Post: #21251

(02-26-2017 09:11 PM)Paracelsus Wrote:  Q: Why do they call it PMS?
A: Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

I like it.

Here's my go to antifemale joke:

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

They're ugly and they stink.

Aloha!

Post: #21252

(01-18-2017 12:39 AM)Thrill Jackson Wrote:  I can't sleep for shit tonight. I don't know if its because I pumped about life (new job making roughly 10k+ a year, new killer workout, games improving, being more productive) or that I got some type of problem.I wacked off, drank water, ate food, sipped some whiskey... Nothings working bro!!!

After this week I started to stop going out to "buckle down" and study for the CPA.But man. I haven't had a solid week of studying yet because of the complete lack of ethusiam I had w/o game


I just got to do it. No more excuses. I'm going out once a week on Saturdays. Period. Every week I have stopped going out to focus on studying this year I have been damn near swimming in misery. I can't keep being a 24/7 workaholic. Its killing me inside. I spent damn near my whole college career like this and I can't tolerate it anymore. Its time to start approaching again. Its time get to get clicking on all cylinders again and ENJOYING MY LIFE!!

Post: #21253

(02-26-2017 07:41 PM)Kona Wrote:  

(02-26-2017 04:09 PM)spokepoker Wrote:  I dunno, I just stick to the easy stuff, 6's and 8's. Every time I tried to do fancy shit like hardways I lost more than I made from those. For each new shooter, I bet big on 6 right after the line is turned on, then take it off and just let 6 bucks sit there.
So, yesterday I put $360 on the six, then pulled it after it won, I think the return was 400 something. after that I just dicked around, lost maybe $100 on another table, I was just burnt out after the big win, so cashed out and left while I could.

I see.

Leaving while ahead is the hard part. Maybe try other games?

Aloha!

Took home $745 today (started with $35, added $200 from yesterday's winnings, left with $1k in pocket). I got tired so I put $500 on a 6, won, then put $88 on the 6 again and lost that, then left.

I don't know how to play any other games, I was thinking of doing a "class" on blackjack, but I played the VR zombie shooting game instead, that was really fun.

Post: #21254

(02-26-2017 09:24 PM)Kona Wrote:  

(02-26-2017 09:11 PM)Paracelsus Wrote:  Q: Why do they call it PMS?
A: Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

I like it.

Here's my go to antifemale joke:

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

They're ugly and they stink.

Aloha!

My favorite:

"She said try to look at it from a woman's point of view so I looked out the kitchen window"

Post: #21255

I'm feeling high on life today, man. Hope everyone else is!

Post: #21256

Happened to read a review of the yearly Patrice O'Neal benefit show:

http://theinterrobang.com/fifth-annual-p...fit-recap/


I am glad they do this show because it reminds me of Patrice O'Neal, and I can go and watch a video of his or listen to his show.

This year, there was something special. A new bit from Patrice from beyond the grave:

Quote:Most of the comics didn’t even mention Patrice, but Leslie Jones did. She recounted a time when she was complaining to him about guys she hooked up with who treated her badly afterwards and she said to him something to the effect of, “just wait till I’m a big star. I’ll show them, when they wanna come running back to me,” and Patrice just said something like, “Naah, they’ll just say ‘I once fucked that crazy chick Leslie Jones.’” Leslie did a lot of screaming during her act, on a decibel level comparable to what Sam Kinison used to do, occasionally just yelling out the word “Fuck!” I hadn’t seen her do that before.

Now that is girl thinking vs. guy thinking in a nutshell.

Post: #21257

WOW, scientists just developed a metal-foam hybrid that stops 30-06 armor piercing rounds. Could also be used for radiation shielding, space exploration applications and heat shielding. Amazing stuff!

http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2017/02/23/t...-dust.html

Post: #21258

(02-27-2017 05:08 PM)DamienCasanova Wrote:  WOW, scientists just developed a metal-foam hybrid that stops 30-06 armor piercing rounds. Could also be used for radiation shielding, space exploration applications and heat shielding. Amazing stuff!

http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2017/02/23/t...-dust.html

Suddenly I'm having this idea of making a dr doom style armor...

Post: #21259

(02-26-2017 11:49 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(02-26-2017 09:24 PM)Kona Wrote:  

(02-26-2017 09:11 PM)Paracelsus Wrote:  Q: Why do they call it PMS?
A: Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

I like it.

Here's my go to antifemale joke:

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

They're ugly and they stink.

Aloha!

