Post: #1

It's about time I started a progress thread.

Some background: I've always had a lack of sexual confidence. I never felt comfortable expressing my sexual desire to any women, and as a result, I've only had sex with one girl nearly five years ago. And that was only because she initiated.

I figure the only way to get over my problem is to approach, so this year I'm going to actively work on getting better with women. This thread is to keep me accountable.

I'm going to do night game. This will be difficult because I'll be both solo and sober, but I think it's my best chance at making something happen.

For this year, my goal was start the Good Looking Loser - How to Go Out Alone program, but just thinking about doing the first simple exercises was giving me a ton of anxiety. I almost didn't go out tonight. To ease my anxiety, I started searching the forum, and I found this thread: /thread-9960.html It helped to see other more experienced guys with the same issue, and I also learned from that thread the best way to deal with the fear is to not think about, because it's not the act itself that's scary, but the thought of the act.

Once I stopped thinking about, I put on my clothes and went to a bar with a dance floor close to my place. When I got there I was surprised to see the crowd was 95% black, many of whom were older. I was expecting a mix of people, but I'm black too though so fitting in wasn't a problem.

Inside the bar, I figured it's a good idea to order a drink, so I see two girls sitting alone with an open seat next to them, and I go and sit next to them. While doing this, I startle one of the girls, and I joke a bit about how I scared her. After our short conversation ended, I tried to think of something else to say, but I wasn't willing to interrupt their conversation. Just when they stopped talking, two guys show up and start talking to them. I realize I had taken the seat of one of the guys, but he didn't seem to have a problem with it. After the girls leave, I get my drink, walk around a bit, and then leave the bar.

The lesson from tonight, other than to just take action, was I need to be more willing to interrupt people in social environments. There were guys there I wanted to make a comment to, but I didn't want to interrupt them. Anyone who goes to a bar at night probably won't be offended if someone butts into their conversation.

I know this wasn't much, but I feel like this was a good first step.

I have the ability to go out every night, so I should be posting updates frequently here.

Post: #2

Went out again tonight. This time I went to a bar with bunch of over-sized games like beer pong with trash cans, connect four on a wall, and chess with three-foot pieces.

I had planned on making small talk with the bouncer, but right as a showed up, two Chinese tourists were curious about the place and started talking to him. He let me in without even carding me while talking to them. Not off to a good start.

Once inside and after going to the bathroom, I go up to the bar to order a club soda. While waiting, I make a comment to a girl about how they used handcuffs to secure the line barriers to the bar. She tells me about how they use handcuffs everywhere, and I let the brief convo fizzle out after that.

Now that I have my drink, I walk around inside and see almost everyone seated, so I head outside where most of the games are. In the back corner, I see a group of three cute chubby girls (all too common these days) with Skrillex haircuts at the tether ball game. Two of them were playing, so I go to the third and ask something about how long they've been playing (I don't know why I said that, but it was good enough to start talking to them). Then I asked if I can play the winner, and I went up to the girl and said: "My name's Corollary, and I'm about to beat you." She took it well and then proceeded to destroy me in two games. She must have been a professional tether ball player.

After the game, I talk to the original girl and find out some things about her and her group. It turns out they're all lesbians (or so they claim. I've met a few lesbians who ended up getting pregnant). The other girls join and we chat about random things for a while. The thing that stands out most of the conversation with them after one asked me who I was there with.

Lesbian Chick: "Who are you here with? Where are your friends?"

Corollary: "I was bored and came out alone since I have a ton a free time now since I quit my job recently to start a business."

LC: "Wow, what kind of business?"

C: "Blah blah blah"

They talk about how cool it is what I'm doing and how they know people who would want my service.

C: "So what do you do?"

LC: "We're bankers." (I knew exactly what she meant by this, but I still ended up being at a momentary loss of words in a second)

C: "Oh, you're some high level banker with millionaire clients, huh?"

LC: "No, we're tellers."

