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My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
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barnbarn2k Offline
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Post: #26
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
B4 you get all butthurt check the main free dating sites, you don't need a profile to search pof and some others tinder is a lil more difficult. Whatever you do don't use your profiles to view her if you find her. I bet she's on one of them.

There is a change that happens to a guy when they "settle" for one woman. Women pick up on it. They feel it's repulsive.

Whenever a chick stops taking d is because she's getting it elsewhere. There are a few odd exceptions. Summer fling now bf is back in town. She wants a ltr and won't give it up no more till its official.
09-01-2015 08:03 AM
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Post: #27
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
What E-Mech said. That is all the advice you need. Ascertain shit after that.

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09-01-2015 11:54 AM
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Post: #28
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
I usually return the favor by getting them half way, making an excuse, and the rolling over and going to sleep or getting up and doing something else. A fight usually ensues, but I remain calm and they see the err or their ways, or they walk out. Either works for me.

“I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.” (1 Timothy 2:12)
09-01-2015 12:31 PM
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kaotic Offline
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Post: #29
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
(09-01-2015 12:31 PM)Indy Wrote:  I usually return the favor by getting them half way, making an excuse, and the rolling over and going to sleep or getting up and doing something else. A fight usually ensues, but I remain calm and they see the err or their ways, or they walk out. Either works for me.

Why bother doing this ? That makes no sense.

She shouldn't even be sleeping with you if she ain't putting out to being with.

The other cats on the thread are right.

If she ain't fucking you, she's fucking someone else.

A woman who disrespects you deserves to get kicked out of your pad immediately.

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09-01-2015 07:02 PM
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Post: #30
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
(08-31-2015 07:37 PM)Menace Wrote:  She's banging someone else.

This is the only thing that makes sense and we all know that it is true.

If the girl like you and you’ve been intimate, she will have sex even if she doesn’t want to.

By the way, this is how guys in LTR/marriage get betatized. “Can’t you respect that sometimes (read: every day except once a full moon) I just don’t want to have sex?”

Fucking bullshit. The only thing I respect is that she doesn’t want to have sex or it might even hurts her (my main is very tight) but she never refuses me. Next thing they will tell you that you have to respect the fact that they might cheat on you and that’s ok.

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09-02-2015 06:44 AM
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Post: #31
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
If she isn't giving you sex and showing little interest into you, she might be banging another guy.

I say this to all my girls if they show me any type of resistant after first bang. If you aren't in the mood we have a quicky so I can get off quickly and the same applies to you. How do you feel when you're horny and can't release your tension? It's wrong and torture and I don't want to be with a girl that ever says no to me when I want it. *Spread her legs dominantly* It will take less then a minute.

It rarely fails where you have to say it in a dominant manner.

If she says no, show her the door. Women know they can take power over a man by refusing to give him her pussy. Don't ever let a woman have power over you, show her the door and don't ever contact her again.

Set those boundaries after first bang. She starts putting on weight, find out how much she weighs and say "if you hit (weight) I'm dumping you." throw in a "if you lose more weight, I might not ever let you go." *look at her with a I want to fuck your brains out look on your face*

Negative hit follow by a positive hit which lead to you looking at her like she is a super model. One thing I learnt years ago was positive, negative, positive. It's how you get through to people. Reinforced with positive body language it's very powerful tool.
(This post was last modified: 09-10-2015 07:33 PM by easternwomenrule.)
09-10-2015 06:56 PM
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Post: #32
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
Abundance. Don't waste time with things like revenge. You are the man, you are the boss. Spread her legs dominantly, If she resists too much, show her the door. She will understand that she can't use the "no sex" trick to make you do something, as she ends up getting kicked out.

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09-12-2015 03:24 AM
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Post: #33
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
(09-01-2015 07:02 PM)kaotic Wrote:  
(09-01-2015 12:31 PM)Indy Wrote:  I usually return the favor by getting them half way, making an excuse, and the rolling over and going to sleep or getting up and doing something else. A fight usually ensues, but I remain calm and they see the err or their ways, or they walk out. Either works for me.

Why bother doing this ? That makes no sense.

She shouldn't even be sleeping with you if she ain't putting out to being with.

The other cats on the thread are right.

If she ain't fucking you, she's fucking someone else.

A woman who disrespects you deserves to get kicked out of your pad immediately.

You've got to love irony. A girl pulled this on me just a few days after my post. I kicked her out.

