I'm not going to coddle you. This will be harsh, but you need to hear it.
You are inexperienced with women and haven't learnt how to Speak Girl. Their need to maintain social status by remaining likeable to everyone gets them into situations like yours, when their inability to send out clear signals of sexual and emotional disinterest strings a clueless guy along and eventually forces them into the awkward situation of telling him that they only think of him
as a friend.
I believe girls decide within the first 5 seconds of meeting you if they'd potentially fuck you or not. Nothing you can do will make a girl who isn't interested in fucking you want to fuck you - if it happens it's a combination of pity / guilt by feeling they 'owe' the man something, which will only lead to shame and the complete collapse of the 'friendship'.
However, if a woman
is interested in fucking you, everything you do risks making her lose interest in fucking you. Classic examples: Compliment. Cuddle. Profess your love. Cling. Suffocate. See her as an idealised phantasm of who you wish she was, not who she actually is. Not listen to her clear signals of disinterest.
I've been alive for 45 years, and women's behaviour when it comes to guys they don't want to fuck is as constant as ever.
Let me clearly spell this out for you:
(06-12-2016 06:35 PM)Tyrion Wrote: We started to hang out a lot and I became her "best" guy friend.
That because she doesn't want to fuck you.
Quote:She started sharing her secrets, past life, and all.
She doesn't need to hide anything from you, because she's not trying to inflate her status around you so you want to girlfriend her up, since she doesn't want to fuck you.
Quote:Cutting to the chase--we started to become really close. We'll cuddle, become cozy while watching movies, and care for each other so on.
She'll take your affection and attention when it's offered, but it doesn't change the fact that she doesn't want to fuck you.
Quote:We both knew its not a friendship anymore.
You're projecting, because she doesn't want to fuck you, and this is where she started becoming uncomfortable around you.
Quote:In one of these moments she asked me if I liked her and I played the right game and told her that it was more than liking blah blah (which was kind of true as I was falling for her).
Which was when she clearly-realised she was caught in the standard female bind of enjoying the attention and affection from you, and not wanting to risk losing that supply by being honest about the fact she doesn't want to fuck you.
Quote:Things escalated. Pretty quick. In next couple of meetings, we hooked up.
She doesn't want to fuck you, but now she's feeling obligated to give you a chance, because she feels guilty that she's led you on.
Quote:Things got really intensely physical (sex didn't happen).
Because she doesn't want to fuck you, and attempting to get intimate with you only strengthened her initial decision.
Quote:Now today, all of a sudden, she texts me and tells me that we should create some distance.
Because she doesn't want to fuck you enough to have thought of a logical excuse, and is trying to let you down gently.
Quote:She says she is confused whether she likes me or is it just temporary feeling because I care for her and all.
Because she doesn't want to fuck you enough to have thought of a second excuse, and is trying to let you down gently.
Quote:Also, she says that doesn't want to get too involved into all this since I'll be graduating soon from college and move away.
Because she doesn't want to fuck you enough to have thought of a third excuse, and is trying to let you down gently.
Quote:Moreover, her family is kind of religious and they would not marry outside of their certain religious creed (of which I am not a part of).
Because she doesn't want to fuck you enough to have thought of a fourth excuse, and is trying to let you down gently.
Quote:She feels that becoming physically too close will only make it harder for both of us later on.
Because she doesn't want to fuck you enough to have thought of a fifth excuse, doesn't even you want you touching her, and is trying to let you down gently.
Quote:She wants to be practical because she says she knows that it is not gonna work out due to various factors (I kind of know that. Her family will NEVER let her marry me).
Because she doesn't want to fuck you enough to have thought of a sixth excuse, is telling you she doesn't want an emotional relationship with you, and is trying to let you down gently.
Quote:She told me not to be nice to her or treat her special because she falls weak emotionally and ends up too close to me.
She doesn't want to fuck you or have an emotional relationship with you, and doesn't even want you thinking of her a romantic prospect in the future, but is trying to let you down gently so you don't think she's a bitch.
Quote:I told her my feelings for her a natural and I'd continue to treat her the way I did before.
Why would you say this? She just told you in multiple girlspeak rationalisations that she doesn't want to fuck you, or have an emotional relationship with you and wants you to move on and find someone else.
