Post: #1

This is the first time I'm really giving thought to this issue. I hooked up with this girl I've vaguely known for several months, at a Halloween party. She opened me but she clocked me first. I take that as a huge IOI and proceed accordingly. We go back and shit happens. For most of the following day she was a bit cold and distant before suddenly getting all cuddly and shit out of nowhere. Left her place on a good note despite being a bit perturbed by the on/off behaviour. She said she has liked me "for ages" supposedly.

I didn't text, or call, or message her all the following week. You know, so as not to seem needy. Then the bitch snubs me on Facebook (I know, I know, get off Facebook) over a playful (not simping) picture comment. We're in the same place at the weekend just gone and she isn't an outright bitch to me, but something feels a bit off. I shoot her a message saying "hey, you looked good last night". Ignored. Mistake? I want to see if she wants to hang again but after being rude to me like that I can't really bring myself to initiate the conversation after being ignored. The way I see it she should be chasing me for being a couple years younger than her and more attractive. Where do you draw the line?

Did I do something wrong here? Right now I'm doing a lot of deliberating in my head over the concept of "good looking guy game". I am used to girls telling me I'm attractive, "hot", even "pretty" etc. Threads on the subject informed me that you have to strike a careful balance between alpha/beta like behaviour. I know some guys out there might think that being "good looking" makes it all so much easier, but ever since my adolescence I've been learning the hard way that it can be a huge double edged sword. Before game/red pill I would just blunder through these situations and whatever happened, happened. Now being aware of it may be leading me to over-analyze. I could be tripping myself up and have no idea until its too late.

Have I done too much here? Not enough? Is she just a weird bitch? I'm pretty sure about the last part. Its the rest that I need clarity on.

Post: #2

Bad sex
Herpes flare up
Her ex is back in the picture
Born again Muslim
You're not the guy She imagined you to be
You were a jerk to her, in her mind.

You can't obsess over her actions. You got the bang move on. See her in public, say Hi, but keep it moving.

Consider this a win. You fucked but don't have to deal with her weird emotional bs.

If a chick got a problem with you, but doesn't want to say so, but wants to manipulate you into trying to drag it out of her, bounce!

WIA

Post: #3

(11-17-2015 07:43 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  We're in the same place at the weekend just gone and she isn't an outright bitch to me, but something feels a bit off ... I want to see if she wants to hang again but after being rude to me like that I can't really bring myself to initiate the conversation after being ignored ... Where do you draw the line?

^^^^^ The line is here

(11-17-2015 07:43 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  Did I do something wrong here?

This ...

(11-17-2015 07:43 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  leading me to over-analyze. I could be tripping myself up and have no idea until its too late.

(11-17-2015 07:43 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  Have I done too much here? Not enough? Is she just a weird bitch?

Yes to the first. Can't say for sure without knowing her for the third. But if she is giving you the cold shoulder then let her wallow in it. If your a prize in her eyes let her gaze upon it from a distance!

I am sure there are other members of this forum who are better placed and more knowledgeable then I. However, in summary I think you've answered your own questions.

Post: #4

(11-17-2015 08:20 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  Bad sex
Herpes flare up
Her ex is back in the picture
Born again Muslim
You're not the guy She imagined you to be
You were a jerk to her, in her mind.

You can't obsess over her actions. You got the bang move on. See her in public, say Hi, but keep it moving.

Consider this a win. You fucked but don't have to deal with her weird emotional bs.

If a chick got a problem with you, but doesn't want to say so, but wants to manipulate you into trying to drag it out of her, bounce!

WIA

That and some girls just want to have sex with you

Post: #5

How old is she? If she's late 20s/early 30s, she might feel the clock ticking and be looking for a provider. If you hooked up with her quickly, she might be embarrassed and realize that it's going to be hard to convince you that she's not easy. If you're good looking with options, and she's a few years older she might realize it'll be hard for you to see her more than a FB. Don't burn the bridge. Wait for her to get bored of joe beta and hit you up when she needs to scratch that itch.

Post: #6

Major problem...

You're trying to ascribe logic to a woman's antics.

They do not use logic. They have no master plan. We refer to their brains as a "hamster wheel" for a reason. Their behavior is dictated almost entirely by their emotion, which is often completely irrational.

You do you without any regard to her antics whatsoever. That's keeping the frame.

