Post: #26

(04-03-2016 05:36 AM)RaymondKertezc Wrote:  Just to give you a little background, we're newly married. She's from the Philippines; I finally decided to go with a foreign woman after getting catastrophically frivorced by my borderline personality disordered, radical LGBTQ/feminist SJW blogging, American first wife. She's more traditional than some girls I encountered from, say, Manila, although she's in her late 20s and had a couple major relationships that didn't work out before the two of us met. She's lived with her churchgoing family and the rest of her clan in a pretty traditional Filipino village most of her life, aside from a period when she ran away from home, cut her short, and went to live on her own in the city. I suspect Matt Forney is correct that the Philippines is becoming more Americanized, although there's still a lot of difference between the two cultures and how women are encouraged by their families to act.

Never assume that just because a Filipina can cook, is from a small village, and goes to church that she's conservative. Those qualities may be a good indicator of a traditional woman in western societies, but in SEA they're almost meaningless. Those things are mandatory where she grew up and are mostly about keeping face. A Filipina can consider herself a conservative Catholic while cheating and divorcing when it suits her needs. Once she's in a new environment with greater options, everything can change. A Belgian study showed that the divorce rate for Belgians marrying immigrant Filipinas was virtually the same as the Belgian/Belgian divorce rate.

The part you mentioned about her running away from home is a major red flag in my opinion. It shows that she would rather run away from her problems than directly communicate them and work them out. It's a major sign of impulsiveness. Be prepared to deal with tampo, passive aggressiveness, jealousy, her remaining quiet and stewing in anger rather than openly discussing problems. As a westerner, you will want to solve problems directly, whereas she will want to passive aggressively ignore them to avoid conflict. If it's serious enough and continues to happen, she will run away instead of working it out.

(04-03-2016 05:36 AM)RaymondKertezc Wrote:  My wife said shortly after she got to the U.S. that I should get bigger muscles, but then when I said I was going to start working out, she backpedaled and said she didn't want it to take away from spending time with her. I took that at face value and figured, "Well, my job is about to go perm anyway, and then I'll have access to the company's fitness center, so it can't hurt to put off for a few weeks getting into a workout routine."

She backpedaled because she realized that you becoming more attractive would give you more options. I've dated Filipinas who admitted to me they were purposely trying to make me fat so other girls wouldn't look at me.

(04-03-2016 05:36 AM)RaymondKertezc Wrote:  But at this point I feel like getting big and getting some testosterone in my body for my own benefit, and to increase the masculine/feminine polarity between us. It's the same reason I've been encouraging her to grow her hair longer, wear dresses instead of pants, etc. If she had her way, I'm pretty sure that she would want to just have a small family and get a job, so she could be freer to travel around the world and post the resulting pics to Facebook. At the same time, though, she's still an order of magnitude more accommodating and submissive than any American woman I've been with.

Definitely. Do everything you can to benefit yourself. The better you look, the more attractive you'll be, the more on her toes she will be. Look up dread game by Roissy.

Don't take a Filipina's word at face value. To them, what they say is all about the image it projects, and may not give any indication as to their true intentions. Watch their actions as a guide for their motives.

(04-03-2016 05:36 AM)RaymondKertezc Wrote:  Sex for me goes way beyond the physical; it's like the holy grail of female acceptance and love that I've sought all my life and so often couldn't figure out a way to get. So now I just want to gorge myself on it.

Personally, I think marrying for sex is a bad idea. In every marriage I've seen, the love fades over time and so does the attraction, especially for the woman. Most marriages that have been together for a long time seem to tolerate each other for the kids over anything else.

After the first few years of marriage, all sex will probably feel like duty sex for her. If she agreed to giving you duty sex before you got married, then she's not holding up her part of the agreement. Luckily, Filipino culture encourages duty sex, and a woman's lola will often tell the female members of the family that if their husband isn't getting sex from them, he will look elsewhere.

I would expect the sex to drop off at some point in the future unless you're able to keep her honest on holding up her word. Your other option is to get other women on the side. That is actually common and acceptable in Asia for those who can pull it off.

(04-03-2016 05:36 AM)RaymondKertezc Wrote:  Anyway, everything ended up being okay. We had a conversation about an hour or two ago, and I agreed that I would listen to her more when she says that she's sore or her back hurts or whatever, and be sensitive to her need to wait till those symptoms subside before having sex. She reassured me that she's not malingering when she brings up physical symptoms as a reason why she doesn't want to have sex. And ultimately she gave me what I wanted, which was a promise that she'd have sex with me whenever I want. (Which means that, after listening to her, I still get to make the decision.)

