Guys, thanks for your help tonight.

To answer a question, no, I don't live in the house. I live in a nearby dorm.

And yes, make outs do mean nothing. I've had to learn that the very hard way.

Well boys....

I am starting to see a lot of darkness in the game.

If you have been following my pursuits...this year has been a record for me. 19 girls banged since January 1st. I think those are pretty good numbers for an intermediate player living in a 2nd tier city in the U.S.

Of course to get such numbers, I have had to burn through a of phone numbers, dates, and in general a lot of girls.

I am OK in dealing with the prize - it's still fun to bang - but I've been burning so hard that the sting of rejection is compounded many times more than I am used to.

Instead of getting rejected once a day, I am getting rejected multiple times per day.

Today alone I had 2 girls blow up at me and essentially tell me to fuck off, I had 2 numbers that didn't get an initial reply to my text, and I have a girl that's gone cold on me after 2 dates who I was genuinely excited to see again.

BUT, I have a girl coming over at 8pm to drink with me, and I usually bang girls that come straight over.

So is that a good day or a bad day? What if I bang her, will that change your opinion of the net results?

To me there is a stress around all this and I can't quite figure out how to handle it yet.

----

I am also seeing the darkness that comes with being a player. It is totally consuming and it's bordering on unhealthy.

I think I need to hit the brakes for a minute. I have been grinding and working so hard on my game, and it's working, but I don't know to what end.

I'm banging hotter girls than I have been in the past, and I'm banging younger girls than in the past, so I'm very happy with the results.

However, I'm not happy with the extent the work involved is affecting me. It is changing me and I don't know if it's for the better or the worse. I'm happier than I have been in the past, but it's surrounded by all kinds of negativity that is increasingly hard to deflect.

I don't want the game to define me, so I am struggling to find the right balance.

Blurred you're definitely getting burned out, especially going multiple days with dates and bangs.

Where is the time to yourself to reflect ? To do your own thing ? To hangout with your boys ?

Last year I was on a hot streak for a month, and jesus I crashed HARD.

The rejections come with the territory, it's be expected AND accepted.

I know you shouldn't focus on the negative, but perhaps a review of what might of went wrong on your end would help.

I'd still focus on the positives. For example, I had the SJW 7 freak out on me, I turned that into a positive by banging the Blondie Booty plate and actually a good time with her, the same night.

Based on your lay reports you seem to be racking them up and that's something to be proud of, just remind yourself of where you were in your darkest time pre-game.

I always remember where I was 4 years ago with my ex, the hole I climbed out of, dumping her, then getting solid game a year ago.

Always be humble and be thankful my dude !

I have had the same thing.

Between 1 and 2 years ago I really had some weeks with 10-15 phone numbers all seeming solid, from the pressure it blew up in my face and I got no bangs. Then I did it again relaxed and got more juice and the stress went down.

I think it is like having a growing business or getting promoted to a higher position with more responsibility. At first it seems like a lot to handle, as you get used to it though it becomes normal.

You are definitely heading in the right direction if you are banging hotter and younger.

To get rid of the dark side and the burn side you really need to filter harder and harder for girls that not only are hot and young, but are also a real pleasure to hang with.

----

The darkness I found was the not caring part, just caring less and less while seemingly girls get more and more into it which is just a Twilight Zone feeling.

Sometimes especially recently on this CouchSurfing international pussy splurge I had I felt like I was on some strange TV show. I knew I would get the bang and I wasn't even extremely thrilled. And I got the bangs. When you stack that many chicks in that many nights in those splurge weeks it feels like a weird out of body experience to me.

I knew the game got darker for me when I seriously couldn't name probably 8 of the last 10 chicks I banged without sitting down with pen and paper and thinking really hard. I could probably get to 5 out of 10. And these are all fairly recent.

What to do?

Well I have pulled back a bit on the drinking and chicks. I really find myself like I said screening much harder.

