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Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
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SheWantsTheD Offline
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Post: #1
Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
Had a young (20 or 21) 8 in my office. Was doing normal business, and it was early and I was kind of tired so no thought of anything but business was on my mind. In the middle of talking business she turned and looked out the window and said "it's gloomy and rainy out blah blah." Then she says, "on my way down here - I stayed at my bf's last night in XX (she made sure to mention that he lived in a town an hour away) - it was raining really hard." Now, normally I wouldn't think twice about this but it stood out really, really bad and kind of caught me off guard with her body language and the way she said it. Then we start talking business again and I say, "yeah, you're a little behind" and she starts kidding around with me saying, "I"m not behind! blah blah" I give her the paperwork and she starts smiling and says some BS on her way out while giggling.


Now, I'm new to game but that conversation stuck out like a sore thumb. I have days where I meet with up to a couple dozen people and I can tell when something is off. Not to sound like a completely clueless blue-pill distributor, but when a chick randomly, completely unprovoked like that mentions her bf and where he lives, is there something to it? Could a chick be DHVing when she does such a thing? I wasn't hitting on her, but it sure sounded odd. I have actually met with her before and she acted completely normal the first time, but this time was really different.

I dunno, maybe it meant nothing, but I think Roosh says it can be an ASD to say you have a BF, but I wasn't hitting on her at all?


Any thoughts?
09-19-2013 03:14 PM
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Virtus Offline
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RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
Either your subcoms were flirty or she was thinking "oh look at that. He's not bad, id fuck him.. wait. I have a bf plus we work together..." .. anyhow, whatever it is 1) flirt, be friendly, but dont shit where you eat 2) she has friends, don't shit where you eat 3) in 6 mnts to a year she or you may work elsewhere and if a girl likes you she will still unless you make pass n get shot down or youre in a situation where she offers it and you dont take it

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(This post was last modified: 09-19-2013 03:49 PM by Virtus.)
09-19-2013 03:48 PM
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Virtus Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
Oh yeah. Completely forgot: Don't shit where you eat

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09-19-2013 03:52 PM
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SheWantsTheD Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
(09-19-2013 03:48 PM)calihunter Wrote:  Either your subcoms were flirty or she was thinking "oh look at that. He's not bad, id fuck him.. wait. I have a bf plus we work together..." .. anyhow, whatever it is 1) flirt, be friendly, but dont shit where you eat 2) she has friends, don't shit where you eat 3) in 6 mnts to a year she or you may work elsewhere and if a girl likes you she will still unless you make pass n get shot down or youre in a situation where she offers it and you dont take it

Thanks for the advice.

One caveat: she didn't work with me, she was a customer. I guess I should have mentioned that.


So, you think she was doing a little flirting? Man, I am still really bad at recognizing this kind of stuff. I am trying my best to turn my logic off when thinking about women, but it's so hard to not think that way. I get into this cycle where I think logically about a woman's behavior, I'm 100% off base, it doesn't make sense, I get pissed and either ignore her or just tell her off, then I move on.


I guess I just need to study more? Any recommendations on how to understand a woman's psyche? I've read all of the regulars:

Bang
Mystery Method
Game
No More Mr Nice Guy
A regular reader of Heartiste's blog
Etc
(This post was last modified: 09-23-2013 11:39 AM by SheWantsTheD.)
09-23-2013 11:37 AM
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Sumanguru Offline
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RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
I think, unless you were inadvertantly sending out some flirty signals (which it really doesn't sound like in this case), the idea that she thought you were cute and was reminding HERSELF that she has a bf is a good one.
09-23-2013 02:00 PM
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Videl Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
Girls do these kind of things all the time. For example I was sitting at table with girls. The girl next to me who I was talking to opened her phone on standby so that I could see her wallpaper on her phone and lay it in front of me. It was a picture of her and her boyfriend. Then looked into my eyes. I looked into her eyes. It was weird.
(This post was last modified: 09-23-2013 02:09 PM by Videl.)
09-23-2013 02:09 PM
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ThePrinceOfDixie Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
"Oh you have a boyfriend? thats cool he can keep you company when i'm not around"

"Look Mama, no hands..."
09-23-2013 03:05 PM
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SheWantsTheD Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
(09-23-2013 02:00 PM)Sumanguru Wrote:  I think, unless you were inadvertantly sending out some flirty signals (which it really doesn't sound like in this case), the idea that she thought you were cute and was reminding HERSELF that she has a bf is a good one.

Yeah, it was just weird that it was even mentioned. Like I said it stuck out so bad that I knew it wasn't just a random mention. By the time I got my head on straight and really realized what was going on, she was walking out. Will be on top of my game for her (hopefully) next visit.

(09-23-2013 02:09 PM)Videl Wrote:  Girls do these kind of things all the time. For example I was sitting at table with girls. The girl next to me who I was talking to opened her phone on standby so that I could see her wallpaper on her phone and lay it in front of me. It was a picture of her and her boyfriend. Then looked into my eyes. I looked into her eyes. It was weird.