Post: #7

My last two memorable bangs were like this. I say memorable because they were extremely hot and I wanted to keep seeing them after the bang. They both went cold with little explanation. I couldn't figure it out. I did the same thing you're doing now: Overanalyzing everything and trying to see where things went wrong. Bad sex? I don't see how that's possible when you fuck them like a pornstar, they're too sore to continue, and ask for a second round later in the night.

Ultimately it comes down to what Hank said. Chances are they're fucked in the head in some way. You may have done almost everything right, but their hamster is an irrational, sometimes unpredictable juggernaut that will cockblock you from anything further after the bang.

Don't waste time agonizing over it. Generally speaking, men are rational, grounded beings. We don't operate on the same wavelength as an overgrown child.

Post: #8

(11-17-2015 08:35 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

(11-17-2015 08:20 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  Bad sex
Herpes flare up
Her ex is back in the picture
Born again Muslim
You're not the guy She imagined you to be
You were a jerk to her, in her mind.

You can't obsess over her actions. You got the bang move on. See her in public, say Hi, but keep it moving.

Consider this a win. You fucked but don't have to deal with her weird emotional bs.

If a chick got a problem with you, but doesn't want to say so, but wants to manipulate you into trying to drag it out of her, bounce!

WIA

That and some girls just want to have sex with you

Also, if you had sex with them right away, I think that it's possible some girls feel like a slut when they do this and regret it later even if they were loving getting fucked at that moment. We have to build attraction and comfort, not one or the other.

What I am finding out, if I am not building up lots of attraction right away when you first meet them and go out with them the first time, lots of kino, they will say they didn't feel any connection and not want to meet again. If they meet and are really turned on after I warm them up, light and fun and lots of kino, and have sex right away, they sometimes go cold afterwards, because I spent no time getting to know them and put all my effort into turning them on.

Do both.

Post: #9

I agree with the others in that it's a fools errand to apply logic to something as illogical as a woman's behavior. If I had to wager a guess as to why she went cold I would say there's likely another guy in the picture such as an ex, current boyfriend or someone that she's more hung up on than you. All you can do now is cut out all efforts at reaching out to her...as in forever. In your mind from this point forward she's dead to you. If she reaches out to you sometime in the future, don't dither, go for the immediate close and set a time to meet up with her. If she balks at meeting up again cut out all contact with her.

Post: #10

Just dont think about it and go bang other girls. It could be a million reasons in the world, and only one of which has to do with you: bad sex.

If it was the latter, make a note to yourself to improve next time. You should always try to improve anyway. If it's not, it's none of your business.

And dont waste time overanalyzing if you gave her good sex either... If you have to ask it was probably bad.

I've gotten so indifferent with girl's motives now that I even forget if a girl answer my text, shows up to date or goes cold after sex. I'm sure it costs me a few bangs since a few girls just want to feel wanted, but one damn thing I sure as hell didn't waste was my good fucking time.

Your time along with your attention are the only currency you have in this game, spend it well.

Quote:We have to build attraction and comfort, not one or the other.

Of course, but I think this is more to find a girlfriend or at least a plate.

All in all, OP got a bang. Cheers to that. Stop thinking negative man, use that energy to propel you forward to other girls.

Post: #11

(11-17-2015 07:43 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  This is the first time I'm really giving thought to this issue. I hooked up with this girl I've vaguely known for several months, at a Halloween party. She opened me but she clocked me first. I take that as a huge IOI and proceed accordingly. We go back and shit happens. For most of the following day she was a bit cold and distant before suddenly getting all cuddly and shit out of nowhere. Left her place on a good note despite being a bit perturbed by the on/off behaviour. She said she has liked me "for ages" supposedly.

I didn't text, or call, or message her all the following week. You know, so as not to seem needy. Then the bitch snubs me on Facebook (I know, I know, get off Facebook) over a playful (not simping) picture comment. We're in the same place at the weekend just gone and she isn't an outright bitch to me, but something feels a bit off. I shoot her a message saying "hey, you looked good last night". Ignored. Mistake? I want to see if she wants to hang again but after being rude to me like that I can't really bring myself to initiate the conversation after being ignored. The way I see it she should be chasing me for being a couple years younger than her and more attractive. Where do you draw the line?

Did I do something wrong here? Right now I'm doing a lot of deliberating in my head over the concept of "good looking guy game". I am used to girls telling me I'm attractive, "hot", even "pretty" etc. Threads on the subject informed me that you have to strike a careful balance between alpha/beta like behaviour. I know some guys out there might think that being "good looking" makes it all so much easier, but ever since my adolescence I've been learning the hard way that it can be a huge double edged sword. Before game/red pill I would just blunder through these situations and whatever happened, happened. Now being aware of it may be leading me to over-analyze. I could be tripping myself up and have no idea until its too late.

