(08-10-2016 11:44 PM)N°6 Wrote:  I went on two tinder dates. They were not anywhere as attractive as their pictures.

One got to the stage where I had her clothes off. Saw the bulges for the first time and made an excuse to leave. I could not go through with it.

It is like POF out there now.

--Odd camera angles (especially the one with the camera looking down on them)

--No full body shots, or a bunch of close-up face shots with one body shot in baggy and/or black clothes

--A buncha cleavage shots (unfortunately, this is often a huge warning, women with good bodies don't *just* focus on their boobs).

Also, remember women store their fat differently. If you're worried she's fat but not sure, then she's probably hiding her stomach and legs. So along with checking their face for fat, make sure you take a good look at their *arms* too.

Just updated my tinder for the first time in many months, how does the hide location work? I'm using tinder+ and for the first time the passport feature as my gps all stopped working. Can girls see I'm not actually in their city right now? I've hidden my location. But I know in previous versions if someone had plus it said "swiping in x location". I don't want girls to know I'm not in their city now or that I'm on plus...

^ The "arm" test. Probably the best single test.

No full body shots and focus on cleavage shots are the key. Swipe left.

As for body in general, full body shot (of course she's going to do this if it's in decent shape) and if you see a thin arm, that's by far the best indicator.

I have never seen an unfit girl with thin arms.

(08-09-2016 08:47 PM)JWLZG Wrote:  

(08-09-2016 05:34 AM)Sumanguru Wrote:  I have no problem with this.

While some guys might argue you could have done more to build comfort, I would ask--why? She is a barely attractive sloot on a hook up app with a picture of herself in a slutty costume pouring rows of drinks. Any halfway reasonable human being could only expect so much courtship in that situation. And its not like you were saying, "Come over tonight," you were asking for her number so you can get to know her better.

To me it seems like you called her out as to whether she was serious about moving forward towards meeting, and she ejected. I think if you would have kept the conversation going for a long time, she would have enjoyed it, but I don't see any guarantee you would have gotten the number/bang anyway. I also noticed she didn't ask you any questions. When a woman is really interested in you, she will ask about you, even if just to keep the convo going.

Remember that a lot of girls are just on these apps for attention/to kill time. I've found that your approach (testing them early to see if they're serious or not) weeds out the attention whores from the serious ones, especially if they're not showing you good signs (like, if they aren't asking questions about you).

Thanks Sumanguru, that clears up the doubts that I had regarding whether and what I fucked up on. If I was looking at it from a meta-logical perspective, I'd have wondered HTF she could've come to that conclusion (my caption explicitly implies that I'm not after a relationship; not necessarily a self-cockblock by itself).

The attention whore factor is another frustrating element, but you're right in that my approach helps filter them out. Would even they be more DTF were I to be much more attractive. Hard to say. It can't help to improve my Tinder banter though.

In my opinion, the remark about her being a good girl was perfect, organic and perfectly timed.. but at that point instead of changing the subject, trying to build any comfort or plans with her.. you just got excited and tried to escalate it futher, which is unnecessary and normally counterproductive. It came off a bit desperate.

Also, the lines you used afterwards were lame and sound like weak gamey canned lines, even though they're probably not, they just come across that way. Come on, read this again and tell me what the point of saying this is?

"I'm not necessarily after a good girl, just my type of girl. Is that you?"

Gay.

That sounds like something Style and Mystery would say and girls get these lame lines all the time now, as guys think talking like this is 'game.' It will probably work in a club or bar and get girls laughing if they're drinking, but online? Nah.

Also, I don't know if they consciously realise these are lines from the game, but they just don't work well and they're normally incongruent with your character. Whenever I've used lines like that, I always get shot down, girls can feel you're not being completely real and trying to game them.

So she replied to that with some sarcy I don't even know you shit because she felt creeped out by you with those lines.

So you follow it up with another creepy line. "aww why don't you pop your number..."

Be condescending in person, online she's still got her bitch shield up.. also way too soon, no comfort or future plans/ideas for a possible date mentioned at that point. It was like a hail mary attempt at salvaging her number from a poor interaction.