Yeah, I don't get it. Was she trying to DHV? She's thinking like a woman and women like men who have women or are pre-selected, so could showing off her wallpaper mean she's showing she's been pre-selected and is something special? Hopefully Roosh, calihunter, or others will chime in.
(This post was last modified: 09-23-2013 03:56 PM by SheWantsTheD.)
09-23-2013 03:53 PM
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Sumanguru Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
(09-23-2013 02:09 PM)Videl Wrote:  Girls do these kind of things all the time. For example I was sitting at table with girls. The girl next to me who I was talking to opened her phone on standby so that I could see her wallpaper on her phone and lay it in front of me. It was a picture of her and her boyfriend. Then looked into my eyes. I looked into her eyes. It was weird.

I feel like in this situation, the mostly likeliest answer is that she was telling you she had a bf therefore you should stop talking to her/ hitting on her. [Not saying you were hitting on her, I don't know, but even if you weren't a lot of women would assume a friendly guy IS hitting on them].
09-23-2013 04:24 PM
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soup Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
This is a funny title..

Why would you ever provoke the mention of a boyfriend?
09-23-2013 04:27 PM
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SheWantsTheD Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
In other words, I didn't say, "Do you have a boyfriend?" And I didn't mention having a gf so the subject wasn't brought up.
(This post was last modified: 09-23-2013 07:36 PM by SheWantsTheD.)
09-23-2013 07:36 PM
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Christian McQueen Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
@OP:

I wrote about this on ROK recently. Start testing your Instincts. IF you think she's being flirty then be flirty back.

Once again it comes back to Frame. When you have strong Frame with a girl then you're leading the interaction.

Next time a girl mentions a boyfriend randomly drop one of these:

-That's great sweetie. You don't seem too happy with him to be honest. (Wink)

This causes her to prove that she IS happy or gives her an opportunity to AGREE with you, I.e. the out she needs to flirt with you. I've had girls drop this on me and a lot of times it's a shit test to see A. Will I give a fuck? And B. Can I game her into rationalizing her cheating on him?

When in doubt: flirt, escalate.
09-23-2013 09:04 PM
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RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
(09-23-2013 09:04 PM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  @OP:

I wrote about this on ROK recently. Start testing your Instincts. IF you think she's being flirty then be flirty back.

Once again it comes back to Frame. When you have strong Frame with a girl then you're leading the interaction.

Next time a girl mentions a boyfriend randomly drop one of these:

-That's great sweetie. You don't seem too happy with him to be honest. (Wink)

This causes her to prove that she IS happy or gives her an opportunity to AGREE with you, I.e. the out she needs to flirt with you. I've had girls drop this on me and a lot of times it's a shit test to see A. Will I give a fuck? And B. Can I game her into rationalizing her cheating on him?

When in doubt: flirt, escalate.

Agreed. Game has to be win/win for you. You never want to be on the defense, always be moving the ball forward.

That said, a lot of girls mention boyfriends and it doesn't make sense to just say she doesn't seem to happy with him all the time. What if you just met her on the street? Don't you need to have a reason to say that (like seeing her interact with him, or if she's flirting with you)?

She'll laugh at you and say "oh I am" or something to that effect.

I could be wrong, but wouldn't it be better to just act completely un-affected as if you didn't hear her say it?
(This post was last modified: 09-23-2013 09:23 PM by soup.)
09-23-2013 09:20 PM
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RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
(09-23-2013 09:04 PM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  @OP:

I wrote about this on ROK recently. Start testing your Instincts. IF you think she's being flirty then be flirty back.

Once again it comes back to Frame. When you have strong Frame with a girl then you're leading the interaction.

Next time a girl mentions a boyfriend randomly drop one of these:

-That's great sweetie. You don't seem too happy with him to be honest. (Wink)

This causes her to prove that she IS happy or gives her an opportunity to AGREE with you, I.e. the out she needs to flirt with you. I've had girls drop this on me and a lot of times it's a shit test to see A. Will I give a fuck? And B. Can I game her into rationalizing her cheating on him?

When in doubt: flirt, escalate.

Agreed. Game has to be win/win for you. You never want to be on the defense, always be moving the ball forward.

That said, a lot of girls mention boyfriends and it doesn't make sense to just say she doesn't seem to happy with him all the time. What if you just met her on the street?

She'll laugh at you and say "oh I am" or something to that effect.
09-23-2013 09:23 PM
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RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
@Soup:

I'll clarify better.

By throwing out a line like that it forces her to make a 'decision':

A. Defend her boyfriend
B. Agree but subtly (by inserting a question into her mind of her 'happiness', she will automatically run through a mental checklist of any slight thing her bf irks her with or has 'fucked up' about. Girls constantly look to upgrade. Fact.)

Here's where it's a win-win for the player: If she responds with "Oh I am", respond with, "Perfect. I'm sure we'll all get along".