Quote:She said then in that case, she is clear from her side and she'll distance herself on her own
Which called her bluff, forcing her to admit she doesn't want to fuck you or have an emotional relationship with you, and is trying to let you down gently so you don't think she's a bitch.
Quote:(although she doesn't want to lose me as a friend).
Huh. Imagine if female behaviour had been observed and discussed at great lengths enough that there was a name for being exiled to No Pussy Land by a woman using this exact phrasing...
Your update only makes matters worse. You just compounded her discomfort then - seemingly by accident - made the first alpha move of your relationship and
negged her about her virginity, which made her play wounded fawn and get intimate with you, so you see how rare and precious and frightened she is, so as you don't think she's
that kind of girl.
She still doesn't want to fuck you or have an emotional relationship with you. She just wants you to think she's
struggling with her feelings for you - that it's a
real battle for her - so you don't think she's
easy. Which won't stop the Fadeaway, but will just extend it a little longer, to the discomfort of all concerned.
It was enough of a Nuclear Neg, that she's still looking for validation from you the next morning;
Quote:she texted me and told me that how shocked and offended she was from my questioning of her virginity
Powerful stuff. This kind of passive aggression should be expected from a woman from a traditional religious background who could suffer social ramifications for being thought of as a 'slut' or one who 'leads boys on'.
Quote:I, offcourse, apologized and told her I didn't mean it that way and blah blah...
And you immediately blow it. Having freely-offered her validation, you're back to being the guy she doesn't want to fuck or have an emotional relationship with.
If you keep guilting and bullying her into a relationship, she will grow to hate you a little more, day by day. I once saw a girl break into a violent, sobbing rage and attack her friendzoned orbiter of 15+ years, who just always refused to accept the reality that she wasn't, and would never be interested. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"
That's the kind of bitter hate you're planting in her day after day with
your refusal to hear.
I know enough about women and their behaviour to be able to predict it. I know what qualities attract them in a man, and can put myself in their shoes easily enough. You are making statement after statement that repels me and makes my Theoretical Pussy dry up, because it sounds creepy, delusional and borderline abusive. This is going beyond beta behaviour: you're crossing into the delusional reality of the Gamma Male, where you're living out some grand romantic fantasy in your head where she's the actress in your movie, not paying attention to her disinterest in taking part to the extent that she'll sleep in a car to shield herself from you.
Do you know how many girls at school would laugh about the clueless guys they'd friendzoned? Do you know how many girlfriends have described their Orbiters to me over the years, completely creeped out? Do you know how many women write about this exact behaviour in a mocking, disgusted way? Do you know just how
standard your story is?
Stop wasting your time and find a girl who doesn't see you 'that way'.
Do you know how I know when a girl doesn't think of me as 'just a friend'?
- When she doesn't stop me fingerbanging her hard in an alley across from an alfresco restaurant.
- When she goes down on me under a doona when her 'date' for the evening is in the same room, cluelessly playing video games.
- When I overhear her bragging to her friends about our sex life and I grin hearing how much she's exaggerating my size.
- When I get that drowsy, warm rush of pleasure as I shake off the night's sleep to discover that she's decided to wake me up with a BJ
- When she comes to my office to get fucked whilst her clueless husband is waiting with the car downstairs.
- When her foot is rubbing my crotch under the dinner table as I talk to her family.
- When she walks up to me at a concert and opens with "You're coming home with me."
- When shes lifts her skirt in a public stairwell to allow me entry from behind, because she can't wait.
- When she's pretending to be asleep on my shoulder on a plane, but is giving me a slow, gentle handjob under the blanket.
- When she never hesitates to swallow.
Note the complete lack of logical excuses she's offering up for why she shouldn't do these things. She just does them, regardless.
Female passion is voracious, and doesn't care about propriety and social convention. Once you've experienced it, you will never again question where you stand with a woman.
This 'i'm not sure of my feelings for you' bullshit you're going through now - and it is bullshit - just doesn't happen in a passionate relationship.
I've never had a girl ask me if 'I liked them or not' since mid-High School. Women always know if I'm interested or not very quickly in our interactions. Life's too short to fuck around with hesitation. Take the bull by the horns early, and a woman is more likely to respect you by taking the coward's route of being her best friend in the hopes of transitioning it into a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. If she shoots you down, so what? You didn't waste your time or hers.