Post: #1

Greetings,

I'm new to the forum, been reading blogs on Roosh's website and bought a Ebook + state of man lecture.

What brings me here is I'm a beginner to the player lifestyle and I'm starting from the ground up. I recently left Toronto in March for a new life in Ottawa. I'm happy that I made the decision and move.

=== BACKGROUND INFO ===

Ethnicity: North Indian (Punjabi)
Height: 5 foot 10
Weight: 235 lb
Age: 27

I grew up in Toronto, Canada and at the age of 27 I have limited sexual experiences. Unfortunately I've had sex with only a few women, dated 2 as gf's, and had sex only a few times my whole life. I'm looking to fix this problem and start a new life in this new city.

Well you may wonder what has got me to this point, and here are my reasons.

1) Toronto - speaks for itself
2) premature hair loss - I started to lose my hair at age 19. Im a okay looking guy bald but it made it even more difficult in a hyper competitive dating market.
3) personal life problems - I grew up in a dysfunctional family where it was a matriarchy and even experienced domestic violence & abuse. My mother since a young age would be very possessive and abusive to me. She would snap at me for any small mistake. My father was emasculated and my mother would have to make decisions for him. He was out of alignment with his masculinity which had a negative impact on me. Also I experienced close family friends have divorces and experience domestic violence. A family that my family was close to and friends with had to call the police once because the husband would get drunk and beat his wife. I saw the police car take him away, it was surprising at a young age.

Also I grew up around a lot of negative people who would smoke weed, sell weed, and partake in criminal activities. Plus I was living in the suburbs and weed + masturbation makes you one passive individual.

Also having personal debts, getting kicked out of colleges, and getting into trouble also made things more difficult. Life has been a struggle for a while for me.

Lastly my personal hobbies, I got serious into music production at age 21 and was pursuing it vigorously until recently. I was willing to make a sacrifice of women since I wanted that to be my career and wanted to start a internet business revolved around music production.
I got the chance to meet 9th wonder and Just blaze, get into vinyl records, and attend beat battles plus music conferences in Toronto.

I also went on a spiritual journey for about 3 years where I got into Buddhism, was part of the 13th sun cult, went vegetarian than vegan and than explored a raw food diet.

Just recently I had to leave my home in March due to fighting with my mother and crashed at my cousins apartment in Ottawa. I got a job here as a security guard for govt sites (commisionaires). I also stopped speaking to almost all family and friends and have been a bit lonely. It's been a tough journey this life of mine.

4) weight gain - after I got into music production it's been difficult for me to lose my stubborn fat. Now at a whooping 235 lb ... Yes I know I realized certain diets and foods don't cut it for me. I believe stress and anxiety from everything also contributed. Also veganism and having a lack of protein in my diet contributed to my current weight gain. I'm figuring out the best diet and workout regiment. I was fat before and lost 50 lbs back in high school. So I can definately get back into shape.

5) low sex drive - my sex drive was low due to a lot of masturbation back in the day, veganism, and stress.

Right now I'm working as a security guard at a govt site. I make okay money for a security guard and looking to get into stock trading. It's a brand new field and looking to make a living off it.

What I want is...

To be a player where I have multiple sexual partners here in Ottawa, and have the ability to successfully date women here. I looking for direction because I know I need to get into shape, start making good money, get more experience in dating, and look my best. I also know sexual performance is important to keep a woman. I got myself a fleshlight and a shower mount for temporary practise.

So far living in Ottawa I gotten two women give me choosing signals and one of them approached me running game on me. As a fat bald guy so there's definately opportunity for me. Since I'm starting from the beginning I need direction...

After I take care of some of my health issues and get my sex drive up and kill this ED I got...

Should I work on my weight and appearance before I get into the game?

Should I focus on stock trading since I'm just getting into it and make a killing and just have a couple chicks until that kicks off?

Should I start hitting clubs bars or alternative venues?

Thanks for everything, cheers.

Post: #2

Also forgot to mention I would like to get in touch with people from Ottawa as well.

Post: #3

Don't wait to start getting into the game. There is always going to be something that prevents you from actually going out and talking to girls. After you get rid of ED you're going to think you need to lose weight, after you lose weight you're going to think you need more money, after you have more money you're going to think you need a fun hobby, then you're going to think you need to travel the world to have cool experiences to talk about. NO! You need to start talking to girls now! Start making your approaches NOW! The game will only get easier as you lose weight and make more money.

