Post: #26

(05-28-2011 06:13 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  I don't support it either. Unless you're like Cupcake, who works in a situation where he sometimes only has seconds-long windows to talk to girls--and has scant other options in these settings--I think there are at least three solid reasons to forget the idea of business cards...

As someone who began using business cards when he first got started, I think I should chime in here.

Skip the cards. Seriously. They never work.

In retrospect I can see pretty clearly that I was using the cards as a crutch to approach women. It was so much easier to just hand her something and hope she followed through. It was passive and, frankly, very unusual. I doubt many of the girls I gave cards to were ever given cards in their lives. I distinctly remember one girl getting weirded-out by the fact that my card "only" had my name and number. Come to think of it, it does seem a bit desperate to have had cards made in the first place...

I do know one other guy who gives out cards and recommends the Facebook approach. He's never gotten calls, but has gotten a few contacts via FB. Don't know if it's gone anywhere, but I doubt it.

That being said, there are instances where cards might be handy and those are where isolation is impossible. Two scenarios come to mind, each with some better options:

1.) You work in a service-sector job where customer contact is very limited. Think cashier or bank teller. You can slip a repeat customer your card and tell her to text you later since "you can't talk now". Probably won't get you anywhere, but it's better than nothing. You have to preface it with something good or it's gonna look...dare I say it..."creepy". There are better options:

a.) Get some chit-chat going about a place she likes to frequent, maybe where she works, and meet her there later. This could be more effort than it's worth, but it's definitely the best bet.

b.) If you still insist on handing her something you would be better off just writing your info down on a slip of paper right in front of her. I think that would appear much more confident and wouldn't have the "planned-out"/"desperate" vibe that a card might give.

2.) Large groups of people. Hitting on a girl in a large group is tough, especially if there are other dudes around. You don't know if a boyfriend is in the crowd and the girl might be too embarrassed to separate from the crowd to "get picked up". Handing out a business card to the entire crowd might be a good move here. It looks like a friendly gesture to everyone else and gives the girl a way to contact you privately. I've seen someone pull this on a crowd at a beach and I thought it was the only move that redeemed the business card approach for me. Better options:

a.) Ask the crowd where they might congregate later. This gives the chick an opportunity to pipe up and tell you where you might meet her next without her having to "hit on you" openly. Also provides an opportunity to make friends and have some social proof at that location.

b.) Invite them all out somewhere you want to go. An invitation to do something then and there would be best.

Just remember that business cards are for situations where isolation is extremely difficult or impossible. They are passive, desperate measures. Use them when there's no other option and never get your hopes up.

I like Gmac's humorous approach, btw.

Post: #27

(05-28-2011 11:28 PM)CupCake Wrote:  

(05-28-2011 06:13 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  I don't support it either. Unless you're like Cupcake, who works in a situation where he sometimes only has seconds-long windows to talk to girls--and has scant other options in these settings--I think there are at least three solid reasons to forget the idea of business cards...

As someone who began using business cards when he first got started, I think I should chime in here.

Skip the cards. Seriously. They never work.

In retrospect I can see pretty clearly that I was using the cards as a crutch to approach women. It was so much easier to just hand her something and hope she followed through. It was passive and, frankly, very unusual. I doubt many of the girls I gave cards to were ever given cards in their lives. I distinctly remember one girl getting weirded-out by the fact that my card "only" had my name and number. Come to think of it, it does seem a bit desperate to have had cards made in the first place...

I do know one other guy who gives out cards and recommends the Facebook approach. He's never gotten calls, but has gotten a few contacts via FB. Don't know if it's gone anywhere, but I doubt it.

That being said, there are instances where cards might be handy and those are where isolation is impossible. Two scenarios come to mind, each with some better options:

1.) You work in a service-sector job where customer contact is very limited. Think cashier or bank teller. You can slip a repeat customer your card and tell her to text you later since "you can't talk now". Probably won't get you anywhere, but it's better than nothing. You have to preface it with something good or it's gonna look...dare I say it..."creepy". There are better options:

a.) Get some chit-chat going about a place she likes to frequent, maybe where she works, and meet her there later. This could be more effort than it's worth, but it's definitely the best bet.

b.) If you still insist on handing her something you would be better off just writing your info down on a slip of paper right in front of her. I think that would appear much more confident and wouldn't have the "planned-out"/"desperate" vibe that a card might give.

