Post: #26

100% do both at the same time. I know of several guys that are pretty fat and get girls. Maybe not everytime they go out but they do get results. They are fun natured people though, charming, and masculine, and they make an effort with their hair and clothes. The one guy doesn't even care about losing weight - he likes food, alcohol and women, and just does what he enjoys.

Post: #27

(07-11-2017 08:05 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I advocate for getting into shape before beginning the hunt.

The rejections you get for being fat will damage your self confidence in the long term, and affect your game start when you get in shape.

That's just a waste of time. Getting into shape isn't gonna happen overnight. Why wait a year? You could be getting better.

I think some people here don't really realize what it's like losing weight. You don't spend 24 hours in the gym. Even if you do cardio every day, which a lot of people advise against, that's maybe an hour a day? Lots of time to at least do an approach each day. What do you have to lose?

Indirect approaches are fine for these people. You're not putting your dick and balls on display when you're asking for directions. Yeah, you'll get rejected. Better to learn that now.

Speaking from experience, the rejections I faced did not damage my self-confidence, because I was expecting a lot worse.

And I think a lot of people have a weird idea of what people look like when they are 40-50 kg overweight. I'm far from looking like Michael Moore. Women don't run away from me. Trust me, I got this.

(07-12-2017 01:11 AM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  

(07-11-2017 11:21 PM)StackGsMan Wrote:  Let me speak as someone who knows exactly about the scenario the OP posted about. I haven't read the whole thread but skimmed it a bit so hopefully I am not just repeating something another person said.

With all due respect, Stacks, you don't know about the situation OP is posting about. Your top weight is similar, but you were an athlete/bodybuilder who worked in a gym and would, pre-weightgain, be approached by women who wanted you to take them home and fuck them, presumably because you were in such good shape.

You're not going to have the problems that a guy who's been on one date in his life will have.

EDIT: I'm sure I read earlier OP was saying he'd only ever been on one date in his life. I can't find it now. Maybe I imagined it, in which case, I'm sorry OP.

Yeah, you are not mistaken, it was post number 17

(07-11-2017 05:29 PM)Thinking Out Loud Wrote:  

(07-11-2017 05:22 PM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  Well, good for you for trying to better yourself, as long as you don't burn out when you fail to see success.

Success can come in many forms. I do not expect to get laid anytime soon. First, a date would be nice. I only went on one date in my life and I completely messed it up. Actually in hindsight, there were tons of clues she wanted to fuck me, but I was just not going for it, so a second date never happened.

Mentally, I don't expect to get laid before I have lost some more weight, but at the same time, I try not to think of my weight, because it will only decrease my chances even further if I keep thinking "I could never get her".

It's true, but I have to say here that, I haven't really ever tried to get girls on dates either. In school I was the guy who was always in love with girls and way to shy to speak to them, and then later, in my twenties, it was like I had given up on women and didn't think any good woman would ever date me anyway, so I never tried. Again, self-fulfilling prophecy.

Post: #28

(07-11-2017 05:13 PM)Thinking Out Loud Wrote:  

(07-11-2017 05:03 PM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  OP, I appreciate you taking the time to write this post but it isn't very clear.

Have you approached women while 40-50kg overweight? 50kg is 110 pounds. How did it go for you?

I started my log here.

/thread-63739.html

There's a link to my post in the introduction thread.

In short, I've only been doing this for 6 weeks now, and I've only really stepped it up in the last 3 weeks. So I haven't gotten laid yet, nor have I been on a date. The only number I got where the girl texted me back, I completely messed up.

Yes I have done all these approaches while being overweight. I'm at 125 kg, which is at least 45-50 kg overweight according to my doctor. When I started approaching I was even 10 kg heavier than that. Now I did not achieve anything miraculous, I know I don't look like an Adonis. I'm bald, I wear glasses, I'm fat and short.

But that's exactly why it surprises me that someone that is about as overweight as I am would often not even get girls to engage with him for longer than 10 seconds. Because I have had a lot of longer conversations in the last weeks. I've had bad results. But I've had really great conversations, too. And the worst results I had was girls walking away without saying a word after I told them they look nice, which is probably normal. But if someone gets these kind of bad results, it can't just be the weight.

Dude - you are overweight, you are short, wear glasses. If you start with telling girls that they are pretty, then I assume your Game is also severely lacking or set in the year 2005 - though even then you had Ross Jeffries who would have told you that this is a bad opener.

Were you once slim, in shape or had a six-pack? I ask because you would know the difference. It is gargantuan.