I hope I haven't been too over the top harsh, I'm trying to tone that down. This is just how I see it and thought it would be constructive to point it out.

(08-11-2016 12:36 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  In my opinion, the remark about her being a good girl was perfect, organic and perfectly timed.. but at that point instead of changing the subject, trying to build any comfort or plans with her.. you just got excited and tried to escalate it futher, which is unnecessary and normally counterproductive. It came off a bit desperate.

Also, the lines you used afterwards were lame and sound like weak gamey canned lines, even though they're probably not, they just come across that way. Come on, read this again and tell me what the point of saying this is?

"I'm not necessarily after a good girl, just my type of girl. Is that you?"

Gay.

That sounds like something Style and Mystery would say and girls get these lame lines all the time now, as guys think talking like this is 'game.' It will probably work in a club or bar and get girls laughing if they're drinking, but online? Nah.

Also, I don't know if they consciously realise these are lines from the game, but they just don't work well and they're normally incongruent with your character. Whenever I've used lines like that, I always get shot down, girls can feel you're not being completely real and trying to game them.

So she replied to that with some sarcy I don't even know you shit because she felt creeped out by you with those lines.

So you follow it up with another creepy line. "aww why don't you pop your number..."

Be condescending in person, online she's still got her bitch shield up.. also way too soon, no comfort or future plans/ideas for a possible date mentioned at that point. It was like a hail mary attempt at salvaging her number from a poor interaction.

I hope I haven't been too over the top harsh, I'm trying to tone that down. This is just how I see it and thought it would be constructive to point it out.

No, you weren't being harsh, as long as I actually learn from this. The problem is that I wasn't even sure what constitutes creepy/canned/lame, so I thought I'd take the path of least resistance to # close. I just had a huge mental block in trying to come up with something, and therefore came bit too forced.

I may have done something similar again, or not (The next post I made above).

How do you guys go about getting 50 FB friends after making a new account?

(08-13-2016 05:52 PM)NextStop100 Wrote:  How do you guys go about getting 50 FB friends after making a new account?

do you need 50 fb friends for having tinder? i opened a new fb weeks ago just for tinder and i didnt even need one single friend

50 friends lets you bypass the sms verification

I think I made a mistake and took two different FB Accounts to authorize Tinder and now I get the following message “you have already authorized tinder” when sending the phone number for verification. I tried it several times.

My question is:
(1) Is it enough taking a different phone number?
(2) Can I keep this FB profile or do I need a different one? It's only for Tinder anyway.
(3) Do I have to uninstall Tinder on my smart phone for this and reinstall it. Is this enough?


Additional question: Which GPS Faker works on the smart phone actually?

Thanks for your help!

What's the best thing to do in a situation like this.

So I matched with a girl, looks fairly decent.

We arrange to meet next Saturday. Conversation then goes like this:

......
Me: "Great. What's your number?"
Her: "Let's just arrange it from here. Can you go for coffee for weekend or weekday?"
Me: "Weekend. Let's do Saturday afternoon."
Her: "Sure, see you on saturday then."
Me: "I'll be in the city at 4. Let's meet in front of ...... along ...... at 4 pm"
Her: "Will ...... suit you? It's a bit too hard for me to get to ......"
Me: "Let's do corner of ...... and ..... street then. I'll be around that area" (this location is half way between my first suggestion and her suggestion)
........

I could go to her location, a little bit of effort, but I didn't want to seem like I was chodey and following everything she says. Essentially, I want to show I am still leading. Is this wrong though? Especially from a Tinder match? Btw, I already have other things planned in case she flakes, since I assume this is high on Tinder matches.

(08-11-2016 03:57 PM)JWLZG Wrote:  [quote='RedPillUK' pid='1370916' dateline='1470937011']
In my opinion, the remark about her being a good girl was perfect, organic and perfectly timed.. but at that point instead of changing the subject, trying to build any comfort or plans with her.. you just got excited and tried to escalate it futher, which is unnecessary and normally counterproductive. It came off a bit desperate.

