Post: #1

One of my main girls in California was complaining that she didn't have a date for New Years Eve. I like this girl, and wanted to see her. So I got the idea to surprise her. Bought a plane ticket, and booked a room out there for the night.

Days before NYE, I accidentally slipped the surprise to her. She freaked out, in a terrified way. I come to learn that her family is coming to town, and that the idea of me meeting her family on NYE would "mean something" that she "just isn't ready for". I canceled the flight, and got my ticket price credited back.

Fast forward to NYE, and she's complaining on the phone again that I'm not going to be there for her to kiss when the ball drops. I asked her, "well, who's fault is that?". She says, "you're right".

She's begging me to come out and visit again now that her family is out of town. I do want to spend time with her, but I'm reluctant to go after this incident. I feel like I'd be jumping through hoops. On her time, and on her schedule. We've hardly been dating a month.

I'm leaking game here brothers. What's the right play?

Post: #2

Easy. Don't go see her. Difficulties in Miami are making your mind focus on pussy you already had. Resist the urge, especially since she's so far.

Post: #3

Read this thread /thread-31650.html very carefully.

Post: #4

I agree do not go see this woman, don't deal with her games man.

Post: #5

The fundamental problem here is that you like a girl who's long distance to you after a mere month of dating.

The only move possible is that *She* has to make the huge financial and personal sacrifice to come to see you, end of story. There are no other solutions under which a relationship can happen. (and the whole thing reeks of blue pill, unless of course you get her to move and you still see other chicks, in which case, Bravo!)

If she can't, you definitely can not. Cause you'd be signing up for additional cost, time, effort, and energy to see her, until you decide the thing is worth pursuing full time.

Even w/o getting all game and red pill, you're only bringing your "representative" and she's only showing you her "representative" - Only the best most presentable versions of yourself in ideal situations are having the relationship.

As soon as one of you makes the jump (you probably) to live near each other/with each other full time - then and only then will you realize what kind of mistake that you've made.

I've made this mistake. Do not make this mistake.

WIA

Post: #6

(01-01-2014 05:23 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  The fundamental problem here is that you like a girl who's long distance to you after a mere month of dating.

The only move possible is that *She* has to make the huge financial and personal sacrifice to come to see you, end of story.

If she can't, you definitely can not.

WIA

Insightful as always WIA. I was hoping you'd chime in on this.


That said, it would appear that if I had a reason *other* than her to fly back in Cali, that would be the only way?

A business contract for example. "Hi baby. Looks like I'll be back in town on biz next week. Maybe you & I can catch up then".

Of course, the contract would need to be real. The psychic game forces of the universe can't be fooled.


...or can they?

I'm hung over. Perhaps I'm making this shit more complicated than need be.

Post: #7

(01-01-2014 05:32 PM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  

(01-01-2014 05:23 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  The fundamental problem here is that you like a girl who's long distance to you after a mere month of dating.

The only move possible is that *She* has to make the huge financial and personal sacrifice to come to see you, end of story.

If she can't, you definitely can not.

WIA

Insightful as always WIA. I was hoping you'd chime in on this.


That said, it would appear that if I had a reason *other* than her to fly back in Cali, that would be the only way?

A business contract for example. "Hi baby. Looks like I'll be back in town on biz next week. Maybe you & I can catch up then".

Of course, the contract would need to be real. The psychic game forces of the universe can't be fooled.


...or can they?

I'm hung over. Perhaps I'm making this shit more complicated than need be.

If you're trying to love this chick, and go long term, and you keep hand - she has to move. period.

If you're just trying to fuck this chick when you fly in, tell her whatever she needs to hear, and then live with your decision that you're just telling this chick what she needs to hear so that you can get your dick wet.

The "high road" is, "when i'm with you i'm with you, when I'm not, I'm not" - basically she can fuck other dudes, because you're going to fuck other chicks.

But a chick that wants you - won't settle for that, and in extreme cases will tell that you she is "faithful". Whether or not she's truly not taking dick, you'll never know - but most guys wrongly take a chick at her word.

Most newbs to the game obsess about all the cock she's stuffing in her holes when they're not around - but the real problem is the emotional investment in some long distance chick, hurts their game at home with chicks that they could fuck, or even turn into girlfriends.

Bitch could be a pornstar/super model/trust fund chick, best of the best, but if she's not with you - it's kind of pointless, imo.

Good luck.

WIA

Post: #8

Long distance situations are ALWAYS challenging speaking from experience, but as was previously stated the key is making her INVEST (emotionally, financially, time) as much and quickly as possible. People who invest, want to so a 'return' of some sort and are LESS likely to leave it all on the table like their flakier counterparts. Who doesn't want to see a return on their investment? But if you do all of the catering, the other person will get lazy and take that kindness for granted. Nip it in the bud immediately.