Imagine if you kept burning this hard? How far can you go? Do you want that lifestyle? For me the answer is yes, I want to push hard still, but in an emotionally healthy way.

I don't like that I can't remember almost any of these chicks names. Really what's the point if you can barely remember it? It is like blackout drunk sex, then never seeing girl again, did it even really happen?

I think if I can remember the chick's name, many details about her, and could tell some great stories about great times we had together without missing a beat (they were memorable) then I think I am on the right track to burning hard in right way.

---

Last interesting tid-bit:

I had a plate that wanted commitment after 2 months of seeing each other (this was back in 2009). I turned it down, we had a fuck buddy thing go for 2 and a half years on and off.

I could not even tell you her last name! She was a cute little Chinese college chick too that loved to get it rough from behind and swallow.

To avoid the darkness I think you need to have a main or you need to have multiple plates where you form some more emotional connections and that can get messy. Going behind a main can be messy as well.

There is no free ride.

(03-30-2015 07:14 PM)BlurredSevens Wrote:  I have been grinding and working so hard on my game, and it's working, but I don't know to what end.

I'm banging hotter girls than I have been in the past, and I'm banging younger girls than in the past, so I'm very happy with the results.

Dude -- if you don't know to what end it's working then you must not be enjoying the end results all that much. You may be "happy" with the results (because they give you validation of some sort) but you're definitely not enjoying them nearly enough.

When you fuck the shit out of a luscious slut that you love fucking and shoot multiple groaning loads inside her, you don't wonder "to what end" -- you just start wondering after 24-48 hours or so when you can be inside those holes again.

Two things:

I think you're using condoms? That, to me, is the only "darkness" in the game, LOL. Do you like to eat your pizza slices through a paper BAG? If not, why would you fuck that way?

If you get a girl that is truly nice, fucking her gets better over time. Stop chasing these validation notches and focus on building a small rotation -- or even just one girl if she is truly fine -- that you can fuck over time and learn how best to savor each and every piece and each and every experience. Focus on sexual intensity and on the deepening of your relaxed concentration in eros -- not on the numbers.

That's all you need to do, man... then you'll forget all about that supposed "darkness".

Budding player need help on on this lecture situation. Been gaming this one girl a for a few weeks she seems open but making it hard not sure whether to continue time investment or go for other prospects. Other prospects in the same lecture 1 or 2 seem keen, but they have seen me talk & flirt with this girl. Wise to just ditch the girl I am gaming and go for the one's that are keen? Or will this backfire.

(03-30-2015 07:28 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Always be humble and be thankful my dude !

That is good advice. I think I've posted this before, but one time a girl told me "gratitude will save you from despair" and I think that saying applies now!

(03-30-2015 07:34 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  The darkness I found was the not caring part, just caring less and less while seemingly girls get more and more into it which is just a Twilight Zone feeling.


I knew the game got darker for me when I seriously couldn't name probably 8 of the last 10 chicks I banged without sitting down with pen and paper and thinking really hard. I could probably get to 5 out of 10. And these are all fairly recent.

Imagine if you kept burning this hard? How far can you go? Do you want that lifestyle? For me the answer is yes, I want to push hard still, but in an emotionally healthy way.

---

Really good post, thanks man!

I know exactly what you mean about the twilight zone feeling. Also the part about not remembering the girls. Half the reason I post in the I Just Had Sex thread is so that I can remember details about these girls, because I am hitting so fast now that they are in and out of my life in the time of a long feature length movie.

I am with you on wanting to burn hard to see where it can go.

I am the kind of person that likes to do things just to see if I can do them. Either career, social interactions, sports, or game.

I like to see what's possible for the sake of personal discovery.

Such a lifestyle is not without its challenges, though.

(03-30-2015 08:15 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  Dude -- if you don't know to what end it's working then you must not be enjoying the end results all that much. You may be "happy" with the results (because they give you validation of some sort) but you're definitely not enjoying them nearly enough.