It's humorous and light, but asserts you as not giving a fuck whether she does or not. Once again, her responses don't dictate whether you go on the defensive; you're always causing her to conform to your 'will', albeit in a sneaky way.

I really got to break this shit down soon. It's hard to get it out through words without showing the subtleties.
09-23-2013 09:28 PM
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soup Offline
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RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
(09-23-2013 09:28 PM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  @Soup:

I'll clarify better.

By throwing out a line like that it forces her to make a 'decision':

A. Defend her boyfriend
B. Agree but subtly (by inserting a question into her mind of her 'happiness', she will automatically run through a mental checklist of any slight thing her bf irks her with or has 'fucked up' about. Girls constantly look to upgrade. Fact.)

Here's where it's a win-win for the player: If she responds with "Oh I am", respond with, "Perfect. I'm sure we'll all get along".

It's humorous and light, but asserts you as not giving a fuck whether she does or not. Once again, her responses don't dictate whether you go on the defensive; you're always causing her to conform to your 'will', albeit in a sneaky way.

I really got to break this shit down soon. It's hard to get it out through words without showing the subtleties.


Yo is that a typo in you ROK article? 1958 or 1985? It's like Back to the Future.

Yes- I agree that this is an awesome line to say in the right context, just wasn't sure if it would be good in every situation.

The concept is great regardless.

Everything you say should be win/win for you. Not only can you not give a hot girl any holes in your game, but you have to be moving things forward.

There has to be momentum, no treading water. Game isn't static. Everything is black and white. What ever is happening is either hurting or helping you.

Sometimes you might pause and it seems like nothing's happening, but silence can be very powerful.
(This post was last modified: 09-23-2013 09:37 PM by soup.)
09-23-2013 09:35 PM
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RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
^^^Yes, situation specific.

I would assert that one basis for my success in ONS's is a black/white attitude. You're either in or you're not.

Cats would be surprised at what assertiveness and being dominate as a motherfucker can do for you in terms of quick notches.
09-23-2013 09:39 PM
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RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
Dude I think you're over-thinking it. It means the rain reminded her that it was raining hard at her boyfriend's.
09-23-2013 11:57 PM
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Post: #19
RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
For the average guy who's just getting started out, and has a notch count in the low tens or whatever, I say heed the girl when she says she has a bf.

Not to single them out, but soup and mcqueen are relative pro's. Most guys aren't there yet and should avoid hard cases. When a girl says she has a bf it's an obstacle that can be more easily overcome by approaching another girl who doesn't raise that objection, for the typical guy.
09-24-2013 12:04 AM
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RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
@Soup:

It's neither; I was being sarcastic. I graduated college in 2007.
09-24-2013 12:40 AM
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SheWantsTheD Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
Thanks McQueen and Soup. Will adjust for next similar situation.

Must give less fvcks, be more assertive, and pass said sh!t test as most mentions of BF are intentional.

Joystick - I would agree except in this context it was really out of place. And she was giggling and had a playful demeanor. It stuck out and by the time I realized what was going on she walked out.
09-24-2013 05:17 PM
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RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
(09-19-2013 03:14 PM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  Had a young (20 or 21) 8 in my office. Was doing normal business, and it was early and I was kind of tired so no thought of anything but business was on my mind. In the middle of talking business she turned and looked out the window and said "it's gloomy and rainy out blah blah." Then she says, "on my way down here - I stayed at my bf's last night in XX (she made sure to mention that he lived in a town an hour away) - it was raining really hard." Now, normally I wouldn't think twice about this but it stood out really, really bad and kind of caught me off guard with her body language and the way she said it. Then we start talking business again and I say, "yeah, you're a little behind" and she starts kidding around with me saying, "I"m not behind! blah blah" I give her the paperwork and she starts smiling and says some BS on her way out while giggling.


Now, I'm new to game but that conversation stuck out like a sore thumb. I have days where I meet with up to a couple dozen people and I can tell when something is off. Not to sound like a completely clueless blue-pill distributor, but when a chick randomly, completely unprovoked like that mentions her bf and where he lives, is there something to it? Could a chick be DHVing when she does such a thing? I wasn't hitting on her, but it sure sounded odd. I have actually met with her before and she acted completely normal the first time, but this time was really different.

I dunno, maybe it meant nothing, but I think Roosh says it can be an ASD to say you have a BF, but I wasn't hitting on her at all?


Any thoughts?


I forgot who said this on the forum.

chick - "....my boyfriend"
player - "do you love him"
chick -
Player "you hesitated"
chick -
Player *goes back to previous discussion or changes subject*

WIA
09-25-2013 09:44 PM
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RE: Unprovoked mention of a boyfriend?
(09-25-2013 09:44 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  I forgot who said this on the forum.

chick - "....my boyfriend"
player - "do you love him"
chick -
Player "you hesitated"
chick -
Player *goes back to previous discussion or changes subject*

WIA

This is pure gold. Damn.
09-25-2013 09:46 PM
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