Post: #1

Every so often I'll get stuck in a stare-off with a dude.

Case in point this morning I'm eating breakfast and working on my computer in a cafe.

2 dudes walk in and I look up just out of curiosity.

One of the dudes starts mad dogging me and I hold his gaze.

He nods to me and I nod back.

But he still has a confrontational look on his face and as he's walking past me says scornfully "do I know you mate?"

I look at him, say "nope" and turn back to my computer calmly.

I felt that was a good moment to de-escalate without backing down.

If I'm going to get into some shit I'm not going to do it while I'm sitting down with two guys hovering above me, out-manned (I was in the cafe alone), and with an expensive piece of equipment sitting on the table liable to get wrecked in the process.

Also, I can't box worth a damn and we're in a confined space where I may not be able to effectively take it to the ground so it's best to disengage for now.

Anyway, the guy then walks past and intentionally brushes me with his arm.

Whatever to that, it's empty posturing as far I'm concerned and it doesn't bother me at all but by this point my body is flooded with adrenaline and I feel like I've had 4 cups of coffee.

Pretty sweet rush actually!

Now here's the thing:

I've been in a few street fights and I've been doing jits competitively long enough (almost 6 years) and spend enough time around full-time fighters to know how to control my shit, stay calm, regulate my breathing, misdirect my opponent and keep a clear head even though I'm really nervous as hell inside.

I also know that you should never underestimate anybody no matter WHAT they look like, and you should always have a respectful attitude or you WILL get humbled sooner rather than later.

This guy could be a pretend tough guy or he could be a pro MMA fighter or just a lunatic for all I know.

You can never tell. Some legitimately tough dudes do a lot of posturing. And a lot of fucking killers just play it cool and then BOOM! You're on your ass.

I don't really try to look or act like a tough guy but sometimes a guy will just not like your face and want to get into it with you and I admit I have a pretty uninviting resting face (blame my Slavic background).

Interestingly, a lot of guys I've fought in competition or in the academy for the first time told me they thought they were going to mop the floor with me.

I guess I look unassuming which I now intentionally use to my advantage.

I just stay calm, regulate my breathing and work surgically and aggressively and before the guy knows it he's getting choked out.

Like I said, these confrontations usually happen by accident where I just look in a guy's general direction or he looks at me and we wind up looking at each other and neither one wants to back down.

Most never escalate to words but a few times it's gone into shoving and that kind of thing.

Haven't been in a legit street fight for a few years though.

Anyway, enough about me.

How do you guys deal with this shit? Real life stories welcome.

Post: #2

Joe Rogan said it best: The most unassuming dude could be the baddest man on the planet. Imagine seeing this guy staring you down… Escalate and you book yourself into a hospital bed.



That being said: My theory is to never back down, but never escalate. I will hold the look for an extended beat, then resume what I am doing.

Post: #3

Never a better laugh than when a guy shoulders you, mad-dogs you and you look back, concerned...

"Sorry, bro. Did I hurt you?"

But seriously. Once I reached 100kg (no, I'm not a lardo) this just stopped being an issue. Can't remember the last time I had to stare anyone down. I suppose if I hung out in low-rent bars or wandered through rough parts of town then maybe, but there's not a lot of good reasons to do that because you're more likely to get stabbed by five guys than get into a traditional one-on-one brawl.

Post: #4

(06-04-2016 03:57 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  But seriously. Once I reached 100kg (no, I'm not a lardo) this just stopped being an issue. Can't remember the last time I had to stare anyone down. I suppose if I hung out in low-rent bars or wandered through rough parts of town then maybe, but there's not a lot of good reasons to do that because you're more likely to get stabbed by five guys than get into a traditional one-on-one brawl.

This is one of many reasons I'd like to be a 100kg.

I naturally sit at 80 and if I'm really lifting and stuffing my face hard MAYBE I can hit 84 on a good day.

So I don't see it happening without some serious work, food and possibly gear.

That being the case, I'm going to start western boxing.

Can't rely on jits alone.

Post: #5

"or he could be a pro MMA fighter" - I would assume that a pro at any fighting sport would no longer be "staring-down" strangers and would have more self respect.

Was this guy English? I assume so from the "mate" thing. So if you're in Thailand, was this is the downtown Asoke/Nana area then?

