Post: #51

(06-01-2016 08:36 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  Not me, but I remember from when I was a kid that this would really bug my dad. Especially if the tires were on his lawn.

Another thing that pissed him off: if a neighbor's dog took a shit on his lawn or near his property...he would take a shovel, scoop it up, and then move it to the neighbor's yard.

Damn, Rex. I didn't know my brother had an account on here.

My dad would go apeshit over the exact same things. There's a reason he's on high blood pressure meds.

OP, let it go. Pick your battles. Save it for something that actually matters.

Also, I have a book for you:

Post: #52

The OP may be making a mountain out of a molehill, but man some of the "humor" that followed was some of the lamest shit I've ever read in my life.

Post: #53

(06-02-2016 06:03 AM)realologist Wrote:  Guys, I bought a bird feeder for my yard and this squirrel keeps sneaking on my property and eating bird seeds. I know it's supposed to be Darwin's Law and all but can't that squirrel just eats some nuts or acorns instead. It really pisses me off because the birds don't come anymore and the squirrel has been there for over 24 hours and invited all his friends. They are squirrelly as fuck.

They're allowed to eat the seeds as long as they don't park their cars in front of your house.

Pretty sure it's common law.

Post: #54

So I was living at this apartment complex a couple years ago. Upper-middle class yuppie type place.

I went out to my car one morning to go to work. I saw a Mexican man and woman kind of near it - figured they were employees of the complex doing some maintenance work. When I turned the corner and got full sight of my car I saw they were trying to hide their kid who was pissing on my tire.

I got pissed then.

So if the question is do I get pissed when someone pisses on my car? The answer is yes.

Post: #55

It is odd how a lot of the time people can take the big stuff in stride, and then flip out over weird and apparently innocuous incursions.

Parking in front of someone's house can actually be more of a nuisance than glancing at someone, and yet you see more fights and murders over eye contact than you would reasonably believe possible.

People set up boundaries in their heads, assume they are reasonable, and then lose their shit entirely when they are crossed, and it seems to bypass the conscious mind and tap in to something deeper.

It could be some sort of unconscious displacement activity, like, man, I am eating shit all day, and it is building inside me, but I can't kick my boss in the nuts, so I will blow off steam by spazzing out over this minor issue that I can safely assume the other person really doesn't care about.

And you end up with those "Neighbor From Hell" videos on Youtube where people are going back and forth over a lawn that encroaches a couple of inches, and it is escalating like crazy.

I once had an insane neighbor who was also the president of the homeowners association annnd . . . a retired prosecutor. He would come over to our house all the time, nitpicking like crazy, criticizing things that were none of his business, like the color of the paint inside the house, or giving instructions to people we had hired without checking with us first, or calling and flipping out because we stained some trim or some shit. All of it was done with reasonable, straightforward words, and yet there was such unharnessed rage just below the surface. He would drop by and say, like he was helping out losers, that did we know we had left the garage light on once last month over night, or that we should probably dig up a certain plant that used too much water.

I just let my girl deal with him, since I was on the edge of screaming at him by the end of a couple months.

It was all little shit, like parking in front of the house, and this sort of stuff is like the happy hunting ground of the frustrated passive aggressive, so even though the OP's post sounds nitpicky, I would say that a lot of human truth gets worked out precisely in the little shit, because we all play it safe with the big stuff, and the larger topic of how humans fail to get along with one another can be teased out of situations exactly like someone parking in front of your house.

Post: #56

Fuck this shit is right up my alley. I'm in Canada now and I live five houses down from a United Church. This church pisses me off ever since the pastor left his wife and family of four for another man in his 40s. They are very LGBTQI* friendly and I am constantly getting trolled by church events where they all Park in front of my house. It always seems like when I go get a YUGE load of groceries all these dicks decide to have a church event and jam up my entire street so I have to park a mile away. Once I was trying to relax at home and this fucking dolt came knocking at my door to invite me to some "save the environment" event at the church. Sure enough this dick head had rolled up in a Prius and parked right in my spot. This really fired me up because I couldn't Park in my regular spot earlier because of all the church traffic so I had to park a street over and walk home. I guess the spot had opened and this guy pounced on my spot before I could react. Needless to say I turned down his invite to the event with an indignant "I am very busy, maybe another time!" Took me an hour to cool off!

Thanks for this inspiring thread OP from now on I will get my revenge and call the tow truck if they are there longer than the two hour alloted maximum! I will try to never leave the house and sit in the front window, watching... Waiting... Always ready to pounce. This is a war of attrition and this cannot continue!