No offense - you are not only lacking terms of body-fat, but also
+ height (can be overcome to a degree - some even wear height-improving Tom Cruise/Brad Pitt shoes ),
+ glasses (have to be super-cool or ditch them)
+ bald - shave and sun-tan works for most men - some may get better results with own-hair transplants
+ Game - no you look pretty - you better learn the basics before learning Game on live-subjects - this is not 2005 - there are a ton of literature out there - Indirect Daygame Daybang by Roosh - Nick Krauser for Direct Daygame

When you instantly convey sexual interest (by comment of being pretty), but are also too low in SMV for the girl and she finds you highly unattractive visually, then you get an instant rejection.

So yes - you are right - it is not just your fat - it is everything else on top of it.

The very least you can do aside from losing weight is also digging into the basics of Game.

Edit: Use the time you need to get in shape to study Game, do some casual indirect approaches to tip your toes in the water.
"I am lost. Can you help me?" or "Do you know where I can find the nearest pet shop?" is more likely to elicit some innocent first response than straight Direct sexual-interest Daygame.

Post: #29

(07-12-2017 02:46 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  Dude - you are overweight, you are short, wear glasses. If you start with telling girls that they are pretty, then I assume your Game is also severely lacking or set in the year 2005 - though even then you had Ross Jeffries who would have told you that this is a bad opener.

Were you once slim, in shape or had a six-pack? I ask because you would know the difference. It is gargantuan.

No offense - you are not only lacking terms of body-fat, but also
+ height (can be overcome to a degree - some even wear height-improving Tom Cruise/Brad Pitt shoes ),
+ glasses (have to be super-cool or ditch them)
+ bald - shave and sun-tan works for most men - some may get better results with own-hair transplants
+ Game - no you look pretty - you better learn the basics before learning Game on live-subjects - this is not 2005 - there are a ton of literature out there - Indirect Daygame Daybang by Roosh - Nick Krauser for Direct Daygame

When you instantly convey sexual interest (by comment of being pretty), but are also too low in SMV for the girl and she finds you highly unattractive visually, then you get an instant rejection.

So yes - you are right - it is not just your fat - it is everything else on top of it.

The very least you can do aside from losing weight is also digging into the basics of Game.

Edit: Use the time you need to get in shape to study Game, do some casual indirect approaches to tip your toes in the water.
"I am lost. Can you help me?" or "Do you know where I can find the nearest pet shop?" is more likely to elicit some innocent first response than straight Direct sexual-interest Daygame.

The vast majority of my approaches so far were indirect, but I had to at least test direct approaches. Indirect approaches at this point feel a bit pussy-like. There's no approach anxiety. I'll definitely experiment with direct approaches while at the same time trying to go indirect with as many girls as I can and wanna talk to. And mixing direct with indirect. I know I'll be rejected a lot, but being rejected is a good thing.

No I've never been in shape, really. Best I looked was 4 years ago, being 99 kilos and having some muscles.

Post: #30

When did "Direct" game end up as telling a girl she's "pretty?" Did I miss something?

I think you have the idea of direct game wrong. While "Direct" it's also supposed to be "subtle" and no that does not make you a pussy.

I may be going out on a limb here but it seems like all you're trying to do is appease your ego and make yourself feel better. I've been there and done that so I know it when I see it.

I think you need to go back and read Bang.

Post: #31

(07-12-2017 06:32 AM)Cobra Wrote:  When did "Direct" game end up as telling a girl she's "pretty?" Did I miss something?

I think you have the idea of direct game wrong. While "Direct" it's also supposed to be "subtle" and no that does not make you a pussy.

I may be going out on a limb here but it seems like all you're trying to do is appease your ego and make yourself feel better. I've been there and done that so I know it when I see it.

I think you need to go back and read Bang.

Telling a girl she's pretty is not direct?
I've read Bang, and Bang isn't about daygame.
I've read Day Bang too, and there's a lot of good stuff in there. But that doesn't mean direct game doesn't have its advantages.

Post: #32

It sounds tryhard.

Post: #33

(07-12-2017 06:45 AM)Cobra Wrote:  It sounds tryhard.

I don't know about that. I'd usually stay away from words like pretty and beautiful and go more with cool or nice, or cute. But it is the best way of making your intentions known. What's the point of spending 10-15 minutes talking to a girl about pets, making nice guy conversation, when the girl goes out of the conversation thinking all you want is friendship?

Post: #34

At the end of the day, the way a man looks is a direct reflection of his self-esteem. Women pick up on this; especially the ones worth having.