I'll defer to what you and everyone else are saying; there's truth in consensus. My abundance mentality has increased since joining this forum and find myself nexting over trivial shit. A year ago, I'd have played along in situations like these.
09-12-2015 10:51 AM
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Post: #34
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
This has also happened to me and I concur with the consensus here. Abundance mentality. Don't even drop her. Just go radio silence and get on with the other important shit you have to do in your life.

In these times, the hardest thing for me was to suddenly next a girl I liked. Even if she was giving me shit like the OP is getting, I found it really hard to let her go as if it was nothing. In fact that is still hard for me to do. But that's exactly what you need to do. The fact that this was such a problem you had to post about it here means she's a bust. Girls should make your life better, not worse.

The second hardest thing was I put too much pressure on myself to bang someone new after dropping her. I had this idea that I was a loser if I dropped her and then didn't replace her straight away with a new bang. Nowadays I don't worry about that, I do other shit like I work out, read, work, watch a documentary. No pressure on myself at all and I stay busy af. It's actually good to take a break, and of course when you do this new girls come around eventually anyway.

I've been in this situation before and OP you're at the beginnings of becoming her little bitch boy. No offense. I've been there too. Radio silence will snap her back to reality and turn shit around on her so fast she'll be begging to come over and bang. If not, she's banging someone else in which case you should be dropping her anyway.

Good luck.
09-12-2015 11:21 AM
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Post: #35
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
I remember asking for advice like this on a forum before I found game. I didn't want to hear/read anything that wasn't in my favor. My beta post are still floating around out there somewhere on the internet. Anyways, if you are reading this..save your self the headache and take the advice of the guys here.
09-12-2015 04:45 PM
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Post: #36
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
(09-12-2015 04:45 PM)~wrIghter~ Wrote:  I remember asking for advice like this on a forum before I found game. I didn't want to hear/read anything that wasn't in my favor. My beta post are still floating around out there somewhere on the internet. Anyways, if you are reading this..save your self the headache and take the advice of the guys here.

I'm sure a lot of us can relate. Most of us are too used to getting told what we want to hear when it comes to self-improvement--not what we need to hear.

It's hard to walk around in a society that peddles soft bullshit in your face, then to suddenly ask advice on this forum and get the truth delivered to you in a plain, matter-of-fact way.

There's a huge gap between "You're fat? Be body-positive!" and "Girl isn't having sex with you? Read Cosmopolitan to learn the trick to being sexy! (hint: it's nothing but consent!)" and specific, actionable advice from people who aren't going to bullshit you to make you feel better.

The advice you'll find on here can lead to some big gains in life, but it's never ever watered down to be sugar-coated, and that takes getting used to for some people.

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09-12-2015 09:34 PM
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Post: #37
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
"drop her and keep gaming"

You answered your own question. Keep gaming find new leads, go radio silent and keep her as a side girl if she comes back.
09-12-2015 11:47 PM
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Post: #38
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
I was just looking through the old threads I started when I realised I had never replied to this one . I figured I might as well give an update . That little situation ended up working itself out . We eventually broke up for other reasons about 6 months later but I already had two plates lined up by that point . That's not to say our break up didn't affect me , but the two plates softened the blow a little .

I agreed with some of the advice on this thread but not all. I didn't agree with the consensus that if "she doesn't provide sex she should automatically be put on the back burner." or " If she doesn't fuck you , she not your main ." I would agree with that if it was a plate, i've been known to cut plates off for way less than that .

However you have to understand that this girl was my main girl . And I didn't give her that title on a whim just because I thought she was hot. She had done some things for me that i'm grateful for to this day. She helped me when I didn't have a place to live , lent me a serious amount of money etc.

Even though I was cheating on her constantly , i'm still a loyal person to those that have showed me loyalty I can't just radio silence someone who helped me when nobody else could. I thought that situation needed a little more tact than just " Oh she doesn't want to fuck me ? Fine , i'm out " .

I'm not the super cold calculating super alpha that can do that to someone who has shown them that amount of care and loyalty . But i'm not a blue pill beta either . I'm somewhere in between and I think that's a healthy place to be .

Anyway , I've got a new main now and I've had 6 new bangs this year , so it's not like i'm saying this because I'm still with her , I just wanted to offer more perspective on the situation .
08-29-2016 04:27 AM
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Post: #39
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
Quote:Even though I was cheating on her constantly , i'm still a loyal person to those that have showed me loyalty...

Sorry, guy, but I'm not really sure you understand what loyalty means. If she expected you to be monogamous and you gamed other chicks then you're not loyal.

