Post: #1

Not sure if this has been covered, but its something that at this stage in my life I have not gotten over. Dealing with family and friends who are just playing haters and talk shit.

The kind of family I have really judges people on the basis of their work, the kind of money they are making, if they went to college, etc...

Hate mostly comes from cousins and uncles who ask questions to my dad like "So, what is your son doing? How come all hes doing is traveling and doesn't have a 'real' job?" and then they conclude with "You know, my kids do this and this"

Another question they asked was about my major in college and why I was doing it. The decision to teach English abroad was just a killer and I was bombarded with questions like "WHY?" or "YOU'RE GOING TO CHINA? FOR WHAT?" Then they talk around my back saying things like "oh hes useless, he doesn't have a real job" or things of that nature.

See I'm the kind of person who if they talk shit too I snap. I tried being humble over the years and just take their "criticism" lightly and tried not too care much. But being humble only made things worse and they continued to run me over which eventually got worse and worse to the point I can't take it anymore and feel like Im going to snap any minute. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and many people are looking forward to see their family. Not me. Im going to Mexico in December and when the question of "What are you doing for Christmas pops up" Im probably going to snap.

sorry if there's any typos, I kind of rushed this Thread. How do you deal with hater family members and friends and how do you deal with criticisms when you get criticized of your life decisions. I need some advice. I don't want to do anything stupid. Thanks in advance.

Post: #2

Agree and amplify always.

Family: Why are you going to Thailand?
Me: Drink and fuck.

Family: Why are you going to the DR?
Me: Drink and fuck.

Family: Why are you going to Europe?
Me: Drink and fuck.

Family: Why are you going to Iraq?
Me: Make money so I can go somewhere to drink and fuck.


No one asks me why anymore.

Post: #3

(11-27-2013 11:41 AM)MidWest Wrote:  sorry if there's any typos, I kind of rushed this Thread. How do you deal with hater family members and friends and how do you deal with criticisms when you get criticized of your life decisions. I need some advice. I don't want to do anything stupid. Thanks in advance.

I put distance between them and myself. I don't need the hate and the family members who thought they knew better are coming to realize they don't and stopped with their bullshit.

If they won't stop when I tell them, they don't get to be part of my life.

Or, just tell them you're gay.

Post: #4

Distance, distance, distance. If they want to spend time with you eventually they'll learn to keep their bullshit to themselves.

Post: #5

Get rid of them. Why keep people like that in your life?

Post: #6

If you can't master dealing with your mom how are you going to master dealing with women.

Ali is right. You want to be the guy that has all the other men in the family chuckling at the Tgiving table.

Post: #7

The thing is that Im still new to game. Im still a newbie and my family has always known me as a beta. Really my whole family is beta. I've only been running game for a year and I keep my results to myself since I don't like bragging, especially to my cousins.

If I respond with "Drink and Fuck" like Ali suggested, which is great by the way, my hating cousins will probably respond with "Yeah cause you can't get laid here, that's why you're going to Mexico"

Maybe distancing myself completely from them is the way to go.

Post: #8

(11-27-2013 01:05 PM)MidWest Wrote:  If I respond with "Drink and Fuck" like Ali suggested, which is great by the way, my hating cousins will probably respond with "Yeah cause you can't get laid here, that's why you're going to Mexico"

Just remind them that most of the whores here are fat.

Post: #9

(11-27-2013 01:05 PM)MidWest Wrote:  The thing is that Im still new to game. Im still a newbie and my family has always known me as a beta. Really my whole family is beta. I've only been running game for a year and I keep my results to myself since I don't like bragging, especially to my cousins.

If I respond with "Drink and Fuck" like Ali suggested, which is great by the way, my hating cousins will probably respond with "Yeah cause you can't get laid here, that's why you're going to Mexico"

Maybe distancing myself completely from them is the way to go.

If they are important to you, make sure to communicate before hand. Putting distance between you should be a last resort type of thing.

Don't worry, many people have this problem. The main idea is you respecting yourself enough to know you are responsible for your own happiness. If someone doesn't bring value to your life, you need to cut them.

It's harder with family but I still believe it is a necessity in some situations.

There are a lot of emotional vampires out there that feed on your unhappiness. I don't understand it, but it seems to make them feel better.

Maybe it's because their life sucks.

I have a lot of friends that never been out of the country. They are pretty dumb when it comes to the world. You can't reason with those people. The more you travel the less you will have in common with people from home. Just go on with your own life and post lot's of pictures to feed their jealousy. haha

One of the biggest takeaways you can learn from this is not allowing people to get under your skin. You will be better with women that way.

Post: #10

My family learned if they bust my balls I'll literally disappear into a warzone and they'll spend weeks of sleepness nights wondering if I'm alive. Problem solved.

All my friends come from the forum or deployments. All like-minded men who won't judge me for living my life. Birds of a feather.

Post: #11

Sack them. People seek to hold others back from being a success so they don't have to face their own short comings. Get yourself a better crew, make them your family, bring those of your blood to your way of thinking by example. Be unapologetically masculine at all times, this is who you are, if they are going to give you shit for seeking happiness they can fuck right off. As with every problem you will ever face, fight directly, win indirectly. Directly by being openly yourself when around them(no need to over share details, you're a man, not a gossiping old biddy). Win indirectly by actively and passionately seeking your happiness without them.

Post: #12

I made a thread kind of like this last year.