Self-esteem is not just something that you have or don't have. It's something that your earn. Through work and the achievements from that work. This includes the work you put into your body. Again, women will pick up on this. And the better ones will then want you. Settling for an inferior female only drives home the subconscious message that you are also inferior. And that is a downward spiral.

Keep in mind that as you get older it becomes much more difficult to remain in shape. Not only physically, but mentally. Your body is key to EVERYTHING. Put the time and effort into putting it back into shape and keeping it that way. You'll not only have the best choice of women, but you'll have the money to match and the years and stamina to enjoy both.

Post: #35

(07-12-2017 07:15 AM)EEB Wrote:  At the end of the day, the way a man looks is a direct reflection of his self-esteem. Women pick up on this; especially the ones worth having.

Self-esteem is not just something that you have or don't have. It's something that your earn. Through work and the achievements from that work. This includes the work you put into your body. Again, women will pick up on this. And the better ones will then want you. Settling for an inferior female only drives home the subconscious message that you are also inferior. And that is a downward spiral.

Keep in mind that as you get older it becomes much more difficult to remain in shape. Not only physically, but mentally. Your body is key to EVERYTHING. Put the time and effort into putting it back into shape and keeping it that way. You'll not only have the best choice of women, but you'll have the money to match and the years and stamina to enjoy both.

This thread has never been about whether people should work out or not. That has never been the question. Too many people post here without either having read the OP or having understood it. I'll explain it again, but after that, no more.

I made this thread in response to a question on Roosh's Q and A. This question came from a man who is 40kg overweight, and who has very little success with approaching women. He's been doing approaches "on and off" for about 3 years, and most of his conversations don't even go beyond the 10 second mark. The question this man had was "should I wait with doing game until I have lost weight". Roosh's answer was "focus on losing weight". That in my opinion was a bad answer. Of course he should continue to lose weight, but losing weight is not something that takes a lot of time to justify not approaching. One approach a day can take 5 minutes. And there is no way that if you open indirectly, that most girls will walk away after 10 seconds. Waiting with approaching until you've lost weight is just a waste of time, and most likely, if you're fat, and you're dropping approaching until you've lost enough weight, you are only doing it because you want to make it easier on yourself and you are afraid of approaching. I am more overweight than this dude, and I don't have girls running away after 10 seconds. There are tons of benefits to approaching, even if the chances of getting laid are very slim. Hell think about all the calories you're gonna burn in a 2-hour-daygame-session. The thing is, if you feel like you are too fat right now to even approach girls indirectly and make some nice conversation with them, you are so afraid of embarrassment, that game is probably not for you. And you will be in for a rude awakening, once you have lost the weight, and you are still shit at game because you didn't approach. Girls aren't all of a sudden gonna line up to suck your cock just because you lost a couple of pounds. That rejection will still be there. So get used to it now rather than in a year or two.

Think about it like this. If you were planning on moving to Japan in 3 years, would you say "I'm gonna start learning Japanese once I'm there"? That doesn't seem clever, does it.

That's really all I can say to this, I don't think any more repeating of what I already said will make any difference.

Post: #36

50 kg is about 110lb.

You seriously have to lose the body fat!

I would advise going on a low carbohydrate / ketogenic diet as soon as possible. You could lose the weight this way as soon as within one year.

Get contact lenses, shave your bald head.

Otherwise in your current state you will only be able to bang fat 3-5 rated women.

Self improvement and Red pill is what RVF is about. Improve yourself to improve your results!!

Post: #37

OP is at least 300+ pounds if you read between those lines. His lack of directness about your issue shows his confidence is too low for gaming.

Unless he is 6'6" and looks like an offensive lineman, he is not doing himself any favors.

OP head over to the Fitness section of the forum and go to the bodybuilding.com forums. The time you waste trying to approach women, is better spent researching how to reforge your body into something they can admire from a distance. Then the rest of the time, hit the gym and invest in yourself before you even bother wasting time trying to invest it in females that only take from men, never give.

You cannot take care of any woman (physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually) until you take care of yourself first.

Post: #38

(07-12-2017 07:55 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:  OP is at least 300+ pounds if you read between those lines. His lack of directness about your issue shows his confidence is too low for gaming.

Unless he is 6'6" and looks like an offensive lineman, he is not doing himself any favors.

OP head over to the Fitness section of the forum and go to the bodybuilding.com forums. The time you waste trying to approach women, is better spent researching how to reforge your body into something they can admire from a distance. Then the rest of the time, hit the gym and invest in yourself before you even bother wasting time trying to invest it in females that only take from men, never give.