When you fuck the shit out of a luscious slut that you love fucking and shoot multiple groaning loads inside her, you don't wonder "to what end" -- you just start wondering after 24-48 hours or so when you can be inside those holes again.

Two things:

I think you're using condoms? That, to me, is the only "darkness" in the game, LOL. Do you like to eat your pizza slices through a paper BAG? If not, why would you fuck that way?

If you get a girl that is truly nice, fucking her gets better over time. Stop chasing these validation notches and focus on building a small rotation -- or even just one girl if she is truly fine -- that you can fuck over time and learn how best to savor each and every piece and each and every experience. Focus on sexual intensity and on the deepening of your relaxed concentration in eros -- not on the numbers.

That's all you need to do, man... then you'll forget all about that supposed "darkness".

Hahah man, thank you for the Real Talk. I needed to hear that stuff.

I don't really use condoms that much. Sometimes I throw on a condom at the end so I can come inside the girl, since I know it drives them crazy to feel my dick pulsating inside them.

On the point of validation notches....I wish that were the case. But for me it's novelty notches. I like to experience all kinds of girls.

Variety is the spice of life!

I really do enjoy having a wide variety of girls coming into and out of my life. They all feel different and I do enjoy their company. But at some point maybe it isn't really fulfilling me sexually.

I think you are definitely right on the point of sexual intensity with a small number of girls, rather than 1st time sex with a higher number of girls.

Before I found the forum, I was a relationship guy. I've spent 11+ years of my life in LTR's, so I know that the sex gets better over time. Right now though, I don't have any girls that I've been fucking for a long time, so maybe I will pick a few and ramp things up with them. Maybe that lack of deep sexual experiences is what is missing, and making me confused.

Have first date set up on Thursday after getting dumped harshly 2 weeks ago after 4 1/2 months. Need to get back into the Game.

^ Why did you get harshly dumped?

There is a large amount there to learn from.

(03-30-2015 10:41 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  ^ Why did you get harshly dumped?

There is a large amount there to learn from.

I'm going to copy and paste a couple excerpts I have from another forum

Been dating girl for a little over 4 months and it's been fun although some minor stresses. Anyways last Thursday she stayed over we had sex in the morning and then when I'm fucking her from behind I tell her I want to cum on her face and she screams nooooooo, I then just cum inside of her, she leaves shortly after. Were suppose to hang later that night but she tells me her family dinner was later than thought and she doesnt feel well so she is staying in, I then say hope you feel better babe to which she responds I'm not sure I like being called babe. Next day I ask her how her day is going and she gives short one word responses and I ask her if hanging tonight was cool and she said no, just being really distant. She text me Sunday saying she wants to talk and she might want to break up, but we should talk. I tell her I agree but lets not make quick decisions we need better communication about some things and she says ok.
We meet up and at first I didnt know why she wanted to break up a week earlier she was glad to see me, I ask her if there is another guy, no I ask if its because it's semi-long distance, no. She then says she doesnt want to have sex anymore, and I start figuring out its the sex. I've been reading up on The Sex God Method and some other sources and when I have implemented them they have worked well with my gf except this time. I then tell her we wont have rough sex anymore, she starts saying we might not be right for eachother and I say we also might be. We get a little emotional and then I say stuff like you mean so much more to me than sex, we wont have sex again till your ready and she eventually agrees. She then asks me why I did it? I say I wanted to try something new. I ask her if this is something thats been building up? She says no it was only after Thursday after the sex incident that she started to feel this way. She then says there our other reasons like her friends don't like me, shes not comfortable telling her mom about me and she didn't know why, and we always hang out by ourselves. Girls are emotional and live in the moment so if I did something that she found disrespectful that could cause weird feelings for her. Now this girl isn't a freak, she was weirded out about giving head when we first started dating but she is attractive and we click well. After some talking I convince her to come to my apartment, no sex, and just chill and watch a movie which we did, I then only hug and briefly kiss her goodbye. We are suppose to hang out again this Thursday. What I learned is that girls like to be dominated in bed but not feel disrespected, she must have felt that. I'm thinking of bringing up at the beginning of our hang out Thursday that I'm glad to see her and that if I ever do anything that makes her uncomfortable emotionally, physically, or sexually to just let me know because I will stop and never do it again.