Also, the lines you used afterwards were lame and sound like weak gamey canned lines, even though they're probably not, they just come across that way. Come on, read this again and tell me what the point of saying this is?

"I'm not necessarily after a good girl, just my type of girl. Is that you?"

Gay.

That sounds like something Style and Mystery would say and girls get these lame lines all the time now, as guys think talking like this is 'game.' It will probably work in a club or bar and get girls laughing if they're drinking, but online? Nah.

Also, I don't know if they consciously realise these are lines from the game, but they just don't work well and they're normally incongruent with your character. Whenever I've used lines like that, I always get shot down, girls can feel you're not being completely real and trying to game them.

So she replied to that with some sarcy I don't even know you shit because she felt creeped out by you with those lines.

So you follow it up with another creepy line. "aww why don't you pop your number..."

Be condescending in person, online she's still got her bitch shield up.. also way too soon, no comfort or future plans/ideas for a possible date mentioned at that point. It was like a hail mary attempt at salvaging her number from a poor interaction.

I hope I haven't been too over the top harsh, I'm trying to tone that down. This is just how I see it and thought it would be constructive to point it out.

Yeh I mean this guy is right. Kinda shocked at the amount of bitter guys in this thread - one thing is for sure if you think this is good game you're not going to get results on Tinder - not trying to insult you but perhaps to explain why the guys are so bitter.

While your framing is good like the dude above said your 2nd comment was good, although maybe a tiny bit aggressive, but the comment "is that you" just came out of left field, and looks like a "game" comment - like you could have said it to anyone (so she will interpret it as "a line"). Your comments need to be organic and hopefully specific to the interaction between the two of you. What you said just doesn't really apply to your interaction. Honestly if a girl said this to me I would be pretty fuckin weirded out - that's a good test to run. You can see you kinda lost her there, yet you asked for her number. Probably would have taken a while to recover anyway, onwards and upwards

I know this is extremely unlikely but has anyone tried putting "looking for a relationship" in their profile? That is the case for me, and I was wondering if putting it in would help or hurt me, though obviously as a male I am OK for one off hookups that don't lead anywhere, it's just not my preference.

Maybe put "looking for something more serious". To be fair, if I notice this on a girls profile I become more inclined to swipe left because I think it's lame (oh hypocrisy), but I wonder if it would get me more matches in reverse. My instinct actually tells me this would not be a good thing to put, but I'd be interested to hear thoughts.

(08-18-2016 01:10 PM)MFSEX Wrote:  I know this is extremely unlikely but has anyone tried putting "looking for a relationship" in their profile? That is the case for me, and I was wondering if putting it in would help or hurt me, though obviously as a male I am OK for one off hookups that don't lead anywhere, it's just not my preference.

Maybe put "looking for something more serious". To be fair, if I notice this on a girls profile I become more inclined to swipe left because I think it's lame (oh hypocrisy), but I wonder if it would get me more matches in reverse. My instinct actually tells me this would not be a good thing to put, but I'd be interested to hear thoughts.

Maybe I'm not answering your question now but I guess that as a guy in today's world, i think what you want is to be the sort of guy who is pretty much a player and have girls chasing YOU down for a relationship. You should be "spinning plates" and a girl has to earn you, not the other way round where you are trying to chase down these girls for a relationship.

I become more and more certain that the relationship dynamic almost has to be like that in order to become really successfull. It's nature, the woman has to be the one looking for monogamy.
When chicks ask me what I'm looking for there I'm just honest and tell them that I would be willing to look into a relationship if I really connect with the chick (basically saying there's a chance and is gonna be a challenge).

I don't know if Ihink a line like that is so great since I think it the risk is that it puts you in this "beta" boyfriend-guy frame, a guy who has very limited options. Say what you want about Rollo Tomasi but his book The Rational Male explains this very well I think.

Btw, I remember seeing this chick on there who wrote
"Only serious offers!
Done playing around sleeping with different guys. Already gotten my fair share." Maybe you could put something like that lol.

Any chance I fucked this one up by not getting to the point?