You cannot take care of any woman (physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually) until you take care of yourself first.

Read between the lines? I directly stated I'm 125 kg. That's 275 pounds. I lost 20 kg over the last 5 months. I work out regularly and plan to be down to 100 kg by the end of the year and down to 75-80 kg sometime during next year.

I know some people will not read threads or posts and just post their ignorant comments, but if this is so common here my time is maybe better spent elsewhere.

Post: #39

"I know some people will not read threads or posts and just post their ignorant comments, but if this is so common here my time is maybe better spent elsewhere."

If you want some help from the incredibly knowledgable guys on this forum you would be well advised not to react in such an abrasive manner if the answer didn't go in the direction you were hoping for.

In particular your statement, quoted above is a good example of what not to post on RVF if you genuinely want to get help here with your game.

Traveller Kai was spot on with his comments that you need to sort your weight problems out before you will get anywhere with attractive girls. I've seen guys literally have their lives turned around thanks to the golden advice from this forum. They came here with a humble attitude, willing to learn. That's what you need to do if you want help and advice from RVF. Oh, and if you havent started yet, sorting your diet out has to be number one priority.

Post: #40

(07-12-2017 10:06 AM)Guitarman Wrote:  "I know some people will not read threads or posts and just post their ignorant comments, but if this is so common here my time is maybe better spent elsewhere."

If you want some help from the incredibly knowledgable guys on this forum you would be well advised not to react in such an abrasive manner if the answer didn't go in the direction you were hoping for.

In particular your statement, quoted above is a good example of what not to post on RVF if you genuinely want to get help here with your game.

This post just proves that you haven't read the thread. I'm not asking for help in this thread. This would be clear had you at least taken the time to read the OP. Your comment was simply ignorant, and you haven't even taken the time in between comments to catch up with this thread in order to get rid of your ignorance. Not only did you not offer any help, your comment added on to the already unnecessary comments in this thread from people that haven't even taken the time to read the thread or at least the OP. There are maybe 1-2 people in this thread that know what this thread is even about.

Now admit that all you did was read the title and then jump in and post some shit that nobody needed. At least you'd be honest.

Post: #41

I'm going to be blunt here don't even bother approaching women until you drop all the pounds you need to drop. All you'll be doing is contributing to the massive thirst in modern Western society. Unless you're approaching fellow whales.

Make small talk and make friendly conversation to get your verbal game up with strangers. You need to first make your interactions look smooth and normal. A robot pretending to be human doesn't make him any less of a robot.


Lastly stop taking offense to everything everyone's saying. We're not going to read a long TL;DR about your life story. All you needed to say was "I'm a fat guy and want to get laid. Losing weight dropped from X to Y. Please help." Simple as that now stop bawwwing at people legitimately trying to help you already or you'll join the ranks of those before you.

These special snowflake I'm different teach me magic game words threads are a dime a dozen. And we know that's the real reason you started this thread.

Post: #42

(07-12-2017 10:30 AM)Comte De St. Germain Wrote:  All you needed to say was "I'm a fat guy and want to get laid. Losing weight dropped from X to Y. Please help.

Again, someone who hasn't even read the thread. This thread is not me asking for help or advice, it is me offering advice to other fat guys.

When I got into Pick-up, it was largely Roosh's videos and then later Bang and Daybang that inspired me. There was a lot of positivity in it, that inspired me to improve myself, instead of being a MGTOW Monk that hates women. I thought I would find the same kind of spirit here, but instead most people here are only being negative, unconstructive and lack proper reading skills.

It's unfortunate, but this place and the people here are just stealing my energy, and I need that for other things.

Post: #43

Go away then Troll before you are banned.

You need a LOT of help and you're being unbelievably arrogant in "offering advice to other fat guys". Show us some success first.

That's why I'm calling "Troll" on this one.

Post: #44

(07-12-2017 10:18 AM)Thinking Out Loud Wrote:  

(07-12-2017 10:06 AM)Guitarman Wrote:  "I know some people will not read threads or posts and just post their ignorant comments, but if this is so common here my time is maybe better spent elsewhere."

If you want some help from the incredibly knowledgable guys on this forum you would be well advised not to react in such an abrasive manner if the answer didn't go in the direction you were hoping for.

In particular your statement, quoted above is a good example of what not to post on RVF if you genuinely want to get help here with your game.