I accidentally let my disappointment show here. I don't care much about what someone does for a living, but for some reason, I was expecting something more. I couldn't think of a good response to what I knew her job was.

After that, we talk more, and then they say they're going to meet up with one girl's girlfriend and get shots.

Once they leave, I see a mixed group of about 8 playing four square. I go over to them and join their game. I introduce myself to all of them in the group. Just like the group of lesbians before, I quickly forget their names right after they tell me.

In the group were four girls: the birthday girl who could stand to lose 30 pounds, an average Asian girl, a hot Asian girl wearing a shirt/shorts hybrid short enough to show her cute ass and some high heels (completely inappropriate for the weather and the venue), and a chick so unremarkable I can't remember anything about her.

I ask the group how they know each other, and if I understood correctly, the hot Asian was only related to the other guys. If I had any skill at all, she would have been the target.

The group ends up splitting up in half so some of the people can go get shots. The hot Asian and two guys stay behind and we play four square for 20 to 30 minutes. They then get worried they were ditched and leave to find the rest of their group.

I'm alone again, and this time there were only a few people left outside. It was cold, so I went to the fire for a few minutes.

I then go back inside and see more people, but still most people were sitting down, and I didn't want to approach them. The bar was more packed now, but I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone there either. That's when I decide to leave.

-------

Nothing special about tonight, and for the first few weeks of this, I don't expect anything special. My goal for now is to get comfortable going out alone, being sober, and talking to people at the venue.

I almost held off on going out until the summer, but I know if I can get good now while it's cold, I'll be in great shape for the summer when more people come out.

Post: #3

This is awesome Corollary. I'm definitely watching.

Post: #4

Pretty inspiring reading this. Makes me want to push my boundaries as well.

Post: #5

Thanks MaceTyrell and Pestilence. Knowing that I have people reading this makes it much easier for me. I'll try not to let you guys down!

Post: #6

Tonight was the most fun I've had in a long time.

All day I felt anxious about going out because I was planning on going to a small bar, and I know Tuesdays aren't likely to be active. To ease my feelings, I came up with a plan: Go to the bar, talk to the doorman, and once inside, I would walk directly to the first group of people with at least one girl and say, "On a scale of 1-10, how friendly are you?" (depending on the situation, I would have used some filler around that, of course). Not the best opener, but I thought it would be serviceable.

I decide to go out later than I have the previous two nights to give people time to show up. When I get there, I walk to the bar, look throw the windows, and I see TWO people there. I'm thinking my night is already ruined, and I keep walking straight. But just ahead of me was a gift.

As I'm walking past the bar and the bars next to it, I see a group of four girls standing and talking. With absolutely no hesitation, I walk up to them and ask them to tell me about the fun places they've been because the bars I had passed were dead. They tell me that they're looking for a place to go because everywhere is dead, so immediately I'm in my head thinking about where we could all go.

The attractiveness of the girls was discrete: ugly, plain, cute, and hot. Luckily for me the hot girl was the most energetic and vocal.

They tell me about how all the bars aren't fun, and I tell them they themselves need to make the bars fun. So I suggest we all go somewhere, and right as a I do, another guy comes up to the five of us and asks the exact same question I had asked. We all then agree to go to a bar, and when we get there, I see two people I already know in the bar, a guy and a girl.

With all my years of keyboard jockeying, I'm familiar with merging sets, so I decide to introduce them to the girls. I think in the future when I'm good at this, having that same situation with people I know already in the bar would be great for social proof, but tonight, it wasn't conducive to learning, even though it made everything more fun.

After the introductions I get them to have a shot together (I don't drink). (By this time, the guy we met outside has disappeared. Not that I cared.)

At this point, I'm talking to the four girls more. Sometimes all four at once, and at other times, they group breaks in half, and I'm talk to two of them at a time.

