Post: #1

I am sure this came up before, but I did a search under "no car" and nothing really came up.

I do own a car but it's in Canada. I am currently in Poland. There's no need for a car and I just take a taxi or walk. I also don't speak Polish. If I speed and get caught then what the fuck happens when the Police ticket me and I can't understand anything they say? The tricky part is the girl is not convinced I am staying here long term.

How should I respond?

I was thinking something like:

a) Lie. Yes I own a car. (Then just go rent one).

b) Truth with straight explanation. I prefer to walk and take a taxi if it's somewhere far.

C) Truth with some humor. No I don't have a car. Forgot to pack my Driver''s License.

D) Truth with some reassurance that I could afford one. I don't have a car, but it's not because of money, I could get one easy if I needed one. (which is true).

Any advice?

Post: #2

If the girl is not convinced you are staying long term it is not because you don't have a car, it's other things leading her to that conclusion. Guys here go all around the world and not having a car is never an issue.

What you say and your actions are what will contribute to her perception of your intentions.

What have you told her you're doing there?

Post: #3

Tell her you're saving up to get a sweet new motorbike

Post: #4

(07-25-2016 02:15 PM)GlobalMan Wrote:  If the girl is not convinced you are staying long term it is not because you don't have a car, it's other things leading her to that conclusion. Guys here go all around the world and not having a car is never an issue.

What you say and your actions are what will contribute to her perception of your intentions.

What have you told her you're doing there?

I told her I was staying indefinitely and working for a friend's IT company.

Post: #5

Two scenarios

1) she's attracted to you, but she's afraid that you're a tourist

2) she's a gold digger

The car question is a smoke screen. Pay attention to her sub communications.

WIA

Post: #6

(07-25-2016 02:35 PM)Pokerbaby Wrote:  

(07-25-2016 02:15 PM)GlobalMan Wrote:  If the girl is not convinced you are staying long term it is not because you don't have a car, it's other things leading her to that conclusion. Guys here go all around the world and not having a car is never an issue.

What you say and your actions are what will contribute to her perception of your intentions.

What have you told her you're doing there?

I told her I was staying indefinitely and working for a friend's IT company.

And she has expressed doubt about this because you don't have a car? Or is this just something you anticipate?

It should be a very simple reply of "I don't need one". If you want, you can add that it's just an unnecessary complication to own a car as a foreigner.

I still don't see a Polish girl pressing this issue about a car, the situation you've given her is perfectly normal. If she does go on about this, something more is afoot as WIA suggested.

Post: #7

(07-25-2016 01:35 PM)Pokerbaby Wrote:  I was thinking something like:

a) Lie. Yes I own a car. (Then just go rent one). Don't do this.

b) Truth with straight explanation. I prefer to walk and take a taxi if it's somewhere far. Obviously owning the truth is simple and can be the best response.

C) Truth with some humor. No I don't have a car. Forgot to pack my Driver''s License. If you're funny and this is natural, sure go ahead, but not needed. If it's forced, no.

D) Truth with some reassurance that I could afford one. I don't have a car, but it's not because of money, I could get one easy if I needed one. (which is true). Don't say this. You can very, very indirectly imply this, but don't explain. (never complain, never explain)

Any advice?

There's so much context missing from this question. Were you setting up a date and she asked? If so, just tell her you'll pick her up at 8 and never her mind...just show up in a taxi or ride service. Brush off the question.

But don't brush off the question out of defensiveness...she'll sniff that out like a coon-hound.

I'm going to call bull-shit on this:
"I don't have a car, but it's not because of money, I could get one easy if I needed one."

Unless you're an outlier among men and don't like driving things, I'm guessing if you had all the money in the world you'd have a car/truck/bike. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you couldn't easily get one if needed...but the fact (1) you're a man, (2) that you posted the question on RVF, and (3) that one of the options you list was to lie about having one and then renting one...tells me that if you had all the money in the world you'd have a car to drive around.

It's ok, we've all been there saying "it's not because of the money" when many times, money is a factor. It doesn't mean there aren't other factors (you're comfortable not being in control of everything, you aren't tied to material possessions, your value as a man isn't in your set of wheels)...it just mean money is a factor.

(the billionaire without a car wouldn't explain that money isn't the reason)

Post: #8

Well im living in downtown Ottawa at the moment, and what I would say is I use uber and im a minimalist. I would also talk about owning a car at age 19 blahblah. But im looking to here other people's answers.

Post: #9

You're playing into her frame (allowing yourself to be qualified) by even thinking about this.

I'm asking the Op now: what's the real reason you don't have a car?

Whatever it is, go with that. And don't give it a second thought.

I permanently relocated to Kiev and whenever I get asked this my answer is always the same: "Nope, and I don't want one." it also happens to be the truth.

The discussion about my having a car has never continued after my answer.

Post: #10

Pokerbaby,

do you in Poland live in a city or in the suburbs/outback where a car is expected?

Post: #11

Now that I'm thinking, who cares what the question is?

Do you have a car?
Do you even lift?
Do you have a job?
Can you read?

It's the context... she's testing your frame (she doesn't actually care if you have a car or not).

Here's a one size fits all answer: "No. It's not interesting."
By saying this you hold frame and let her know she's boring. Now it's your turn to qualify her (make her enter your frame).

Post: #12

I am in a small Polish town (Bialystok). There is no reason to get a car. I live in the city center and there's nothing really driving distance away I wish to see.

I told her I walk and take Taxis, she seemed ok with it.

Post: #13

Tell her the truth.

"I overanalyze everything and rehearsed the perfect answer to impress you when and if you asked about me having a car."

Post: #14

OP, generally you're better off not saying things that come across as trying to explain yourself or give excuses before someone asks why you do something. Give a short, direct answer and if they want to know more, the conversation can continue on your terms.

Post: #15

Having a car is nice since you can have foreplay or sex inside it.

If you can afford going everywhere with Uber, you don't have to drive, find a parking spot, spend on mantainence... depending where you live, it's totally worth it.

For OP question: you can say you hate traffic and you have a driver (uber).

Post: #16

"nah i uber" or "i uber"

Post: #17

None of the above.

"I have access to a fleet of cars." (No explanation needed, your local taxi or limo company and uber)

Post: #18

Just say you don't have a car. If it's a dealbreaker to her, she doesn't want you for the same reason you want her.