2.) Large groups of people. Hitting on a girl in a large group is tough, especially if there are other dudes around. You don't know if a boyfriend is in the crowd and the girl might be too embarrassed to separate from the crowd to "get picked up". Handing out a business card to the entire crowd might be a good move here. It looks like a friendly gesture to everyone else and gives the girl a way to contact you privately. I've seen someone pull this on a crowd at a beach and I thought it was the only move that redeemed the business card approach for me. Better options:

a.) Ask the crowd where they might congregate later. This gives the chick an opportunity to pipe up and tell you where you might meet her next without her having to "hit on you" openly. Also provides an opportunity to make friends and have some social proof at that location.

b.) Invite them all out somewhere you want to go. An invitation to do something then and there would be best.

Just remember that business cards are for situations where isolation is extremely difficult or impossible. They are passive, desperate measures. Use them when there's no other option and never get your hopes up.

I like Gmac's humorous approach, btw.

Well, I guess I was wrong with my idea for the most part. I would like to make clear that I am not a fan of the card with just your name and number idea. I think that DOES look desperate and planned ou. I think you should have some kind of need for the card (a business), even if you have to pretend! If you have legitimate (or at least seemingly) business cards, I can't see how giving a girl your card in a scenerio where she's busy or doesn't have a lot of time, is a bad idea. The girl pumping gas or while she's at work scenerios come to mind Yes, it does act as a bit of a crutch, but that's the whole idea, to have something to help you when you're feeling a little shy! Like someone else said on here, I prescribe to the idea that ANYTHING is better than NOTHING! Plus, it's not like I invented the business card idea. it's been in use for decades, and I'm sure to some success. Otherwise it would've been overwhelming common knowledge to be an unsuccessful practice!

Post: #28

I guess it all depends on your personality and game style. I usually allude to the fact that I'm a mysterious, international traveler of sorts, so I'm pretty sure it would work as a funny gimmick. Worth a shot anyway, I'll report back when/if I have some success.

Post: #29

I agree that anything is better than nothing. My friend did once get a date and then a bang from slipping a girl a note with his number on it.

But handing out a card - even with solid attraction built up front - will almost never lead to anything more. Rather than coming up with the best way to slip a girl your card, focus on turning the situation into one where you can get a number. I'd feel demoralised by handing out cards all over the place only to see at best 5% of them leading anywhere (I'm making that number up, but I don't expect the odds to be much better).

If you do start handing cards out I'd love to see you break down the numbers - maybe we'll be surprised.

Post: #30

(05-31-2011 04:26 PM)Caligula Wrote:  I agree that anything is better than nothing. My friend did once get a date and then a bang from slipping a girl a note with his number on it.

But handing out a card - even with solid attraction built up front - will almost never lead to anything more. Rather than coming up with the best way to slip a girl your card, focus on turning the situation into one where you can get a number. I'd feel demoralised by handing out cards all over the place only to see at best 5% of them leading anywhere (I'm making that number up, but I don't expect the odds to be much better).

If you do start handing cards out I'd love to see you break down the numbers - maybe we'll be surprised.

I do intend to break down the numbers, but I want to make it clear that this isn't the only form of game that I'd recommend! I'm saying cards, with a legitimate business, can be a useful tool. For isntance, the guy you mentioned about slipping his number to that girl... Why would his chances been any worse had he slipped her a card? Also, 5% success rate doesn't sound good at all, but if all you're going after are 7's and better, even putting 1 or to 7-8 quality girls on your team, using just this one method can't be looked at as a bad thing! I don't think anyone on this forum is thinking about using cards as their sole means of meeting girls! It just hekps when you're in a rushed situation, or that one girl you just want to Hail Mary attack. Also, not that this necessarliy matters, but I've heard more than one famous PUA advocate getting cards in your arsenal, including Tariq Elite (King Flex) as well as them advocating that giving a woman your number, instead of you taking her, is more effective and weeds out non-cooporative prospects.

Post: #31

(05-31-2011 03:28 PM)Gmac Wrote:  Worth a shot anyway, I'll report back when/if I have some success.

Please do.

Post: #32

Ive heard people talk about using business cards, but I doubt you would get a lot of girls to call you back by just handing them a business card.