Have I done too much here? Not enough? Is she just a weird bitch? I'm pretty sure about the last part. Its the rest that I need clarity on.

Yes you're likely over-analyzing. As WIA wrote, you got the bang so consider it one in the win column....regardless of what happens (or doesn't) from here on

It's often hard to understand chicks reactions, when youre "too close" to the situation.

My intuition without knowing more specifics than the two or three items I've highlighted above tells me she was possibly if not likely looking for you to be more into her after she gave you "the grand prize"...her pussy. If she "liked you for ages" then she had probably envisioned a different aftermath than the reality you gave her (ignoring her for a week). She opened up emotionally by telling you that: She opened up (literally) and let you penetrate her. That's a lot of exposure. We as men often don't consider the amount of vulnerability required in order for most women to allow a man to fuck em. (Except for the sluts to which fucking means as much as eating a sandwich means to us) The fact that you weren't all into her AFTERWARDS perhaps triggered insecurities, leading to withdrawal, as a self defense mechanism.

Does the above sound plausible? If so then there are a couple ways to play this into hitting it again

Post: #12

After she banged she realized she doesn't like you that much after all.

I feel the same towards women on a regular basis.

Women are not immune from this either. There's no need to look any further into it.

Post: #13

"Thank you for giving me access to your body and your pussy. It's been my pleasure."

Turn, start walking out the door, and just before opening the door, turn your head back..."Peace girl" with a smirk.

Sorta kidding, but...Don't be so upset about a girl fucking you for the sake of fucking. Enjoy it.

And you will learn...

We aren't a bunch of assholes on here just trying to be players and treat girls like sluts to feel manly. We aren't saying you should pump n dump just to feel more alpha and to brag about online. A lot of girls really are sluts. That's why we treat them that way. it's not women-hate. It's based on our experiences.

This is something I've learned only in the past year. Girls sometimes just wanna fuck. Sometimes they bang a couple dicks, then get back together with the ex and marry him. Sometimes she wants a guy she can control who really *needs* her, and, while you're a great fuck and really attractive, you only want her, you don't really *need* her.

I could go on and on...all stuff I've learned in the last year.

Post: #14

(11-17-2015 04:18 PM)heavy Wrote:  Girls sometimes just wanna fuck. Sometimes they bang a couple dicks, then get back together with the ex and marry him. Sometimes she wants a guy she can control who really *needs* her, and, while you're a great fuck and really attractive, you only want her, you don't really *need* her.

Exactly this.

Post: #15

Great replies guys. That's what I love about this community. Its all about keeping yourself grounded. I keep getting tempted to message her either something teasing or straight up ask what her problem is. In the past I would have done the latter without thinking, oblivious to how it would make me look. The temptation is strong, too. Though I have no love for these games, I still have my pride.

(11-17-2015 03:50 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Yes you're likely over-analyzing. As WIA wrote, you got the bang so consider it one in the win column....regardless of what happens (or doesn't) from here on

It's often hard to understand chicks reactions, when youre "too close" to the situation.

My intuition without knowing more specifics than the two or three items I've highlighted above tells me she was possibly if not likely looking for you to be more into her after she gave you "the grand prize"...her pussy. If she "liked you for ages" then she had probably envisioned a different aftermath than the reality you gave her (ignoring her for a week). She opened up emotionally by telling you that: She opened up (literally) and let you penetrate her. That's a lot of exposure. We as men often don't consider the amount of vulnerability required in order for most women to allow a man to fuck em. (Except for the sluts to which fucking means as much as eating a sandwich means to us) The fact that you weren't all into her AFTERWARDS perhaps triggered insecurities, leading to withdrawal, as a self defense mechanism.

Does the above sound plausible? If so then there are a couple ways to play this into hitting it again

It does indeed sound plausible, though I have my suspicions about her slut levels. What are your suggestions?

Post: #16

I wouldn't ignore completely what the others have said as they do have valid points for many cases, but it's very important to consider the context:

(11-17-2015 07:43 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  This is the first time I'm really giving thought to this issue. I hooked up with this girl I've vaguely known for several months, at a Halloween party. She opened me but she clocked me first. I take that as a huge IOI and proceed accordingly. We go back and shit happens.