I was able to keep the girls entertained for short busts of time, but it's hard for me to carry conversations for a long time. I'm pretty sure it's just a newbie problem. Since I knew other people there, I was able to go back and forth between the two groups. However, one time when I was talking to the other group, the girls decide they want to leave. They tell me they plan on coming out for the rest of the week since a couple of them were visiting, and I get the number of the hottest girl so we can meet up as soon as tomorrow.

After the girls leave, I talk to my old friends once again. I eventually get bored and decide to leave, but just before I do, I figure I'll give merging sets one more try. I see a guy walk in with about eight girls, so I introduce the guy to my group, and he introduces me to his entire group and tells me how he knows every single girl in the group. All of the girls were busted except for one, who was by far the hottest girl to step into that bar in the time I was there. She was just a friend of the guy's wife. I realize how big of an opportunity I got in that moment, but I'm not sure how to handle it this point (of course I actually need to try something in those moments so I can learn).

After I leave, I see the bar I originally wanted to go to had people in it, but I decide against going inside because the thought of having that much fun in a short period of time again was unappealing.

I didn't expect this much to happen so soon. The biggest lesson I learned is just to act and not think. Thinking only gets me in my head and makes it hard for me to do anything. The bit of success I've had so far is a result of quick action.

I've acquired a couple of game resources to study. I hope to start applying some of it soon.

Post: #7

Phenomenal night man!

As an aside, I find it particularly interesting in the identical makeup of the two girl groups you gamed - one hot girl, bunch of ugly girls.

The LTR that left me last month was also the hotter girl in her friend group, yet in hindsight I believe her disposition to still be similar to that of the less attractive girls.

The adage "you're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with" seems particularly relevant in this scenario.

I'd recommend hitting the hot girl up and set up a coffee date or something. Or if you're interested in expediting the bang, check out Tuthmosis' post on Zero Date Bangs. I have yet to try it, but best believe I will be over 2017.

Good stuff man. Keep it up.

Post: #8

Also for context...how old are you?

Post: #9

(01-04-2017 09:46 AM)MaceTyrell Wrote:  Phenomenal night man!

As an aside, I find it particularly interesting in the identical makeup of the two girl groups you gamed - one hot girl, bunch of ugly girls.

The LTR that left me last month was also the hotter girl in her friend group, yet in hindsight I believe her disposition to still be similar to that of the less attractive girls.

The adage "you're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with" seems particularly relevant in this scenario.

This is something I need to experience for myself. In all the other areas of my life, I don't mind jumping into fire to check how much it burns. I need to have that attitude when it comes to women.

(01-04-2017 09:46 AM)MaceTyrell Wrote:  I'd recommend hitting the hot girl up and set up a coffee date or something. Or if you're interested in expediting the bang, check out Tuthmosis' post on Zero Date Bangs. I have yet to try it, but best believe I will be over 2017.

Good stuff man. Keep it up.

I have no interest in seeing her friends again, so this is the best option. My stomach does back flips when I think about doing it though. I'll try for something either today or tomorrow.

(01-04-2017 09:46 AM)MaceTyrell Wrote:  Also for context...how old are you?

27.

Thanks for your advice and thoughts.

Post: #10

Great work going out and meeting people by yourself. I've been doing this for about a year now and absolutley have a blast doing it.

You had a missed opportunity with the handcuffs thing. You could have made a fun joke about handcuffs being used for more naughty things.

Post: #11

(01-04-2017 02:11 PM)Turnus Wrote:  Great work going out and meeting people by yourself. I've been doing this for about a year now and absolutley have a blast doing it.

You had a missed opportunity with the handcuffs thing. You could have made a fun joke about handcuffs being used for more naughty things.

Thanks. I hope I have the same result as you.

Right after I said the handcuffs thing to her, I realized the same thing, but my mind came up blank. I'm sure I'll have a ton of missed opportunities as I learn this stuff.

Post: #12

Compared to the last two nights, tonight was horrible, but I'm going to focus on the positives of the day.

I sent a text to the girl from last night. I didn't get a reply, but I was able to send the text with very little hesitation. In the past whenever I'd think about texting a girl I was interested in, I'd sometimes get so nervous that I wouldn't send anything.