If you can get them laughing and talking, get their number and THEN give them a business card on top of all of that, to show that you are employed and not a bum, then I think the cards will help them remember you and work in your favor. Itll show that your somebody that might have a little status.

But simply walking up to a girl and telling her she's pretty and then handing her a business card telling her to call you? That shit might sound cool in theory and look smooth in movies and in your mind........but I doubt that shit will work like u want it to in real time.

Post: #33

Anyone care to comment on the picture I posted on page 1?

Post: #34

One of my friends had the business card idea years ago. We went to a concert and he opened up on at least 50 women and handed out his card.
Not one of them responded on it.
I think he didn't build up enough kino and secondly, business cards seem too informal. It might work on a business woman but on a regular every day lizard, she will see it as too sterile and stiff necked.
A business card is impersonal and can be handed to 1000 people. She won't feel special and unique and won't call you (generally). You can use it to target the final 5 percent but I don't think it should be your main bread and butter.

Post: #35

business cards play important role if you are famous.

Post: #36

(06-01-2011 10:27 AM)Moma Wrote:  We went to a concert and he opened up on at least 50 women and handed out his card.
Not one of them responded on it.

LOL. Shit, that sucks.

Well, I guess this myth has been officially BUSTED.

Post: #37

(06-01-2011 10:27 AM)Moma Wrote:  We went to a concert and he opened up on at least 50 women and handed out his card.
Not one of them responded on it.

I approached a late-20s, artsy blonde literally 10 minutes ago (basically on the way home). I did a decent little job of getting her excited about future plans, and hit her up for the digits mid-conversation to hammer out the details.

She handed me a thick-card-stock business card with just her name, e-mail, and phone number.

I chuckled and immediately thought of this thread. I think business cards work well--for women--since I probably will respond to it.

Post: #38

(06-01-2011 10:16 AM)Gmac Wrote:  Anyone care to comment on the picture I posted on page 1?

I think the shit is great. I think IF you're gonna try this route you have to be over the top. It has to be obvious that the card is a gimmick.

If you're obvious about the gimmick then it puts you back in control. It lets her know you dont give a shit and that its only for kicks.


My namesake Chad Daring Sr. used business cards to much avail. His were very over the top, and obviously only for social use. He also had the proper swagger for it. He didnt properly hand them to a girl, he'd playfully whip them out, over exaggerated, but not over the top.

I've thought about doing this myself, just not down to shell out the bones to do it at this particular moment.

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #39

Ok, I have a little story, nothing major, but enough to show that business card game is a viable weapon in your arsenal in situations where the girl may be hesitant...

Yesterday afternoon I was at the gas station in San Rafael. (Marin County, Bay area) As I was filling up my car a vehicle pulled up on the other side of the pump island. Out came an attractive Latina, I'd say 27. (Down side, she had two little kids in the back seat) She had about a 6 face, and an 7 1/2 to 8 body, with long pretty hair. As she exited the car she gave a quick but polite only smile and we exchanged a "hi", as she was walking to go inside to pay for her gas. At that point I decided I had to say something and would make my move when she walked back to her car. As she exited the store and walked back towards her car, some random white guy who was sitting in his car at a red light about 50 feet away blew his horn to get her attention and wave. (Like I said, she was rather good looking.) She looked over to see who was blowing at her and gave a quick wave back to him. I don't know why, but at that moment I just began to think, "She has a little fun girl in her!" (AKA, slut) and decided to make my move at once. I figured simple and direct was best, because honestly I wasn't 100% sure she even spoke english. I said, (while smiling. Not grinning, smiling) "Excuse me, I'm not sure what the rest of your week is looking like, but I would like to take you out." She said, Umm, I don't know, I'm usually pretty busy all week." She had a little smile when she said this, but I still got the feeling that she was going into her natural defense posture, and was preparing for the blow off. I then said, "I tell you what, let me give you my card and then you can decide from there. If you call, you call, if not no hard feelings." She said, "That's fair." and I handed her my card and said goodbye. no more than 10 minutes later she called me!! I didn't answer. An hour later she text me, and we spoke a little while after that and set up a coffee date for next Wednesday.