In her mind she's been way into you, but not just to fuck you. She is at a Halloween party, where inhibitions are low and almost every girl loves to dress a little provocative on Halloween.

(11-17-2015 07:43 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  For most of the following day she was a bit cold and distant before suddenly getting all cuddly and shit out of nowhere. Left her place on a good note despite being a bit perturbed by the on/off behaviour. She said she has liked me "for ages" supposedly.

She was a little cold and distant because she realized that she fucked you and she holds no power over trying to get you into a relationship. She was testing you to see if you'd leave or if you actually were into her. You stayed, so then she opened up again because in her mind you may be into her after all for more than just the one night. You left her place on a good note, she admitted to liking you for ages. This is not easy for a girl. Women are not used to the rejection that men face. They rarely have any real concept of this.

(11-17-2015 07:43 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  I didn't text, or call, or message her all the following week. You know, so as not to seem needy.

For an entire week? You knew she was way into you. Seeming "needy" is not part of this equation, you didn't calibrate at all to the situation and seriously overgamed.

(11-17-2015 07:43 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  Then the bitch snubs me on Facebook (I know, I know, get off Facebook) over a playful (not simping) picture comment.

You fucked her, then ignored her for a week, when she even told you straight out she had liked you for ages. Then you call her a bitch for snubbing you on Facebook? Not white knighting for her, but how can you think SHE is the bitch (or asshole) on this one?

(11-17-2015 07:43 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  We're in the same place at the weekend just gone and she isn't an outright bitch to me, but something feels a bit off. I shoot her a message saying "hey, you looked good last night". Ignored. Mistake? I want to see if she wants to hang again but after being rude to me like that I can't really bring myself to initiate the conversation after being ignored. The way I see it she should be chasing me for being a couple years younger than her and more attractive. Where do you draw the line?

Your compliment fell on deaf ears because you treated her like shit then tried to follow it up with a weak compliment. She knows you don't mean it or you've already pissed her off and hurt her so much that she isn't going to come around with a random message.

Being the prize and adjusting your game somewhat to "good looking guy" game really has nothing to do with this situation. You're not even doing the most basic of calibration which would be to consider the huge revelation that she's been into you for ages. Any experienced seducer will tell you that this is a HUGE marker for how to handle the girl going forward. If you want to keep dating her there's a route to take and if you want her to move on there's another route to take. You are attempting to take both routes and as expected the result is negative.

I want you to understand, I don't care if you only want her for sex, but you really can't expect to get that from a girl that admits she has been into you for ages, especially if you change your behavior back and forth between into her and not into her. Her actions make a lot of sense to me given your actions.

Post: #17

^^^^This

AO did a MUCH better job of articulating the points I was trying to make.

Post: #18

You make a lot of sense. I'm guilty of blundering my way through these things sometimes. Right now I think I should talk to her. Unless I've screwed it up already.

Post: #19

I admit I had liked her for a while too. I'm just very conscious of coming across as needy as it was always what killed me in the past.

Post: #20

(11-17-2015 05:31 PM)UroboricForms Wrote:  I admit I had liked her for a while too. I'm just very conscious of coming across as needy as it was always what killed me in the past.

You admitted to her or you admit here? Do not tell her that but re-engage in a low key fashion, she was clearly hurt by your lack of interaction so you need to recover from your mistakes at this point...you need to tread carefully without losing frame and focus on what you want...I don't know the vibe so you have to calibrate that to your situation. Good luck!

Post: #21

^^^^This

The good news is that she probably is still into you and in a weird way maybe even more so now.

You can reengage with something low key, but keep in mind that she will likely think "Oh he's just horny and wants to bang me again and then not call for a week again". If she's looking for a fuck buddy or booty call then no problem. If she's looking to be more than that then obviously that's a problem. It sounds like she was likely looking for more "romance" though.

Everyone's style is different but I've had success with variations of the "I had a dream about you" text as a "reopen" when things stall out. Here's a version that worked for another forum member I recommended it to:

/thread-49521-...pid1085394

It's an oldie but goodie. Just scroll up in that thread and you'll see the specific scenario. Just customize it accordingly

Don't over think it. The key to not coming across as "needy" or weak is confidence.