I say, you look at them as long as YOU want to, until you are bored, then go back to what you are doing. Zero reason for it ever to escalate further than that. No need to "out alpha" some guy who wants to stare. He's already on a lower rung in life as far as I'm concerned if he feels the need to stare guys down - talk about insecure.

Post: #6

Doesn't happen to me as often as to some of my mates, some blokes just seem to have a certain look that sets off the ones who live for starting shit.

(06-04-2016 02:53 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  But he still has a confrontational look on his face and as he's walking past me says scornfully "do I know you mate?"

I look at him, say "nope" and turn back to my computer calmly.

I think this here is still playing his game, I like to flip it like:
*looks at him quizically* (because in his mind I'm probably supposed to know who he is)
"Not sure....I'm Tex Cruise" (now I'm the one he "should" know.) Smile, extend hand, see what happens...

Post: #7

How about this one, happened to me yesterday: I'm taking the elevator in my building, dude gets in, he's a stranger and there's no eye contact. Just him and me in the elevator. He lets out a rolling belch, clearly disrespecting me. He's also bigger than me, and of a different race. Could have neck punched him right there. But what are you going to do?

Post: #8

(06-04-2016 04:10 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

(06-04-2016 03:57 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  But seriously. Once I reached 100kg (no, I'm not a lardo) this just stopped being an issue. Can't remember the last time I had to stare anyone down. I suppose if I hung out in low-rent bars or wandered through rough parts of town then maybe, but there's not a lot of good reasons to do that because you're more likely to get stabbed by five guys than get into a traditional one-on-one brawl.

This is one of many reasons I'd like to be a 100kg.

I naturally sit at 80 and if I'm really lifting and stuffing my face hard MAYBE I can hit 84 on a good day.

So I don't see it happening without some serious work, food and possibly gear.

That being the case, I'm going to start western boxing.

Can't rely on jits alone.

I used to hover around 65 kg on a 6' frame and never thought I would/could build muscle mass. I worked out every day and got muscular but hit a ceiling at 75kg, having no idea of proper bodybuilding diet and lift rotations.

In the end by sheer chance I got a job that had a lot of varied, heavily physical tasks, during which my body's natural craving for protein just took over without my knowing why. I ate a diet consisting mostly of bread, cheese and cocktail frankfurts, given that I was also quite poor at the time.

I never did the job to make gains so never bothered to track my "progress" but looking back the transition was phenomenal.

Post: #9

(06-04-2016 03:49 AM)Rush87 Wrote:  Joe Rogan said it best: The most unassuming dude could be the baddest man on the planet. Imagine seeing this guy staring you down… Escalate and you book yourself into a hospital bed.



That being said: My theory is to never back down, but never escalate. I will hold the look for an extended beat, then resume what I am doing.

If someone is mad doging you, he's probably a white belt, or an insecure person.

A well train martial artist and a professional athlete don't have time to play little games, I doubt someone like Rory McDonald would mad dog anyone, he's is too busy counting his money and looking forward to meeting his hot girlfriend.

Most people live a busy life.

Post: #10

I usually will say "hello" or "what's up?"

I'm pretty friendly and joke around a lot and I like to use it as a way to bring the situation back down to earth. It's VERY hard for a guy not to nod and smile back if I look up, smirk and say "what's up, man?"

Staring where I'm from is a challenge. if someone is staring hard they usually mean to fight you. Doesn't mean you should start a fight, but be prepared to possibly have to throw a punch. I've never had this happen to me, but for whatever reason, in Newark, people who stare you down are usually challenging you.

I largely see it as alpha/beta bullshit, but guys just seem to do that.

Post: #11

Break the original eye contact to the left or the right, never down or up. Down is submissive, up is contemptuous.

(06-04-2016 02:53 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  He nods to me and I nod back.

Make sure you nod upwards, not downwards. This is the tiniest tell when reading people but downwards is a sign of submission and confrontational men will notice. Upwards is recognising an equal.

Quote:But he still has a confrontational look on his face and as he's walking past me says scornfully "do I know you mate?"

Be an easy-going bastard if the guy's not drunk. "Yeah, saw ya at Thommo's party, right? Y' Cassies' bloke?"

See if he deescalates. If he goes the 'you being smart?' route:

"Hard to bloody remember, I was fucken' shitfaced mate. Were a top night, that one."

You can probably come up with a more plausible excuse for your look and milieu. "Yer face rings a bell mate. D'you train at my gym?"