Post: #57

If someone is able to park in front of your house, you guys need to upgrade your SMV. Get in a position where you own a house with a drive and a garage and off road parking. Then all you have to be concerned about is if someone parks blocking your drop kerb. (which has never happened to me in the last 18 years I've lived here).

Post: #58

I got a chuckle out of the comments for sure, but the truth is that it can get alot more complicated and nuansed than we think.

For instance, I once had a neighbor across the street who was a tatted up skinhead with a violent personality, although he was always cool to me.

Dude had mufflers and random cart parts littering his lawn. His driveway was a patchwork of oil stains from his shitty cars. His feral children would wander up and down the street with their bikes making crazy noise during all hours.

He worked on cars, and he had this really old 50's cadillac that was a rusted POS with torn out interior, headliner sagging from the roof in little ragged chunks. And since the car was so fucking big, it didnt fit in the curb space in front of his house so he would park it directly in front of mine.

Goddamn I hated waking up in the morning and looking at that thing. It wasnt enough to really confront him about it, and technically he was within his rights. But it basically fucked up the entire view from the front of my house, which was otherwise pretty nice.


I think the worst case scenario is when you have a large group of people pool together and move into the house next door. Chances are their all broke, which is why their sharing the space. That means shitty cars, shitty people in front of your house at all times.

Post: #59

(06-02-2016 01:56 PM)komatiite Wrote:  Fuck this shit is right up my alley. I'm in Canada now and I live five houses down from a United Church. This church pisses me off ever since the pastor left his wife and family of four for another man in his 40s. They are very LGBTQI* friendly and I am constantly getting trolled by church events where they all Park in front of my house. It always seems like when I go get a YUGE load of groceries all these dicks decide to have a church event and jam up my entire street so I have to park a mile away. Once I was trying to relax at home and this fucking dolt came knocking at my door to invite me to some "save the environment" event at the church. Sure enough this dick head had rolled up in a Prius and parked right in my spot. This really fired me up because I couldn't Park in my regular spot earlier because of all the church traffic so I had to park a street over and walk home. I guess the spot had opened and this guy pounced on my spot before I could react. Needless to say I turned down his invite to the event with an indignant "I am very busy, maybe another time!" Took me an hour to cool off!

Thanks for this inspiring thread OP from now on I will get my revenge and call the tow truck if they are there longer than the two hour alloted maximum! I will try to never leave the house and sit in the front window, watching... Waiting... Always ready to pounce. This is a war of attrition and this cannot continue!

I was taking a walk last Sunday morning when I heard one church lady warning another not to park in front of a house. The owner came out last weekend and went apeshit over the church goers taking up all the spaces every Sunday. The church has been there for over 30 years. So he has been fuming over the parking situation for a long ass time.

Post: #60

(06-02-2016 01:56 PM)komatiite Wrote:  Thanks for this inspiring thread OP from now on I will get my revenge and call the tow truck if they are there longer than the two hour alloted maximum! I will try to never leave the house and sit in the front window, watching... Waiting... Always ready to pounce. This is a war of attrition and this cannot continue!

Post: #61

There should be a Grandpa Lounge for complaints of this seriousness.

People could share tips about keeping kids off their lawn, vent about the new girl at the pharmacy not remembering your name, try to solve this public parking issue etc.

Post: #62

Great thread OP. I get super irritated when people use cones to block off a parking spot for themselves. Everytime I see it, I want to kick the cone the street and purposely park there, but then like debeguiled said, people set up these crazy imaginary boundaries in there head, you really never know what's going to set someone off. They have a line in their head but you don't know what it is. I've had someone try to fight me because I was watching the TV above there head.

I have a friend who goes ape shit when he gets tailgated, one time a small group of college age chicks did it, he let them pass, then sped up and followed them for a good 1/2 hour until they pulled in to a driveway, they were freaking out.

I also really hate when some assholes sits on the stoop of my house and smokes a cig. This happend like once a day since i lived by a corner store. I have a screen door though that pops outward and I usually open it with a little force "by accident" so they got the picture.

Post: #63

The street I live on is all street parking on one side (renters). The other sides have driveways (owners). It is a narrow street and cars speed regularly. Parked cars also get dinged regularly.

Under normal conditions, everyone parks anywhere and no one cares.

But when it snows people get crazy. They tried to put chairs and cones where they had parked before the snowstorm as if they now owned that spot. I generally come home for lunch. I would always move the chair or crates or whatever into their yard. No one ever said anything, but I don't know if they saw me. Or maybe they just realized it was a stupid idea.