Then we hang out a few days later and things went alright but at the end of the night we just make out and she gives me a handjob and we make out but no sex.

Hang out a few days later on a Saturday, things were going alright although something was a little off until at the end of the night when I go to start kissing her she straight up rejects me. I try again, another rejection, I get up and say some things, try again and rejection. I tell her I feel we could have had something special and her issues with our relationship are fixable, she says some stuff and says she doesn't really want to try to fix them. I tell her I feel we have similarities and some other things, then I tell her have a good night and drive 50 miles home at 3 am. She sends me a text saying she was sorry for being mean but she didn't know how to end it, and that Im a great person and good friend and she will miss me. I didn't reply. She sends me text next night asking if Im okay, I thought about not replying but I just say Im fine, and I am fine although yesterday was kind of long. So that's the end of it, I'm kind of excited to get back into Game, was starting to get good right before I got with current girl, pulled first threesome weekend before fucking current girlfriend, and I graduate college in a couple months and will have more free time to travel to bigger cities and game.

TLDR: Gf gets really distant after asking to cum on her face, and then brings up other issues with our relationship. Try to make it work but a week later after hanging out I go into kiss her at night and she rejects me again and again, basically ending the relationship. We haven't talked since.

Edit: this is my first relationship since getting into Game and I learned a lot from it, both from the breakup, the relationship and the sex. I think this girl has some issues though, at age 24 I was her first boyfriend and she told me her mother shuts out her father which she would do to me at times, think the girl has issues with intimacy. I will be a lot better prepared next time around.

It sounds like her interest level sunk after the "facial" incident. Don't reflect on it too long, just see it as a blessing to game again.

Just next her dude. Fuck other chicks and make sure she hears about it. Good chance you will bang her again out of the relationship and you'll get to cum on her face. haha

@Blurred

I have a slightly different take on what you may be experiencing. Indeed it sounds like slight burnout, but I have to ask how balanced is your lifestyle

You seem like an active, social guy - do you have a group of friends you make time to hang out with occasionally? Family?

Reason I ask is because anytime I have experienced burnout it was because I was running girls so hard I became somewhat of a isolationist without realizing what I had become.

This player lifestyle can be consuming and you can find yourself alone for long stints; especially if others around you aren't living the same lifestyle

Sometimes a little balance goes a long way to keep you sane, and restore some prospective

@Blurred To be honest I'm amazed that you've been able to keep up the pace you have for as long as you have. Back in 2012 when I was hitting it hard just after getting out of my marriage I would have dates lined up over a week in advance. My bang numbers have been respectable but nothing like yours (23 in 2012, 17 in 2013, 35 in 2014 and only 7 so far this year) but the amount of work that has gone into those numbers has been nothing short of another full time job. I've been on more dead end first dates than I can think of, fought more lost LMR battles, had so many "sure thing" second dates that never materialized and now I'm really wondering "for what?" I don't regret living this lifestyle but it's not something I see myself in long term. It's why I posed the question of burnout on this thread I started: http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-45440.html

I think the answers already given are all solid. Take a break, screen even harder, live a balance life. But for me the rush of excitement at the possibility of new pussy still makes me want to stay in the game.

(03-30-2015 10:59 PM)gamebreaker32 Wrote:  Edit: this is my first relationship since getting into Game and I learned a lot from it, both from the breakup, the relationship and the sex. I think this girl has some issues though, at age 24 I was her first boyfriend and she told me her mother shuts out her father which she would do to me at times, think the girl has issues with intimacy. I will be a lot better prepared next time around.

I think you have this pretty well analyzed. At 24 and you're BF #1? That's pretty strange. What's her N?