Later in the evening I went to a Mexican grill to get some food. A couple of months ago a cute girl started working there, and I always wanted to say something to her, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Today was different though. I was able to talk to her a bit while I paid for my food.

I decided to go to a college bar I had heard about but had never been to. When I arrive, I see that it's closed, so I'm forced to go next door to a bigger bar that has quite a few people in it. The problem was that the place was too big for the number of people there, so everyone was sitting down. Also, there were more guys than girls, I'd say 75/25 or even 80/20. I saw one pair of approachable girls, but their seating arrangement was too awkward for me. Their backs were to the wall, so the table shielded them in a way. With the music being loud and the girls being behind the table, I didn't approach.

I made a couple of laps around the place and then left. I then went to a location with a club, not expecting to get in, just to check it out. When I get there, two sloppy drunk girls are all over two seemingly sober guys. I exchange a few words with a sloppy drunk and guy about the club.

When leaving, I see a couple: drunk girl and sober guy. The drunk girl says something really stupid about the club having too many people in it, so I felt compelled to tease her about it. The guy laughs and the girl seemed too drunk to understand. Based on the get-to-know-you conversation they were having, my guess is he pulled her out of the club.

I'm only four days into this, so my goal is to keep to a point where I feel comfortable going out and interacting with others, not so much the results. I was able to talk to some people even though I wasn't in a social mood, and I didn't feel anxious at all in the bar. I could have stayed there much longer.

Each night I go out I can learn about which spots are best to go out each not, so no night can be a complete failure.

Post: #13

Tonight was better than last night, but not by much.

I decided on which bar I wanted to go to yesterday, and I didn't feel anxious at all during the day. This is a huge improvement over the feelings I felt Sunday and Monday before I went out.

The highlight of my night happened right at the beginning: as soon as I walk into the bar, I see two girls seated at the bar with empty seats on both sides of them. With no thought and no hesitation, I go to the right side and open one of the girls:

Corollary: "Has this place been fun for you so far?"

Girl: "What?" *with a confused look on her face.

C: "HAS THIS PLACE BEEN FUN FOR YOU?" *thinking she can't hear me over the music

G: "I don't understand. I'm from Brazil."

I get right in her ear.

C: "HAS THIS PLACE BEEN FUN FOR YOU?!!!"

G: ????

C: "Where in Brazil are you from?"

G: "City name. Have you been?"

C: "No, I just wanted to know. What's your name?"

G: "Name."

C: "I'm Corollary."

At this point I decide to stop talking to her because I didn't want to put up with both loud music and someone who doesn't understand English well. She was hot though, and by far the hottest girl in the bar. The girl she was talking to before I interrupted didn't look nearly as good as her.

After I stopped talking to her, I look around the rest of the small venue and see couples. I go to three guys standing near me and say, "Hey, if you like Brazilian girls, talk to the girls behind me." One of them gives me dap after questioning if I talked to her already. I then go to the bathroom, chat with the bathroom attendant for a while, and leave the bar.

I head to a different bar, and when I get there, I see more couples.

I go to a third bar, and this time there are a few groups of girls, but they're all on the dance floor. I wasn't comfortable approaching because I'm not a dancer. Dance floor approaches are something I'll have to work on in addition to seated groups and mixed groups.

I call it a night at this point.

Some positives:
- Opening the Brazilian chick without even thinking
- Chatting up with either guys or the staff at each venue
- Not having bad feelings about going out
- Tomorrow is Friday

It sucks that during the week, each bar will at most one group of girls inside. I'm guessing most of them are at home watching Netflix instead of going out because it's too cold.

Day game may be in my future during the weekdays if this keeps up.

Post: #14

So I went out got and what I wanted tonight: more girls. What did I do? Absolutely nothing.

The thought of going into a venue or approaching a girl didn't affect me; it was the thought of what happens after I open the girls.

