Post: #1

Got out of an 8 month LTR earlier this summer in July. Was talking to someone about it today(my mom..), about why it was over, because, moms ask about stuff like that. One of the things that bugged me was that she always talked about other men. When we first got together she talked on and on about her exes. At dinners she would make comments about men she saw, like, 'oh he looks like...' or 'he looks like a lifetime bartender', just always some comment. She saw Chris Noth in a restaurant when we had dinner with her parents, and her mom told her to calm the fuck down because she was afraid how it would look to me(in spanish), it was pretty embarrassing for her and I. We tried to get back to together after I broke up with her several times, and she would say 'her friends man does this' , or stuff like 'when I was with... we would dream together'. Always felt compared to.

Needless to say, I dumped her for good. High quality women except for these and other traits, like intensity and the need for marriage/kids. I realize now that when I got in it, I should have run once the red flags started to fall. I chose to over look them, it was the first LTR since I divorced, so I was blinded by new DD titties. Now I know exactly what I want; no marriage, no kids, no relationships. Just fun.

Post: #2

Those DD titties sure must have been great.
But yeah, good thing for dumping her.

Just imagine, if she was comparing you to other boyfriends and her friends' boyfriends at the time.....what would she do once y'all got married and had kids?

Although it would've been fun to troll her and compare her to other girls to make her hamster spin.

Post: #3

(10-05-2013 06:50 PM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  Although it would've been fun to troll her and compare her to other girls to make her hamster spin.

I did that a lot, gaslighting. The best troll though was to not return a call or text back, absolutely drove her insane.

Post: #4

Women are stupid, this was just a ploy by her to seem desired and also to make you jealous. She was just trying to control you.

This is part of the anatomy of women's power. Once you understand what's she's doing and why you realize you hold the power.

Post: #5

(10-05-2013 07:22 PM)Fisto Wrote:  Women are stupid, this was just a ploy by her to seem desired and also to make you jealous. She was just trying to control you.

This is part of the anatomy of women's power. Once you understand what's she's doing and why you realize you hold the power.

Yeah, I saw it as that, it was really juvenile and high school shit. I was blown away by the 32 year old, sexy, worldly, educated, executive woman, playing the most ridiculous immature games I haven't seen since high school.

Post: #6

Did you ever try asking her kindly to refrain from talking about other guys or not comparing you to other guys?

Post: #7

(10-05-2013 07:56 PM)Samseau Wrote:  Did you ever try asking her kindly to refrain from talking about other guys or not comparing you to other guys?

yeah several times, she wouldnt stop.

Post: #8

(10-05-2013 07:57 PM)puckman Wrote:  

(10-05-2013 07:56 PM)Samseau Wrote:  Did you ever try asking her kindly to refrain from talking about other guys or not comparing you to other guys?

yeah several times, she wouldnt stop.

Then you say, "Look, I really like you, but if you don't stop with the guy bullshit I'm going to have to call it quits with you."

Post: #9

(10-05-2013 08:21 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(10-05-2013 07:57 PM)puckman Wrote:  

(10-05-2013 07:56 PM)Samseau Wrote:  Did you ever try asking her kindly to refrain from talking about other guys or not comparing you to other guys?

yeah several times, she wouldnt stop.

Then you say, "Look, I really like you, but if you don't stop with the guy bullshit I'm going to have to call it quits with you."

I did, then I called it quits.

Post: #10

Women like that are cum dumpsters at best. Pump and dump that hoe.

Post: #11

(10-05-2013 08:23 PM)puckman Wrote:  

(10-05-2013 08:21 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(10-05-2013 07:57 PM)puckman Wrote:  

(10-05-2013 07:56 PM)Samseau Wrote:  Did you ever try asking her kindly to refrain from talking about other guys or not comparing you to other guys?

yeah several times, she wouldnt stop.

Then you say, "Look, I really like you, but if you don't stop with the guy bullshit I'm going to have to call it quits with you."

I did, then I called it quits.

Post: #12

It seems like talking about other guys in front of you is one of the most common shit tests women will throw at a guy. Like Fisto said it's an attempt to make her look desired by other men, and to make you jealous, but I also think sometimes they may even take it to a different level.

Tariq Nasheed one of my favorite game advisors often says women will test a man to see how much shit they can get away with in an attempt to see how much they can control you. It starts off with subtle things like talking about other guys, or comparing you to ex-boyfriends, and if you don't check it straight out the gate, they will slowly and continually increase the shit tests and levels of disrespect.

If you don't check your women and she continues to get away with these shit tests and mind games, she will start to lose respect for you, and once that occurs your relationship is doomed. Ideally you find a chick who does have that attitude, doesn't really shit test or play games, because constantly dueling and doing battle with one can be a major headache.

I think the OP made the right move here, I had an ex who really played a lot of mind games and really shit tested me hard. At the time I thought the right move was to act aloof and like I didn't give a fuck, but I think she could tell that I really did, and over time she engaged in what I call "subtle psychological sabotage". The proper move would have been to checked her straight out the gate, and then fired her ass when she continued to pull that bullshit.

Post: #13

(10-05-2013 09:09 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  At the time I thought the right move was to act aloof and like I didn't give a fuck, but I think she could tell that I really did, and over time she engaged in what I call "subtle psychological sabotage".

Thanks man, this was my story too. It effected me in a lot of ways; loss of sleep, gained weight, quit training, started smoking, etc. In the end no part of a relationship is worth the bs.

