Post: #1151

Ignoring all the snapchats being sent to me from girls doing the usual kissy face, camera going upwards angle that most of their shots always are.

Post: #1152

Changed two windshields in under a hour.

Grabbed 6’er ,came home and hooked up my speaker system and faded out my upstairs neighbors drumming .

Post: #1153

(05-19-2018 03:49 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  

(05-19-2018 03:40 PM)Kona Wrote:  Is the bag in the back seat filled with the ransom money?

Aloha!

That is obviously a Marlboro duffel bag.



Buy 1000 packs of Marlboros, tear off the logos from the packs, send them in, and you get a free duffel bag.

Do you know how manly you have to be to smoke that many Marlboros?

It's a Marlboro duffel bag. Who the hell cares what's in it.

Maybe he paid the ransom in Marlboro miles. That's a real man.

Aloha!

Post: #1154

This is a derailment, but for some reason Marlboro is giving away freebies lately, good ones. I've gotten a Zippo lighter and a 4,000 mAH solar battery pack for free this year so far.





All you have to do is sign up for an account on their website, and re-use it to apply for the freebies. They do send coupons to you in the mail but I just toss em since I don't smoke.

Post: #1155

Only marlboro thing i want is the vintage indy car snapback .

Post: #1156

Can you still ride the Smokers Train?



Or did they all have a heart attack and can't really go anywhere?

Aloha!

Post: #1157

(05-19-2018 02:27 PM)spokepoker Wrote:  Did you buy them used?

Picked 'em up from the junkyard, saw them when I was searing for an obscure component that none of the autoshops could find for me.

Once I replace the struts and one of the rear brake calipers, she'll be back in tip-top shape; then it's time for a new windshield and a paint job, she's seen a lot of weathering over the past few years.

Post: #1158

I just pulled up at a gas station and the person directly adjacent to me was a cop (I fucking hate cops).

I was a little buzzed, so I decided to fuck with him. I walked up an asked about a current traffic-flow situation we are having here. There are 3-4 policemen at every traffic signal for no good reason, except that people will flip out and start trouble because they are frustrated and that's just not gonna happen here. Do that in LA or Miami, no one gives a shit. Do that here and you are GOING TO JAIL.

May have been the coolest guy I've met, but was definitely the coolest cop I ever met.

I asked about the current situation, of which he was a part of the deterrence , and he explained that there was a cataclysmic effect of one bridge being down, then the traffic lights failed--this caused a huge problem. So they were out in force.

I introduced myself and shook his hand. He gripped it like his life depended on it, so I retorted, "That's a solid handshake. Been gripping too many snowflakes lately, I guess."
He laughed.

He continued to explain the traffic situation, sounded legit. Then I thought, let's take this to another level...

I said, "Cool. Care to talk shop?"
He said, "I gotta minute. What's on your mind?"

I said, "As a career criminal and observing the overwhelming police presence at each stoplight--I'm thinking it's a good time to rob a bank."
He doubled over in laughter (confirming that I was correct).

He asked, "Sounds good and I see your point, but where you gonna go with all these police at every stoplight?"

I said, "Home." Fucking silence.
Then he said, "I would discourage you from doing that. But, it's not a bad plan."

We laughed and I shook his hand again giving him my full name. He said nice to meet you. Then told me that response times in my neighborhood had gone from 7 minutes to 37 minutes. I couldn't resist... So I said, "then i should plunder my neighborhood?" He laughed again. So I asked, "I guess if we were all Libertarian, we'd violently defend our property and police would be unnecessary?"
Then he told me something that will stick forever. He said: People think that the function of the police is crime prevention and that's not true. The function of the police is social control and the protection of property.

Yowza.

Then he asked, "Is that an open beer in your console" (my door was open).
I said, "Well, as a matter of fact it is."
He replied, "I'd hide that if I were you. You know? In case you get stopped by Po-Po."

Best fucking cop EVER.

Post: #1159

Drove through three storms so dark they turned midday into midnight, all within an hour.