As I've said before, I know that business cards can't be the only thing you live by, but I noticed yesterday that when a girl is hesitant, and not sure if she's feeling you, a business card can give her the opportunity she needs to contact you later once she gets her mind right, and has time to digest the fact that a decent guy just approached her. A girl can be hesitant fior various reasons. I know in my case, I have very glaring pluses and minsus. I'm rather muscular (+) but I'm short.(-) Most girls consider me to be somewhat cute (+) but I'm black, usually a (-) if the girls isn't black herself. Minuses such as these can give a girl pause. However, pluses such as these can cause a girl to continue to think about you even after you've parted. That's where the card comes in handy. Also, without a card, I would've been forced to go into prolonged reqesting (begging) and badgering for her number, potentially making me look desperate. This way, I was able to get right to the point with confidence and yet still give her a way to contact me later. Get your cards fellas!

Post: #40

On the topic of business cards I spot this cutie with a camera while I'm walking back to work from lunch. There is never anything to lose in approaching, and at the very least it is practice for me, so I approach her and ask her if she's any good with the camera. She tells me that she's just playing around trying to learn on her own and learn from her class that she's taking. I talked to her a little bit more about what kinda photography she likes to do and what she does when not photographing.

She lives in the town that I work in, and I said I wanted to see some of her work and proposed meeting at the Starbucks across the street from my office sometime early next week. I asked her for her phone number, to which she replies with the typical 'I don't feel comfortable giving out my number, but can I email you?' garbage. I said I don't do well with emails and phone is the best way to reach me since I don't have time for email tag, but she wouldn't give in. Rather than forcing the issue, I figured just cut your losses. I gave her my card and said call me with the mindset of if she does then great and if not, then it's on to the next one.

How could I have made this smoother?

Post: #41

Urban Renaissance Man -

"I tell you what, let me give you my card and then you can decide from there. If you call, you call, if not no hard feelings."

That is what is known as a "soft close" with a "take away".

Can be real effective when delivered correctly.

Good work.

Post: #42

(06-22-2011 03:37 PM)Urban Renaissance Man Wrote:  Ok, I have a little story, nothing major, but enough to show that business card game is a viable weapon in your arsenal in situations where the girl may be hesitant...

Yesterday afternoon I was at the gas station in San Rafael. (Marin County, Bay area) As I was filling up my car a vehicle pulled up on the other side of the pump island. Out came an attractive Latina, I'd say 27. (Down side, she had two little kids in the back seat) She had about a 6 face, and an 7 1/2 to 8 body, with long pretty hair. As she exited the car she gave a quick but polite only smile and we exchanged a "hi", as she was walking to go inside to pay for her gas. At that point I decided I had to say something and would make my move when she walked back to her car. As she exited the store and walked back towards her car, some random white guy who was sitting in his car at a red light about 50 feet away blew his horn to get her attention and wave. (Like I said, she was rather good looking.) She looked over to see who was blowing at her and gave a quick wave back to him. I don't know why, but at that moment I just began to think, "She has a little fun girl in her!" (AKA, slut) and decided to make my move at once. I figured simple and direct was best, because honestly I wasn't 100% sure she even spoke english. I said, (while smiling. Not grinning, smiling) "Excuse me, I'm not sure what the rest of your week is looking like, but I would like to take you out." She said, Umm, I don't know, I'm usually pretty busy all week." She had a little smile when she said this, but I still got the feeling that she was going into her natural defense posture, and was preparing for the blow off. I then said, "I tell you what, let me give you my card and then you can decide from there. If you call, you call, if not no hard feelings." She said, "That's fair." and I handed her my card and said goodbye. no more than 10 minutes later she called me!! I didn't answer. An hour later she text me, and we spoke a little while after that and set up a coffee date for next Wednesday.

As I've said before, I know that business cards can't be the only thing you live by, but I noticed yesterday that when a girl is hesitant, and not sure if she's feeling you, a business card can give her the opportunity she needs to contact you later once she gets her mind right, and has time to digest the fact that a decent guy just approached her. A girl can be hesitant fior various reasons. I know in my case, I have very glaring pluses and minsus. I'm rather muscular (+) but I'm short.(-) Most girls consider me to be somewhat cute (+) but I'm black, usually a (-) if the girls isn't black herself. Minuses such as these can give a girl pause. However, pluses such as these can cause a girl to continue to think about you even after you've parted. That's where the card comes in handy. Also, without a card, I would've been forced to go into prolonged reqesting (begging) and badgering for her number, potentially making me look desperate. This way, I was able to get right to the point with confidence and yet still give her a way to contact me later. Get your cards fellas!