Yep, she is saying what she thinks you want to hear in order to get her way and portray herself in a good light. If she was single and Brad Pitt walked in the room, I can guarantee you her back pain would magically disappear. I would not be surprised if this continues to be an issue in the future.

Keep in mind that if you're married in the west, the woman does have the upper hand in every respect. The important thing is making sure that doesn't go to her head, and making her believe that she has more to lose by losing you than she has to gain.

(04-03-2016 05:36 AM)RaymondKertezc Wrote:  She told me that I'm spoiled, and I grinned. I love being spoiled; it's why I married a Filipina this time around. I wanted an easy relationship.

I hope I am wrong, but things will not be easy. It may be easy now, but other issues will become apparent as time progresses. There are countless stories of westerners marrying Pinays based on everything being perfect at face value, and learning the hard way later on. There are aspects of their culture that will help. As long as she's reminded of how shameful a divorce, or a broken family would be to everyone in her social circle, it may help keep her in line. It certainly helps if the rest of her family will be on your side in making things work. On the other hand, if she has a better life than her relatives, they may try to put wedges between you two or spread gossip on you out of jealousy.

You cannot use your western sensibilities when approaching this marriage or you'll be surprised often. I would strongly encourage you to educate yourself on Filipino culture and relationships. I would start with:

Philippines Cultural observations: /thread-50668.html
Culture Shock! Philippines (slightly blue pill): http://www.amazon.com/dp/9814484016/
Phil Fail Blog (pessimistic, but good for your awareness): http://www.philippinefailblog.com/

I know it sounds like I'm just being an asshole, but I've seen many guys who are relatively new to how things work in SEA end up getting burned. I'm trying to give you a realistic perspective here. I've been to the Philippines almost a half dozen times and dated many Filipinas, as well as talked to many guys who have lived there for years. I've read a lot of books on the culture, history, and people. I'd be happy to talk over PM if there's anything you want to discuss. Best of luck man.

Post: #27

Refusal to have carnal knowledge with ones spouse is grounds for divorce.

Post: #28

(04-03-2016 09:43 AM)Suits Wrote:  As a guy who actually games, I can't imagine asking for sex. When I want to have sex with a girl, I either pick her up and carry her to the bedroom or I grab her hand and lead her there.

I don't think I've every once asked for sex in my entire life.

With all that craft beer you're lucky you only have to lift waif-like Chinese girls.

Ok that's the last one for awhile

And to OP, like Dante said, post how you courted your chick in the Wife Hunting Thread. It would be a nice payback for all this advice you have received.

Post: #29

A precedent has to be set before marriage.

Post: #30

(04-03-2016 12:43 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  The more details you give the more it is sounding like you may have a real personal issue.

You talk about repressed sexual urges/involuntary celibacy, a somewhat traumatic previous marriage, fetishes, etc. Seems like you have some real insecurities you need to work out and you are, unfortunately, taking it out on your lovely wife.

Marriage may not have been the best choice for you if you haven't worked out all these sexual quirks of yours, but you already bit the bullet (twice) so it's too late for that.

You need to find another healthy way to release this tension of yours. From your own account, it sounds like your woman is doing great by you - great by any reasonable man's standards.

It's okay, she's tolerant, forgiving, and accommodating enough that my quirks don't end up destroying the relationship. From her perspective, I'm an improvement over the first ex of hers who impregnated her and forced her to illegally abort the child so it wouldn't interfere with his career as a policeman; and the second ex of hers who slapped her across the face when she confronted him over his cheating with a married woman.

Filipino men tend to mistreat their women so badly that even the more eccentric American men seem like top shelf gentlemen by comparison. She's always telling me that I'm the best husband in the world. Her family likes me better than they liked her exes too.

Post: #31

(04-03-2016 01:46 PM)Travesty Wrote:  

(04-03-2016 09:43 AM)Suits Wrote:  As a guy who actually games, I can't imagine asking for sex. When I want to have sex with a girl, I either pick her up and carry her to the bedroom or I grab her hand and lead her there.

I don't think I've every once asked for sex in my entire life.

With all that craft beer you're lucky you only have to lift waif-like Chinese girls.

Post: #32

(04-03-2016 11:25 AM)RaymondKertezc Wrote:  Finally she drew the line, saying that her pussy was sore and her back hurt.