You're right - dominate but don't disrespect. Something like that. It's a mindfuck to figure out how to pull that off sometimes, but that's the basic idea. Especially with American girls. So much of themselves bound up in this "respect" thing, whatever that means. If you're thinking of going LTR with a girl, know that the sex peaks early on. If things are hard now, it's probably not going to get better. Stuff can come up and a girl can suddenly develop a freaky side, but that's the exception.

Also, kids learn relationships from their parents, so absolutely, her mom's relationship with her dad sets up how she deals with men in general. You have a bunch of red flags and you're better off getting back into the game. The mistake a lot of guys make is overrating a girl's good attributes and wifing her up in spite of the issues. One buddy of mine is married to a total bitch. She's superficially nice but terrible to him (your "shutting me out" thing immediately made me think of her). Guess what? Her mom is exactly the same to her dad. So I think you did well here.

(03-31-2015 08:27 AM)MY DETROIT PLAYAS Wrote:  Reason I ask is because anytime I have experienced burnout it was because I was running girls so hard I became somewhat of a isolationist without realizing what I had become.

This player lifestyle can be consuming and you can find yourself alone for long stints; especially if others around you aren't living the same lifestyle

Sometimes a little balance goes a long way to keep you sane, and restore some prospective

Yup this is it for me, you see the world differently, you might sometimes shun hanging out with others. For example, a married buddy hits me up to hangout, I just say I'm tired and I'm not hanging out because I KNOW it's going to be a couples party with kids.

Then another night he'll hit me up because our old friend is in town, then I'll go out.

I haven't hungout with most my friends because they're married, have kids, and in LTR's but they like hanging out with me because it's just us guys.

I have one buddy whose married but runs his marriage so he does what he wants. My best wingman is locked down to a pretty cool chick, which is a total 180 from hot psycho bitches he's dated. One of my best friends ghosts when he's in relationships and I hardly see him. My other good buddy got back with his ex for literally the 5th time.

I don't have much family to be honest, just one father figure and a mother who fell off the deep end, who I rarely have contact with. All my other family is in a major city on the east coast.

Honestly a lot of the people around here in my city are doing the same shit every weekend, going out and drinking with the same people and the same place.

That shit bores me, I even told my main last night "seriously wtf are we doing ? Why are we even going to X bar ? We need to different shit, I don't want to piss my time/life away doing the same repetitive shit"

She agreed and we're going to plan some new adventures soon.

I don't mind being alone, I like the peace and quiet and being able to do whatever the fuck I want.

When it comes to girls, typically I'll fill my week with new ones, plates, and my main.

Sometimes a man has to recharge. I've read some posts on here and resetting your game, refreshing yourself by meditation, solo trips, etc.

I think I'll be trying that this summer I think.

Quick question guys.

I had a keen girl on the hook; she's initiated all contact, lets me know she's back in town etc. Got her off Tinder and I've built a good connection over text and facebook the past 2 months through sporadic texting.

She wrote to me this weekend saying she's back in town for a while. We've talked about meeting up so I suggest drinks at my place (this after a good convo some days prior).

Boom. Radio silence.

My insticts tell me she's flaking. I also think inviting her over from the start might have been too aggressive for this particular girl. Therefore, I'd like to try Tuth's FDB recipe on her, but...

I'm just wondering what you'd do in my situation. Stay silent & "mechanically" next her or do a Hail Mary restart and see if she wants to meet at a venue?

(03-31-2015 11:14 AM)DarianFrey Wrote:  Quick question guys.

I had a keen girl on the hook; she's initiated all contact, lets me know she's back in town etc. Got her off Tinder and I've built a good connection over text and facebook the past 2 months through sporadic texting.

She wrote to me this weekend saying she's back in town for a while. We've talked about meeting up so I suggest drinks at my place (this after a good convo some days prior).

Boom. Radio silence.

My insticts tell me she's flaking. I also think inviting her over from the start might have been too aggressive for this particular girl. Therefore, I'd like to try Tuth's FDB recipe on her, but...