I sent it close to midnight last night; prior to, we took less than a few hours to reply.

The gig and snowy forest refers to her pics; she's a musician and a model.

I had to rush off my last message. In hindsight, I should've number closed in my last message: "Maybe, pop your number here and we'll see".

I don't know if I can across as too wishy-washy in the end; unless I'm reading into it too much.

(08-18-2016 11:10 PM)JWLZG Wrote:  I had to rush off my last message. In hindsight, I should've number closed in my last message: "Maybe, pop your number here and we'll see".

I don't know if I can across as too wishy-washy in the end; unless I'm reading into it too much.

Don't tell her you're waiting for her to take you anywhere. You are the male. It is your job to lead. And yes, you need to number close earlier.

^ yeah she either overlooked overlooked first point or forgave it.

On number closing, does it look like I've lost her already? Seems a waste when it had been going so warmly.

(08-18-2016 11:39 PM)JWLZG Wrote:  ^ yeah she either overlooked overlooked first point or forgave it.

On number closing, does it look like I've lost her already? Seems a waste when it had been going so warmly.

You got to get that sweet spot between building comfort with her and then asking for the number.

She's already attracted by your profile so some comfort building is good. It doesn't have to be perfect as long as you take the lead. You don't need to neg her too much, etc.

You'll sense that point where it's time to take it off tinder and on to whatsapp. I use the same thing each time:

"You seem cool, what's your number. I prefer texting on whatsapp"

(08-19-2016 09:01 AM)fenetre Wrote:  You got to get that sweet spot between building comfort with her and then asking for the number.

She's already attracted by your profile so some comfort building is good. It doesn't have to be perfect as long as you take the lead. You don't need to neg her too much, etc.

You'll sense that point where it's time to take it off tinder and on to whatsapp. I use the same thing each time:

"You seem cool, what's your number. I prefer texting on whatsapp"

Too much like hard work. I want to get her out for drinks then try to get her into my bed, not make her my text buddy.

Push for the number in your 2nd or 3rd message. I don't want to chat, I want to take her for a drink. So tell her that. What use is a dating app if she needs two weeks of texting before she'll even think about meeting in real life?

You can do all the comfort chit-chat bullshit over text/whatsapp, without wasting your time on girls who don't want to give you the number and don't want to meet you.

No girl on Tinder is worth any of your time unless she will meet you in real life.

I don't think there's much you could've done here. I've seen your other posts and your text game is on point. I suspect this girl would've jumped ship anyways, probably when you asked for # or talked date logistics.

There seems to be a theme with the hotter online girls, which is when you don't give them enough to respond to they won't respond (like your last response). Not saying to ask questions every text but there should be a clear conversational continuation. I've started to view myself as a chaperone while texting these girls. I try to make it super easy for them to latch on to something I say. Witty laconic Balkan, while impressive in person, goes largely unappreciated over text. I've been going into storytelling mode and generally giving longer, richer replies allowing the more autistic chicks more ammo to get back to me. I also send gifs, lifestyle pictures, call, videochat, send voicenotes, but that's all post tinder # close.

The issue with this though, like Fenetre posted, is you might start getting a fuckton of numbers but as long as they're from online the vast majority will flake sometime pre-date. I probably have several of these interactions you posted a week.

Edit: To give you something concrete you could've texted instead. "You seem cool. text me with lots of smiley faces. xxx-xxx-xxxx"

(08-18-2016 06:16 PM)BrunoCasanova Wrote:  

(08-18-2016 01:10 PM)MFSEX Wrote:  I know this is extremely unlikely but has anyone tried putting "looking for a relationship" in their profile? That is the case for me, and I was wondering if putting it in would help or hurt me, though obviously as a male I am OK for one off hookups that don't lead anywhere, it's just not my preference.

Maybe put "looking for something more serious". To be fair, if I notice this on a girls profile I become more inclined to swipe left because I think it's lame (oh hypocrisy), but I wonder if it would get me more matches in reverse. My instinct actually tells me this would not be a good thing to put, but I'd be interested to hear thoughts.