I don't think I fear her straying. It's not a behavior that Filipinas are known for.

I'm not exactly sure which Filipinas you've been hanging around, but every single one of them will "stray" if they aren't happy.

This one is obviously not going to stray to find more sex.

Reason being YOU ARE FUCKING HER TWICE A DAY AND MORE ON THE WEEKENDS!

This chick is going to leave you because her vagina is getting destroyed and you won't stop. She's gonna find an old man that takes her to dinner and CAN'T fuck her. I know Pinays, trust me.

Maybe when you told her multiple times that you need sex a lot, or whatever, you should have been a little clearer about the sex slave part. It seems to me you are the one who was unclear.

Heres my question:

If you insist on keeping up this pace, what happens when she gets a urinary tract infection or some other twat ailment?

Aloha!

Post: #33

OP, I don't understand something. You say your fetish is like, having a sex-slave, kind of. So you go to the Philippines. Ok, this I do understand. But then, you marry a Filipina woman. Marry her. Thus giving her power, a lot, upon you. Why did you marry her or any Filipina, if you really just want a sort of ultra-submissive "sex-slave"? Have (non upper-class) third-World girlfriends (not wives), if you want ultra submissive women.

Also from what you said of your wife, I think she is nice but clever and strong-willed. So, well, good luck with your sex-slaving fantasy: It won't happen with her, or not for long anyway. Also, she will get westernized, fast... less and less compliant...

Post: #34

OP is complaining about having sex twice a day with his wife is not enough...why is anyone taking this seriously?

Post: #35

(04-03-2016 10:07 PM)BassPlayaYo Wrote:  OP is complaining about having sex twice a day with his wife is not enough...why is anyone taking this seriously?

Especially as OP's name is about a fantasist fictional poet who's created for the sole purpose of making people talk, and checking their attention-span... ?

Post: #36

Yes, between this and his other thread and his sign-up date....something smell fishy here.

If this is what I think it is, it's incredibly elaborate.

Post: #37

(04-04-2016 08:44 AM)Suits Wrote:  Yes, between this and his other thread and his sign-up date....something smell fishy here.

If this is what I think it is, it's incredibly elaborate.

Post: #38

(04-04-2016 08:44 AM)Suits Wrote:  Yes, between this and his other thread and his sign-up date....something smell fishy here.

If this is what I think it is, it's incredibly elaborate.

OP created Kingswiki and already had a high rep at only a few posts, so I'd expect he was vetted before the creation of kingswiki.

Most likely he is someone who is coming to the red pill after a lifetime of blue pill conditioning and the subsequent fallout of a blue pill relationship. I think he's being honest, since I've had very similar experiences to what he's describing (I was engaged to a Filipina at one point).

Edit: It can sometimes take a lifetime of learning and experience to overcome our blue pill conditioning. Many of us are in different stages of that, and there will be aspects of it that are difficult to for us to accept. It takes time and effort. There is no simple solution or magic bullet. That was what I was trying to convey in my earlier post in the thread: It is not as simple as going to the Philippines, marrying a girl from the province and bringing her back.

Perhaps I was too negative and pessimistic. This should be a constructive environment.

Post: #39

(04-03-2016 10:39 PM)Going strong Wrote:  

(04-03-2016 10:07 PM)BassPlayaYo Wrote:  OP is complaining about having sex twice a day with his wife is not enough...why is anyone taking this seriously?

Especially as OP's name is about a fantasist fictional poet who's created for the sole purpose of making people talk, and checking their attention-span... ?

I mean sex 1-2 times every day on average? I mean his schlong has to get sore eventually I mean basically any marriage compared to this is sexless.

Post: #40

I find it hard to believe that you're complaining about a traditional wife whom you fuck 2 times a day and who only rarely rejects you in a very gentle way. By your own admission she doesn't even say "no", she's just asking you to give her a few hours to recover.

Relax, I am really not getting the vibe that she is rejecting you out of a lack of attraction. And I am also not getting the vibe that she minds your insistence. Just take it easy and keep gently pushing but also being appreciative of the good job she's doing. Exploding with anger and arguing over this "issue" is just not worth it and would only bring trouble.

Post: #41

If she lets him leave the house without his balls drained, is she going to be surprised when some other lizard drains them for him?

Post: #42

Guys,

My wife cooks me 3 meals a day of healthy food of whatever I want. One time she only gave me 3 whole eggs and 4 egg whites in my custom ordered omelet. I wanted 4 whole eggs and 3 egg whites. In between her cracking each egg she gave me a blow job and wasn't focused on feeding me. How much of this should I take?