There are fat guys who get laid all the time. There are bald guys who get laid all the time. There are Indian guys, poor guys, and ugly guys who get laid all the time! But there is not a man on this earth who doesn't talk to women often who gets laid all the time. You need to be out there going after all of your goals, otherwise you will end up in a self-defeating thought loop.

Start losing weight with the Rapid Fat Loss diet. - /thread-48982.html
Start making more money driving for Uber or Lyft and doing other side-hustles. - /thread-27759.html
Keep doing your stock trading. Make dat money. Do all these things.

Your style of writing is very negative. Negative guys don't get laid. Forget about all of your past problems. They are in the past. Stop smoking weed if you still do. Get back into music production. Everyone needs hobbies, and this is a good one to have.

GET RID OF YOUR FUCKING FLESHLIGHT AND SHOWER MOUNT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ALMIGHTY WHO DOES THIS. PRACTICING SEX WITH A FLESHLIGHT WILL NOT HELP YOU PLEASE WOMEN DURING SEX. Read Mike Cernovich's/MikeCF's material on sex and go from there.

Now to directly answer a few of your questions: start with bars and nightclubs sure and do 100 approaches there. All while losing weight etc. You will get softly rejected 90 times, harshly a few, and a few will go well. Approach at least 7 girls a week (one a day if possible). Don't bother with online get quite yet as your profile is heavily reliant on pictures and you are currently fat. Get down to 180 lbs then start trying online game. If after you do 100 nightgame approaches you find that you really don't like it that much, do 100 daygame approaches and see if you like that more.

You've taken the most imporant step--deciding you want to do better. Now take action. I found this forum in 2013 and soaked up information for almost two years before trying any of the concepts I'd learned out. Once I started applying them, my learning accelerated a lot. I've learned 10x more in the past year from going out and applying game concepts in real life than I did in the previous 2+ years of just reading. I wish I'd started sooner.

So fuck your sob story and get out there. You're obviously a smart guy, so go take what you deserve.

Post: #4

Thanks for the advice

Post: #5

I do not think you should do game until you are under 200 lbs, it's not worth it, you will experience 100% rejection rate, unnecessary frustration, etc. Also it will distract you the main goal of weight loss, due to drinking, eating out.

Ideal is to drop under 180, maybe even 160, depending on your frame (how much muscle you naturally carry). Then you can look very attractive

Post: #6

Back in the day when I was 160 it was the ideal weight for me. So I have to drop to that until I start gaining muscle mass.

Post: #7

(06-11-2016 09:15 AM)InfraOrbital Wrote:  I do not think you should do game until you are under 200 lbs, it's not worth it, you will experience 100% rejection rate, unnecessary frustration, etc. Also it will distract you the main goal of weight loss, due to drinking, eating out.

Ideal is to drop under 180, maybe even 160, depending on your frame (how much muscle you naturally carry). Then you can look very attractive

Bad advice.

Post: #8

(06-07-2016 11:53 PM)Kapostatus13 Wrote:  1) Toronto - speaks for itself

Don't fall into the negativity. If you go to the maternity ward, chicks are still having babies.

(06-07-2016 11:53 PM)Kapostatus13 Wrote:  2) premature hair loss - I started to lose my hair at age 19. Im a okay looking guy bald but it made it even more difficult in a hyper competitive dating market.

What you look like is only important until you open your mouth.

(06-07-2016 11:53 PM)Kapostatus13 Wrote:  3) personal life problems -

{SNIP THIS BULLSHIT}

Everyone has a journey. Need to reframe all that shit and think of yourself as a survivor.

As your fellow Canadian said

(06-07-2016 11:53 PM)Kapostatus13 Wrote:  4) weight gain - after I got into music production it's been difficult for me to lose my stubborn fat. Now at a whooping 235 lb ... Yes I know I realized certain diets and foods don't cut it for me. I believe stress and anxiety from everything also contributed. Also veganism and having a lack of protein in my diet contributed to my current weight gain. I'm figuring out the best diet and workout regiment. I was fat before and lost 50 lbs back in high school. So I can definately get back into shape.

Well you know what the problem is, change your diet. Get back into the gym.

(06-07-2016 11:53 PM)Kapostatus13 Wrote:  5) low sex drive - my sex drive was low due to a lot of masturbation back in the day, veganism, and stress.

Right now I'm working as a security guard at a govt site. I make okay money for a security guard and looking to get into stock trading. It's a brand new field and looking to make a living off it.

