Post: #1

A woman in an open marriage has revealed how having affairs has actually made her relationship with her husband stronger.

The 40-year-old woman, who wrote anonymously on Redbook.com, has 2 sons, a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old, with her husband of 7 years whom she calls Dave, but it doesn't stop either of them from having romantic dates with other men.

'There's something magical about being out with a man who's not my husband,' she explained. 'Just call it the secret spark that keeps my marriage alive.'
Instead of thinking of their situation as an 'open' relationship, she writes: 'My marriage is opaque. I recognize what Frank and Claire Underwood have in House of Cards, although I like to think my husband and I aren't as soulless as their characters.

'But there are similarities: We know the other has secrets, but we don't care to find out more. It's an attitude people think of as very French - the idea that you can have an affair and a healthy marriage.'

She explains that since they first started dating, both she and Dave have had a tendency to cheat on each other, which initially prompted screaming matches.

Ultimately, though, they decided the only way to make their relationship work was to acknowledge and accept this seemingly inevitable part of their lives.

While she admits that the arrangement gets less and less sustainable as they - and their children - get older, still she insists it's a way of life that has been good for their marriage overall.

'The affairs aren't my real life,' she explains. 'They're fancy cocktails and tiny plates and falling asleep without the whooshing sound of a baby monitor.'

Explaining that she has yet to say 'I love you' to any man but her husband, she concluded: 'And they make me that much happier for the family I do have.'
Most people seem not to agree with this woman's view.Some comments say her husband and her are good roommates...some say that he doesn't love her and stuff...Some say they feel sorry for the children having such selfish and idiotic parents...bla bla bla...
In fact, one of the interesting comments I read on Dailymail, where an article about her was recently posted said:

Quote:I think it works best if the wife stays faithful and the man can do what he likes...its different for men...we all really know that.

Guess what, it got the highest dislikes...

Well, I was thinking, for those of you interested in marriage, would you ever let your wife bang another man so you can openly bang other women so your marriage can stay a life?

Post: #2

I'm doing this right now minus the ring and I have no problem with it. Maybe it's the fact I don't have to worry about "cheating" per se, but it's enjoyable. In fact just the other day we partied and watched eachother kiss other people, it takes a strong frame IMO.

You can love somebody and still fuck other people, sex is carnal while love is metaphysical.

Post: #3

(05-22-2014 06:40 PM)Skye Wrote:  I'm doing this right now minus the ring and I have no problem with it. Maybe it's the fact I don't have to worry about "cheating" per se, but it's enjoyable. In fact just the other day we partied and watched eachother kiss other people, it takes a strong frame IMO.

You can love somebody and still fuck other people, sex is carnal while love is metaphysical.

Just watch out. Women tend to win more so then men in the whole "open relationship" game. Why? Because she just has it easier and you will notice she will upgrade in men by leaps and bounds in as little time as possible. The man still has to work for bangs, she can bang alphas when she wants for next to no effort, it's a shitty game that does not factor in respect to the man, it gives the man freedom, but no respect.

It's a rigged system and it a something I wouldn't want to be a part of unless I was setting the rules (she can play with women, if I choose to I can also).

If the frame isn't set then your just FWBs with a deep connection.

Real game is your wife being cool with you fucking around because she still has the iron clad swagger that your always going to come back to (and continually love) her.

Post: #4

I'm doing my best to. It is a learning experience for me as I was always a jealous boyfriend in my beta days and so just assuming now she's getting railed by two alphas at once and being okay with that makes it all the better for me to get over the possessive jealous nature that lingers. I would definitely say i'm still in control and even though I have suspicion, am almost entirely sure he hasn't done that, yet

But you're right it's a fineline not for everybody type thing.

It's also nice to see a bit of jealousy in females i've never been able to command before. I think it is effective to show her even if her side is a lay-down-and-spread-em cakewalk, that i'm still smashing and her getting dicked is not affecting my frame or ability to pull.

Post: #5

(05-22-2014 06:56 PM)kosko Wrote:  Just watch out. Women tend to win more so then men in the whole "open relationship" game. Why? Because she just has it easier and you will notice she will upgrade in men by leaps and bounds in as little time as possible.

I have exclusively had unfenced relationships and been 100% honest about it for more than 12 years now.

The problems you describe apply to beta / provider males who attempt this lifestyle.

As long as you are satisfying a woman's stronger primary imperative - the need for dominant / alpha male she will often not stray with other guys even though she knows that she can if she wants.

Post: #6

Sorry but I don't share. If it's some dumb slut I'm fucking I don't care because there are no emotions involved. But a LTR? No way.

I had one fuck buddy that wanted to turn into a girlfriend. Even tried to bribe me with gifts and offers of being cool with me fucking other women. I wasn't into her though. No amount of money or offers of kinky sex will get me to LTR a girl that I don't like. That's not what a girlfriend is to me.