URM,

Great gas station pick up!

I just decided that I'm gonna get some cards made. I think they will come in handy sometimes when i'm out daygaming. I don't know what the hell they are gonna say but I will figure that out.

P.S. Did you eat at "Sol Food"? I love that place when i'm on that side of the Golden Gate.

Post: #43

I use Avery business card sheets (like Avery 8371) and will print them out ten to a sheet as needed for professional events. Go to the hardware store, buy a can of "Deft Spray On Varnish", and after after printing and separating the cards, set them on a sheet of wax paper and lightly spray the cards to seal the ink in and make them fairly waterproof. One $20 packet of Avery cards that you print as you go should last you a while.

I've done silly things like putting my hotel room number on them at a conference when I've known it in advance. Or left off things I didn't want to share, like my home phone number when they only need to contract me for that conference.

But for picking up women, nada. From the still in college and never had a real job yet set all I've gotten is the scary cyber-stalking response where I find EVERY PICTURE has gotten a click that night. But no contact, because a business card might as well be a rock from the moon for them.

When I was working in people's homes as a job, I'd get personal calls from my business cards. Which kinda sucked because it was from female clients who I'd already had a client-service man interaction and they felt they could treat me as a beta. But that was over five years ago. Now, no response from the few I've handed out.

Post: #44

(06-22-2011 05:49 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(06-22-2011 03:37 PM)Urban Renaissance Man Wrote:  Ok, I have a little story, nothing major, but enough to show that business card game is a viable weapon in your arsenal in situations where the girl may be hesitant...

Yesterday afternoon I was at the gas station in San Rafael. (Marin County, Bay area) As I was filling up my car a vehicle pulled up on the other side of the pump island. Out came an attractive Latina, I'd say 27. (Down side, she had two little kids in the back seat) She had about a 6 face, and an 7 1/2 to 8 body, with long pretty hair. As she exited the car she gave a quick but polite only smile and we exchanged a "hi", as she was walking to go inside to pay for her gas. At that point I decided I had to say something and would make my move when she walked back to her car. As she exited the store and walked back towards her car, some random white guy who was sitting in his car at a red light about 50 feet away blew his horn to get her attention and wave. (Like I said, she was rather good looking.) She looked over to see who was blowing at her and gave a quick wave back to him. I don't know why, but at that moment I just began to think, "She has a little fun girl in her!" (AKA, slut) and decided to make my move at once. I figured simple and direct was best, because honestly I wasn't 100% sure she even spoke english. I said, (while smiling. Not grinning, smiling) "Excuse me, I'm not sure what the rest of your week is looking like, but I would like to take you out." She said, Umm, I don't know, I'm usually pretty busy all week." She had a little smile when she said this, but I still got the feeling that she was going into her natural defense posture, and was preparing for the blow off. I then said, "I tell you what, let me give you my card and then you can decide from there. If you call, you call, if not no hard feelings." She said, "That's fair." and I handed her my card and said goodbye. no more than 10 minutes later she called me!! I didn't answer. An hour later she text me, and we spoke a little while after that and set up a coffee date for next Wednesday.

As I've said before, I know that business cards can't be the only thing you live by, but I noticed yesterday that when a girl is hesitant, and not sure if she's feeling you, a business card can give her the opportunity she needs to contact you later once she gets her mind right, and has time to digest the fact that a decent guy just approached her. A girl can be hesitant fior various reasons. I know in my case, I have very glaring pluses and minsus. I'm rather muscular (+) but I'm short.(-) Most girls consider me to be somewhat cute (+) but I'm black, usually a (-) if the girls isn't black herself. Minuses such as these can give a girl pause. However, pluses such as these can cause a girl to continue to think about you even after you've parted. That's where the card comes in handy. Also, without a card, I would've been forced to go into prolonged reqesting (begging) and badgering for her number, potentially making me look desperate. This way, I was able to get right to the point with confidence and yet still give her a way to contact me later. Get your cards fellas!

URM,

Great gas station pick up!