Post: #43

That's why I ordered my Filipina on Amazon Prime. I got the extended "Will never refuse sex" warrantee with a 90 day return policy. Shipping only took two days too!

Post: #44

If you really want to make your wife crazy when she turns you down do this.

You: "wife, lets bang"
Wife: "no"
You: "You must be tired after a long day..."

She will think "oh you're so considerate"...really ham it up. Offer to get her a blanked on the couch, put her feet up etc. After she is all comfortable like a human sloth, go upstairs, jump in the shower, get some nice clothes on and come back downstairs with car keys audibly jingling.

Wife: "Where are you going?! its 10 oclock at night"
You: "Going out for a drink, is that a problem?"...while pretending to read important messages on your phone

At this point she will freak the fuck out. You must go somewhere to have at least 1 beer despite her protests. You have established that you are willing to go out with a loaded set of balls is she isn't willing to take care of things. Don't actually be an idiot and cheat on her but feel free to flirt, add girls to facebook or at least get selfies with pretty ones.

If she does not freak out, or even rushes you out the door...well you're fucked and you should probably have someone watch your place after you leave to see if she leaves the house or some strange guy comes over.

This is called, mutual destruction game, and can backfire like the cold war. If she is not invested in the marriage, moves like this will hasten its end.

Post: #45

Did anyone read that bit about how she ran away from her traditional family for a while and cut her hair short? Isn't that a little strange?

I know a lot of girls do crazy shit in their younger years, but I think OP got married too fast.

Post: #46

(04-03-2016 05:36 AM)RaymondKertezc Wrote:  snip

The problem is that you're asking for sex, and I speak as a married man. Your default assumption is that it is happening whenever you goddamn well feel like it. I suspect you have some structural changes you need to make as well as behavioral ones as well. For heaven's sake, STOP ASKING FOR SEX.

And dude, I think you really need some kind of therapy, sex being your holy grail of female acceptence? Jesus dude, you need some help. There is no holy grail. My holy grail after my ex aborting my baby was a woman who would have my babies, and as many babies as I wanted. Then my wife had to get her tubes tied after kid #5. You better believe that fucked me up and threw me for a loop and it took me two years to figure out how to handle it.

I highly, highly suggest looking Athol Kay's material. He translates red pill concepts into the context of a married man's life. From what I've read of your posts RaymondKertezc, you are the ideal guy to read his stuff and make very good use of it.

Here's an old review of athol's original MMSL books that basically made my introduction into the red pill manosphere.


http://www.freedomtwentyfive.com/2011/05...-sex-life/


He has a video series for $100. Buy it.

http://marriedmansexlife.com/blog/

He has books too, buy those:

http://www.amazon.com/Athol-Kay/e/B00788530Y

The guys on this forum can sometimes give good advice for marriage, but most have not been married, nor is this really a pro marriage forum. I come here for reading about general game principles, travel, career advice and male friendly forum.

Post: #47

I used to get rejected like 80% of the time by my stay at home wife of 8 years despite making a lot of money blah blah blah. Started reading these websites and spending a lot of time with stripers. Lost 40lbs. Now she does what I want. Still a struggle but things are a lot better. She can ask you to not have sex and you can say yes or no but the choice has to be yours, never hers.

If I tried the leaving at night thing to go drink it would not work how it is described above. I do it from time to time and she just accepts it. Six drinks and a few hours later I go home and get laid, it's weird. I'd never let her do that. I think she is just so dependent on me that she has no power left or something. I took it all away. Not sure if this helps.

Post: #48

They say women control the sex and men control the commitment.

I find that in my LTR, controlling both works nicely

Post: #49

OP seems to have ignored requests by a few members to add value in the Wife Hunting thread.

I would have at least addressed it if I were him. I'm not a fan of people receiving advice and not giving back.

Here's hoping.

Post: #50

The next time you're rejected, you persist, slowly. Kiss her neck, up the foreplay, use whatever tricks you know of to get her aroused. Women change their minds so fast, all of a sudden she won't even remember she said no or why the first time. Of course if you get a very firm "no" or she physically tries to push you away, you've got bigger problems mate. The answer to how much sexual refusal you should tolerate from any woman, much less your wife, is zero.

Come on, really? This is the kind of attitude that earns Roosh V Forum members a reputation for being pro-rape.