Post: #7

(05-22-2014 06:35 PM)vannigoc Wrote:  I recognize what Frank and Claire Underwood have in House of Cards, although I like to think my husband and I aren't as soulless as their characters.

Once again, every female writer justifies her behaviour through celebrities or fictional characters.

(05-22-2014 06:35 PM)vannigoc Wrote:  It's an attitude people think of as very French - the idea that you can have an affair and a healthy marriage.'

"Our marriage isn't a sham. It's sophisticated and continental." i.e. my social value is higher than the reader.

Seems like Female Typist 101.

Post: #8

"Roissy Maxim #109: Consensual polyamory is a contrived hookup service for undesirable sexual market rejects."

This isn't true 100 percent of the time, but from what I have observed, this is mostly the reality. I have a female friend from high school who friended me on Facebook and told me she was "poly."

The only poly I could think of was Polly-O string cheese, because it looked liked she'd eaten two cartons of it every day since I'd seen her last.

Post: #9

(05-22-2014 06:40 PM)Skye Wrote:  I'm doing this right now minus the ring and I have no problem with it. Maybe it's the fact I don't have to worry about "cheating" per se, but it's enjoyable. In fact just the other day we partied and watched eachother kiss other people, it takes a strong frame IMO.

You can love somebody and still fuck other people, sex is carnal while love is metaphysical.

I think love is overrated...I think I'd agree with what Kosko said(in his comment below yours)-it doesn't give the man respect because she'd have it easier and you will notice she will upgrade in men by leaps and bounds in as little time as possible....

Post: #10

(05-22-2014 07:09 PM)JJ Roberts Wrote:  

(05-22-2014 06:56 PM)kosko Wrote:  Just watch out. Women tend to win more so then men in the whole "open relationship" game. Why? Because she just has it easier and you will notice she will upgrade in men by leaps and bounds in as little time as possible.

I have exclusively had unfenced relationships and been 100% honest about it for more than 12 years now.

The problems you describe apply to beta / provider males who attempt this lifestyle.

As long as you are satisfying a woman's stronger primary imperative - the need for dominant / alpha male she will often not stray with other guys even though she knows that she can if she wants.

This was a point I was going to add to my original post, I am glad you responded. I agree on this.

What transcends the upper level of this when a man is truly in control of a open situation is that the "respect" thing I mentioned above gets normalized because the woman, simply finds it hard to find any men that are worthy substitutes. She dosn't have the fire to chase lions when she has a lion of her own. That is a huge thing that balances the respect of the relationship.

I learned this from the OGs in the lifestyle whom basically was in the same situation as you painted. It was simply hard wired for her not to forgo anything basically without his (soft) approval, she could do what she want but she was never compelled to stray off away for herself to upgrade on status and quality each time. It was almost always a couple swap situation or a women joining in. In the start of the lifestyle I would play with her, but it got to the point where, even me, just out of respect didn't even feel like it anymore. It was a soft leach he had on her. I learned quickly that in this lifestyle if the woman can freely pounce on cock she dosnt respect her man, every woman whom still had respect for her man would still defer overtly/covertly to her man for approval. Thus I learned to not even acknowledge the woman if let's say I seen a female I wanted to pounce on but could still she was in a couple. I would just quickly read her eyes and demeanor, simply introduce myself, read/scan further, then would deflect to the dude because he would be offering the final approval. I earned quickly the women whom didn't respect their men simply acted on their own (aggressive) impulses freely, the worst ones would never defer to their men and would just act.

And the little fire of jealousy (better called possessiveness). I think a little of it is necessary to love. A deep feeling of care and commitment has to develop. I can't see how one couldn't take that on if some level of possessiveness (even small) does not exist. It's the 'public bus complex', people respect less shit that isn't there's. People put their feet up and toss trash around on the bus but would never do that in heir own cars as a level of possessiveness exists towards their own car.

The whole "Poly" thing I could go off on for pages. Men whom have poly relationships have harems, women whom have poly relationships are damaged whores incapable of loving a man on a basic level. She still loves but can't fully. These women typically don't like children either, in old times they would of been concubines.

Post: #11

Assuming that they are both doing it and are equally benefiting from it, I don't see any problem with this. In how many marriages is that the case though? The power balance is parasitic in nature in 90% of cases.

Post: #12

First I was like "oh cool, a woman thats cool with an "open" relationship"

Then I say the part where it says "they are both free to see other men"

And it just turned into a gay dude in a convenience marriage.

Post: #13

It's not exciting when it's all out in the open like that. And that's the whole point of cheating, at least for me. Hell, it isn't even cheating when it's all out.

edit: wait, what? the guy sees other guys? not women? did i read that correctly?

Post: #14

(05-23-2014 02:06 AM)lowside Wrote:  It's not exciting when it's all out in the open like that. And that's the whole point of cheating, at least for me. Hell, it isn't even cheating when it's all out.

edit: wait, what? the guy sees other guys? not women? did i read that correctly?