I don't do this when a bloke is drunk because they're usually just looking for a fight, and you'll normally get the 'what are you so happy about?' / 'I ain't your fucken mate' response.

Quote:How do you guys deal with this shit? Real life stories welcome.

In all confrontations: Show no fear, but no disrespect either. Even if you've put them down, talk to them respectfully, in a calm, steady tone.

Unfortunately, the reality of the situation is that if you project confidence and power, your very existence will offend some guys, no matter what you do. You'll just have to knuckle up.

I was having a good day a couple of years ago. Was in a leather jacket / bike gear, and was heading into a chemist and noted an odd looking guy waiting outside giving me a filthy look, kept going. Went in, go my prescription, come out 15 minutes later and the guy is still there, scowling at me.

Head down the street a bit, cross the crossing, notice out of the corner of my eye he is following me. Figure "Here we go". I barely looked at the guy for more than a second originally and had sunglasses on, so he couldn't have read my eyes anyway.

As I stop at each intersection down the street, I register he's still behind me via shop window reflections and a subtle left/right glance before I step on the road. Crowded day, people everywhere. I've got a wallet chain and inner zips in the jacket so he's not going to lift anything from me.

Three blocks later, I run into a mate, which distracts me, then a few seconds later, the guy does the shoulder jostle and keeps going. My response was just to laugh, and the guy, having finally made his big play, took off.

This guy, half my size, doing nothing in the middle of the day, decided to follow me for three blocks just because I somehow offended him.

My Canadian mate Tony calls this being 'bastard-sized' - every bastard who wants to prove something will try to pick a fight with you.

Post: #12

(06-04-2016 07:10 AM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  Break the original eye contact to the left or the right, never down or up. Down is submissive, up is contemptuous.
Make sure you nod upwards, not downwards. This is the tiniest tell when reading people but downwards is a sign of submission and confrontational men will notice. Upwards is recognising an equal.

This a thousand times. AB beat me to it.
Nice work.

Post: #13

Interesting body language stuff Bosch, thanks for that.

Post: #14

(06-04-2016 07:10 AM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  Break the original eye contact to the left or the right, never down or up. Down is submissive, up is contemptuous.

This and this only.

Who's got time to play eye contact games with a wannabe tough guy?

There is no potential upside of continuing communication or even thinking about this person any further.

I used to care a lot about winning these nonverbal dominance battles but now I'd rather let them think in their own heads they've won and I can get back to work/girls/whatever else I was currently doing.

Post: #15

Funny story, I was walking along the night life street a couple weeks ago and it was busy night with lots of people. As I'm walking I notice a guy walking towards me and staring at me. I thought the guy was looking to scrap but then when he got close he said, "Your beef man!" and then gave me a high five and then started flexing in front of me. After I walked past him and a car full of girls, they rolled down their window and said that I should wear my shirt more often lol

Post: #16

Not many people have been in a real fight, in real life, with real people throwing real punches. After the first one you're usually not keen to get into a whole lot more. Even winning is not pleasant. A bit of advice is to have enough situational awareness to notice them before they notice you. I don't make eye contact because I have no interest in getting into it with some chump with less to lose than me, so I generally tend to look women in the eye and men in the forehead.

The vast majority of assholes get confused by this because they're not sure if I'm looking at them or at something behind them, and that in turn creates a momentary question in their minds as to whether something actually IS behind them, and of course by that point our paths have already crossed and we're moving in different directions.

I visited a large city recently and thought I was going to have trouble but between this method and the apparent shrimpening happening to metro-men I had no issues whatsoever. Without wanting to sound like a try-hard, I don't avoid violent situations because I think I'd lose. I avoid them because I carry a lot of bad energy and honestly I think I'd win the other guy into a coma.

Post: #17

Almost noone wants real conflict gratuitously. Try smiling more, or simply being the one to look away and diffuse the situation. 'Sorry, mate, I was miles away' would have taken all the sting out of a situation like the one you described.

Some guys do need squashing, and if you are unlucky enough to come across one of them then it is best to recognise that conflict is unavoidable and take matters in hand decisively. Doing the monkey dance is always entirely superfluous and is only an indulgence of your ego. If something's not a problem, or you don't want it to be, be the one to let it go. If something is a problem, don't run your mouth and give the guy a chance to get set or see what's coming, just take care of it efficiently and get back to what you were doing.

Post: #18

Was he an aussie?