What I want is...

Diet and no fap fixes that.

(06-07-2016 11:53 PM)Kapostatus13 Wrote:  To be a player where I have multiple sexual partners here in Ottawa, and have the ability to successfully date women here. I looking for direction because I know I need to get into shape, start making good money, get more experience in dating, and look my best. I also know sexual performance is important to keep a woman. I got myself a fleshlight and a shower mount for temporary practise.

Great sex for a woman is sex with a GREAT MAN. Not "great sex"

(06-07-2016 11:53 PM)Kapostatus13 Wrote:  Should I work on my weight and appearance before I get into the game?

External/Passive/Lifestyle game is the cherry on top, not game itself.

(06-07-2016 11:53 PM)Kapostatus13 Wrote:  Should I focus on stock trading since I'm just getting into it and make a killing and just have a couple chicks until that kicks off?

I've met plenty of rich dudes who tried that, and a lot more broke dudes who tried that - all of them sad and alone.

That's the strategy 3.5 billion men are trying.

IT'S NOT WORKING.

(06-07-2016 11:53 PM)Kapostatus13 Wrote:  Should I start hitting clubs bars or alternative venues?

You want good solid game, you need good solid socialization.

The second you wake up, you need to start talking to the man in the mirror.
Talk to your family and room mates before you leave the house.
Talk to the people on your train.
If you're stuck in traffic, look over at the next person and telegraph "Damn this shit sucks"

You get to work/school, talk to the security guard, cleaning staff, person at the store.

Talk to your classmates, co-workers.
Call your grandparents, your cousins, your aunts. Have a chat. About anything.

If there's an opportunity to go be with people - GO.

You basically need to kill all the fear you might have in talking to strangers.
Get used to talking to strangers.
Get used to extending a conversation.

Asking questions
Making observations, getting them to confirm.

Enjoying the socializing.

You'll be running rudimentary game from day 1.

By day 3-4 you're ready to run game.

Then come back here.

Guys w/o game are gonna tell you to do all this pre-work that doesn't matter. It's costing you time and money.

Without enjoying the socialization, you'll find yourself hating the game.
Most guys fail, especially with day game, because they just don't realize the importance of dealing with humans on a regular basis.

WIA

Post: #9

It might be tough for you at first and seem even illogical but the most important thing in my opinion is to work on every aspect of your life simultaneously. Don't wait for the right moment to talk to girls or start working out cause there is no such moment. You will always feel like you lack something, like you're not prepared well enough. After a year of consistent action and solid progress you will feel better than now but because your "status" will be higher your point of view will change so you will compare yourself to people above you. It's never ending cycle. Be aware of that.

Don't panic, you're just at that moment of your life, it can be dealt with taking consistent action, measuring progress and adjusting as you go.

I think proper diet should be number one priority in your life right now. This is the base that has to be handled quickly and properly. It will change your life. Everything else is secondary. Even working out will be ineffective if your diet sucks. Proper nutrition will give you energy, will help you lose fat and make you strong.

Post: #10

Great advice which I also need to apply.

Post: #11

(06-12-2016 05:47 AM)XXL Wrote:  I think proper diet should be number one priority in your life right now. This is the base that has to be handled quickly and properly. It will change your life. Everything else is secondary. Even working out will be ineffective if your diet sucks. Proper nutrition will give you energy, will help you lose fat and make you strong.

^Underrated reply here. I can attest to changing my diet from the SAD Diet (Standard American Diet) to the ketogenic diet literally changed my life.

WIA

Post: #12

Some notes:

Being bald doesn’t matter at all. I have been shaving my head bald since I was a teenager because I liked the look. I don’t think having a head full of hair would’ve changed my results. I suggest that you own it. In fact, since you are likely darker skinned, you can get away with being bald easier than if you were lighter skinned. Being bald is not the problem. Your insecurity is.

I’m not sure how to help you with your personal problems/past history.

I think you need to consider seeing a nutritionist for your weight. I used to weigh 235 lbs. I lifted heavy weights and ate constantly because I wanted to be a bulky powerlifter. I decided to switch to bodybuilding and, based on the dieting regime of my coach, I lost 20 lbs in 3 months. 80% of your body shape is determined by your diet. I think changing your diet to more non-soy protein sources, eating more fat and lifting more weights will help with your sex drive.

Throw away your flashlight and other sex toys; that stuff is no good for you.

