Screwston
Banned
Posts: 8,774
Joined: Feb 2011
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How I got over my fear of going out solo
A few people have requested a data sheet from me on this. It's hard to believe that I would of never, ever considered going out solo before I found this forum. I'm typing from my phone while eating a peanut butter sandwich so ask any questions if you want to know more after reading this. I want to start off by saying if I can go out alone, you can do it. I really had to push myself and let my nuts hang the first few times. Im a short, skinny guy but i've always walked with my head high. Just do the same and you'll be ok. I dont really know how to write a data sheet on it so maybe my experiences will inspire you to get off your ass and make magic happen.
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That's where it started. I've been fucking lizards for about 7 years now but never went out alone at night to look for them. If my boy couldn't make it, I'd sit at home and try to get one of my hoes over...or jack off. Going out solo? That thought never even crossed my mind.
I can only shake my head when I think back of the first few times I tried all of this. I drove to the spots and ended up driving back home before I even parked. I would see the crowds of people, all the cars parked outside and get nervous. I'm naturally a very quiet, introverted guy. The thought of going in those places without a buddy to have my back made me feel naucious. Kind of like giving a speech in front of a classroom.
I finally told myself to stop being a pussy and at least walk in somewhere. "You're a good looking guy who's fucked more girls than most guys will in their lifetime. Just relax". I smoked some and took a few shots before I hopped in my car. I wasn't going to come back home until I went inside a bar and at least attempted to talk to some dddgirls.
The first bar I tried was a Latin bar/club that i'd been to twice with someone. It was packed and everyone was in groups. I felt my stomach do flips when I got inside and I contemplated turning around. I got a beer and posted up in a spot with heavy traffic (thanks Roosh and gmanifesto for that tip). I talked to a few girls who came to get drinks but fell off my game when a girl asked if I was alone and gave me a constipated face. I didn't know what to say and mumbled "uhhh" before she looked at me nasty again and walked off. Her face and comment really pissed me off. Some old school guy was standing next to me and laughing. "Dont worry about that bitch man. You gonna let her ruin your night?". I probably would of got wasted and left if it wasn't for that guy. I made myself talk to girls after what he told me. I was getting shut down left and right but it felt good. I didn't need someone with me at night for the first time. I remember driving home and thinking "I can't believe I just did that".
As I started going out solo more, it gradually got easier and felt more natural. The first time was the hardest and it wasnt even hard. It's like when youre a kid and you're scared to take the training wheels off. It's game over when they come off and you're wondering why you didn't do it a long time ago.
That first night inspired me to go to concerts alone, art events, museums, anywhere I could possibly fuck a girl. I felt "player baptized" and like I was seeing the light for the first time. I truly believe if I can do it, anyone can. Hell, think of me not even being able to park my car because I was so scared of what was inside if it makes it easier for you.
(This post was last modified: 01-28-2012 09:38 PM by Screwston.)
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| 01-28-2012 09:32 PM |
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Hencredible Casanova
Banned
Posts: 3,852
Joined: Nov 2011
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RE: How I got over my fear of going out solo
(01-28-2012 09:32 PM)houston Wrote: A few people have requested a data sheet from me on this. It's hard to believe that I would of never, ever considered going out solo before I found this forum. I'm typing from my phone while eating a peanut butter sandwich so ask any questions if you want to know more after reading this. I want to start off by saying if I can go out alone, you can do it. I really had to push myself and let my nuts hang the first few times. Im a short, skinny guy but i've always walked with my head high. Just do the same and you'll be ok. I dont really know how to write a data sheet on it so maybe my experiences will inspire you to get off your ass and make magic happen.
/thread-1552.html
That's where it started. I've been fucking lizards for about 7 years now but never went out alone at night to look for them. If my boy couldn't make it, I'd sit at home and try to get one of my hoes over...or jack off. Going out solo? That thought never even crossed my mind.
I can only shake my head when I think back of the first few times I tried all of this. I drove to the spots and ended up driving back home before I even parked. I would see the crowds of people, all the cars parked outside and get nervous. I'm naturally a very quiet, introverted guy. The thought of going in those places without a buddy to have my back made me feel naucious. Kind of like giving a speech in front of a classroom.
I finally told myself to stop being a pussy and at least walk in somewhere. "You're a good looking guy who's fucked more girls than most guys will in their lifetime. Just relax". I smoked some and took a few shots before I hopped in my car. I wasn't going to come back home until I went inside a bar and at least attempted to talk to some dddgirls.
The first bar I tried was a Latin bar/club that i'd been to twice with someone. It was packed and everyone was in groups. I felt my stomach do flips when I got inside and I contemplated turning around. I got a beer and posted up in a spot with heavy traffic (thanks Roosh and gmanifesto for that tip). I talked to a few girls who came to get drinks but fell off my game when a girl asked if I was alone and gave me a constipated face. I didn't know what to say and mumbled "uhhh" before she looked at me nasty again and walked off. Her face and comment really pissed me off. Some old school guy was standing next to me and laughing. "Dont worry about that bitch man. You gonna let her ruin your night?". I probably would of got wasted and left if it wasn't for that guy. I made myself talk to girls after what he told me. I was getting shut down left and right but it felt good. I didn't need someone with me at night for the first time. I remember driving home and thinking "I can't believe I just did that".
As I started going out solo more, it gradually got easier and felt more natural. The first time was the hardest and it wasnt even hard. It's like when youre a kid and you're scared to take the training wheels off. It's game over when they come off and you're wondering why you didn't do it a long time ago.
That first night inspired me to go to concerts alone, art events, museums, anywhere I could possibly fuck a girl. I felt "player baptized" and like I was seeing the light for the first time. I truly believe if I can do it, anyone can. Hell, think of me not even being able to park my car because I was so scared of what was inside if it makes it easier for you.
Congrats for gaining good experience in another dimension of the game. It takes real determination and persistence to muster the will and energy to get comfortable rolling dolo. The confidence you've acquired will manifest and provide value in other situations as well. +1 man. Keep it up.
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| 01-28-2012 09:52 PM |
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ElJefe
True Player
    
