Post: #1

Forgive me if this is a newbie question. I've spent 90% of my posts in the Lifestyle and Everything else.

Is there any particularly useful resource for talking to girls in bars. I feel like there is a lot of different information out there without a crystallized resource of what works. I have read Bang.

I get laid via social circle game and girls approaching me. I've been complacent too long.

Post: #2

(01-31-2012 11:29 PM)_DC_ Wrote:  Forgive me if this is a newbie question. I've spent 90% of my posts in the Lifestyle and Everything else.

Is there any particularly useful resource for talking to girls in bars. I feel like there is a lot of different information out there without a crystallized resource of what works. I have read Bang.

I get laid via social circle game and girls approaching me. I've been complacent too long.

That's pretty much how I am too man. I'm basically a newbie to this whole game thing so I haven't done tons of approaches or anything like that.

In my experience so far, if the bar is really crowded, it's easy to strike up conversations with girls when you're both waiting for a drink. I'll ask her what she's drinking or comment on the slow service or something like that. I've pulled about four numbers/dates and two bangs from that.

If the bar isn't crowded or I'm not near where the bar is, what's worked for me best is to find a pair of girls who are standing/sitting and talking just to each other. I usually just walk up to them and say hi and ask them how they're doing or something along those lines and it's normally pretty obvious within about 5 seconds whether they like me/want to keep talking to me. If they do, I engage both of them equally and never focus my attention on just one of the girls. In this situation, it's pretty damn hard to go home with/take home one of the girls unless one of them is a huge slut. If they're both huge sluts, a three-way is a very real possibility, although I've yet to have that happen to me (two of my best friends have though). When I leave or when they're leaving, I tell the more attractive girl to give me her number. I've gotten the girl's number the large majority of the time, although just one bang, but hey I'm not a very good closer.

Those two tactics have worked pretty well for me so far in my limited game experience and I'm sure others will have much better and more detailed advice.

Post: #3

I am not sure what your doubt is. Is it the approach logistics on bars? You should elaborate more on the kind of bar environment you are talking, because they vary.

If the bar is full, people moving around, no fixed tables, it is easy, as you'll be running into people while you stand up to get a drink (assuming no waiter) or just moving around.

If you mean the kind of bar people are more or less settled into their own small table groups, it can be "harder". It would take a more direct/balsy move.

I'll just share a small sample of advice, something I learned from observing a friend. We went out a couple of times in a bar recently (in Lahaina, Maui). It had an informal vibe, good music, but not many people. A group of guys playing pool on one side, a group of three girls isolated on a table. No one made a move. My friend and I arrived, and we were there letting the approach anexiety build up. As the girls were isolated into their own little group without much opportunity for opening them, a more direct approach was needed. I wasn't in a good mood, and there he went.

There is basic principle I've been adopting: keep it simple.

My friend basically opened the ladies by saying that he saw that there was a vacant chair and he wondered if he might join their company to join the conversation. He was very formal, polite and warm while doing it, yet decisive and energetic. Soon enough, I joined in, with the same vibe. We practiced opening like this on the following nights as well.

Sometimes, when logistics are bad, it is hard to come from an angle. In bars, where people are seated in their closed groups, without much movement on the venue, you might need such direct approach, which can be quite simple. Let the energy and vibe set the tone for the interaction.

Just some thoughts.

Post: #4

I recently turned 21 so I am far from being a pro on bar game. But I have used Roosh's line "You guys look like you're having the most fun out of anyone here". I have also just used small talk while standing around the bar. If it is a club like atmosphere, I usually find an open girl and go from there. Like Armour said, keep it simple.

Post: #5

Have any of you guys used a tried and true way of catching the attention of a bar tender at a packed bar? As a guy which gender should you go for in terms of getting your order taken faster and what are some of the body language of the tenders to look out for?

I think this step establishes status with the other girls in the bar, because there is nothing worse than standing at a bar but not getting your order heard.

Thanks for the tips and tricks.

Post: #6

90% of the time, my opener is "Hey, how's your night going" or "how'd y'all's night going?" The only other one I use is something like "you look awkward standing here alone" or "why are you here all alone, you weirdo." I normally get there name and try to guess where they are from, then they guess me and we go from there.

(07-06-2017 09:50 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  Have any of you guys used a tried and true way of catching the attention of a bar tender at a packed bar? As a guy which gender should you go for in terms of getting your order taken faster and what are some of the body language of the tenders to look out for?

First order, hold cash in your hand and tip well. 2nd order they will come to you since they will remember you tipped last time.

Post: #7

Im not fond of "formulas" per se as they come off fake. Banter needs to be natural.

But here are a few guidelines that might be helpful to newer guys at the bar

1. Maintain eye contact when speaking to a girl. The more attractive she is the more important and effective this is. The hotter she is the less she's likely to encounter this and this will be a test passed

2. When listening to a girl speak (or at least pretending to) alternate between looking her in the eyes and looking at her mouth/lips. This is very subliminally sexually suggestive and she will get the message.

3. Dont answer questions directly. Ignore. Pivot. Take the conversation to where you want to go. For example:

Her- "What do you do?"

Human nature is such that we want to answer. Ignore it

You- "What would you say are your 3 best qualities?...other than anything about your looks?" (Borrowed from Neil Strauss) Get her answering your questions and qualifying herself to yio

Again I hate formulas but another good rule of thumb is to follow the 2 / 1 rule

Question
Question

Statement/story

Question
Question

Statement/story

Question
Question

Statement/story

Etc. All of the above designed to:

1 Have her invest / qualify herself to you

2 Indirectly demonstrate your value to her

Remember: No chick will remember what you say...They will however remember how you make them feel

Hope that helps

Play on

Post: #8

(07-06-2017 09:50 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  Have any of you guys used a tried and true way of catching the attention of a bar tender at a packed bar? As a guy which gender should you go for in terms of getting your order taken faster and what are some of the body language of the tenders to look out for?