My favorite:

"She said try to look at it from a woman's point of view so I looked out the kitchen window"

This isn't a joke, but it think its funny:

When I was in the Navy I had to do some purchasing. One of the items was "feminine products" and the guy I worked with asked if the meant "white out or something?" He got in some trouble.

This is a joke:

Did you hear about the man who got a ticket for running over the woman?

Driving in the kitchen is illegal.

Aloha!

Post: #21260

(02-27-2017 05:09 PM)El_Gostro Wrote:  

(02-27-2017 05:08 PM)DamienCasanova Wrote:  WOW, scientists just developed a metal-foam hybrid that stops 30-06 armor piercing rounds. Could also be used for radiation shielding, space exploration applications and heat shielding. Amazing stuff!

http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2017/02/23/t...-dust.html

Suddenly I'm having this idea of making a dr doom style armor...

Pretty interesting shit and the applications are endless.

Post: #21261

Why don't women need watches?

There's a clock on the oven

Post: #21262

Mahalo to all of you for your advice and well wishes with regards to my Year of the Rooster Chicken Eradication Project I posted about in this thread.

Some real changes are taking place as we speak.

About a month or so ago, I began gathering supplies to trap the chickens. The plan was to contstruct an indiana jones style trap from a golf net, a genie boom and a spring mechanism engineered by my brother and a guy named Earl that used to work right up the road at Boos Allen and knewn Edward Snowden. We met one evening, looked over our plans and supplies, and drank beer.

Well, the following day the chickens just seemed to vanish. They have not returned. These things have been terrorizing my family and I for years, so it was mind boggling, up until this morning.

As I was leaving for work, I notice a cluster of state of Hawaii official looking trucks. They were parked next to a giant box truck like vehicle with a cage jam packed with chickens where the box should be.

I asked them what was up. It turns out they have placed traps all over the area and are humanely rounding them up, then killing them somewhere else, I'm sure. They are using these corrugated hdpe tubes till d with what looked like bike spokes that lure in the chickens, but they can't escape. It was brilliant.

I don't know, and they didn't either, why the state decided to do this now. The only logical thing I can come up with is that Donald Trump reads this forum.



He must have made some calls. Mahalo Mr President!

Just a side not:

A few lone hens have stumbled through, but no roosters. One day I had an itchy trigger finger when one was in the yard. Since I was trained by the United States Navy to kill, I landed a direct hit right in the eye of one of the hens with a .40 handgun for on a great distance.

Well, the bullet went right through the chicken head and into the tire of the very boom that was brought in to catch the chickens in the first place. Some guy had to come out and fix the tire, which cost me $300 dollars.

I don't trust the government, so we'll see how it goes, but my chicken problem may have been solved.

Aloha!

Post: #21263

Just finished hanging with one of my army vet buddies. He just got back from New Zealand, told me the girls there are a lot more feminine than in the US. Can anyone confirm?

Post: #21264

(02-27-2017 08:44 PM)YoungBlade Wrote:  Just finished hanging with one of my army vet buddies. He just got back from New Zealand, told me the girls there are a lot more feminine than in the US. Can anyone confirm?

I can confirm your mate is lying. Feminine is not a word to be used in the same sentence as kiwi chicks.

Post: #21265

(02-27-2017 05:17 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(02-27-2017 05:09 PM)El_Gostro Wrote:  

(02-27-2017 05:08 PM)DamienCasanova Wrote:  WOW, scientists just developed a metal-foam hybrid that stops 30-06 armor piercing rounds. Could also be used for radiation shielding, space exploration applications and heat shielding. Amazing stuff!

http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2017/02/23/t...-dust.html

Suddenly I'm having this idea of making a dr doom style armor...

Pretty interesting shit and the applications are endless.

Based on the comments apparently I'm not the only one that was perplexed at the immediate stop on footage before the "bullet dust" had cleared.

This looks bullshit. The foam stripped the fragile copper jacket on the bullet and all the other material dispersed appears to me to be the magic metal foam itself. Presumably they don't show the after shot because there's a great big bullet hole in the product.

Fake news, predictably fronting a team led by a female scientist.

Post: #21266

(02-27-2017 05:18 PM)YoungBlade Wrote:  Why don't women need watches?

There's a clock on the oven

Post: #21267

I fucking hate open space kind of offices, no, it doesn't make people more productive, it just make everyone paranoid and miserable while lower productivity.

I wonder who the fuck came up with this shit.

Post: #21268

Oh I missed an easy get tonight. I should have had my business cards with me.

