Post: #76

(05-16-2016 06:20 PM)Kona Wrote:  

(05-15-2016 09:41 PM)mrland Wrote:  

(04-29-2016 11:08 AM)fellowhuntsman Wrote:  As a fellow married (and high sex drive) male, what I told my wife was, "Look, you know my expectations about frequency. If you aren't going to meet them that's fine. I'm not going to whine, beg, threaten etc. But I'll get them met elsewhere." Since then (about 3 years ago) no problems. She gets a pass for actually sickness or period. Otherwise she stays available. And frankly, it's fixed other problems too and actually improved our relationship quite a bit.

I appreciate your ability, can you share more for me?

Does she need a doctors note?

That's a joke, but I do have a question.

As a high sex drive guy, how have you been able to only bang the same woman for that three years?

Aloha!

it's getting rarer, but I supplement as necessary, especially if the trip lasts and conditions are right. I can talk backchannel about that. there's a set of rules I try to honor when doing married game that have worked so far.

Post: #77

zero

Post: #78

(04-08-2016 12:40 PM)jimmysax54 Wrote:  Once women hit their mid 40s with kids and life stresses, they start to lose interest in sex...men will almost always want it more than women later in life. I still feel like I'm 25, she acts like shes 85!

I've heard generalizations in the reverse, that women's libido increases into MILF age and men peter out into impotence in their 40s.

Two out of three 40 something single parents I've been with had high sex drives and war stories of men who were disinterested, incompetent, or incapable in bed. Sure, some of that MAY have had to do with them hitting the wall. But the end results are the end results.

Point being that there's a difference between partners not wanting to have sex together and a desire to get-off (raw libido). Look deeper into a "sexless" couple and you're likely to find a guy fapping to porn and a woman addicted to her pocket-rocket. The total weekly orgasm count probably isn't going down much.

Post: #79

As usual, most problems are the culmination of the weeks, months and years prior to the problem itself coming to a head.

I successfully program my wife to my expectations by steering her on an even and level timeframe, not by trying to force an issue at the last moment.

Given this particular issue, here's an example. We're driving to where-ever and she's talking about some man or woman in her familial circle who's tapping some strange on the side or leaving the home for greener sexual pastures.

I reply to the effect of, "that's some nasty shit, but I suspect their marriage was fairly loveless and sexless for a long time before this happened."

Since we fuck most regularly she doesn't take this statement as a threat to our relationship status, but it ensures she knows what's expected of her well into the future. If she's feeling a bit snarky she might shit-test me by replying, "if we stopped having sex would you leave me?"

To which I would deflect, "I'd be pretty a pretty miserable blue balled fuckwit like (John Smith) if that were the case and it wouldn't be long before you left me, so it would be a moot point."

She gets put on notice but in a way that protects her ego and those huge crevasses in the road of marriage thus get turned into tiny little potholes that you bounce over with little concern.

p.s. I'm not accepting any chest thumping "red-pilled" repudiation about how beta that is from anyone who has not successfully managed a wife and kids for at least 10 years.

Post: #80

^^^ Leonard's post is an excellent example of leadership and overlaps with many of the comments in this leadership thread, especially this comment from General Stalin:

(02-15-2017 03:12 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  A lot of newbies play the "controlling dbag" frame as a sort of fake-it-till-you-make-it trip. They read that alpha men do what they want, say what they want, and make others do and say what they want and they think the way to go about that is to be stubborn and stern and cold with their delivery. That comes across as sociopathic not alpha.

Many guys seem to perceive "alpha" as a stern "my way or the highway" attitude but a huge part of effective leadership is understanding the people you are leading (i.e. understanding a female's emotions in the context of a relationship) so that you can articulate your thoughts in a way that resonates with them.

Post: #81

In my last LTR (8+ years), the sex all but fizzled out. She was older than me and yes at age 40, when we first met, her sex drive seemed optimal. Later, she would refuse my advances and when we did have sex, she was dry and uncomfortable. Don't fall for the myth of the older woman's sexual peakness. It may get wet for random hoook-ups but that shit does not last.
Take into account my LTR's mood disorder and it was fucking nightmare. I was taking Lexipro for anxiety and it decreased my sex drive. The decreased drive was welcomed to combat the sexual frustration. I will never put up with a bish that refuses sex again in my life.