Post: #14

(10-05-2013 09:25 PM)puckman Wrote:  

(10-05-2013 09:09 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  At the time I thought the right move was to act aloof and like I didn't give a fuck, but I think she could tell that I really did, and over time she engaged in what I call "subtle psychological sabotage".

Thanks man, this was my story too. It effected me in a lot of ways; loss of sleep, gained weight, quit training, started smoking, etc. In the end no part of a relationship is worth the bs.

When you're dealing with latinas be prepared to get to critical mass quick and call them out. If you don't they won't respect you.

I'm talking about the second she does something you don't like.

Post: #15

(10-05-2013 09:33 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  When you're dealing with latinas be prepared to get to critical mass quick and call them out. If you don't they won't respect you.

I'm talking about the second she does something you don't like.

first time... you can say I am a little worn out from that.

Post: #16

(10-05-2013 09:44 PM)puckman Wrote:  

(10-05-2013 09:33 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  When you're dealing with latinas be prepared to get to critical mass quick and call them out. If you don't they won't respect you.

I'm talking about the second she does something you don't like.

first time... you can say I am a little worn out from that.

First time what?

Post: #17

Spot on Ognorcal.

While in the early stages when its fairly subdued its a good idea to just plain out straight ignore that shit and change topics at the earliest.

But if and when it starts snowballing out of control you do need to check her. If you do it properly and she respects you enough and shes not too fucked up in the head, she'll tone it down for a while, then start again.

You tell her once, you tell her twice, if she still persists, then you just straight out start disrespecting her, bec that's what she's doing. Just walk out when she's talking, or call someone and fix up a meeting while she's talking, or if you are at a public place where you have nothing to lose, just try to pawn her off to every guy who comes close.

Anyway, good job, OP.
Your ex had some sort of baggage, maybe? Or some sort of vast divide in between you (She's really rich, you're poor, or she's really pretty and your really ugly, or she's got a lot of friends and you're a loner? ... anything to suggest she was "settling" for you?).

Post: #18

(10-05-2013 10:01 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  First time what?

being in a relationship with one

Post: #19

(10-05-2013 10:07 PM)Sharkie Wrote:  Your ex had some sort of baggage, maybe? Or some sort of vast divide in between you (She's really rich, you're poor, or she's really pretty and your really ugly, or she's got a lot of friends and you're a loner? ... anything to suggest she was "settling" for you?).

I am divorced with child and was 6 years older. Was always made to feel it was a 'settling' scenario.

Post: #20

I really don't think you did anything wrong.

Some women insist on destroying their relationships. That's the type of girl who has three divorces under her belt by the age of 40.

This type of woman is low quality in the sense that there are no long term prospects with her. She will step out on you the second you have to take a business trip away from home. Start and argument on the phone with you to justify it.

You got as good a deal from her as any guy could get and moved on. I think you were successful. Could you have handled the shit tests better and dragged things out for another year? Probably, but would that have resulted in a better outcome? I really doubt it.

Post: #21

how do you call them out without looking petty/butthurt/creating drama? or is the trick to do it in a way that creates drama?

Post: #22

(10-06-2013 06:14 AM)bonkers Wrote:  how do you call them out without looking petty/butthurt/creating drama? or is the trick to do it in a way that creates drama?

"Are you done?" *leaves without letting her finish and ignores calls and texts for a while*

Post: #23

We all make those mistakes. We see the red flags, yet ignore them for a number of rationales. You did the right thing.

"DD titties" always alluring, but did they stay in the right place once let out? Just curious

Post: #24

(10-06-2013 06:14 AM)bonkers Wrote:  how do you call them out without looking petty/butthurt/creating drama? or is the trick to do it in a way that creates drama?

I have always tried to minimize the butthurt look with women, my own belief is that once they see they have gotten the best of you their respect for you plummets faster than anything else you could possibly do to them. Some women you cant help it with, and I am not 100% with this. Lately though it makes me want to get what I need even more. My approach has always been with anyone; when they treat you like shit, you disappear completely, and dont say anything. Let them wonder why you are gone. No sense in getting mad, save your energy. Where I messed up here was letting it go for too long, even though I called it out dozens of times, I didnt fully follow my advice above. The first few times it happened, I should have walked and been silent. Her looks and sexuality probably contributed too..

Post: #25

(10-06-2013 12:56 PM)puckman Wrote:  

(10-06-2013 06:14 AM)bonkers Wrote:  how do you call them out without looking petty/butthurt/creating drama? or is the trick to do it in a way that creates drama?

I have always tried to minimize the butthurt look with women, my own belief is that once they see they have gotten the best of you their respect for you plummets faster than anything else you could possibly do to them. Some women you cant help it with, and I am not 100% with this. Lately though it makes me want to get what I need even more. My approach has always been with anyone; when they treat you like shit, you disappear completely, and dont say anything. Let them wonder why you are gone. No sense in getting mad, save your energy. Where I messed up here was letting it go for too long, even though I called it out dozens of times, I didnt fully follow my advice above. The first few times it happened, I should have walked and been silent. Her looks and sexuality probably contributed too..

The ultimate game for this scenario now that I think of it would be to have a replacement of equal quality lined up. Play there emotions off each other by going back and forth.

I think we are too stuck in this serial monogamy mindset on this thread. You really need to have a backup plan as a guy.