Post: #26

I am vindicated for letting the friendship go (and effectively pushing it away by telling him to man up), but a guy like this is deeply fucking instructive for all of us.

As I said before, I don't even want to get 1% of the way to his misery.

I did not have a perfect journey to the red pill (far from it) but I take heart from knowing that, despite those bumpy beginnings, I was never a hopeless romantic.

I am sure my ex-friend had warning sign after warning sign after warning sign after warning sign internally that he chose to neglect.

The snowball starts in your hand and then builds downhill.

Just because we won't ever get this bad doesn't we can't realize the risks of losing even momentary frame.

(11-06-2017 11:43 AM)Jetset Wrote:  Eh, she has explicitly told him to leave her alone, and he's posting this stuff in public for everyone to see?

Something's wrong. It might fall short of a psychotic disorder, but that level of rumination, for that length of time, isn't normal.

...

He's heading for trouble.

I doubt he has contacted her much, if at all. I didn't know the girl well, yet if he was contacting her with these sorts of statements, I daresay she would have already involved the cops.

When I told him to grow up and move on (4-5 years ago), he was limiting himself to crying over her away from her.

The post is accessible, but given he prattles on about it so much, I imagine his social media friend list would be something of an echo chamber.

Post: #27

I've started to wonder how I would handle a situation like this.

Take your fellow like Tom, there. I often wonder, is his so called love (or desire) stronger than his ego? Is the act of winning the girl itself more important than doing it his way?

Let's say you told Tom "this creature of your burning and unmitigated desire, who you pledge your very life and limb to... If I could instruct you in the ways to win her, would you follow my guidance no matter the cost?"

Would he see the trap you'd set for his narrative or would he agree? And if he agreed, what would happen when you told him that step one was to go to the gym with you right that very minute? To put down that burger he'd literally just bought?

"I would do anything to be with her". His very words, perhaps. What would happen if you asked him "is your love such a shallow self centred fantasy that you literally cannot put down that burger and walk away from the table if that's what it takes to be with her?"

Writing grand, soppy missives is an act of emotional masturbation. Could he be convinced to deadlift until his arms tuned to jello? If not, what would happen when you replied to his post with "Tom talks about being willing to drown for Sara but he's not even willing to get in shape."

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Post: #28

DG, after reading your ex-friends soppy post, he seems beyond mentally fucked up.

Are you at all worried that he would harm someone or himself?

Sounds like he needs therapy.

Post: #29

(11-07-2017 07:44 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  I've started to wonder how I would handle a situation like this.

Take your fellow like Tom, there. I often wonder, is his so called love (or desire) stronger than his ego? Is the act of winning the girl itself more important than doing it his way?

Let's say you told Tom "this creature of your burning and unmitigated desire, who you pledge your very life and limb to... If I could instruct you in the ways to win her, would you follow my guidance no matter the cost?"

Would he see the trap you'd set for his narrative or would he agree? And if he agreed, what would happen when you told him that step one was to go to the gym with you right that very minute? To put down that burger he'd literally just bought?

"I would do anything to be with her". His very words, perhaps. What would happen if you asked him "is your love such a shallow self centred fantasy that you literally cannot put down that burger and walk away from the table if that's what it takes to be with her?"

Writing grand, soppy missives is an act of emotional masturbation. Could he be convinced to deadlift until his arms tuned to jello? If not, what would happen when you replied to his post with "Tom talks about being willing to drown for Sara but he's not even willing to get in shape."

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

That is an excellent point, well made LDN.
Self flagellating posts like this Tom made are emotional masturbation and about as useful. As you say, the real answer is in the actions.
Is he prepared to get in shape and to go and work his ass off to make money and then come back years late the new and improved himself to claim his prize?
Of course by which time he won't even want her any more.

Post: #30

(11-07-2017 11:32 AM)Remington Wrote:  Are you at all worried that he would harm someone or himself?

He and this girl were done and dusted in 2010 at the latest. I actually think it was 2008-9. Regardless, it was ages ago.

I remember we had a brief chat about it New Year's Eve 2010 and he seemed fine/recovering. I only remember the chat because it was New Year's and it was great to me that he was no longer obsessed about her. Well, I got that one wrong.

I doubt he will hurt anyone. If anything, in the future he may hurt himself, but there's nothing I can do about that. We are no longer friends and have not been for years. I also doubt he and the girl ever got back together.

