Post: #76

One of the false presumptions is that the OP has nothing to lose by trying to "flip the narrative" and score with this chick.

Even if you disregard time and energy spent, anyone who's been in this situation before knows that if you fail you don't simply shrug your shoulders and walk away. It cuts, often deep, and it tends to be the kind of wound that makes you weak on your future approaches.

The longer you try to ply the girl, the deeper the cut when you fail, and the OP has made it quite apparent that there's some real puppy dog love going on here, whether he's willing to admit it or not.

Cutting your losses is the smart move. Digging yourself deeper with little prospect of success is like betting your knees with the bookie.

This is of course all academic now. I think the OP has moved on, if they weren't simply messing with us in the first place.

Post: #77

Quote:I agree with Hank Moody and Red_Pillage here. You've classically friend-zoned yourself by being her friend.

You even said that you're going to keep doing the things you did before you got more intense with her, like kiss her on the forehead.

One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

The simple fact is that girls come into your life for a variety of reasons…but girls stay because they become attached to the emotions you create in them.

Many of the posters here are in consensus, informed by experience, that this is a lost cause. However, OP and a couple other seasoned guys would rather he continue wading in the muck so that he may learn a thing or two about game.

And since there's little chance of OP changing his MO, maybe we can point out some basic guidelines that will point him in the general direction he yearns so much to head.

Quote:Cutting to the chase--we started to become really close. We'll cuddle, become cozy while watching movies, and care for each other so on.

Quote:Now today, all of a sudden, she texts me and tells me that we should create some distance. She says she is confused whether she likes me or is it just temporary feeling because I care for her and all

Quote:I told her my feelings for her a natural and I'd continue to treat her the way I did before. She said then in that case, she is clear from her side and she'll distance herself on her own (although she doesn't want to lose me as a friend).

First, it will be helpful to break the "bad" habits above that have developed thus far. The aim here is to create enough “confusion” in her so that I can slip in, and plant a new idea into her mind. The issue you’re facing is trying to seduce a girl that does not currently link you to someone she wants to be in a sexual relationship with.

Maybe she currently links you to being “a friend”. Maybe she links you to being the “quiet guy”, “the funny guy”, “the needy guy” “the creepy guy”… one thing is certain right now she is linking you to SOMETHING!

And That “link” is the first obstacle you need to overcome.

As long as that “link” exists she is going to fall into a familiar thought process when she’s around you. And that familiar thought process is going to prevent her from seeing you in the “romantic and sexual” way you desire. Which is why you need to BREAK that “link.” You break that “link” by using a pattern interrupt to create confusion.

In the case you posted here, there are various "links" you have created with this girl which you totally need to overhaul. But its up to you to analyze your behaviour around her to identify them and correct them so that you may achieve the results you desire. Some of these behaviors have already been pointed out by the more experienced members of the forum. Go through them and make the necessary changes.

Post: #78

On reflection, I was needlessly harsh, maybe in a bad mood or something, then again OP hasn't come back and posted yet, so maybe positive and elaborate advice is wasted sometimes on these lot, it's easier to tell them to go back to basics.

If you are still reading OP. Anonymous Bosch very helpfully described it all perfectly. I'm stunned at how well he described it all.

Post: #79

Thanks XXL for the responses. I don't think those will shed much light unless it's the OP responding to them. You stated that her secrets are probably very minor things, I suspect they aren't. We disagree and neither of us can know for sure until he response.

Quote:You clearly doesn't want to help him by replying this way. You're straight up dissing him. You're trying to put a newbie down by nitpicking anything you can [is it so bad he's too humble? really?] for an ego boost. I can nitpick and point out all the wrong things you say about game as easily.

I disagree. Perhaps I was harsh, but I think the responses are warranted. He's definitely playing this like a newbie and he posted it in the game section, not the newbie section, so there's an error on his part already. He's also left out key relevant details (such as her strict religion).

I absolutely want to help him, whether the help is to tell him to drop her because there's no future (which I heavily lean towards in this case) or whether the help is to get him in her pants or into her dowry or whatever you think is the case.

Unfortunately OP hasn't answered my questions, and he hasn't updated this thread.

Until that happens, we don't know if he's been able to improve the situation or exactly what the situation is.

If I were being harsh, I'd ask OP, have you broken free of the friend-zone? Are you about an hour into the romantic comedy where the girl realizes maybe she really does want the dude that kisses her on the forehead and is her intellectual equal?

I'm not, but it may end up being the relevant question here.

OP, please update us.