I didn't have a plan or a goal. I don't think I'm capable of getting major success yet, so I need to figure out some nightly goals that can get me closer to my ultimate goal.

Post: #15

How about a different approach. Instead of setting specific goals, how about being outcome independent. You want to go out to have fun, and be social and meet people. Don't set specific goals around how many people, how many numbers, etc. You want to have fun social interactions.

Post: #16

(01-07-2017 01:58 PM)Turnus Wrote:  How about a different approach. Instead of setting specific goals, how about being outcome independent. You want to go out to have fun, and be social and meet people. Don't set specific goals around how many people, how many numbers, etc. You want to have fun social interactions.

I'll try that tonight, but in general I'm skeptical of approaches like this. There are plenty of times I've had fun and been social, but that hasn't gotten me anywhere with women. I want to focus directly on the goal of talking to women because that's where my problems are.

Thinking about it now though, my problem has never been getting attraction. My problem has be fear of making any kind of move, so maybe being fun and social while remembering to escalate can be all that I need.

Thanks for the input.

Post: #17

Keep going mano. I'm rooting for you all the way.

You may want to see WestIndianArchies's thread 'so what is this game thingy anyway'.

Great read.

Post: #18

(01-08-2017 01:25 AM)El Padrone Wrote:  Keep going mano. I'm rooting for you all the way.

You may want to see WestIndianArchies's thread 'so what is this game thingy anyway'.

Great read.

I'm very familiar with WIA's writings here. I wish I were in a better position to apply what he writes about.

Thanks for the support.

Post: #19

It has now been seven nights in a row that I've gone out.

Tonight I took Turnus' advice and focused more on fun and being social. I was able to accomplish that to some degree.

I talked to a few groups of people. Not much was noteworthy though other than a drunk girl teaching me high five technique and my attempt at talking to a hottie but then finding out she barely spoke English.

Speaking of girls who don't speak English well, I found that in the past I had no trouble talking to them. But with the loud music and all the distractions of nightlife, it seems impossible for me right now.

There were two venues I wanted to go to dance. The first venue was packed (it's extremely small), so the line wasn't moving. And the line 90% guys, so I definitely didn't want to dance there. I went the second venue and the line wasn't as long, but they had a live rock band playing, which isn't the type of music I like.

I'm thinking of trying out day game a week straight for few reasons:

- It's easier for me to imagine what's supposed to happen. With day game it seems like each interaction can stand on its own and be relatively short. With night game, everything seems to blend together, and that makes me hard for me to picture how an entire night is supposed to unfold.

- I didn't anticipate my sleep schedule being adversely affected like it has been.

- I'm not seeing many girls out.

- Too cold.

- The amount of information from my game resource is overwhelming. I'm going to try out a very simple resource for day game.

If day game turns out to badly, I could always try night game again, or even do a combination of the two.

One thing I'm struggling with is my goal: should I focus more on getting laid or getting good at game? Or am just creating a false distinction of the two goals in my mind?

Post: #20

I went out today with a small intention to practice day game, but I only saw one girl, and I didn't act.

As much as I don't like it, night game is the best opportunity for me to learn. The thought of going out every night for months on end before making significant progress can be demotivating.

Reading this article gave me some comfort: http://bristollair.com/2008/inner-game/i...ng-a-habi/

I watched a few videos from one of my game resources on analyzing a night after it's over for maximum value, so I'll start doing that going forward. I'll even try it for the nights I've already gone out if I can remember enough.

WestIndianArchie says it takes 90 days: /thread-47787.html

I hope he's right.

Post: #21

I went out a little earlier tonight, and it wasn't too busy. Significantly fewer people than on Friday and Saturday, but more than a week night.

My first pass by of the bars I didn't go inside of any of them. Before I came back for a second pass, I asked a tall street performer wearing heels exactly how tall she was.

On the second pass by, I get attracted some music and head into a bar. Right in front of me as I enter, I see a guy and a girl who seem to know the doorman. After I get carded, I go and take a seat next to them. I see they also know the bartenders.