Post: #64

(06-02-2016 03:41 PM)godzilla Wrote:  I have a friend who goes ape shit when he gets tailgated, one time a small group of college age chicks did it, he let them pass, then sped up and followed them for a good 1/2 hour until they pulled in to a driveway, they were freaking out.

Exactly. How dare they do something mildly-irritating in his presence? Don't they know who he is? How did they fail to recognise that he's their Glorious King and they should show nothing but fawning deference and respect to him? The normal, psychologically-healthy reaction to is to immediately overreact and put everyone involved at risk of physical danger by using his car as a weapon and driving like a maniac around them so that they learn their place in future.

TL; DR version. It doesn't matter what your friend appears to be externally, internally, your friend is Gamma as Fuck.

I've trained multiple girlfriends out of this behaviour. Men have no excuse.

Post: #65

(06-02-2016 03:51 PM)PartManPartMonkey Wrote:  The street I live on is all street parking on one side (renters). The other sides have driveways (owners). It is a narrow street and cars speed regularly. Parked cars also get dinged regularly.

Under normal conditions, everyone parks anywhere and no one cares.

But when it snows people get crazy. They tried to put chairs and cones where they had parked before the snowstorm as if they now owned that spot. I generally come home for lunch. I would always move the chair or crates or whatever into their yard. No one ever said anything, but I don't know if they saw me. Or maybe they just realized it was a stupid idea.

It's pretty much a reality of winter in South Boston that if you park in a space someone else has shoveled out for themselves, you're going to get your windshield smashed. Or worse.

Post: #66

The correct response for someone tailgating you at speed is to activate the windshield sprayers.

Post: #67

Really? Why?

Post: #68

At that speed and distance some of the spray blasts over your car and splatters their windscreen with tiny particles of dusty water. They have to use their own windshield sprayers.

The first time they'll think it was happenstance. By the third time you do it they'll get the message.

Post: #69

(06-02-2016 03:55 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(06-02-2016 03:51 PM)PartManPartMonkey Wrote:  The street I live on is all street parking on one side (renters). The other sides have driveways (owners). It is a narrow street and cars speed regularly. Parked cars also get dinged regularly.

Under normal conditions, everyone parks anywhere and no one cares.

But when it snows people get crazy. They tried to put chairs and cones where they had parked before the snowstorm as if they now owned that spot. I generally come home for lunch. I would always move the chair or crates or whatever into their yard. No one ever said anything, but I don't know if they saw me. Or maybe they just realized it was a stupid idea.

It's pretty much a reality of winter in South Boston that if you park in a space someone else has shoveled out for themselves, you're going to get your windshield smashed. Or worse.

Same in Chicago! You shovel it out and it's yours!
Some of the things I know have been done to cars that stole spots:
Slashed tires
Dog shit on the Windows
Bury the car in
Icing the car (dumping water on it every so often and letting it freeze in layers)
Potato in tail pipe
Broken mirrors

Post: #70

When I see OP's name I think of poop.

Post: #71

The answer to this dilemma is simple. It's the answer to all life brings you. Just ask yourself WWLDD. ( What would little dark do?) Then be guided accordingly.

Post: #72

I get it. It just depends where you live. I definitely have lived in neighborhoods where parking spaces in front of the house are considered to belong to the house. It depends on the neighborhood and mostly whether or not parking in that area is at a premium. In some 'hoods people have lived in those houses for generation and the people there will defend their private parking spaces with violence. In busy blue collar areas where street parking is the predominant parking home owners and head of households come home from their 9 to 5's and find there is no place to park their work truck they get pissed. Usually these are large multi-generational families so there is usually a young violent malcontent willing to vandalize a car or punch a guy through his car window. Its just a frustration of modern American suburban life. I think it is just an American thing. I have witnessed lots of vandalism and even violence over parking spaces in front of homes. I think its a hood thing.
OP:It depends on a number of factors before I could say whether that space is really yours or not.

Post: #73

(06-02-2016 03:54 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

(06-02-2016 03:41 PM)godzilla Wrote:  I have a friend who goes ape shit when he gets tailgated, one time a small group of college age chicks did it, he let them pass, then sped up and followed them for a good 1/2 hour until they pulled in to a driveway, they were freaking out.

Exactly. How dare they do something mildly-irritating in his presence? Don't they know who he is? How did they fail to recognise that he's their Glorious King and they should show nothing but fawning deference and respect to him? The normal, psychologically-healthy reaction to is to immediately overreact and put everyone involved at risk of physical danger by using his car as a weapon and driving like a maniac around them so that they learn their place in future.

TL; DR version. It doesn't matter what your friend appears to be externally, internally, your friend is Gamma as Fuck.