This post just proves that you haven't read the thread. I'm not asking for help in this thread. This would be clear had you at least taken the time to read the OP. Your comment was simply ignorant, and you haven't even taken the time in between comments to catch up with this thread in order to get rid of your ignorance. Not only did you not offer any help, your comment added on to the already unnecessary comments in this thread from people that haven't even taken the time to read the thread or at least the OP. There are maybe 1-2 people in this thread that know what this thread is even about.

Now admit that all you did was read the title and then jump in and post some shit that nobody needed. At least you'd be honest.

Brace yourself Guys, The Meltdown is coming...

Post: #45

Also anyone thinking women would be into fat guys without social status and/or money are living in the same la la land that fat feminists and other crazed SJWs live in.

Being fat is like having the same handicap as being a midget. So unless you have the charisma money and status like say Peter Dinklage you aren't getting anywhere.

Post: #46

(07-12-2017 10:35 AM)Thinking Out Loud Wrote:  

(07-12-2017 10:30 AM)Comte De St. Germain Wrote:  All you needed to say was "I'm a fat guy and want to get laid. Losing weight dropped from X to Y. Please help.

Again, someone who hasn't even read the thread. This thread is not me asking for help or advice, it is me offering advice to other fat guys.

When I got into Pick-up, it was largely Roosh's videos and then later Bang and Daybang that inspired me. There was a lot of positivity in it, that inspired me to improve myself, instead of being a MGTOW Monk that hates women. I thought I would find the same kind of spirit here, but instead most people here are only being negative, unconstructive and lack proper reading skills.

It's unfortunate, but this place and the people here are just stealing my energy, and I need that for other things.

Zelcorpion pointed it out already but it's apparent through how you write, how you look, and your admittance that you just started and that you have no game. You're simply projecting by trying to give advice when you're really the one that needs it.

Being "formerly" MGTOW is the nail in the coffin for any argument you could have made.

So I implore you to stop approaching lose the pounds and gain some social skills.

Post: #47

(07-12-2017 08:03 AM)Thinking Out Loud Wrote:  I directly stated I'm 125 kg. That's 275 pounds. I lost 20 kg over the last 5 months. I work out regularly and plan to be down to 100 kg by the end of the year and down to 75-80 kg sometime during next year.

Good for you OP. Keep doing what you're doing. I wouldn't wait and start practicing on everyone, short,fat,ugly,hot, sexy.

Just like in racing to be good, it's all about track time. It doesn't matter if you start out with a 1.5L VW, you will still gain experience and perfect your technique over time so that when you do get in shape, you will be that much more of a force to be reckoned with.

Not only work on your body but spread it out into mind and soul as well. Also pickup some new skills like playing guitar or something.

I know this somewhat ugly dude but his photography skills are top notch and he goes out with good looking gals that appreciate his photography(from instagram) which initially get's him in the door before his game takes over.

Post: #48

Now we're at the point where OP is telling off people whose notch count is literally infinitely higher than his (since it's fairly clear he's a virgin if he's been on one date that didn't go well).

That's unfortunate, because I do wish him the best, but that's an awful, awful attitude to have.

Post: #49

Comte if you are going to hate on somebody at least do them the courtesy of reading all the posts in the thread, especially if its only a 2 page thread.

Now I am not taking sides and I am not saying who is right or wrong but its a matter of forum etiquette and courtesy to at least properly read the thread (especially when its a short thread) before you criticize.

You admitted to not reading the whole opening post.

If you cannot be bothered to properly read stuff on a short thread (obviously different when its a 15 page thread) then you should not bother posting. Now I admit I have previously made the mistake previously of not properly reading a thread and hence posting uninformed comments and we all do it sometimes but we have to try and reduce this behavior.

I noticed a lot of successful guys on Rooshv come down hard on newbies without even properly reading the thread. I've seen it too many times to count.

Imagine what Rooshv what look like if everyone half-assed on reading before posting?

I am not hating on you and you have obviously added a lot of value to the forum as shown by your rep points and post count. All I am saying is that in your case as someone who has had a lot of success in life you have to be extra careful of not allowing your ego to get over-inflated.

I think sometimes high value forum members scare newbies away by coming down on them like a ton of bricks rather than making comments in a measured and constructive way which is not overly offensive or overly blunt. People are more likely to take your advice. Obviously when people are going through a tough period in their life they are likely to be extra sensitive and lacking in confidence, let's keep that in mind. Tough love can be overdone and its not the right approach in every situation.

Post: #50

I read the whole post, have been interacting with OP since yesterday, and I agree 100% with every word Comte wrote.