I just decided that I'm gonna get some cards made. I think they will come in handy sometimes when i'm out daygaming. I don't know what the hell they are gonna say but I will figure that out.

P.S. Did you eat at "Sol Food"? I love that place when i'm on that side of the Golden Gate.

FUnny you mention Sol Food. I just ate there last night with this girl I met yesterday in a bar, a couple of hours after I left the gas station! Lol. I didn't go into that story because I didn't meet her using cards, so it doesn't really pertain to this topic. However, yes. I love Sol Food!

Post: #45

(06-22-2011 05:36 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  Urban Renaissance Man -

"I tell you what, let me give you my card and then you can decide from there. If you call, you call, if not no hard feelings."

That is what is known as a "soft close" with a "take away".

Can be real effective when delivered correctly.

Good work.

I appreciate the compliment, especially form the G-Man. Still, I think my close could've been a little bit more strong. I'm wondering if I should've just said, 'Call me" ,instead of giving her a choice and risking coming across a bit beta.

Post: #46

(06-22-2011 05:33 PM)at350zguyy Wrote:  On the topic of business cards I spot this cutie with a camera while I'm walking back to work from lunch. There is never anything to lose in approaching, and at the very least it is practice for me, so I approach her and ask her if she's any good with the camera. She tells me that she's just playing around trying to learn on her own and learn from her class that she's taking. I talked to her a little bit more about what kinda photography she likes to do and what she does when not photographing.

She lives in the town that I work in, and I said I wanted to see some of her work and proposed meeting at the Starbucks across the street from my office sometime early next week. I asked her for her phone number, to which she replies with the typical 'I don't feel comfortable giving out my number, but can I email you?' garbage. I said I don't do well with emails and phone is the best way to reach me since I don't have time for email tag, but she wouldn't give in. Rather than forcing the issue, I figured just cut your losses. I gave her my card and said call me with the mindset of if she does then great and if not, then it's on to the next one.

How could I have made this smoother?

If everthing you say happened as you say, I don't think you could've made it any smoother. I think you engaged her properly, showing a lot of courage. You didn't just settle right away for her consolation prize of a e-mail, and you showed some persistence in trying to get her number. Then, when all else failed, you gave her a way to contact you once you parted. Maybe, after some playful banter, you could've taken the email address, so you coud've at least have a chance to work her form that direction. Maybe. Other than that, it sounds textbook perfect. The thing I try to keep in mind is that not every girl is going to like you. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong. it just means she isn't initially attracted to you. it doesn't even mean that, having the time and opportunity, you couldn't slowly win her over. It just means she isn't initially attracted to you. Nothing wrong with that, it doesn't necessarily mean you failed in any way.

Post: #47

(06-22-2011 06:31 PM)Urban Renaissance Man Wrote:  

(06-22-2011 05:36 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  Urban Renaissance Man -

"I tell you what, let me give you my card and then you can decide from there. If you call, you call, if not no hard feelings."

That is what is known as a "soft close" with a "take away".

Can be real effective when delivered correctly.

Good work.

I appreciate the compliment, especially form the G-Man. Still, I think my close could've been a little bit more strong. I'm wondering if I should've just said, 'Call me" ,instead of giving her a choice and risking coming across a bit beta.

No, I think your close was good. You conveyed the proper subtext of "I'd love to fuck the shit out of you, but if I don't I really don't give a fuck." Still, it sounds like the girl was interested right off the bat and you could have closed just as well with proper game instead of resorting to a business card, which I have to believe is a lower-percentage play in the long run.

Post: #48

(06-22-2011 06:47 PM)gringochileno Wrote:  

(06-22-2011 06:31 PM)Urban Renaissance Man Wrote:  

(06-22-2011 05:36 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  Urban Renaissance Man -

"I tell you what, let me give you my card and then you can decide from there. If you call, you call, if not no hard feelings."

That is what is known as a "soft close" with a "take away".

Can be real effective when delivered correctly.

Good work.

I appreciate the compliment, especially form the G-Man. Still, I think my close could've been a little bit more strong. I'm wondering if I should've just said, 'Call me" ,instead of giving her a choice and risking coming across a bit beta.