You seem to have the momentum now that she "feels bad". Since you've already showed your hand, you can reasonably expect her to make that leap to see you on your own time/schedule/location. That is IF she is as down as you perceive her to be. This may go a long way to show you her ideas on reciprocity & compromise.

Also shows you right off the bat who/what you are dealing with...

Post: #9

Recalibrate.

How much do you like California? What's your time/money really worth to you?

I spent a week in Houston last year trying to bang a chick. I needed a week off, spent a lot of time in the gym, and tried to work on my day game.

It was a huge failure in terms of banging the girl, but I had a great time working on my own goals during the day.

Roosh has a theme of "always have another option when meeting a girl".

Hell, if its LA, come meet up with some forum members and party.

Just don't expect to LTR this girl without her moving to you.

Post: #10

If you cater to her demands you lose Frame.

Tell her to come visit you. If she won't, she's just not that much into you.

I've been on both sides of the coin and when a chick will travel to YOU, then her interest level is high.

LTR Game is about making the girl invest 10 fold into you; not the other way around.

The higher her investment, the more she becomes attached.

Post: #11

Game is just like poker, if you are dealt a bs hand on the onset, fold and get new cards next game (if you aren't playing at high level and if it's limits).

Post: #12

(01-02-2014 07:13 PM)soup Wrote:  Game is just like poker, if you are dealt a bs hand on the onset, fold and get new cards next game.

That is a brilliant insight.

As some of the posters keep saying on RVF - plenty of vagina out there.

Post: #13

I agree with WIA. Next on this one.

I think there are two issues on this you're not really addressing and are glossing over.

1. She is mad she spent New Years alone she was not mad that you were not there. That is a major red flag. Look at the interaction, flip it around. If she surprised you with "I'm coming to see you in Miami!" Would you be happy? Sounds like it. So this means she holds the cards because she made you cancel. If the tables were flipped I'd be much more positive on this, the interaction overall has her holding much more chips it seems.

2. You're a very cool cat and so I do want to bring up one more issue I noticed. You seem to be "hell bent" on finding the mother of your kids, wife material or what have you but I think this thought process is actually making it Harder on you to achieve this. If you want a chick who is "the one", I hate to say it but they will usually chase you more. You won't be gaming her as much as she is desperately trying to get a hold of you. She will show up at your doorstep. She will drop many hints she is thinking about you. Her friends will know all about your life before you are even introduced. And of course, she'll be explaining how much you'd "love her family (the marital pre-sell)". This is "girl game" she drops billions of hints while you maintain frame and control the ship.

Don't see anything like that in her so IMHO you should move on. You deserve better than that, and DON'T force yourself to find the "one" by X date, your emotions will get out of whack and you'll make a bad decision. Seen it IRL many times.

All that said, sorry the shit didn't work out, but again you can do better. Nnnnnnneeeexxxxttttt

Post: #14

(01-01-2014 05:07 PM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  Fast forward to NYE, and she's complaining on the phone again that I'm not going to be there for her to kiss when the ball drops. I asked her, "well, who's fault is that?". She says, "you're right".

Why are you using logic on her?

Sorry to say, but she's not that into you. A girl who was into you would be jumping off the walls at a surprise visit.

You desire to surprise her and the fact that you're still talking to you after she spit in your face indicates you have beta tendencies to get rid of.

Never talk to her again unless your'e in down and want a random booty call.

She is nothing to you. She spit in your face.

You were going to travel across the country to see her. She told you to stay home.

Tell me again why you're still talking to her?

Post: #15

^ I am not as harsh as mike but he is right, she essentially did "spit in your face" or in more chill terms she basically said "you're not as important to me as I am to you".

I wanted to ask ya about point 2 In the post but we hit the clubs too hard that night ha. Guess this is a good a spot as any to get an answer to the timeline issue.

Post: #16

I am of a different opinion. Forget your ego. Forget the game.

What do you want to do? Do you want to see this girl? Are you tired of BS in miami? Just want to get laid?

It really depends on what you want.

Im in my mid 20s, but as this stands my family> some random significant other. I get that. If some chick tried to invite herself rando to my family thing, I'd wouldn't tolerate that. I think people are over-reacting here. This is a chick of 1 MONTH!!!! Maybe the girl is old-fashioned, nervous, shy, blah blah blah. Its basically a non-factor

Sounds like you want to see this girl, and Id say go for it. You live an location-independent life and its no matter for you to move there for a bit. Its a different case if you have to uproot your life.