Maybe I'm not answering your question now but I guess that as a guy in today's world, i think what you want is to be the sort of guy who is pretty much a player and have girls chasing YOU down for a relationship. You should be "spinning plates" and a girl has to earn you, not the other way round where you are trying to chase down these girls for a relationship.

I become more and more certain that the relationship dynamic almost has to be like that in order to become really successfull. It's nature, the woman has to be the one looking for monogamy.
When chicks ask me what I'm looking for there I'm just honest and tell them that I would be willing to look into a relationship if I really connect with the chick (basically saying there's a chance and is gonna be a challenge).

I don't know if Ihink a line like that is so great since I think it the risk is that it puts you in this "beta" boyfriend-guy frame, a guy who has very limited options. Say what you want about Rollo Tomasi but his book The Rational Male explains this very well I think.

Btw, I remember seeing this chick on there who wrote
"Only serious offers!
Done playing around sleeping with different guys. Already gotten my fair share." Maybe you could put something like that lol.

Meh, reasonable answer. I certainly know what you're saying, it does seem like you would have the most success playing the hard to get guy who gets to choose between the girls, especially in the way the market is structured (i.e. this kind of guy is a rarity).

However, I think the problem lies in the outlook of "really successful". What does that mean when looking for a girlfriend? You get to go on say 10 dates, and hopefully you connect with one enough to start a relationship (If you're being at all selective ten should be enough). Perhaps if looking for a relationship, we don't want the girl who is after the so-called plate-spinner - i.e. your typical narcissist trying to bang away his self esteem issues (most guys here), but more a girl who is interested in you at face value, rather than where you stack up in the hierarchy. Hopefully you would feel the same about her.

That being said, seeing I fit into the narcissist category and am trying to break out of it, it's hard not to take the strategy which gets your foot in the most doors, which is the basis of successful online dating. So I agree with you on the latter part of your post, that it's probably just a bad idea (limited options guy frame probably excludes you from a lot of normal girls radars even).

I posted this in another thread but want to discuss it here with the masses...

(07-22-2016 04:12 PM)Balkan Wrote:  

(07-22-2016 03:39 PM)Kid Twist Wrote:  

(07-21-2016 09:25 PM)Balkan Wrote:  I PM'ed you. Your bio is like a VP candidate. It can't help you but it can hurt you.

Always strive to say something nonverbally > verbally. Verbal is the poor man's nonverbal. It's more eloquent and gives more tingles. Even if you very obviously select pictures with your short ass friends, it's better than listing your height. I don't think this would make a different either way though. I PM'ed you a link to BlurredSevens pictures thread. Tinder is 99% pictures. If you're not getting matches and you're not tagged in their algorithm, then you need better pictures.

"Tagged in the algorithm"?

Explain, please.

I have a friend that worked at tinder. Also, reference this quora post. Basically, tinder has an algorithm that ranks users on how attractive they are. It's a function of how many people right swipe on you, your activity, how often you change locations, your pickiness, how often you open, your response rate, etc. So if you're killing it, your profile would be shown to a lot of girls and often near the top of their stack.

There are several things you can do, mainly getting caught for using an auto-liker and not messaging matches, that lower you within their algorithm. I know some guys kill it on tinder using an auto-liker and some will suddenly say they stop getting matches and tinder sucks. Seems to be random with who gets caught. When you get "tagged" a girl you right swiped might never have the opportunity to right swipe you. They show your profile less and lower on the stack. It's like getting ghost banned. The tagging seems to be related to your facebook, which is related to your phone number.

I went through a period when I was traveling a lot. I would stay in certain locations for a few days each and swipe furiously on tinder to scope the local talent. Often, I was out of town the next morning and never messaged 90% of these girls. My tinder match rate plummeted for a while afterwards. I added some new pictures, messaged all my matches even if I was just an emoticon, went on more frequently, opened tinder whenever I changed locations, and slowly my match rate came back up. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Let's get back to talking about the algorithm. What else can we do to up our algorithm rate?