I got mad-dogged a lot by aussies in Thailand. It seems like the lowest element of the country goes there...

Most of them--even the big ones--are just posturing, and frankly they wouldn't know what to do next.

My favorite incident was a car-full of them drove by a nighclub I was standing outside, and were macking on my girl. I told them to fuck off. 3 of them jumped out of the car, paced up to me quickly and said, "What you say...you fucking American!?" (I'm not even american lol). "We're part of a gang...we've got 40 guys who could come kick your ass."

I LOL'd. As if 3 on 1 wasn't a big enough advantage!

Anyway, I held my ground. Told the guy to chill...and they walked away like the little pussies they were.

P.S. Bear in mind...these guys don't want to get in trouble with Thai police. If you're causing trouble in Thailand, the police won't think twice about fucking you up. I knew that. They knew that. And that's how I "won"...

Post: #19

You bought into his frame the minute you held his glance.

You are not like him. Don't accept his frame.

You had stuff to do and were just checking out your environment, like any mammal would. He didn't have a laptop, or a book, or anything else to do but try to elicit eye contact and turn it into a pointless battle over nothing.

A lot of good advice in this thread, particularly about breaking eye contact first, and to the left or right instead of down, and using the uptilted head to acknowledge him.

You have every right to check out your environment, and all you have to do is look at him long enough to let him know you see him, and aren't intimidated, and he will get the message.

When you look away first, it is not weakness on your part, it is a sop to his vanity. He has nothing better to do than this, and if you look away first, it is a way for this sad little person to save face. You are refraining from rubbing his nose in his own pointlessness.

I would imagine different cultures have different time frames when it comes to determining the difference between a glance and a stare.

Also good advice above, to say, sorry, I was spacing out, not staring. This is face saving for everyone. I try not to personalize anything, no mention of you or him or we, so I wouldn't say I thought I recognized him, would go for more of a redirect of the conversation: "Sorry, spacing out, so you think Golden State will win in four?"

I think if you had just shortened the time of your look from a stare to a glance, you wouldn't have had to deal with the later comment or the bump. He wouldn't have needed to do either if he hadn't felt diminished, and in need of redemption.

Just to comfirm what a lot are saying in the thread, take the high road without losing your own dignity or making him lose face:

I see you, you are not a threat to me, but I ain't a dick about it either.

That is a good general principle.

Post: #20

1. I'm wondering what you are doing to catch aggressive posturing from other men on a semi-regular basis. This isn't exactly normal. If a guy looks at you, try smiling at him the next few times and nod in a friendly manner. I'd venture that this will stall any escalation. Most guys that are eyeballing you for no reason are probably either doing it out of envy (for whatever reason) or curiosity. It probably isn't a situation until you challenge the guy's lizard brain by dead-eyeing him back. Next, stop hanging out at places where low life's frequent.

2. Street fights, especially among strangers, are for low-lifes. Avoid at all cost for the sake of your dignity as an adult man; injury and your criminal record aside.

3. There is no "working slowly and methodically" in a street fight. That shit is different than you likely expect. If you've never been in one, don't start now. If you're not trained with live fighting, don't start ever. If you are trained to include dozens of live matches, it will be shocking. If you are not trained, you're likely to take an unforgettable ass-beating in public.

4. If you do find yourself in an escalation, this is what I recommend: If you are fearless, show that you are fearless. One example would be approaching the guy quickly and intensely, and barring no one stopping you you are going to throw a punch. If someone does stop you, the guy will likely back off. If you are not fearless, save yourself the embarrassment of posturing for a fight that both of you will likely dance around for ten minutes - in public - and just walk away and be the better man. The latter is going to be the best option in 99.9% of the situations.

Post: #21

^Tall, well-built dudes get mad dogged...

It's just human nature. You defer to the most alpha looking guy in the room, or they defer to you. When there is a conflict (real or imagined), then they'll try to correct it via intimidation or violence.

Post: #22

(06-04-2016 01:56 PM)Ostrogoth Wrote:  ^Tall, well-built dudes get mad dogged...

It's just human nature. You defer to the most alpha looking guy in the room, or they defer to you. When there is a conflict (real or imagined), then they'll try to correct it via intimidation or violence.

Not in real life. Just in barter-town. My advice: don't be a guy who looks like, acts like, or is a denizen of barter-town. Hang out around normal adults in normal public places. If a low-life looks in your direction, which should be rare because you will rarely be in the same place, be too good for him.