I'm not casting judgement. Do as you will. But don't try to re-cast skullduggery as nobility.
08-29-2016 08:29 AM
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RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
(08-29-2016 08:29 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Sorry, guy, but I'm not really sure you understand what loyalty means. If she expected you to be monogamous and you gamed other chicks then you're not loyal.

I'm not casting judgement. Do as you will. But don't try to re-cast skullduggery as nobility.

Sigh.. Leonard , yes I was dishonest in the relationship . I think that's a given ..

Do you think that staying monogamous is the only criteria to defining the level of loyalty two people have in a relationship ? Some will say its the biggest part , others will disagree .

The general forum consensus is that men and women are not equal . A lot of players here have been married to their partners for long periods of time and yet still cheat on their wives .

They are not "Loyal" in the strict way that you have defined it , they have side chicks and it's wrong , i'm not denying that . I was wrong to cheat on my ex. As a matter of fact I'm wrong for cheating on my current girl.

However , I'm talking about a deeper sense of loyalty . I'm talking about the fact that my ex knows that she helped me when I couldn't help myself . And for that I will always be grateful to her . She could call me in 10 years with a problem and I will help her . I'm talking about that kind of loyalty .

When I cheat on my girlfriends , I rationalise it by thinking to myself that as long as I don't prioritise my side chicks over my main girl , it's ok .

I rationalise it by thinking as long as I don't catch feeling for these side chicks , it's ok .

A lot of guys think in that way . it's wrong and it's a twisted way of viewing it . However the loyalty and the love is there . Just not in the physical sense .

I'm a young man in my early twenties with options . I'm selfish and I want the best of both worlds : A girl I have a connection with and fuck sluts on the side .

As I get older I will mature and make a decision . I hope that makes more sense .

If not, well at least I tried .
08-29-2016 08:58 AM
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Post: #41
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
You don't need to look too deep into this. You've lost your frame. You've lost your hand in the relationship. This always happens when a girl starts to think she can do better. You mentioned that at the start of the relationship you were gaming other girls. That means you had other options. Now you don't... For a girl, that's like a big red flashing light that says: "I can do better". [You don't have to cheat but you do have to re-establish your frame].
(This post was last modified: 08-29-2016 09:13 AM by Rush87.)
08-29-2016 09:12 AM
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Post: #42
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
^
^Men can hold women as a sort of ward or dependant without giving any other commitment to them but their aid and protection. This is true enough. Deception on the nature of the relationship muddies the water though.
(This post was last modified: 08-29-2016 09:17 AM by Leonard D Neubache.)
08-29-2016 09:16 AM
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Post: #43
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
Hate to be an expert in this field but I'll drop my 2 cents:

You can be "loyal" to your main woman emotionally and just fuck other females. I did this for over a year and a half.

My emotions are hardly shown, but when they are, it's with a girl I thoroughly enjoy more than just the physical.

I did indeed have 2 mini LTR's while in that relationship, however they were the young fun and fuck type, both came to a head when wanting more, they were sent on their way.

I'm not trying to be some noble person, but I'm going to look down on for what I do.

I also haven't had an LTR since, just mini LTR's and flings, apart of me changed after that relationship. I'm unsure if I'm capable of another LTR for quite some time.

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08-29-2016 10:51 AM
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Post: #44
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
Hey guys I need assistance with my main, i see her at this coffee shop every day and can't seem to work up the courage to go talk to her. What do?
08-29-2016 11:25 AM
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Post: #45
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
(08-29-2016 11:25 AM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  Hey guys I need assistance with my main, i see her at this coffee shop every day and can't seem to work up the courage to go talk to her. What do?

Go radio silent, of course.

G
08-29-2016 11:30 AM
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Post: #46
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
(08-29-2016 09:16 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  ^
^Men can hold women as a sort of ward or dependant without giving any other commitment to them but their aid and protection. This is true enough. Deception on the nature of the relationship muddies the water though.

There is no deception required. The story from TS is probably as old as time itself. Essentially you meet a girl, and you're at the top of your game. Then over time, you SMV starts to slip. It's usually just laziness or complacency.

Going out and flirting with other girls is useless. It's a bandaid. It's almost always a sign that you need to improve your SMV and fix whatever it is that has slipped... Your game, your body, your masculinity etc etc.
08-29-2016 07:20 PM
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Post: #47
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
usually friendzoning them works. If you're a value guy in her eye and she's trying to withhold sex, say something along the lines of

"oh ok, well no worries. We can be friends anyway. i didn't feel like we could become something really serious anyway..."