No, I think your close was good. You conveyed the proper subtext of "I'd love to fuck the shit out of you, but if I don't I really don't give a fuck." Still, it sounds like the girl was interested right off the bat and you could have closed just as well with proper game instead of resorting to a business card, which I have to believe is a lower-percentage play in the long run.

Agreed.

It was a good close in this situation.

She said: "Umm, I don't know, I'm usually pretty busy all week."

Which was a mini-"take away" on you.

Then you countered with a "take away" on her, which worked.

Tight Game. G Manifesto Approved.

"which I have to believe is a lower-percentage play in the long run."

True.

But that in turn made this close more "artistic".

And probably more satisfying.

It's all about Style.

Post: #49

(06-22-2011 06:37 PM)Urban Renaissance Man Wrote:  

(06-22-2011 05:33 PM)at350zguyy Wrote:  On the topic of business cards I spot this cutie with a camera while I'm walking back to work from lunch. There is never anything to lose in approaching, and at the very least it is practice for me, so I approach her and ask her if she's any good with the camera. She tells me that she's just playing around trying to learn on her own and learn from her class that she's taking. I talked to her a little bit more about what kinda photography she likes to do and what she does when not photographing.

She lives in the town that I work in, and I said I wanted to see some of her work and proposed meeting at the Starbucks across the street from my office sometime early next week. I asked her for her phone number, to which she replies with the typical 'I don't feel comfortable giving out my number, but can I email you?' garbage. I said I don't do well with emails and phone is the best way to reach me since I don't have time for email tag, but she wouldn't give in. Rather than forcing the issue, I figured just cut your losses. I gave her my card and said call me with the mindset of if she does then great and if not, then it's on to the next one.

How could I have made this smoother?

If everthing you say happened as you say, I don't think you could've made it any smoother. I think you engaged her properly, showing a lot of courage. You didn't just settle right away for her consolation prize of a e-mail, and you showed some persistence in trying to get her number. Then, when all else failed, you gave her a way to contact you once you parted. Maybe, after some playful banter, you could've taken the email address, so you coud've at least have a chance to work her form that direction. Maybe. Other than that, it sounds textbook perfect. The thing I try to keep in mind is that not every girl is going to like you. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong. it just means she isn't initially attracted to you. it doesn't even mean that, having the time and opportunity, you couldn't slowly win her over. It just means she isn't initially attracted to you. Nothing wrong with that, it doesn't necessarily mean you failed in any way.

Appreciate the positive response, Urban. I normally don't even do stuff like that, but in the mean time I will keep pursuing opportunities and try to refine myself in the process. I'm still pretty new to this stuff and will only get better at it (I hope).

Post: #50

(06-22-2011 06:47 PM)gringochileno Wrote:  No, I think your close was good. You conveyed the proper subtext of "I'd love to fuck the shit out of you, but if I don't I really don't give a fuck." Still, it sounds like the girl was interested right off the bat and you could have closed just as well with proper game instead of resorting to a business card, which I have to believe is a lower-percentage play in the long run.

Ok, you bring up a good point.... I too felt that I had a chance from the moment she said "Hi." You know that vibe you get when a person gives you a smile or a "Hi" that just a tiny bit warmer than it needs to be? That's the feeling I got. Which honestly is probably what propelled me to approach her in the first place. So, you're right, chances are I could've successfully closed even without a card. However, that card made it to where I didn't have to keep begging her to spend time with me once she said she was busy. Remember, when I first asked her out she said, "I'm usually busy the entire week." To me, that was a bit of a blow off, since obviously, unless you're Oprah or running your own company, every woman has time throughout her week to kick it with someone if she really wants to.

The card was an effective tool to keep me on her mind, and give her a way to re-contact me. Also, cards act as a bit of an exit strategy, should the approach not go as well as planned. You can end things less akward by just saying, 'Ok, well here's my card, give me a calll should you change your mind. have a nice day." Lastly, like I said earlier, I feel women many times can be hesitant when they meet a guy, because of conflicting opinions of you. "cute but short", "tall but balding" etc. Not to mention the fact that you're a stranger, she might actually be a tiny bit scared of you. and there's the real possiblity that might have caught her at a time where SHE feels she's looking her worst, and says no because she just wants to exit the situation. Or maybe there's a boyfriend still in her life, but it's rocky. Whatever. The card gives her a second chance, once she has time to ponder on it.