Entering stock trading is fine but don’t assume that having money will make women automatically line up to date you. There are a lot of guys out here with high incomes with lack luster dating options.

You mention two women giving you signals and a woman approaching you but the important question is “how many women have you approached?” The more women you approach, the more women you will go on dates. The more dates you go on, the more you will get laid. If you find yourself saying “i’m not going on as many dates as I’d like” or “I’m not getting laid as much as I want”, it all comes down to you not approaching enough. Don’t expect women to approach you.

I’m not saying to sacrifice you life, hobbies and interests to approach women but you need to approach a lot to get results. If you are not approaching, you are not in the game. You should be doing bare minimum 10 approaches as week. Depending on how determined you are, increase it to 20-30. How ever many you approach, make it sustainable. You don’t want to get burned out.

You shouldn’t wait to get in shape and get money before you get into the game, you need to start today. The more money you have and the better you look, the things easier will be. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get results.

In fact, why did you give up your career as a hip hop producer? It is something you are passionate about and saying that you are a producer with your own company and have met Just Blaze and 9th Wonder is far more interesting to women than saying you are a stock trader.

For you, I’d suggest using social circle game and day game. You say you are interested in hip hop and Buddhism so talk to girls that are interested in hip hop, Buddhism, yoga, New Age stuff. Women like guys that are authorities on subjects and since you know a lot about it already, you’ll stand out. Also, you should focus on a target demographic. If you approach women that don’t consider a guy like you their type, you are more likely to get rejected.

Bars and clubs are the hardest places to meet women. You’ll have to go to them a lot before you get results. I wouldn’t focus on internet game either since it is visually based and there’s ton of competition.

But try social circles, day time, clubs and internet game and see which works best for you and what you like the most.

Post: #13

Appreciate the advice. Thanks y'all.

Post: #14

(06-12-2016 09:21 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

(06-12-2016 05:47 AM)XXL Wrote:  I think proper diet should be number one priority in your life right now. This is the base that has to be handled quickly and properly. It will change your life. Everything else is secondary. Even working out will be ineffective if your diet sucks. Proper nutrition will give you energy, will help you lose fat and make you strong.

^Underrated reply here. I can attest to changing my diet from the SAD Diet (Standard American Diet) to the ketogenic diet literally changed my life.

WIA

Diet game recognized I know what you mean, once I switched from my bullshit to intermittent fasting I can't go back. It's like a damn magic pill to be honest. Uncommon, super convenient, simple and effective.

OP I recommend it to you with all my heart.

Besides, you met Just Blaze and 9th Wonder? That shit cray. Isn't it kind of like Kanye came up? I'd kill to be in the same room with those guys, I'd flood them with my best beats, give it all away for them for free like it's nothing to me and seduce them my enthusiasm. Literally. Established guys love to watch young blood trying to "make it", it makes them reconnect to their [often lost] spirit and love for the game. I don't want to tell you what you should do cause who the fuck I am to do it but you're on a good path to make some noise especially that you're active and make connections in music industry. I mean no random schmuck can meet producers like that. Once you blow up you can be Fat like Joe and groupies will love it. Good luck man.

Post: #15

Appreciate it. Speaking of meeting 9th wonder and Just Blaze. I met them at music producer conferences in Toronto. I remember seeing Stalley and Boi 1da at the conferences and beat battles as well. I was into music production for a while but the reason I left is a lack of passion and life circumstances. Music production requires a lot of time and resources to achieve excellence. Plus the music industry is dead financially speaking. Music producers don't really make money like they used to. Sure success is still possible but longevity and lifestyle are also things I desire. I remember those 12 hour sessions and just learning everything ... I also had a chance to briefly speak with just blaze and 9th. I even saw just blaze make a beat infront of me on his laptop at the conference. It was a good experience and enjoyed it. All I can say about music, everything isn't what it's cracked up
To be.

Post: #16

I'm interested in how producers make money from their music now. From what I know an artist picks a beat and pays for it. Anything changed? I know that music don't sell since everything is online now, people use mainly youtube to listen to music at home. There are also deals with other brands but that's only for established guys. I always thought producers still make the most of the money cause artists and companies come to them for beats, jingles, tracks, etc.

Is it possible to make professionally sounding beat just on laptop now, no studio, panels, equipment?