To the guy, I say something like, "you seem popular around here, do you know when this bar has more people?" The guy seems dismissive, but the girl he was with answers for him. I find out that they both work at a bar across the street, but I'm having a hard time understanding the girl because of the distance between us (the guy was in between us). With this, I sensed a bit of a condescending attitude from her.

I then sat in that seat and nursed a club soda for almost an hour. In that time, I talked to the two bartenders working and got their names. When the guy and the girl who worked at the other bar were ready to leave, I said: "have a good night." With that, the guy shook my hand, and the girl introduced herself, told me when she works, and told me she'd hook me up when I visit her bar. I'm guessing the dismissive and condescending attitudes I perceived were just results of working a slow night and not making any money.

I had a really long conversation with the girl bartender because everyone had left at that point. (It's a weird feeling being the only patron in a bar) She told me everything I could ever want to know about that bar.

So I met three bartenders. It wouldn't have happened if I would have bailed out of the place after the first guy didn't want to talk. My nights so far have been pretty short, so I know I need to stay longer to give me more time to make things happen.

Post: #22

Good job on continuing to push yourself. Think about it, you just became friends with a bartender - that's a good connection to have. Visit that place again in the near future so she'll remember you and you'll start to build some social capital in that bar. You can bring a date in there sometime and it we'll be "Hey, Corollary, so glad to see you!" and that will only help you.

Post: #23

(01-09-2017 10:11 AM)Turnus Wrote:  Good job on continuing to push yourself. Think about it, you just became friends with a bartender - that's a good connection to have. Visit that place again in the near future so she'll remember you and you'll start to build some social capital in that bar. You can bring a date in there sometime and it we'll be "Hey, Corollary, so glad to see you!" and that will only help you.

Yeah, I plan on stopping by both bars to at least say hi every time I'm in the area.

After sitting in the bar for nearly an hour, one thing I noticed was that the few people there (between 2 and 15) weren't talking much. They could have used more fun. Eventually I'll be the guy to bring the fun.

Post: #24

Another good night tonight.

I pick a bar to go to and head straight there. I didn't feel the need to walk around to get in the mood first.

On my way there, I say hello to an old lady crossing the street, and I compliment an old guy on his overcoat. As I walk in the bar, I exchange pleasantries with the doorman.

As soon as I'm inside, I see a group of about eight people at the corner of the bar, with two girls in the center. I immediately walk up to them and say, "Excuse, I have a weird question for you. What do you think of people who go out alone to meet other people?" The girls respond there's nothing wrong with that and the guys don't say anything. I then say, "Well, I'm alone and here to meet people." I then shake everyone's hand and get everyone's name. They're part of a much bigger group and not all of them were there.

I go sit next to one of the guys on the outside of the circle and order a club soda. I ask him what brings them out, and he grudgingly tells me they're out for their friends birthday. I ask the group whose birthday is it, and the birthday girl appears out of nowhere and walks up to me. She's really cute but clearly drunk.

She introduces herself and we shake hands, and then we just hold hands. I wanted to see hold long we can just stay there holding hands while talking. After about 20 to 30 seconds, the bartender interrupts me asking for me to pay for the club soda (I noticed some bartenders charge and others don't), so I have to release her hand.

So then I guess her age (I always guess 21 in these situations). I'm wrong, but I'm able to keep the conversation going. I ask her about her night, and she tells me where she was before, and then she feels the need to explain to me what a speakeasy is. I listen, but while she's telling me this, I'm constantly interrupting her with jokes and teasing. Also, the entire time she's talking to me, we were in physical contact. My knee was on her thigh (I was seated and she was standing).

Eventually after about 10 minutes of talking to her, a guy shows up and tries to say something to her, but she ignores him. He walks a few feet away to say something to his friends, and then he walks back and grabs her attention and asks her again. He mentioned something they could look at outside, and I ask him about it. He ignores me. So I wait a couple of seconds and ask him again, because the girl wasn't saying anything. Without looking at me, he answers me, and then I knew he just wasn't interested in talking to me. He eventually pulls the girl away.