Post: #21269

I've been on a roll lately.

12 to 14 hour days at work, hitting the gym, getting injured at the gym, going out 5 nights a week, 4-6 hours of sleep. I'm burning the candle at both ends.

Hanging out with one girl that's a synchronized swimmer. Former Olympic athlete. From Belarus. 23. Possible wife material.

Met 2 girls, they look like party girls that are just now thinking about settling down, late 20s. Both hot but their hofax report is pretty lengthy I imagine. Been hanging out with one of them. Restaurant industry.

Last night made out with and got into an argument with a lawyer 6 at the bar and I stormed out. I think I paid my tab. Female lawyers have got to be one of, if not THE most loathsome creatures on the planet. Single mother and batshit insane. I was bouncing back and forth with her and her friend, and some guy that I've apparently met who was trying to have a drunken bro session with me. He's a well known guy in the hospitality scene here and very good contact to have, but he was so fucking hammered that every time he went on a tirade he wound up frothing at the mouth and getting spit on me. Pro Trump by the way. 3 of his friends showed up which were all pretty hot wine industry sluts.

This city is highly incestuous.

Post: #21270

(02-27-2017 09:06 PM)king bast Wrote:  

(02-27-2017 08:44 PM)YoungBlade Wrote:  Just finished hanging with one of my army vet buddies. He just got back from New Zealand, told me the girls there are a lot more feminine than in the US. Can anyone confirm?

I can confirm your mate is lying. Feminine is not a word to be used in the same sentence as kiwi chicks.

Perhaps he meant feminist instead of feminine

Post: #21271

(02-28-2017 12:39 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(02-27-2017 09:06 PM)king bast Wrote:  

(02-27-2017 08:44 PM)YoungBlade Wrote:  Just finished hanging with one of my army vet buddies. He just got back from New Zealand, told me the girls there are a lot more feminine than in the US. Can anyone confirm?

I can confirm your mate is lying. Feminine is not a word to be used in the same sentence as kiwi chicks.

Perhaps he meant feminist instead of feminine

Damn shame. He said the girls rarely wore makeup but were naturally pretty, and they had no concept of protesting for imagined rights like the Pussyhat protests.

Post: #21272

Might be of interest to our Canadian forum members:

Quote:What's in your chicken sandwich? DNA test shows Subway sandwiches could contain just 50% chicken

If you're one of many Canadians who opt for chicken sandwiches at your favourite fast food restaurant, you may find the results of a CBC Marketplace investigation into what's in the meat a little hard to swallow.
A DNA analysis of the poultry in several popular grilled chicken sandwiches and wraps found at least one fast food restaurant isn't serving up nearly as much of the key ingredient as people may think.

In the case of two popular Subway sandwiches, the chicken was found to contain only about half chicken DNA.

Will Mahood, a loyal customer who considered Subway chicken sandwiches a lunchtime staple, was alarmed by the findings. To Mahood, messages from fast food companies can make it sound like "you're taking it straight from a farm and it's just a fresh piece of meat."

DNA researcher Matt Harnden at Trent University's Wildlife Forensic DNA Laboratory tested the poultry in six popular chicken sandwiches.
An unadulterated piece of chicken from the store should come in at 100 per cent chicken DNA. Seasoning, marinating or processing meat would bring that number down, so fast food samples seasoned for taste wouldn't be expected to hit that 100 per cent target.

The Peterborough, Ont.-based team tested the meat in:

McDonald's Country Chicken - Grilled
Wendy's Grilled Chicken Sandwich
A&W Chicken Grill Deluxe
Tim Hortons Chipotle Chicken Grilled Wrap
Subway Oven Roasted Chicken Sandwich
Subway Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki (chicken strips)

NOTE: The tests were on the meat samples alone, without sauces or condiments.

In the first round of tests, the lab tested two samples of five of the meat products, and one sample of the Subway strips. From each of those samples, the researchers isolated three smaller samples and tested each of those.
They were all DNA tested and the score was then averaged for each sandwich. Most of the scores were "very close" to 100 per cent chicken DNA, Harnden says.

A&W Chicken Grill Deluxe averaged 89.4 per cent chicken DNA
McDonald's Country Chicken - Grilled averaged 84.9 per cent chicken DNA
Tim Hortons Chipotle Chicken Grilled Wrap averaged 86.5 per cent chicken DNA
Wendy's Grilled Chicken Sandwich averaged 88.5 per cent chicken DNA

Subway's results were such an outlier that the team decided to test them again, biopsying five new oven roasted chicken pieces, and five new orders of chicken strips.