That being said, I think you are pushing the "looking for wife" card too hard. Its like the old anecdote- those who are hell-bent on finding "love", always end up not finding it. Just enjoy yourself man, and take it 1 step at a time.

Post: #17

If this girl wanted to be with you, she would make it obvious. There would be no doubt in your mind.

By 'no doubt', I mean she would be calling you constantly, asking about where you'll be, and making plans to come to YOU. I am speaking from experience.

Next her.

Post: #18

A lot of gold insights here.

Post: #19

Thanks everyone. I haven't made a move just yet.

New development; She just txt'd me, "have you had sex with anyone else?"

The reason she's asking is cause she's paranoid about std's. If I say yes, 90% chance she will end it now. My goal is an open LTR, which I can achieve if we spend more time together.

Next move? Keep in mind I like this girl. She does call & txt me everyday. Doesn't make sense to 'next' her without good reason. At least not at this point. Travel for me no issue. For her it's not realistic given her work schedule & financials.

Post: #20

New development; She just txt'd me, "have you had sex with anyone else?"

^Evade by making a joke:

"I fucked half of Miami. Just left the ER cuz my cock was bruised"

Her: "Fuck off I'm serious!"

You: "relax. My cock has been good"

By saying "good" it placates her, and is true: your cock fucked a hottie so he was good.

That being said, your tone sounds like you're worried about losing her, which means your Frame is already skewed.

I prefer the, "Yes doll I did fuck a girl. Due to you not coming to Miami and not wanting me to come there for NYE, so chill out."

Post: #21

(01-05-2014 09:01 PM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  New development; She just txt'd me, "have you had sex with anyone else?"

^Evade by making a joke:

"I fucked half of Miami. Just left the ER cuz my cock was bruised"

Her: "Fuck off I'm serious!"

You: "relax. My cock has been good"

By saying "good" it placates her, and is true: your cock fucked a hottie so he was good.

That being said, your tone sounds like you're worried about losing her, which means your Frame is already skewed.

I prefer the, "Yes doll I did fuck a girl. Due to you not coming to Miami and not wanting me to come there for NYE, so chill out."

Wow.

This is gold.

+1 from me McQueen.


I combined both of those approaches. This reply is money in the bank.

Post: #22

You seem to be taking her seriously, while she doesn't do the same for you.

We can talk at length whether it's her fault for being a typical narcissistic American woman or your fault for having oneitis, but the solution is the same in both cases: stop taking her seriously.

Post: #23

update;

After a few strategic txts, freeze outs, and "I'm out here living my life - take it or leave it" conversations, she started acting right again. Sending me sweet miss you so much txts, and all the sexual defilement requests you can imagine for the week. Life was good.

Feeling optimistic about things, I figured fuck it, and hopped a plane back to Cali. The whole time leading up to my arrival was non-stop "please fuck me good" and "can't wait to see you".

Got settled in, and hit her up late for our rendezvous. The tension has been building all week to this moment. Our re-uniting...

"sorry, but I'm not in the mood to have sex tonight". But she still wants to cuddle.



I txt her "Sorry you're in a mood. I'll do something else. Let's try for tomorrow."

She looses her shit. Accuses me of only wanting her for sex, being insensitive, not caring about her, etc. etc. I hold frame, and reiterate my position a few more times before going to sleep.

Next day. She's txting that she's still mad, and why am I choosing to not meet her needs. (entitlement check - this is a thin pretty educated white blonde girl, with big tits)

I traveled 2500 miles to see her, and she still isn't happy. After this, I've mostly given up on the idea of a relationship. I still want to get together with her, until we inevitably go up in flames. Next move?

Post: #24

Next move is next. Come on CR, you of all people know better.

Post: #25

(01-11-2014 06:22 PM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  "sorry, but I'm not in the mood to have sex tonight".

I suspect that she was bluffing. She was shit testing you. If you would have went to go "cuddle", you probably would have ended up banging.

Girls do that shit a lot.

She wanted a little imaginary "plausible deniability" in order for you to come over.

She wanted to "frame it" as -- He is just coming over to "cuddle".. You should have allowed her to set her imaginary "frame" and then gone over their and ignored it.

(01-11-2014 06:22 PM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  Next move?

She lives 2500 miles away from you..

She is playing games with you..

Move on with your life

Unless, she is willing to travel to you and fuck.

As far as the rest of your trip..

You have 2 options:

1)- Tell her whatever she wants to hear in order to get in her bedroom. Try to bang her with no concern about your future together. Re-evaluate the situation after you bang her. (Honestly, I bet she is fucking someone else)

2)- Go out and try to fuck other girls

Then, go home and find some new prospects.