I know one thing I've changed is my swipe rate. I used to swipe right on pretty much every girl, and then unmatch the uglies, but I think this was killing my rank. I would get a lot of girls I'd match with, but I couldn't bring myself to message them because I wasn't too interested. Now, I only swipe right on girls I know 100% I would meet up with, and then I start the conversation.

I swipe left on most girls, but that's more of a side effect of getting picky. If her bio is "my hobbies include netflix and pizza" I know she will be boring and I swipe left. I message every girl I match with now, I still have good pictures and get matched with a bunch.

My question is, I have a ton of old matches that I haven't messaged yet. They're either girls like above, where I prioritized hotter girls, or they're girls in cities that I've left and never got around to messaging. Chance of me banging them is near zero. From an algorithm standpoint, what is the best way to use these girls to up my rank? Message them all so that they message me back, and then don't unmatch?

No one knows how the algorithm works except the developers that made it up, and because of the large variance in Tinder matches, it's pretty much impossible to tell if any change results in more matches or not.

Anything you try is going to be pure conjecture.

(08-18-2016 11:27 PM)corsega Wrote:  

(08-18-2016 11:10 PM)JWLZG Wrote:  I had to rush off my last message. In hindsight, I should've number closed in my last message: "Maybe, pop your number here and we'll see".

I don't know if I can across as too wishy-washy in the end; unless I'm reading into it too much.

Don't tell her you're waiting for her to take you anywhere. You are the male. It is your job to lead. And yes, you need to number close earlier.

(08-19-2016 09:56 AM)Benoit Wrote:  

(08-19-2016 09:01 AM)fenetre Wrote:  You got to get that sweet spot between building comfort with her and then asking for the number.

She's already attracted by your profile so some comfort building is good. It doesn't have to be perfect as long as you take the lead. You don't need to neg her too much, etc.

You'll sense that point where it's time to take it off tinder and on to whatsapp. I use the same thing each time:

"You seem cool, what's your number. I prefer texting on whatsapp"

Too much like hard work. I want to get her out for drinks then try to get her into my bed, not make her my text buddy.

Push for the number in your 2nd or 3rd message. I don't want to chat, I want to take her for a drink. So tell her that. What use is a dating app if she needs two weeks of texting before she'll even think about meeting in real life?

You can do all the comfort chit-chat bullshit over text/whatsapp, without wasting your time on girls who don't want to give you the number and don't want to meet you.

No girl on Tinder is worth any of your time unless she will meet you in real life.

All good, number-closed in the next line after, arranged something for Tuesday. Still waiting for a confirmation (I waited overnight to respond ). She asked where I'm located which is a good sign. Lesson learnt from you guys though.

@ Benoit - yeah that's my modus operandi; number close as soon as possible -- within 4 messages each, then keep the texting to a minimum towards logistics. If she's super slutty/DTF, the more matter-of-fact it'd be. Mainly because my text banter game isn't yet stellar, but you're right in that I'm not one of her girlfriends.

This one seems to have slipped past my fingers. I've had 2 Tinder matches who went overseas at the time we were arranging a date. Needless to say, they eventually flaked. All 3 are doctors.

My opener refers to her last pic, her reply refers to my bio (thanks to Cronus for the idea). I stole the autistic dolphins reply off somewhere on RVF.

Glad I handled the response to her last question all right. Even Cambridge-educated medicos wouldn't appreciate it if I'd responded with something too try-hard (which I've done in the past ).

^^^^

Tinder in the West requires elite level thinking on feet, high levels of humor and general knowledge levels. Making puns, being funny, tell jokes. Incredible. All that and no date. What the fuck.

In China I send a few normal messages, see what night they are available and get a drink. If they don't want to, I erase them.

Its difficult for me to believe the Herculean efforts guys are putting into dates with average looking chicks in the west.

I will say its fun reading the back and forth since I don't get much of that in China. When I joke like that in Chinese with girls they don't get it since they think Im being serious or they understand Im joking but don't understand why I would joke that way. Jobs are for showing status in their minds. Im better off being vague and getting them to ask me more so I get them invested in learning about me.