Most guys who have been in street fights don't look for street fights. Most guys who spend all of their time watching fighting movies and MMA think that every glance is the first step to throwing punches.

If one of the latter guys "mad dogs" you and you are the former guy you should still walk away. You'll know that you are the former guy by almost your complete lack of adrenaline that comes from the knowledge that you will destroy better than 90% of the people who would try to fight you. Tough guys are calm because of earned confidence. Tough guys are nice and non-confrontational because of real confidence. Guys who are scared of the world look for fights. You can still walk away from them because they don't really want to fight you. If they don't back down, after you try, then you can make a choice as to whether it is worth a criminal record to teach a complete stranger that street fights are no fun.

Post: #23

Why did you hold the eye contact in the first place? When I am at a public place doing my own thing, other people are just like furniture to me. Unless they get in my way or threaten me, they basically do not exist.

With that guy, I would break an eye contact immediately. I would probably look down on my computer screen, or maybe sideways, but I wouldn't be thinking about where to turn my eyes so that I appear "alpha". I don't care if he thinks that I'm weak. His opinion about me is irrelevant.

Post: #24

Whilst I have relatively little in the way of formal combat training, I have experienced a number of street brawls and random altercations, mainly as a teen. I didn't suffer any serious physical injuries however I do have some bashed-in teeth and a lingering scar from the slash of a knife.

Hopefully the following suggestions can help RvF members to avoid injury and stay healthy. Much of these points are general and cannot necessarily be applied to specific real-life situations without context-based calibration.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A bit of advice is to have enough situational awareness to notice them before they notice you. I don't make eye contact because I have no interest in getting into it with some chump with less to lose than me..." (Credit: Leonard D Neubache). A solid excerpt, which relates to my top point:

{1} The best thing you can do, in many cases, is to avoid, ignore, or move away.

The same principle can be applied to other people or situations that could take you down, e.g: I get approached by street vagrants on a regular basis and don't even look at them any more. No need to say 'sorry no change on me' or whatever. I simply ignore them completely. This bum does not deserve a second of my attention, let alone my hard-earned money.

One of my general life tips is to pick your battles - learn to "let that which does not matter, truly slide" [ref 1]. Being hypersensitive to every wanna-be tough guy or other energy-leeching sources (e.g., fat virtue-signaling feminists online) is gonna leave you sucked into a never-ending world of negativity. So, if you're regularly getting into staring contests with random dudes then I would speculate that you could benefit from considering if these battles are really worth fighting. Relating this to to some examples given:

(06-04-2016 02:53 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  2 dudes walk in and I look up just out of curiosity. One of the dudes starts mad dogging me and I hold his gaze...

This was your first mistake.

Who cares if some guy is "mad dogging you" - you have better things to do than to care about the harmless, random act of a complete stranger. Brodiaga put it succinctly: "I don't care if he thinks that I'm weak. His opinion about me is irrelevant". Let the other guy try to prove his toughness to himself or his mates by being a bully; you, on the other hand, do NOT need self-validation through dominating other men over pointless matters, and you have ZERO need to prove yourself to randoms as you are self-accepting [ref 2].

As Debeguiled wrote: "I think if you had just shortened the time of your look from a stare to a glance, you wouldn't have had to deal with the later comment or the bump..."

(06-04-2016 11:32 AM)Ostrogoth Wrote:  My favorite incident was a car-full of them drove by a nighclub I was standing outside, and were macking on my girl. I told them to fuck off. 3 of them jumped out of the car...

This is bad advice (italicized emphasis mine).

Whilst you seemed to have gained some confidence from "holding your ground" (I'm unsure what you did exactly)... next time you aggravate a bunch of loser Aussies who are full of booze, frustration from not getting laid [ref 3], and heightened confidence due to group membership, you may not be so lucky.

Here, I would use the principle of avoidance, and this is moreover a great excuse to move your target somewhere else and emotionally escalate: [grab the girl's hand and start walking away without even looking at the losers] "Man there are some idiots around, I think deep down they were just jealous of you for being with such a cute guy..." [segue into the next topic]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{2}The second best thing, if avoiding or ignoring is not feasible, is then adhering to the following advice:

> "In all confrontations: Show no fear, but no disrespect either. Even if you've put them down, talk to them respectfully, in a calm, steady tone."(Credit: AnonymousBosch)
> "I see you, you are not a threat to me, but I ain't a dick about it either. That is a good general principle" (Credit: Debeguiled)

Relating this to the example given:

(06-04-2016 02:53 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  But he still has a confrontational look on his face and as he's walking past me says scornfully "do I know you mate?"