I'm not so sure about the edit, but you cheat cuz it's a thrill rather than because you want more than one honey? If i'm reading that correctly that sounds kind of like a woman's reasoning. If not, just ignore me lol.

Also if that is true it's pretty obvious she's got him by the balls while also holding on to another man / multiple men. She just gets to have a beta and her alphas.

Post: #15

(05-23-2014 02:10 AM)Skye Wrote:  

(05-23-2014 02:06 AM)lowside Wrote:  It's not exciting when it's all out in the open like that. And that's the whole point of cheating, at least for me. Hell, it isn't even cheating when it's all out.

edit: wait, what? the guy sees other guys? not women? did i read that correctly?

I'm not so sure about the edit, but you cheat cuz it's a thrill rather than because you want more than one honey? If i'm reading that correctly that sounds kind of like a woman's reasoning. If not, just ignore me lol.

Also if that is true it's pretty obvious she's got him by the balls while also holding on to another man / multiple men. She just gets to have a beta and her alphas.

It may be so. All I'm saying is I love the game, but I lose interest immediately after the bang. I would absolutely not be interested in having a fixed honey on the side. What's the point if you aren't gaming?

I like the idea of an open relationship but only if it applies to the man can't have your woman screwing around.

Post: #16

(05-22-2014 10:28 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  "Roissy Maxim #109: Consensual polyamory is a contrived hookup service for undesirable sexual market rejects."

This isn't true 100 percent of the time, but from what I have observed, this is mostly the reality. I have a female friend from high school who friended me on Facebook and told me she was "poly."

The only poly I could think of was Polly-O string cheese, because it looked liked she'd eaten two cartons of it every day since I'd seen her last.

And the cow on the package looks like a Wallace and Gromit character.

Post: #17

(05-22-2014 10:28 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  "Roissy Maxim #109: Consensual polyamory is a contrived hookup service for undesirable sexual market rejects."

This isn't true 100 percent of the time, but from what I have observed, this is mostly the reality. I have a female friend from high school who friended me on Facebook and told me she was "poly."

[Mod: Gore image removed]

Post: #18

NO WAY IN HELL!!!

Roissy/Heartiste covered quite a bit the poly-amory-scam that is basically an optimiziation of the Alpha fucks/Beta bucks mating strategy of females.

There may exist a few masculine-minded females who paired with the mega-rich Super-Alphas can pull off that kind of shit, but for over 95% of the population the man is the loser. Women can easily outfuck almost any player. For them getting in a committed relationship is their SMP-value and polyamory does not account for that. Few exceptions only support the rule.

The manosphere has clearly found that neither polyamory (women winning) nor polygamy (Super-Alphas or situational ruling Alphas hoarding women while super-high-IQ-civilization-building Betas have zero women and zero motivation) is in ANY WAY BENEFICIAL FOR LONG-TERM SOCIETY SURVIVAL!!!!!!!!!

Post: #19

I think many of us can probably personally attest to the fact that oftentimes after cheating, which I realize is diff than this scenario, you have more enthusiasm for your gf. Not sure why but having a little something different makes your regular thing more appealin for some reason.

In some ways I think people who do this are very secure and have a good thing going, they aren't acting out this charade that they dont both want to fuck other people. That said at the same time when you have kids all this time your out dating and fucking is time away from your family and kids which is where you probalby should be spending your time.

I think guys and girls are def different though. Yeah there's plenty of women like this who wanna fuck everyone but I think women as a whole if they have a good relationship and feel they are loved and stuff dont "need" to fuck someone else where I think guys are just wired diferently, even in the best relationship with a gorgeous cool women a guy is still gonna wanna fuck other women, just look at all these celebs dating super hot chicks who still cheat.

Though I do think this makes sense I dont know that I could ever be cool withs omething like this. I think its different for guys and girls. Even if its just in the setting of a threesome. Not to say women don't get jealous they certainly do but I think with guys there's more of a primal ego thing going on. Whether your talking about apes or cavemen its genetically in us to spread our seed and only be us doing it, kinda like how with gorillas only the alpha mates with the women. I think with guys there's a big thing to get past as far as you being a chump because someone else is fucking your girl where as I dont think women have that same thing.

Post: #20

I think for me personally...I'd much rather have a wife that's faithful to me, while I run around in discretion; it's the best way.

Bitches' tone that she's so 'advanced' and 'enlightened' by basically being a whore is annoying, though. I'm sorry, but you and your husband are not Frank and Claire Underwood.

Post: #21

I'm going to cheat regardless of anything, but would prefer she stay faithful.
This is the double-standard that all men want to have.

Would take the perfect girl in every sense of the word for a completely open marriage.

Post: #22

(05-24-2014 07:45 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  BENEFICIAL FOR LONG-TERM SOCIETY SURVIVAL!!!!!!!!!

In America shit's already fraying, just waiting for who's gonna be the kid who pulls the thread that unravels the whole country.