Post: #26

I always felt that once I knew of my impending death my world would become very, very small. It would be friends, family, maybe the neighborhood I live in. This is what I feel I've observed in watching others go. Do you feel this has happened to you? We here on RVF have scored many victories politically over the past few months. Do you care anymore... Or is it just the world going on as it always has?

Thank you for sharing your insight with us... in our society it has become taboo to even discuss such matters. It is important for men to speak about such things. I wish you the best.

Post: #27

I would like to request something. Can you put together all of your blog posts into a PDF file?

It would be great if we can preserve knowledge for future generations.

Post: #28

Thanks for sharing the wisdom of your journey.

Why keep working? I would think working would be the last on a long list of priorities to do in limited time left.

Post: #29

(02-02-2017 02:34 PM)PolymathGuru Wrote:  I would like to request something. Can you put together all of your blog posts into a PDF file?

It would be great if we can preserve knowledge for future generations.

I'll be doing a back up of my complete blog and comments into an XML file because that's how WordPress handles the back up process. I know that's a pain because most people don't know shit about XML but at least the text will be out there (without photos, sorry). With almost 600 blog posts and over 13K comments, it would be probably take longer to create all the PDF files than it would take for my liver to fail.

Also, I am recording all the questions being asked and I will be writing an essay that encompasses many, likely not all, answers.

Post: #30

(02-02-2017 05:56 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  Thanks for sharing the wisdom of your journey.

Why keep working? I would think working would be the last on a long list of priorities to do in limited time left.

Health insurance, income, and a very fat life insurance policy run through my company. Also, I need something to distract me from you know, that other thing... my death.

Post: #31

(02-03-2017 08:07 AM)Private Man Wrote:  

(02-02-2017 02:34 PM)PolymathGuru Wrote:  I would like to request something. Can you put together all of your blog posts into a PDF file?

It would be great if we can preserve knowledge for future generations.

I'll be doing a back up of my complete blog and comments into an XML file because that's how WordPress handles the back up process. I know that's a pain because most people don't know shit about XML but at least the text will be out there (without photos, sorry). With almost 600 blog posts and over 13K comments, it would be probably take longer to create all the PDF files than it would take for my liver to fail.

Also, I am recording all the questions being asked and I will be writing an essay that encompasses many, likely not all, answers.

I'll clean it up for you if you want. Turn it into a usable form. You might as well leave your works behind for others. People die but writings can last as long as civilization.

Post: #32

(02-03-2017 08:42 AM)PolymathGuru Wrote:  I'll clean it up for you if you want. Turn it into a usable form. You might as well leave your works behind for others. People die but writings can last as long as civilization.

I'll PM you soon. Thanks for the offer.

Post: #33

Well mahalos for sharing this, and wish you the best in whatever time you have left.

Can I send something in the mail to the pub where the party's gonna be? Just mark it Private Man Party or something similar?

Aloha!

Post: #34

Your calmness and attitude in facing death is admirable. I wish you all the best in your remaining time on this Earth.

I'm curious about two things:

- do you have any regrets in life, and if you do, how do you handle them? I remember hearing, or reading somewhere, that the definition of Hell is to experience regrets and 'what if' thoughts on one's deathbed.

- do you have some general advice for younger men on how to handle life? We all know what Conan says about what's best in life, but I'd very much like to read your thoughts on the matter.

Post: #35

I've admired your blog and it's focus on men's issues for us older gents. You've touched my life and I'm sure the lives of many others in a positive way. What do you do to cope with this knowledge? Are you still riding the motorcycle? God bless man.

Post: #36

(02-03-2017 09:50 PM)Kona Wrote:  Well mahalos for sharing this, and wish you the best in whatever time you have left.

Can I send something in the mail to the pub where the party's gonna be? Just mark it Private Man Party or something similar?

Aloha!

Not a problem at all! Mark it "Andrew's Party", however. That's what they know me as at the venue.

Post: #37

I remember coming across your site and thinking to myself, "That guy's got a lot of confidence for only having one eye!"

Even with death on the horizon, you still have it and that sense of cheerfulness. It's something to behold. I wish you well.

Post: #38

Wow, you were among one of the first bloggers I started reading when I first discovered the Manosphere back in 2011. If it wasn't for guys like you, I'm not sure I would've ever gotten laid.

I can't imagine handling my impending death with such grace and dignity like you're showing. Especially at the still relatively young age of 55. Do you feel like 55 is "old enough" to die? Or do you feel like you're being cut down while still in the prime of life? Would you do anything differently in life if you knew you were only going to make it to 55?

Do people treat you much differently when you tell them you're dying? Are you sick of getting platitudes like "that sucks" or "I'm sorry", or do you enjoy the outpouring of sympathy? Do you have long lost friends coming out of the woodwork to say their final goodbyes?