Those results were averaged: the oven roasted chicken scored 53.6 per cent chicken DNA, and the chicken strips were found to have just 42.8 per cent chicken DNA. The majority of the remaining DNA? Soy.
Oops...

"That's misrepresentation," Irena Valenta, a Toronto resident who participated in a Marketplace taste test, said after seeing the test results.

Subway said in a statement that it disagrees with the test results.
"Our recipe calls for one per cent or less of soy protein in our chicken products."
"We will look into this again with our supplier to ensure that the chicken is meeting the high standard we set for all of our menu items and ingredients."

What else is in there?
On the whole, Marketplace's testing revealed that once the ingredients are factored in, the fast food chicken had about a quarter less protein than you would get in its home-cooked equivalent. And overall, the sodium levels were between seven and 10 times what they would be in a piece of unadulterated chicken.

Grilled chicken products are often marketed as the healthy alternative, but consumers may not always know what they are biting into.
Ben Bohrer, a food scientist at the University of Guelph, doesn't know exactly how the chicken products Marketplace tested are made, but he's very familiar with what the fast food industry calls "restructured products".
Restructured products are essentially smaller pieces of meat or ground meat, bound together with other ingredients to make them last longer, taste better and, as Bohrer puts it, "add value" — restaurant speak for cheaper.

The sandwiches tested contain a combined total of about 50 ingredients in the chicken alone, each with an average of 16 ingredients. The ingredients run the gamut from things you would find in your home such as honey and onion powder to industrial ingredients — all of which, Bohrer insists, are safe and government approved for human consumption.

McDonald's, A&W and Wendy's wouldn't break down exactly what ingredients are used in what proportions, citing proprietary information. Tim Hortons had no comment and directed Marketplace to their website.
Nutritionist and registered dietitian Christy Brissette notes that most products in that alphabet soup ingredient list are simply variants on salt or sugar, the latter of which can elevate the carbohydrate level of a chicken breast to well above where it should be: zero per cent.
Before they saw the test results, both Valenta and Mahood said they chose chicken because they thought they were making a healthier choice — "the chicken is supposed to be the healthier type of meat," as Valenta put it.

But Brissette says it's important for consumers to not allow themselves to buy into the "halo" of health around such products.
"People think they're doing themselves a favour and making themselves a healthy choice," she says. "But from a sodium perspective you might as well eat a big portion of poutine."

Post: #21273

Well I was in class today and my fellow students and I got our mid term marks back. I was thinking mine was shit tier but I got 20/20! 100% Big League! Tremendous! I think the standard must have been lowered. Ha! There was a discussion about 'Canadian Values'. I was really tempted to jump in because its to do with a leadership candidate in Canada that wants all new arrivals in the country to be screened for those values. Well I wanted to say that if Canada becomes more Balkanized how will it have any common values? If you have a bunch of vastly different cultures competing for resources and dominance how do you make some kind of set of universal values without impeding on religious rights, identities, etc,etc. It may be difficult to impose values on a non homogeneous culture. The values of say a man from Afghanistan may be vastly different than say a European Christian.

I saw my jam today. That nerdy glasses kind of girls. But seeing the morbidly obese girls in my class today was just bloody depressing. Usually when I'm on campus I'm so focused on what I'm doing that I don't notice people in general. But some cause a revolting feeling. However, there is a girl I see in class on Thursday that I am going to talk to. She introduced herself to me so I'm like.... hey why not give it a shot? We live in the same town which is kind of convenient. Long blondish hair, glasses, good ass and tits.... Imma stop being cowardly and go for it. Wish me luck gentlemen. Have a good rest of the week all.

Post: #21274

(02-28-2017 03:58 PM)Belgrano Wrote:  Might be of interest to our Canadian forum members:

Quote:What's in your chicken sandwich? DNA test shows Subway sandwiches could contain just 50% chicken

If CBC says I should stop eating chicken from fast food joints then my immediate reaction is to start eating more fast food chicken.

But in all seriousness... people are surprised that the food they are eating at Subway isn't healthy? Holy shit -- get some scientists in here to test it, we need answers!!

Post: #21275

Got me a scooter with an awesomely horrible color scheme that no sane person would ever choose, which is probably why it was on sale.If I'm ever stopped for skipping a light I can always say I'm color blind!

Jokes aside:I honestly didn't think they would be so useful for moving around a city.I 've only had it for 4 days and it already looks as if I had it for half a year