I've trained multiple girlfriends out of this behaviour. Men have no excuse.

How dare you be so judgemental. Dude was like 17 at the time. He'll grow out of it.

Can you explain how you trained girlfriends out of what behavior? I could use some help for my friend

Post: #74

First world triggering....

Post: #75

(06-04-2016 02:59 AM)godzilla Wrote:  How dare you be so judgemental. Dude was like 17 at the time. He'll grow out of it.

Dammit. Here's the kind of Dad Lecture I didn't want to give enough that I've got to back off of this forum, because who am I to tell anyone what to do?

Listen or ignore, your choice.

A vehicles a dangerous weapon, son. You add aggression and panic into the mix and a bunch of people can easily get killed over if someone isn't paying attention just for one split second because they're terrified of someone chasing them or they were angrily-focused on making someone pay.

A second is all it takes.

I've directly seen enough accidents and road death over the years - including how people go into shock, including myself, no matter how OK you think you are; what remained of friends after the fact; and an older friend who is still racked with guilt and grief of the deaths he caused twenty-five years after the fact - to be as weary of avoidable bullshit over bullshit ego wounding and as damn judgmental as I want.

Back before mobile phones, I once saw a car race up behind a pickup and overtake, only for the pickup to immediately accelerate, race right up the bumper, and run the car off the road. Truck keeps going, I stop to see if they're ok. Turns out their son is turning blue on the back seat and they were racing him to the hospital. What's it matter though, that Pickup Driver sure taught those peasants to respect their King.

A female friend, after I catch up with her car and find her stopped in the middle of the road, wandering around, dazed, with the front of the engine crushed in and a giant kangaroo half through her front windshield: "I'm ok." Blood trickling down her head. I come forward to guide her off the centre of the road. She slaps me away, wide-eyed and agitated. "No really, I'm fine. I didn't hit my head." Ghostly-white, she passes out in my arms. A long, horrible wait checking her breathing, pulse and keeping her legs elevated until the next car came past and they could go find a farmhouse to call an ambulance.

I know another woman whose entire family was killed when a bunch of teenagers overtook her car on a dangerous stretch and didn't see another car coming, then swerved back in front of her. One split second decision at the wrong time and her husband and children were taken from her. Even worse, any time someone else dies on that road, the media hounda her for comment, even though she's always said she wanted to be left alone, and has even begged them.

I've got a younger mate who drinks heavily since he lifted a young girl out a burning car wreck only for her head to fall completely off. The decapitation was that sudden and clean that the weight of the head held the blood in place.

This is the knowledge age and experience weighs a man down with.

Your mate's age is no excuse - his Daddy should have taught him to respect his vehicle the way he'd respect a gun.

Quote:Can you explain how you trained girlfriends out of what behavior? I could use some help for my friend

For women? For being spoilt brats on the road? Usually empathy. Most women's queen bitch behaviour can be modified by getting them to put themselves in the other persons shoes, (though, unfortunately, this is often used to excuse bad behaviour). You want to hit the classic sweet spot of dialed down moral sanctimony without going into outright lecturing: keep the tone casual, conversational, with a hint of humour.

"So, you've never pulled out in front of a car when you thought you had more time than you did?"

"You don't know what sort of day they're having. Maybe they're driving home trying to just hold it together just long enough so that no-one sees them cry, and annoying you isn't even registering with them. Boy, you're showing them."

Though light mockery works just as well:

"Do you think you're that important that random strangers deliberately-target you for persecution? Interesting."

[roll down window, yell loudly] "Make way for her royal majesty, scum!" [look back at her] "What? It's what you're thinking, isn't it?"

For men? Tell him straight to stop being a dickhead and to let trivial shit go. Get him out of his own head. There are greater challenges for a man to endure in life than someone cutting him off.

It's complicated, I know. A powerlifter mate of mine has some Gamma Issues. Unfortunately, these kind of resentments consume him: why don't people realise that I'm better than them? He still carries on about some guy who works at one of the pubs who once cut us off in traffic a couple of years back. I can't imagine carrying such unnecessary emotional baggage like that around for so long that you're still seething over a minor slight all that time later - it sounds like a hellish existence - but I take his Gamma side into account with patience due to the knowledge that he was abandoned on a stranger's doorstep as a baby, was raised by the state and his parents have never sought him out after 45 years.

All he's really saying with his Gamma Sperg-Outs is "Why don't people care about me?" Maybe your mate has similar issues. He needs to work on getting his house in order rather than acting out his self-worth issues on the road.

Be safe out there.