I didn't want to talk to the other guy close to me, because I felt a vibe that none of the guys wanted to talk to me. The girls had no trouble talking to me when I got there, but like I said, they were in the middle of a circle of guys.

In the past three days, I've had three different instances where I started talking to a mixed group and the guys didn't seem comfortable talking to me but the girls did.

I'd like to think it's because the girls find me attractive and the guys find me intimidating. Yeah, let's go with that .

I later see the guy who pulled the birthday girl away from me give her a kiss. It now makes sense why he didn't want to talk to me and why he didn't want her talking to me.

So I'm sitting there silent at the bar watching the bartenders work, and I resist the urge to get up after last night's lesson with staying at the bar when no one else is around (even though the group was still next to me). It paid off again.

First I talk to the big-titted bartender about her technique of opening beer bottles.

Then later I notice that a guy bartender was having shoulder problems. I start talking to them about that and relate to him because I had some shoulder issues myself. He ends up telling me some shoulder exercises to try (I already knew them but I didn't bother to interrupt his explanations).

We ended up talking about people who party when they're old, a drunk guy trying to talk to a girl, and he shares some drunk stories from when he was younger. Eventually, I introduce myself and we shake hands.

After sitting about the bar for about 45 minutes, I go outside.

I see a group of six ugly girls standing and sitting. I approach them and ask them why they aren't participating in the available activities around them, and they explain they're waiting for a particular one to open up. While they tell me, I notice I might be dealing with possible lesbians again.

During my time talking to them, I could tell they were really uncomfortable talking to me. But I felt like the discomfort was more of they've never had guy like me come up to talk to them instead of them just not liking me. I didn't care, and I persisted. I ask them what brings them out, and they say they're celebrating their friends birthday.

I start talking to the birthday girl and guess her age (wrong again). Out of the group, she seems the most uncomfortable. I ask her why she's not excited on her birthday, and she says it's because she never goes out.

It was hard to keep the conversation going, so I eventually said "have a good night" and left.

I decide to call it a night at this point. I go back to the bar and thank the bartender for telling me about the shoulder exercises.

On the way home I laugh to myself about the boyfriend and the rest of the guys. A girl blowing me out would affect me a little bit, but guys not wanting to talk me doesn't affect me at all.

My main goal for tonight was to open the first group I saw. I was able to do it without hesitating, and I'm learning that interrupting people doesn't have any negative consequences. In my nine days doing this, I haven't gotten any bad reactions.

Post: #25

Great to read that you are putting in the effort and you will find that this confidence is going to help you in your future interactions with women in any scenario.

Like some of the other posters mentioned, you should go out to have fun and not to meet girls, girls can smell this pretty easily. How big a city are you in?

Going solo is I think the one big thing which might be hurting you because people are immediately suspicious of you to some extent and it can be harder to genuinely have fun and avoid looking weird when you are out alone unless you are super outgoing. You got to create a social circle that hang out with you at night and guys who are cooperative when you want to go for a girl. Its better to have some girls in that social circle. The reality is that the night game of today is turning more into social circle game because people are becoming more insular. Girls today are relying more on their social circle to get laid because they are more afraid that their reputation gets damaged more if they go home with a stranger unless, you are located in a big city where girls go out in smaller groups or alone in which case you should be bothering about mixed or large groups.

Once you are out in a group, you immediately have social proof and guys in other groups can be disarmed by those guys or girls in your group and you can have more time to chat up the girl you like and she will be more willing to do so because she now knows you are not a creep. I know it is hard to roll with a crew every week but that is why you need to build strong friendships before you think of girls because I find having friends means you get more access to more girls. It might be a good learning step to game those girls in your group successfully in a night game scenario before you think about getting success with girls you don't know.

My two cents.