How does dying affect your love life? Can girls not say no to you out of sympathy? Are you looking for a girl to quickly impregnate as one last chance of propagating your genetic legacy? Does sex become more raw and primal with the knowledge you won't be able to enjoy it much longer? Or is sex one of the furthest things from your mind now?

What's your diet like now? If my death was imminent, I imagine I'd be gorging myself on pizza, burgers, doughnuts, ice cream, etc. Do you have a preference for a last meal?

Do you have a preference for where you want to die? One of my greatest fears about death is dying in a hospital; I don't want the last thing I see to be the cold, sterile, harsh fluorescent lighting of a hospital room. Do you prefer dying in your sleep, or would you rather be awake to fully experience it?

If the pain ends up getting so great, are you planning to take matters into your own hands to end it? Or are you going to keep fighting and make the cancer take you by force?

A couple of years ago, there was an article claiming that cancer was the best way to die because it allowed you time to get your affairs together. Do you agree with this? Or would you rather have had death take you without any warning?

(My apologies if I'm asking way too many questions for you to spend your limited time answering. I'm morbidly fascinated by the topic of death.)

Post: #39

(02-04-2017 06:10 PM)armenia4ever Wrote:  I remember coming across your site and thinking to myself, "That guy's got a lot of confidence for only having one eye!"

Even with death on the horizon, you still have it and that sense of cheerfulness. It's something to behold. I wish you well.

Made me think of this.

Post: #40

Godspeed to you Mano. My question is have you thought of making peace with Christ just to be on 'the safe side'??

You'll be remembered.
Fair winds and Following seas brother.

Love.

Post: #41

(01-31-2017 07:45 PM)yankeetravels Wrote:  There's so many questions I'd want to ask you that I'm not sure if I could fit them all here. Would you be open to some sort of interview? I can't help but think of a Morgan Freeman quote from the movie The Bucket List. "Of the people asked if they would want to know when they're going to die, 96% of people said no. I always leaned towards the other 4%." I think I would lean towards the other 4% myself but I guess my most important question is now that you know, are you glad to know how much time you have to live it up, or would you rather of it been a surprise?

I'm mulling over doing a podcast where I address all the valid question verbally.

Post: #42

(02-01-2017 09:59 AM)Vaun Wrote:  Thank you for the opportunity you're giving us now, to ask you these questions. I am sure this is a very rare experience for all of us, and I think your insights can add true value to men here. You're openness and bravery are noble. I hope to learn from your answers. If I am in So. FLA for your party I am dropping by with all of my Miami Tinder matches, sisters of Kendall exes and whatever day game I can scrounge up from Miami.

Shit, bring 'em!

Post: #43

Hey mate, i'm new here so haven't had a chance to come across your posts but i will be sure to catch up on them.

What you're going through sounds gut wrenching and i feel for you. Im 26 and i believe to be healthy. But death scares the hell out of me. Every now and then i'll have a thought and that thought is me knowing that when i die, i won't be here anymore. My name may exist still but i physically won't be standing here where i am now smelling the air or playing with my dog. And i get this feeling inside where i can feel my heart sink.

How do you feel about death? Not being here? We all die at some point, but to never to have a thought again. It's scary man. Have you overcome the fear?

Post: #44

I am new to the forum, but this is really sad to read. I was thinking about this recently, when my grandfather died.
What is really important in life? Getting out of life as much as possible (choose whatever... travel, bangs, money) or leaving here your legacy as children or succesful bussiness...

Post: #45

Sorry to hear about your condition.

Wish you all the best and hope you can achieve whatever you set out for your remaining time.

I've got a few questions:

#1

(02-04-2017 07:25 PM)Shrodax Wrote:  What's your diet like now? If my death was imminent, I imagine I'd be gorging myself on pizza, burgers, doughnuts, ice cream, etc.

Related - has knowing death is closer made you let go of yourself more or try and live your last days at the top of your game?

For example: did you start eating all the delicious food you wouldn't have eaten for fear of the long term cons; pick up smoking cigarretes; dress "comfortably" (aka sweatpants everywhere). Or did you clean up your diet, dedicate yourself to fitness, dress sharp 24/7, and so on?

#2
How do you answer when acquaintances or people you don't know talk to/invite you to future events ("Hey you should come by after the Summer"; "I'll see you in a few months")? Do you tell them about your situation or do you just nod and keep it to yourself?

#3
Before discovering you had cancer, did you think about dying? How did you picture it would happen?

Post: #46

Death is waiting in the wings for us all, but he comes for some of us sooner than we would like.

Mad props to the OP for facing it like a man.

(02-03-2017 08:08 AM)Private Man Wrote:  ...