This is a good seven years' worth of pining for her. I don't feel any schadenfreude for his misery yet I just had to push him away. His self-pity was mind-blowing and he didn't want to help himself.

I feel sorry for him and inasmuch as I value my ability to influence people at times, even if he and I were friends still I couldn't help him. He's a brick wall and when you add to that our differences in style with women and life, the friendship was doomed.

Post: #31

(11-07-2017 07:44 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  I've started to wonder how I would handle a situation like this.

Take your fellow like Tom, there. I often wonder, is his so called love (or desire) stronger than his ego? Is the act of winning the girl itself more important than doing it his way?

Let's say you told Tom "this creature of your burning and unmitigated desire, who you pledge your very life and limb to... If I could instruct you in the ways to win her, would you follow my guidance no matter the cost?"

Would he see the trap you'd set for his narrative or would he agree? And if he agreed, what would happen when you told him that step one was to go to the gym with you right that very minute? To put down that burger he'd literally just bought?

"I would do anything to be with her". His very words, perhaps. What would happen if you asked him "is your love such a shallow self centred fantasy that you literally cannot put down that burger and walk away from the table if that's what it takes to be with her?"

Writing grand, soppy missives is an act of emotional masturbation. Could he be convinced to deadlift until his arms tuned to jello? If not, what would happen when you replied to his post with "Tom talks about being willing to drown for Sara but he's not even willing to get in shape."

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Definitely a case of "I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas". Although she must have him pegged as double secret beta by now.

Even if he did one day get the smash it would be anti climactic, almost inevitably. There would be no heavenly choir. His must have beaten one off to her literally hundreds if not thousands of times.

I think a lot of it is an excuse to not have to face up to real life and actually ask a girl out (or whatever kidz do nowadays). Fantasising about this girl stops him from having to deal with actual relationships and people. Pure comfort zone. Most people with mental problems don't want to leave their comfort zone.

Post: #32

What really makes me cringe is his attempt to be verbose and flowery with his writing.

Post: #33

Some thoughts:

Guys like him are almost ALWAYS beyond any help we can give them.

So what's the solution?

Focus on ourselves
- Lift
- Approach
- Game
- Fuck
- Work
- Travel
- LIVE LIFE

To an extent we have to document the existence of these kinds of guys like my ex-friend, report on it, debate it, and express our utter opposition to it. But when the sun is either up or down, we have our own lives to lead.

Like it or not, if you changed our parents, modulated some of our pivotal life experiences, or made our social environment just a wee bit different, many of us might be in his position, too.

Post: #34

(11-07-2017 07:44 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  I've started to wonder how I would handle a situation like this.

Take your fellow like Tom, there. I often wonder, is his so called love (or desire) stronger than his ego? Is the act of winning the girl itself more important than doing it his way?

Let's say you told Tom "this creature of your burning and unmitigated desire, who you pledge your very life and limb to... If I could instruct you in the ways to win her, would you follow my guidance no matter the cost?"

Would he see the trap you'd set for his narrative or would he agree? And if he agreed, what would happen when you told him that step one was to go to the gym with you right that very minute? To put down that burger he'd literally just bought?

"I would do anything to be with her". His very words, perhaps. What would happen if you asked him "is your love such a shallow self centred fantasy that you literally cannot put down that burger and walk away from the table if that's what it takes to be with her?"

Writing grand, soppy missives is an act of emotional masturbation. Could he be convinced to deadlift until his arms tuned to jello? If not, what would happen when you replied to his post with "Tom talks about being willing to drown for Sara but he's not even willing to get in shape."

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The only way you might get his attention is to show him a series pictures or video of you with your hog in Sara's holes then say "Ok Gertrude...Wanna know how you can too insert your Longfellow ? "

One way or the other you wont need to worry about your friendship with William Sadsackspeare

Post: #35

(11-14-2017 06:37 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  The only way you might get his attention is to show him a series pictures or video of you with your hog in Sara's holes then say "Ok Gertrude...Wanna know how you can too insert your Longfellow ? "

Just so you know, I shan't be volunteering for this job. Let's just say that my ex-friend's idyllic view of her is, erm, flawed.

Post: #36

Christ almighty some dudes can't let go of hynas, like bitches who hold grudges against other bitches.