I think this step establishes status with the other girls in the bar, because there is nothing worse than standing at a bar but not getting your order heard.

Thanks for the tips and tricks.

Nothing demonstrates bar game like having a bartender recognize you or even better know you by name.

Go in a few times on slow nights. Order a soda and lime. Ask him / her their name. Chit chat. Be jovial. Most importantly: Tip really well

Think of this as an investment. It will pay off...bigly

Having bartender(s) in on your game?...Hands down the best if not only wingman you will ever need

Not Many are tAlkinG aboUt This

Post: #9

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Post: #10

(07-06-2017 03:19 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(07-06-2017 09:50 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  Have any of you guys used a tried and true way of catching the attention of a bar tender at a packed bar? As a guy which gender should you go for in terms of getting your order taken faster and what are some of the body language of the tenders to look out for?

I think this step establishes status with the other girls in the bar, because there is nothing worse than standing at a bar but not getting your order heard.

Thanks for the tips and tricks.

Nothing demonstrates bar game like having a bartender recognize you or even better know you by name.

Go in a few times on slow nights. Order a soda and lime. Ask him / her their name. Chit chat. Be jovial. Most importantly: Tip really well

Think of this as an investment. It will pay off...bigly

Having bartender(s) in on your game?...Hands down the best if not only wingman you will ever need

Not Many are tAlkinG aboUt This

What about when you are going for the first time at a different city? Most of the time, bar tenders tend to be students or temp staff, it always keeps changing. At a packed night, it can still be difficult getting their attention when they are moving around serving others all the time. It seems you got to catch them at the exact moment they are done with the previous order. In that case, maybe waving a card/cash might help as a previous poster mentions?

I find saying hey/hi doesnt help, you got to catch their eye. Also, saying your order when they are making another order can be interpreted as being rude to some. I might be wrong at this but for female bartenders, they might ask for your order if they like you but if not, its better to go for a male bar tender as some of the female bar tenders can test your frame.

More comments are welcome.

Post: #11

I'm glad I found this thread. I turned 21 a few months ago and I've been going to bars on weekends with not much success.

I always try to go for girls in groups of 2 or 3, but I don't know how to isolate one of them. Also I'm frequently seeing groups of two or three girls go out with at least one guy, probably either freindzoned or one of their bfs. Advice?

Post: #12

(07-05-2018 09:25 PM)NewKing97 Wrote:  I'm glad I found this thread. I turned 21 a few months ago and I've been going to bars on weekends with not much success.

I always try to go for girls in groups of 2 or 3, but I don't know how to isolate one of them. Also I'm frequently seeing groups of two or three girls go out with at least one guy, probably either freindzoned or one of their bfs. Advice?

Create a rapport with all the girls in the group, not just with one of them, and be genuine in your approach. You don't want your target's less attractive girlfriends to cockblock your efforts.

Once her friends warm up to you, your target will drop her defenses because now you have "history"/bonded with each of them. This method also applies if there are Dudes in the group. Heed this warning: the Dudes in her group will act like Big Brothers and WILL cockblock you if they feel you're moving in on "their ladies." (most likely means they're jealous and have a thing for your target)

Again, once her friends have warmed up to you and she has dropped her defenses, you're pretty much a friend to the group now. That's when you move in for the kill. Flirt, get her number, get her out to a more mellow venue... whatever. Point is, you've broken down her first line of defense-which are her friends, and turned them into allies. I've had it where her friends helped me get with her The power of building rapport. Never underestimate it.

Another method to use: if you have yourself and your boys, and there's an equal amount of girls to match the Dudes in your group, then you'll have an easier time breaking your target off from the herd. The only drawback is if any of your boys have to stick with a lesser attractive girlfriend for the rest of the evening until you can close with your target (your boys are wingmen, at this point. Try to repay the favor if you do end up closing).

Post: #13

(07-07-2017 02:19 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

(07-06-2017 03:19 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(07-06-2017 09:50 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  Have any of you guys used a tried and true way of catching the attention of a bar tender at a packed bar? As a guy which gender should you go for in terms of getting your order taken faster and what are some of the body language of the tenders to look out for?

I think this step establishes status with the other girls in the bar, because there is nothing worse than standing at a bar but not getting your order heard.

Thanks for the tips and tricks.

Nothing demonstrates bar game like having a bartender recognize you or even better know you by name.

Go in a few times on slow nights. Order a soda and lime. Ask him / her their name. Chit chat. Be jovial. Most importantly: Tip really well

Think of this as an investment. It will pay off...bigly

Having bartender(s) in on your game?...Hands down the best if not only wingman you will ever need

Not Many are tAlkinG aboUt This

What about when you are going for the first time at a different city? Most of the time, bar tenders tend to be students or temp staff, it always keeps changing. At a packed night, it can still be difficult getting their attention when they are moving around serving others all the time. It seems you got to catch them at the exact moment they are done with the previous order. In that case, maybe waving a card/cash might help as a previous poster mentions?

I find saying hey/hi doesnt help, you got to catch their eye. Also, saying your order when they are making another order can be interpreted as being rude to some. I might be wrong at this but for female bartenders, they might ask for your order if they like you but if not, its better to go for a male bar tender as some of the female bar tenders can test your frame.

More comments are welcome.

I think you summed it up pretty well Papaya. The only thing I would add is if the bar/club is busy is, to be as polite as possible. You have to remember that these people are working, and probably don't enjoy serving drunks and assholes.

Being patient and polite can go a long way.