Post: #17

The way for modern hip hop/Rnb producers to make money now is by having a beat selling site. People would go on a site like soundclick or myflashstore make an account, make a profile and upload beats to the site. They would sell leases(where you have been giving permission to use music but don't own) and exclusive(one individual has full ownership). There is a chart system on soundclick and ppl spend money on advertising to get up on the charts because ppl looking to buy beats go there first to check it out.

Leases go anywhere on avg from 20 - 40 a beat exclusives from 100 - 1000+. People that usually by music use it for YouTube videos, advertisements, background music, to make songs on, and etc. People make good money on soundclick if they market promote brand and have a good quality product.

I had a friend in la he started making 1k - 2k a month and then moved up to 7-8k in a year span. He spent a good amount on advertising and bout a decent amount of equipment. The top 1% can make nice 6 figure incomes. Checkout superstar o he drives a damn Lamborghini.

The music industry to make a lot of money you gotta be that 1 in a million. You also gotta network with the big dogs and industry dudes. It's very competitive and for 99% of ppl a pipe dream. They don't really pay royalty cheque like they used to since ppl stopped buying albums and the future of music is streaming.

It's also heavily saturated due to the rapid changes in technology. Back in the 90s you wanted to be a music producer you would need around 20k worth of equipment. Now with a laptop and pirated software you can do everything the equipment can. Since the software has really blown up due to huge sound libraries that are like 200gb plus and the technology available these days. You can make great quality music with limited tools. You can easily send your music to a more premium studio to get it mixed over the Internet easily.

I personally believe getting into to film soundtracks and composing more musically inclined music that requires training is the way to go. If you know music theory and play instruments doing film soundtracks and tv show scores would be ideal. Since they music can be anywhere from classical, jazz, funk, and Rnb. It requires more effort and intellect then making simplistic rap beats.

People will still need music but the industry has changed. The reason I left is low profit margins, really time consuming, and not a bright future ahead. I heard ppl were leasing beats on soundclick for 100 a pop, now it's gone down to 20 dollars. Anybody can do it now, and everybody is doing it.

Post: #18

Just went through this again and read that on top of all this, you're bald, which I didn't notice the first time around. Ok. Wow. Have you considered asking your parents for an arranged marriage?

Post: #19

Absolutely not, because I don't need one. If you read my post I also mentioned I had 2 girls come up to me and approach me while
I moved to Ottawa. In honesty I've been with more women bald than I have with a head full of hair. I've also been with women that were 6 feet +. Yeah I'm in a difficult situation but being bald isn't that bad. I'm looking at micro scalp
Pigmentation so there is a solution for that.

Getting women is not the problem is more like getting my life together is. With the advice that has been given. I know what to do.

Post: #20

(06-14-2016 10:14 PM)Kapostatus13 Wrote:  If you read my post I also mentioned I had 2 girls come up to me and approach me while
I moved to Ottawa.

What did they say ?

Post: #21

Not surprised he got banned ... I think I should be giving him advice not taking anything from him.

Post: #22

While most guys will recommend you to "start now" when starting something such a making money or approaching girls, I'd advise you to lose a bit of weight before starting. No need to get a 6-pack, but try a rapid fat loss diet. You mentioned having a weight of 235 lbs; this is too much. If you start gaming right away, you will get bummed out by the high rejection rate, and you'll probably get mocked. You should get down to 190-ish before starting.

Do not start with online game; most girls just check pics before reading the profile so it won't yield good results.

I'm not a champion at weight loss, but a few guys here gave solid advice.

Post: #23

I think he should do both at the same time (lose weight and start approaching) because:

1. His lack of success is not because he is fat, it is because he doesn't approach. Even if he were 180-190 right now he still wouldn't have any success because he doesn't approach. And since he is a beginner he is going to get rejected a lot regardless.

2. Game is a skill, it is going to take him a while to develop. During the same 3-6 months he loses 20 pounds or so, he could have approached 100-300 women and gotten some bangs.

3. While losing weight will make it easier, it is not a bar to entry. Fat guys do get laid. Sure, he may not be taking home 9s and 10s, but 4s, 5s and 6s are better than nothing.

This is not to say he shouldn't lose weight though. He definitely needs to do that. But at 5' 10", 235 lbs, he's not so fat that he won't get any results. The better he looks, the better his results will be.

Post: #24

Lol at 5'10"/235 being too much to pull bitches.

WIA

Post: #25

(06-11-2016 12:43 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  Great sex for a woman is sex with a GREAT MAN. Not "great sex"

This is a very interesting point.

Do you mind expanding on that WIA?