Post: #1160

^^^ I hate to break it to you, but he's going to stop you the next time he sees you. Thus, at least in Hawaii, get a second highly absorbent floor mat for the passenger side.

When you are stopped, just pour your beer out onto the mat. But the bottle, or can if you are me, under the seat.

I've used a little trick recently with the cops. When I see the lights behind me, I mediately text or call this little stripper I've been banging. I tell her to text me a picture if herself naked, and then a message that says "get here quick, I need you to fuck me" or something similar. When they ask why im spweding, I show them the texts. This works on both male and female cops.

Praise Allah for technology.

Aloha!

Post: #1161

I am always the first one who cut off the conversation with my friend with benefits

Post: #1162

I don't have these problems. It was just something that happened.

Crazy turn of events that lead me to that place--namely, don't fucking approach a cop when you are driving with open beers in the car.


I've taken your advice, though. Sounds solid!

Post: #1163

I started macking with this bitch named Sadie. You know she used to be my homeboy's lady. It was 80 degrees when I tell her "BITCH, PLEASE!" You can continue to tease, but you'll gets none of deez.

Post: #1164

I always flirt my way into a woman via video call. And they always cower in smiles.

Post: #1165

I got a blowjob in traffic in my lifted 2500HD from my woman while enjoying a 25 ounce Busch Beer, while switching between Davis Aurini on the YouTube chopping a pig leg with a sword, and "we'll put a boot in your ass" by Toby Keith.

If I didn't cry after ejuculating it would have been much more manly.

Aloha!

Post: #1166

Roosh made me take down my avatar. Something about it being "not safe for work" or something.

Here's the problem: I'm retired, so I don't work. I get it. I guess it was offensive, but it's only been like that for 6 years.

I'm gonna go cry in the corner now.

At least he was cool about it.

Post: #1167

I thought me quoting Gin & Juice would've gotten a bigger laugh than that.

Post: #1168

Well, a woman stretching her ass and pussy for an avatar is an... interesting choice.

Post: #1169

(05-31-2018 12:46 AM)sterling_archer Wrote:  Well, a woman stretching her ass and pussy for an avatar is an... interesting choice.

Got something better in mind? I'm open for suggestions.

Post: #1170

(05-31-2018 12:51 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

(05-31-2018 12:46 AM)sterling_archer Wrote:  Well, a woman stretching her ass and pussy for an avatar is an... interesting choice.

Got something better in mind? I'm open for suggestions.

How about


or

Post: #1171

(05-31-2018 12:54 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(05-31-2018 12:51 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

(05-31-2018 12:46 AM)sterling_archer Wrote:  Well, a woman stretching her ass and pussy for an avatar is an... interesting choice.

Got something better in mind? I'm open for suggestions.

How about


or

Are you attempting to suggest something Asian about me that I don't really understand?

Post: #1172

(05-31-2018 12:46 AM)sterling_archer Wrote:  Well, a woman stretching her ass and pussy for an avatar is an... interesting choice.

It was okay in the beginning... Not sure what changed.

Post: #1173

There... I'm now sweet and sour sauce instead of a girl fucking a skeleton.

Post: #1174

(05-31-2018 12:58 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

(05-31-2018 12:54 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(05-31-2018 12:51 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

(05-31-2018 12:46 AM)sterling_archer Wrote:  Well, a woman stretching her ass and pussy for an avatar is an... interesting choice.

Got something better in mind? I'm open for suggestions.

How about


or

Are you attempting to suggest something Asian about me that I don't really understand?

Not at all

Dulce / Acido = Sweet N Sour

Es que yo soy Cubano y asi lo entendi

Post: #1175

(05-31-2018 01:00 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

(05-31-2018 12:46 AM)sterling_archer Wrote:  Well, a woman stretching her ass and pussy for an avatar is an... interesting choice.

It was okay in the beginning... Not sure what changed.

Maybe her ass got fat after all these years and Roosh was telling you you can do better