At this point you have gone past the ability to ignore or avoid. Now, you probably need to acknowledge him lest appearing weak. As noted, it's best to do it in a way that sub-communicates neither submission or a threat, thereby leaving the instigator's pride intact whilst not displaying major weakness from you. When said in a calm, neutral, casual manner, the following gets my stamp of approval:

> "Sorry, mate, I was miles away' would have taken all the sting out of a situation like the one you described" (Credit: H1N1)
> "Also good advice above, to say, sorry, I was spacing out, not staring. This is face saving for everyone" (Credit: Debeguiled)

Some guys may feel their pride dented by following some of this advice. Personally, in almost all cases I think it's worth it. As Leonard D Neubache explained: "Not many people have been in a real fight, in real life, with real people throwing real punches. After the first one you're usually not keen to get into a whole lot more."

All that said, sometimes you DO have to stand up for yourself or others; sometimes you have to man up and not be a pussy; sometimes you have to risk your physical safety for the sake of something greater; but just make sure that your cause is really worthwhile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{3} Some other thoughts:

Getting combat training and jacked via lifting will help, however I think that the best outcome of this conditioning is not an increased ability to hit back hard (though of course this is a benefit), but rather:

(a} gaining the confidence to not back down when confronted e.g., because you know that getting hit is not the end of the world,
(b} the sense of situational and interpersonal awareness that is needed to avoid violence in the first place or to de-escalate the situation, and,
(c} the lessor chance of being marked as a potential target due to size, build, posture, body language and vibe; as Leonard D Neubache realised "Once I reached 100kg (no, I'm not a lardo) this just stopped being an issue."

In summary, prevention is better than the cure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{4} However, all this preparation is still no guarantee of safety

(06-04-2016 07:10 AM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  Unfortunately, the reality of the situation is that if you project confidence and power, your very existence will offend some guys, no matter what you do... My Canadian mate Tony calls this being 'bastard-sized' - every bastard who wants to prove something will try to pick a fight with you.

This is true.

An anecdote of my own follows:

Years ago I was out on the town and ran into a mate from high school along with his crew - we used to get up to mischief together and he'd soon be back in lockup. I joined them and headed to a bar. Now, one fella in the crew was an absolute Tank of a bloke, around 6'7" AND build very well. Soon after we sat down for a drink, 'Tank' began instructing us on the topic of how to glass some cunt in the face, including correct prep and form.

Tank then scoped out the place for anyone who was either staunch or tall and willing to be provoked, in order to "have some fun". He found the tallest guy in the entire pub and went right up to his face, asking him how tall he was (note the seemingly innocuous question that is incongruent with the aggressive body language and positioning). The tall dude was around an inch taller than Tank however I can guarantee you that the tall dude was shitting bricks because he soon walked away with some excuse. A smart move.

{5} Finally, being well-trained may not save you in a street fight. This is important to consider because (a) street fights do not share the same rules as a boxing ring - your opponent may have a hidden weapon, a bunch of friends, or willingness to use environmental props like a bar stool - all of which limit your control over the outcome, and (b) a much bigger opponent is probably gonna mess you up. Read the thread on 'Speed/Agility vs. Strength/Mass' [ref 4] for more on this topic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

References:

[1] Scene from Fight Club movie: "The ability to let that which does not matter, truly slide."





[2] Paul A. Hauck (Foreword by Albert Ellis) - " Book: Overcoming the Rating Game Beyond Self-Love & Beyond Self-Esteem " [pdf]

[3] Louis CK - "Hot girl at the bar" skit from his "Hilarious" release - the thread-relevant bit starts @ 1:16 however the first minute will appeal to the RvF readership in any case:





[4] RvF thread: Speed/Agility vs. Strength/Mass for combat?

Edit: mainly spelling, formatting

Post: #25

^It may be bad advice for some...it depends on whether you can hold your frame.

I think they were stunned that a solo guy smaller than them would hold his ground.

It makes one think, "Why is he unafraid?". "Is he a crazy fucker that's going to stab me, or bite my ear off?".

In this situation, I think it was the better move. Backing down would have emboldened them, and invited a beating.