I'm just wondering what you'd do in my situation. Stay silent & "mechanically" next her or do a Hail Mary restart and see if she wants to meet at a venue?

I would wait at least a week and then hit her up with a restart text but make no mention of your previous conversation or her coming to your place. Just pretend that never happened and then suggest meeting up at a bar near your place and have your logistics down. If she goes radio silent again or is wishy washy just next her.

^Forgot to mention that she leaves next week. Before our last exchange we'd talked about meeting up on Friday.

What I did in my last text was define time, activity (wine, talk shit) and place (my crib), and since then radio silence.

Well got busted. Had a month of overlap sex going on between and ex and girl I've been bangin for 3.5 months. A month ago she asked to be "sexually" exclusive, more or less for health reasons (and of course emotional reasons but she doesn't want to admit it). I reluctantly agreed, bc raw dogging would go away if I didn't agree so....

Well shit, for 2.5 months I was bangin her and my ex.. seemed to be no big deal, the ex was told we were just FBs, and thought she mutually understood we downgraded to just FBs.

I finally told the ex I wanted to break it off, she knew about new GF whole time.. well apparently it made her flip her shit.

The bitch went to my new girl's house, she apparently tracked me after my workout from the gym, and I didn't spot the tail.

Went to new girl's house with printed out texts between her and I proving we'd been fucking whole time.. and of course, my new girl freaked the fuck out and dumped me.

Stupid me. Should have just gone on bangin them both... see what I get for doing the "right thing?" Fuck both these cunts. Rinse, wash, onto another(s).

Sounds like your ex had some crazy jealousy issues. Show them you don't give a fuck by cutting off all contact. That way they'll feel like you're already banging new chicks.

(03-31-2015 12:52 PM)DarianFrey Wrote:  ^Forgot to mention that she leaves next week. Before our last exchange we'd talked about meeting up on Friday.

What I did in my last text was define time, activity (wine, talk shit) and place (my crib), and since then radio silence.

As already said, give it a couple of days and then do a restart text like the previous conversation never happened. Try and schedule again for Friday but this time at a bar. If she goes radio silent again then next her.

Having this recurrent problem for a while, I'm finally decided to look at it.

I'm situational alpha at both martial arts and dance class. Girls love practicing with me and I also spit game at them. Often, I try to isolate girls that show IOIs and try to escalate. They either don't let me or flake. I next them. Then, as I stopped talking to them and train with them, they start making this baby face and tell me "You didn't work with me today!/why are you not working with me today!"

I would then re-engage and try to isolate/escalate again. Again no luck. I next them for good for being time wasters. They come nagging again... Happen like every class now, it's annoying.

Ya all think my assertion is correct that these are simply time wasters who want to use me for my skills? Or should I have kept on gaming?

A girl gives you the cold the shoulder, the only time you re-engage is when she invites you out to do something. The ways to make this happen are usually to be seen getting more physically fit and hanging with hotter chicks.

The paradox is if you accomplish what it usually takes to get them to re-engage you really don't need these chicks anymore, you're on a new level.

Attraction is 90% front-loaded.

---

I keep saying it. It is always better to make yourself better and get more Yes girls than figure out ways to weasel in lukewarm Maybe girls.

Going after cold Maybe girls is like trying to get rich by getting a promotion that will give you a $5/hour raise.

(03-31-2015 06:01 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  A girl gives you the cold the shoulder, the only time you re-engage is when she invites you out to do something. The ways to make this happen are usually to be seen getting more physically fit and hanging with hotter chicks.

The paradox is if you accomplish what it usually takes to get them to re-engage you really don't need these chicks anymore, you're on a new level.

Attraction is 90% front-loaded.

---

I keep saying it. It is always better to make yourself better and get more Yes girls than figure out ways to weasel in lukewarm Maybe girls.

Going after cold Maybe girls is like trying to get rich by getting a promotion that will give you a $5/hour raise.

This kinda means game isn't as important as we make it out to be. .

Basically build SMV or die.