There's no one in your family that'll have your back? I don't see how any young cousins wouldn't think traveling around the globe is cool. Even when most of my family was pissed, all my cousins and nieces talked about wanting to join me.

I think eventually you'll stop caring so much. I look forward to the shitstorm from telling my family I'm gonna be in Bangkok during Christmas. I'll probably leave after dinner to go get drunk with my brother and elmech-uncle in his shop.

Post: #13

If you had a 9 to 5 back home, they would criticize you for not having a life and wasting your best years in an office.

Just don give them the chance.

-What are you doing?
- Things.

-Why are you going to China?
- Because

-Why dont you get a real job?
-Ill think about it.

-You should be more like your cousin.
-Thanks for your advice.

Post: #14

Just give them shit right back dude. Ask them why they want to have the same routine every week until they're 65 so they can buy pointless material name brand shit to help themselves forget that they're gonna be stuck in the same routine until they're 65.

Call them pussies for not having the balls to do what they really want to do and remind them that if they want to up and move somewhere, they can't because they're tied down to a mortgage, a car payment and a bunch of other monthly bills for shit that nobody actually needs.

Post: #15

Haters exist to keep you in top shape. Think of them like resistance in training......


Your job is to avoid, overcome, demolish,......

Post: #16

^ This.

Post: #17

Well my family problem is documented in my ROk post in my Sig.

However I now do exactly what Ali has said above with my extended family when they drop bullshit in my presence or to my parents. Simple, drink, party & fuck.

Post: #18

It's a timely question coming up on Thanksgiving.

My advice is to be that uncle/cousin at the family function who gets the most drunk. Than you won't give a shit about their stupid question! Problem solved.

For a bonus move, peer pressure everyone else to get drunk as well. Then ,they will hopefully stop asking dumbass questions and be cool!

Post: #19

Don't talk to them anymore.

I had a cousin who's gf wanted to tell stuff to my gf. I don't talk to either of them anymore.

Problem solved.

Post: #20

(11-27-2013 11:41 AM)MidWest Wrote:  See I'm the kind of person who if they talk shit too I snap. I tried being humble over the years and just take their "criticism" lightly and tried not too care much. But being humble only made things worse and they continued to run me over which eventually got worse and worse to the point I can't take it anymore and feel like Im going to snap any minute. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and many people are looking forward to see their family. Not me. Im going to Mexico in December and when the question of "What are you doing for Christmas pops up" Im probably going to snap.

Don't go.

I am 100% serious.

My family started giving me grief for moving to California. I didn't go home that Easter. They dropped it.

They learned that I live my life on my terms. I don't live for my parents or friends or cousins. If you want to be in my life, we engage in fellowship as peers. No one is superior or has a right to criticize me and vice versa.

Be a man. It's your life. Own yourself.

Do not go to Thanksgiving. Give no explanation other than, "I have other things to do."

If you do go, you're a pussy. It really is as simple as that.

Post: #21

(11-27-2013 03:38 PM)Only One Man Wrote:  Just give them shit right back dude. Ask them why they want to have the same routine every week until they're 65 so they can buy pointless material name brand shit to help themselves forget that they're gonna be stuck in the same routine until they're 65.

Call them pussies for not having the balls to do what they really want to do and remind them that if they want to up and move somewhere, they can't because they're tied down to a mortgage, a car payment and a bunch of other monthly bills for shit that nobody actually needs.

You're still in their frame, which is based on being toxic and acrimonious.

Shatter the frame.

Have a relationship problem with a girl? Break up with her.

Someone is saying something you don't want to hear? Walk away.

Your boss is an asshole? Quit.

Never enter a frame you don't want to be in.

Many guys have hung out with me. Everyone will tell you the same thing - I am about having a good time. No drama, no bullshit, no fucking around with nonsense.

If someone in my crew is about that bullshit, we just don't hang out again.

Same with my family.

It really is that simple.

Remember something. It's your life. Not theirs. Live it as you see fit.

Post: #22

(11-27-2013 10:43 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

(11-27-2013 11:41 AM)MidWest Wrote:  See I'm the kind of person who if they talk shit too I snap. I tried being humble over the years and just take their "criticism" lightly and tried not too care much. But being humble only made things worse and they continued to run me over which eventually got worse and worse to the point I can't take it anymore and feel like Im going to snap any minute. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and many people are looking forward to see their family. Not me. Im going to Mexico in December and when the question of "What are you doing for Christmas pops up" Im probably going to snap.

Don't go.

I am 100% serious.

My family started giving me grief for moving to California. I didn't go home that Easter. They dropped it.

They learned that I live my life on my terms. I don't live for my parents or friends or cousins. If you want to be in my life, we engage in fellowship as peers. No one is superior or has a right to criticize me and vice versa.

Be a man. It's your life. Own yourself.

Do not go to Thanksgiving. Give no explanation other than, "I have other things to do."

If you do go, you're a pussy. It really is as simple as that.

Yep, don't even call to apologize or let them know you aren't coming. Just don't show up. Turn your phone off.

Next time they'll be glad that you showed up at all.


Alternatively, bring a real whore with you to dinner.

Post: #23

Fuck. I wish I could just next my family. They have very low respect for boundaries but I'm an idiot and worked on other areas of my life other than financial so they use that power over me to be shitty. However, the shiftiness of them is still a hell of a lot better than my job prospects so I deal.