Whatever happens, happens. Not giving a shit either way is what makes what you want to happen more likely

Post: #22

Well, looks like I've been "friendzoned". I figured I'd rather know for sure so I asked her what was up. There was an almost clinical detachment to the way she spelled out that we supposedly aren't "compatible". This one is truly jaded. And probably defective too. However she did say we're "cool" and that I hadn't pissed her off with my lack of contact. Not sure how much I believe that of course. I've heard "you're an awesome person blah blah etc etc" enough times, in enough variations, to know it basically means "i'm not going to fuck you but keep you around incase I can get something out of you". Why should this be any different?

I haven't responded and I guess I'm just going to leave it at that. For now. Of course I am not going to play along and be relegated to an orbiter (which I get the strong feeling she is used to). I would have said something teasing in response but I think silence is the best language at this stage. Which brings me to me next point: I know women can be remarkably sociopathic in their ability to "switch off" their feelings for you, but if she really was that into me surely it can't be that cut and dry? I get the feeling there is some attempt at saving face going on here.

Anyway, she wasn't especially hot and like was said, I still banged and don't have to deal with any emotional bullshit. In the past I would have gotten really down over this for probably weeks at a time, but I can do better and younger than her and it only motivates me to keep up the training and self improvement so a few months from now it'll be a distant memory, and she might just look at me (preferably with some hotter younger thing on my arm) and go "damn, I was an idiot for letting that one go".

Post: #23

(11-18-2015 08:16 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  However she did say we're "cool" and that I hadn't pissed her off with my lack of contact.

Translation: I can't believe I bared my soul to you, we had "magical" sex and then you disappeared for a week. I hate you for all eternity!

I hear what you're saying OP about not wanting to appear too needy as it's something we all still struggle with from time to time. I think it was BlurredSevens who had a technique where he would bang a new girl and then contact her the next day and they would message back and forth a few times and he would plant the idea of getting together again in the future but not make specific plans (this week is busy, I have x going on etc.) Then the next week he would re-engage and setup the next meet. I personally like this approach as it soothes the next day buyer's remorse, it lets her know you're interested in more than a one and done but it's not needy or clingy.

Post: #24

(11-18-2015 10:47 AM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

(11-18-2015 08:16 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  However she did say we're "cool" and that I hadn't pissed her off with my lack of contact.

Translation: I can't believe I bared my soul to you, we had "magical" sex and then you disappeared for a week. I hate you for all eternity!

I hear what you're saying OP about not wanting to appear too needy as it's something we all still struggle with from time to time. I think it was BlurredSevens who had a technique where he would bang a new girl and then contact her the next day and they would message back and forth a few times and he would plant the idea of getting together again in the future but not make specific plans (this week is busy, I have x going on etc.) Then the next week he would re-engage and setup the next meet. I personally like this approach as it soothes the next day buyer's remorse, it lets her know you're interested in more than a one and done but it's not needy or clingy.

I love when things I've always done intuitively, but never thought about consciously are articulated and confirmed by the forum

Post: #25

(11-18-2015 08:16 AM)UroboricForms Wrote:  Well, looks like I've been "friendzoned". I figured I'd rather know for sure so I asked her what was up. There was an almost clinical detachment to the way she spelled out that we supposedly aren't "compatible". This one is truly jaded. And probably defective too. However she did say we're "cool" and that I hadn't pissed her off with my lack of contact. Not sure how much I believe that of course. I've heard "you're an awesome person blah blah etc etc" enough times, in enough variations, to know it basically means "i'm not going to fuck you but keep you around incase I can get something out of you". Why should this be any different?

I haven't responded and I guess I'm just going to leave it at that. For now. Of course I am not going to play along and be relegated to an orbiter (which I get the strong feeling she is used to). I would have said something teasing in response but I think silence is the best language at this stage. Which brings me to me next point: I know women can be remarkably sociopathic in their ability to "switch off" their feelings for you, but if she really was that into me surely it can't be that cut and dry? I get the feeling there is some attempt at saving face going on here.

Anyway, she wasn't especially hot and like was said, I still banged and don't have to deal with any emotional bullshit. In the past I would have gotten really down over this for probably weeks at a time, but I can do better and younger than her and it only motivates me to keep up the training and self improvement so a few months from now it'll be a distant memory, and she might just look at me (preferably with some hotter younger thing on my arm) and go "damn, I was an idiot for letting that one go".

You know what the awesome thing for you is? She said you guys are "cool."

You are so much higher value than her in her eyes, she will still be cool with you because she still doesn't see you as beneath her.

A huge benefit of being a good looking guy. You have such a leg up on the competition you don't even realize it. What I'd recommend is working hard on your game and your self-improvement. You will do very well if you do.