is indeed a balance !

But once you let get of your ego and don't care, then you're really bulletproof.

There's no need to be forcefull.

Evenings after 8 only work for me, so I find out their schedule first, then say what evening works for me.

If they say they can't just let them know, "I'm only free evenings because of work/commute/gym" or whatever.

Then counter saying I'm sure we can make something work, then ask her again if there's an evening during the week (at worst weekend) that she's free.

If she doesn't budge or can't, play it off, and let her know you won't be able to until next week, put her on ice, repeat only once more.

Post: #792

^”so I find out their schedule first, then say what evening works for me.”

Instead of just say, going “Tuesday evening is the only evening that works for me.”

I and my ego would much prefer the latter.

Also all this re-hitting up, it’s like the ROI in each request to hang out gets lower and lower. Like I don’t want to ask a girl 3 times to hang, just for her to get the satisfaction of shooting me down 3 times.

I’d rather just work on a new lead, incorporating my lessons from this past one.

Post: #793

Saying "X day is the only day that works for me" isn't something I'd text.

You're giving away information without getting anything in return.

Just simply ask her, "so what's your evening schedule like this week?" - I haven't had an issue, and if there was some excuse, I know not to take her serious and downgrade.

Check your ego, you haven't built enough rapport, connection, and haven't met her yet. You need to understand that first and why not to come across so pushy. (AKA scaring the cat)

Just hit her up once, if she doesn't sound free or iffy, stroke the pussy, "it's all good I was only free on X(day you asked) if anything we can always meet up next week, what do you got going on the rest of the week ? Any big plans for the weekend ?"

If you need to, come up with some bullshit answer about how you'll be out of town and you'll hit her up Sunday when you get back to plan something, (or send her a pic of something fun you're doing Friday or Saturday) - bitches love to hear travel stories and pictures of fun shit.

In the mean time you're absolutely right, work on new leads, learn some valuable lessons in game.


Now let's say she's still unsure the second time around, there's a few things that have worked for me:

-Next her and move on.

-Go silent a week or 2, hit her back up, no response, move on. Response, immediately strike while the iron is hot and schedule a time and place.

-Keep the text light, then at the right moment in between convos (remember get her schedule), hit her up with a time and place. If she's iffy, use this line, "Well let's be real for a minute, do you for sure want to meet up ? I want to make sure we aren't wasting eachothers time you know ?" - this is a shit or get off the pot moment.

The reason I bring this line up is because I've gotten quite a few varied responses BUT I got an answer:

-They're "kind of talking to someone and want to see where it goes"
-They're dating someone
-They've never met a guy from online (great potential for a phone call/facetime/snap chat)
-They're unsure about something about you (great potential for calming the cat & building comfort)
-Their schedule is actually really shitty to meet.

Regardless of which thing they say, you have an answer to next them, reschedule, or build comfort and meet.

Post: #794

I’m just gonna next, for these reasons:

“You have to be willing to walk away at any moment.” Typical RVF dictum. A good way for me to build this up? Walk away at a moment lol.

My personality/genetic makeup/whatever you want to call it errs on the side of thinking too much about one lead/oneitis. The clearest way for me at the moment to work on this...is to simply build up more practice nexting bitches.

Operating on a 1-strike policy for a bit I think will be helpful for me. But the above is all golden for future attempts and future leads.

Post: #795

Sure walk away at any moment, doesn't mean you can't reach out at a later time.

There was a thread on here where a guy would hit old numbers, especially during the holidays (which is right around the corner aka cuffing season) and girls were receptive to his texts, even if they haven't heard from him in weeks or a month.

He got renewed leads and a few bangs - stuff like that doesn't hurt to try.

It's NOT Beta hitting up a girl twice - especially when you hear from paper tigers online who think they're Alpha Dark Triads

Post: #796

Banged a chick up her ass from my university last week. Made plans to chill with her Tuesday to meet up tonight (Sunday) and hang out. I text her around mid afternoon asking if she's still down. No reply. On to the next one.

Post: #797

^Anal on the first try?

Good stuff my dude. Her ASD must have been off the charts.

Post: #798

^^^ Kaotic, spot on as usual.

It seems like as far along as you are, simple things like getting flaked on still trip you up.

Had a first date with a girl I consider to be exactly what I want to date. I have been with a lot of girls I am not all that into, over the last year. Some stick around for 6 months, others less. I made a point a little while ago to only date the girls I am totally into, the type I only want to really be with, and deleted all of my dating apps. I also put on a little weight for working and traveling so much, and I wanted to take a few months off to get my body back and hit dating again strong and ready. I still approach everywhere I go, everyday almost.

So along comes this one from Bumble, and we have a good first date. No bang or anything, no make out, which is rare for me. But she is eagerly texting me before and after the date. And I had to go away for a week after the date. We text occasionally while I am away, always eager, I am guessing this is going to get good.

Well, I get home, text her to meet up, she says shes busy all week but can see me the following week(this week). We agree on a day. Then I text her today, and no answer. She got away.

Shes either dating somebody, or whatever. Kind of bummed. Girl was just what I wanted. We had a few mutual friends. Texted her tonight, no answer, deleted her number. I wont try to restart, I know from the past that desperate restarts only turn them completely off.

Ill walk away and keep looking.

Post: #799

(11-05-2017 10:17 PM)MaceTyrell Wrote:  ^Anal on the first try?

Good stuff my dude. Her ASD must have been off the charts.

She was pretty down. I noticed her scoping out my instagram quite a bit before and when I first saw her that night, I was talking to two other girls and she just came in obnoxiously so it was pretty clear to me she was down.

While she was in my bed we're literally fucking and Im saying some dirty stuff to her and she gets super offended by one thing I say, literally gets off of me mid fuck and gets dressed and starts walking out my door. I just grab her and tell her I didn't know and I wont say that anymore then we're back to fucking then I just tell her she's turning me on so much I'm gonna fuck her ass and she's down.

Post: #800

Reading these is cathartic, just to know other guys are going through the same BS.

One chick I have already slept with has wisdom teeth problems and had to cancel, which is fine. We'll meet up once she's recovered from extraction.

But another two are giving me pain. One chick started ignoring me earlier this week, following a dat on the weekend. We spent a lot of time together and I didn't make a move, or she has hit it off with another guy.
The problem is I am trying to line up plans for the weekend and need to grow the stones to just make plans to meet someone else. The thing is they are part of the same social circle and I am not sure if bringing another woman I have already slept with(that no one knows yet) to a social function where the other one is going to be.
Not sure I have the skills to handle/defuse the situation.

Basically the not replying thing is fucking up my plans as I try to make the most of my time off.