Posts: 1,682
Joined: Aug 2011
Reputation: 25
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RE: How I got over my fear of going out solo
I'm impressed you went out solo without getting completely trashed.
I go out solo every once in a while, but usually to bars where I've worked with the tenders and then I post up and let the rum flow. I will score, but the variance in quality tells me I need to work on my lower-bounds.
A good way to get into going out solo in a fun way is to memorize some "games" where you're wagering drinks by heart - I really don't use routines, but I like to have a few funny crowd-pleasers up my sleeve. I'll hustle a girl for a drink or beer, it gets her laughing and you can use it on several girls in the same night. After you're "approved", you can bounce from group to group without pressure or worrying about getting bored.
This is one hustle that's kinda stupid, but it's won me many pints:
Wager for a beer/drink, and the wager is you bet she can't repeat the same moves you're about to make. Remind her it's important to follow you closely. Has to be done with a glass, bottles won't do. Save it until 15-20 minutes into the interaction when already thinks you're cool and you guys are having a decent convo.
Do everything slowly so she has a chance to follow.
I place my hands on the table/bar, one on each side of my glass, so does she. I move one hand forward, then back, then the other forward, then back. She's going to think it's a "mirroring" challenge. I take a sip from my drink, so does she. I DON'T SWALLOW, I just keep the sip in my mouth without saying anything. Naturally, she swallows.
Then I repeat the hand movement as before. So does she, wondering why I am so retarded. Then I take my glass, raise it to my mouth as if to toast (she HAS to look you in the eyes while doing this). She does the same.
Then I spit the sip out back into my glass, and she cracks up.
I know some guys are going to think it's retarded, and it is, but the girl always laugh at how silly it is, because of course, she swallowed her sip so she can't spit the beer out. Drink is won, she's invested, she thinks you're cheeky, so now it's up to you if you take it to the next level of attraction.
Naturally, if you can pull off the right ironic tone, you can say: "Glad to see you're a girl who doesn't spit, but swallows," for which you can tease her afterwards... I'd just make sure I knew the girl had an ironic sense of humor and how seriously she takes herself.
A year from now you'll wish you started today
(This post was last modified: 01-29-2012 08:16 AM by ElJefe.)
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| 01-29-2012 08:07 AM |
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MrXY
International Playboy
     
Posts: 3,352
Joined: Jan 2012
Reputation: 78
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RE: How I got over my fear of going out solo
I go out solo about 90% of the time. As Houstons post illustrates it does take determination and persistence to be able to do it comfortably and successfully-you have to want to succeed very badly. Of course, this is true of any important endeavor in life- effort and passion are requisites.
Inner Game is critical-you have to be solid and confident. Women are amazingly perceptive in sniffing out weakness in men-if you are tired, distracted, questioning your worth or just not feeling it on a particular night they somehow pick up on this and you're going to have rough sledding.
One technique i have found invaluable is to have a mental model of the type of persona you want to exhibit and to refer to it frequently. My particular model is Daniel Craig as James Bond.His portrayal of Bond's personality is very close to my natural persona- smirky, assholish, teasing, introspective,sophisticated, somewhat cold, not very talkative, tough when necessary- so it works for me. A girl said to me recently, " You're not very approachable-you walk around looking like you want to kick somebody in the balls." (heh)
Some girls are very attracted to this type of guy,others not. So be it-you can't appeal to every girl.
My choice of model persona certainly is not for most -use one appropriate for your personality and aspirations. It's just a technique to help you stay "in state" as the pua's say- when you are solo its very easy to get trapped in your own head and start generating negative scenarios.
In nightclubs and "party" type bars it's important to not spend a long time just standing around-this will start to give off the creeper vibe. Spend ten minutes getting a drink and assessing the situation and the try to approach. Even talk to guys if you have to. This is less critical at upscale lounges and events, though, and at large clubs where you can move form room to room. If you feel like you're getting to the point where you've been standing around alone too long, just leave. You can always come later when the crowd has turned over and try again.
Here's my response to "Where are your friends"
Me:" I don't have any friends" while smirking and bertstaring her into submission.(Got this from Roissy) Works great. This question doesn't get asked as much as you might imagine however.
"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
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| 01-29-2012 02:29 PM |
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Amour Fou
Wingman
  
Posts: 950
Joined: Apr 2011
Reputation: 22
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RE: How I got over my fear of going out solo
(01-29-2012 08:53 AM)Hencredible Casanova Wrote: El Jefe, your avatar is hilarious.
I'm hypnotized.
Anyhow...
@ houston
Congrats man. I'm still working on my solo game, but I guess I'm ok with it nowadays, but there are days that I fall back into my old patterns and fear takes over. But there are days I can do it without any problems... I guess it is part of the process.
I have to say that I only started going out alone (on some few occasions) while away from my home turf. Boy, was that an testicle-enhancing experience!
What are your taken on venue selection while going solo? My guess is that bars and lounges are harder than clubs, where you can roam around more. What you say?
You see, all I know is ball, and good, and...
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| 01-29-2012 08:20 PM |
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