Also, I need something to distract me from you know, that other thing... my death.

You might consider reading some stoic philosophy. If you aren't religious it can help tremendously with this kind of thing. It helped me a lot getting over the death of a close friend, and it helped my friend to cope with the death of his mother.

I would recommend starting with Seneca's 'Letters From a Stoic'. You should also check out Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus if you like it.

Post: #47

i'm VERRRY sorry to break up your (mostly) pity party, but what do i - as a man seeking perfection - have to learn from you - a man who never even took a single look at his own contribution to his condition?

a cursory google search for "liver cancer spiritual causes" will hopefully shed some light onto your condition. here are some select quotes regarding liver problems/cancer (top 3 hits for me):

1. "Resistance to change. Fear, anger, hatred. Liver is the seat of anger and rage." (https://astrologymuse.blogspot.com/2012/...itual.html)
2. "Processing one’s life experiences with an “everybody else is an idiot and has caused all my problems" attitude (blame), or "I'm an idiot and everybody else is better than me" (self-condemnation). Deep-seated, long-standing anger and feeling fully justified in holding onto it. Feeling abandoned. See also liver diseases" (http://ourspiritualnutrition.com/is05.htm).+ "Liver diseases: Anger, envy, jealousy, revenge just sitting there, not being acknowledged or dealt with in any way".
3. "Ho'oponopono on liver cancer -- anger is like a hot coal that burns the One holding it" (http://evelynrodriguez.typepad.com/hoopo...anger.html)

how do you like 'em apples? do you recognized anyone you know in the above quotes? i do. hint, hint - his name starts with "private"...

Post: #48

(02-09-2017 09:12 AM)Саша: Wrote:  i'm VERRRY sorry to break up your (mostly) pity party, but what do i - as a man seeking perfection - have to learn from you - a man who never even took a single look at his own contribution to his condition?

a cursory google search for "liver cancer spiritual causes" will hopefully shed some light onto your condition. here are some select quotes regarding liver problems/cancer (top 3 hits for me):

1. "Resistance to change. Fear, anger, hatred. Liver is the seat of anger and rage." (https://astrologymuse.blogspot.com/2012/...itual.html)
2. "Processing one’s life experiences with an “everybody else is an idiot and has caused all my problems" attitude (blame), or "I'm an idiot and everybody else is better than me" (self-condemnation). Deep-seated, long-standing anger and feeling fully justified in holding onto it. Feeling abandoned. See also liver diseases" (http://ourspiritualnutrition.com/is05.htm)
3. "Ho'oponopono on liver cancer -- anger is like a hot coal that burns the One holding it" (http://evelynrodriguez.typepad.com/hoopo...anger.html)

how do you like 'em apples? do you recognized anyone you know in the above quotes? i do. hint, hint - his name starts with "private"...

I don't know what this incoherent rambling is supposed to be, but it makes you sound like a dick.

Post: #49

(02-09-2017 09:21 AM)Kaii Wrote:  I don't know what this incoherent rambling is supposed to be, but it makes you sound like a dick.

Meh, I have two ex-wives. This troll has to step up his game.

Besides, he missed a key word regarding my cancer - "metastatic". It started in my eye and then spread predictably based on the statistical and biological realities of ocular melanoma.

Oh, and "spiritual causes"? He references an astrology website?

Post: #50

(02-09-2017 10:14 AM)Private Man Wrote:  Besides, he missed a key word regarding my cancer - "metastatic". It started in my eye and then spread predictably based on the statistical and biological realities of ocular melanoma.

i missed nothing. your ocular melanoma ("Eyes: Represent how we interpret what we see") and you losing your right eye (right represents future, good and light) is simply a symbolic representation of you being unable to see that half of existence. you are not the first man with a missing right eye that i met and you fit the well-known pattern pretty damn well.

Quote:Oh, and "spiritual causes"? He references an astrology website?

yes, spiritual causes are the acausal mover of everything physical. mental/causal is downstream from spiritual, emotional/etheric/astral is downstream from the mental/causal and physical is downstream from the astral.

and yes, i referenced an astrology web-site because it was the very first google hit for me. how many good astrologists have you met face-to-face and have them read you your chart at least partially? i've met three and these slowly moved me from sceptic to agnostic to believer (in the explanatory/predictive power of astrology). it's not my preferred lens, but - in the hands of a good practioner - it's a VERY clear lens nonetheless.

now go and take good care of yourself - not the palliative kind of care though!!!

EDIT: you should start your journey to well-being but watching https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StrbppmsZJw. it might (or might NOT) buy you any significant time in this lifetime, but the more you walk on the path of healing in this lifetime, the less you'll have to suffer in the one's that will follow.

mark my words.