Works like a charm when they are withholding sex and you're not in 100% relationship territory
08-30-2016 07:08 AM
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Post: #48
Information RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
(08-29-2016 07:20 PM)Rush87 Wrote:  There is no deception required. The story from TS is probably as old as time itself. Essentially you meet a girl, and you're at the top of your game. Then over time, you SMV starts to slip. It's usually just laziness or complacency.

Going out and flirting with other girls is useless. It's a bandaid. It's almost always a sign that you need to improve your SMV and fix whatever it is that has slipped... Your game, your body, your masculinity etc etc.

Rush , you bring up an interesting point that I'd like to expand upon .

I've been daygaming for quite some time now . About two years . I'm in a dozen daygame group chats related to my city and I've winged my fair share of daygamers.

When it comes to game , I can usually place them into one of two categories :

A. Guys who use game as an ends to a means
B. Guys for whom the end and goal is game .

When I first started , I was in category B . My life was game . I was a newbie and hungry for success . I would wake up in the morning , go to the gym and then daygame all day . It took a lot of hard work to get to the level I'm at now.

If you don't believe me , you can dig out my original approach log that's still available right here on the forum to this day . It took me 400 approaches to get my first daygame bang Each one of them was written down in that thread .

After I had achieved my first bang , I got better and better . And I got to a point where I had my main girl from Sweden who was a 7.5 . I had a side chick from Manchester that was an 8 . And I had another side piece from Italy that was a 7.5 .

I had done it . I came in the game to get good at girls , and I had achieved that goal . But guess what ? I thought having a harem would make me happy... It didn't .


Through the forum I met someone who actually became a good friend and even a mentor in some ways . He helped me understand that in order to be happy , I needed freedom and freedom only came with having my own business .

So I set new goals , instead of " I need to approach 20 girls by the end of today " , i transitioned into " I'm in my early twenties , I want to make 10k a year in passive income by the time i'm 30"

This is a natural progression in game . It's a natural evolution that , in my opinion , should not be frowned upon .

I've seen it happen . Guys come in the game to get good with girls , they get good with girls and then they realise that having girls doesn't actually make them happy . Gaming stops being a priority as they then they divert that energy to other endeavours .. usually business .

Nowadays I only game an evening a week , just enough to keep my level sharp and to maintain . Really it's not even about getting sex . I've got my main and side pieces already . It's more for the confidence maintenance , keeping my social skills sharp etc etc .

I've had some guys tell me I'm getting too "comfortable" or "lazy" and that I should come out and game more but they are usually guys who haven't transitioned into category A yet .
08-30-2016 07:36 AM
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Post: #49
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
When a LTR stops or lowers sex it could be because:

1) she doesn't really like sex and now feels the need to do it less because you are on the hook
2) she is banging someone else
3) she has lost attraction to you because you went beta

In the OPs case, did she work out you were banging other chicks and freezed you out?

If you are not co-habitating then the best solution to all these is to ghost and see if she chases you
If you are living together then you are fucked.
08-30-2016 02:38 PM
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Post: #50
RE: My main is blue balling me ; how to react ?
So I've seen three girls regularly over the past year. This is how I played the "refusing sex" issue:

A couple times in a long while it happens legitimately. Girls get their period and don't want to have sex, they sometimes feel unattractive and self-conscious about themselves, and so on. If they plan on turn down sex for reasons like that, it's okay, because usually they have been good enough to inform me in advance. "Hey, I'd like to see you for a little while, but I'm exhausted from work today. It's cool if you don't want to come by, but it would be great to see you." If they text me something like that, I know that if I see them sex very well may not be on the table. And then it's on me. They gave me fair warning.

A different situation that's also happened occasionally:

Girl texts me sexy pics during the day. "Lookin forward to seeing you tonight! Wink" Later on, halfway towards sex, she pulls back hard. "I guess I'm just not into it tonight. Let's just hang out and not fool around." Hmm.

There can be reasons for this. Maybe she got banged by someone else recently (I didn't commit to exclusivity with any of these girls.) Maybe she's using sex as a weapon because she wants to get "more serious" (apparently very common.)

I give her a little bit. "Anything you want to talk about?" She shakes her head and tries to change the subject.

At that point I'm up, putting my clothes on, and moving. "I guess I'm not really into this tonight either. It's no problem, but I should probably go for now. If you want to talk, let me know." And then I leave and wait for her to contact me, and if she's calm and wants to "talk it out", I'll let her talk. It's never taken very long for them to get in touch. And I've never been refused sex the next time.

She might even chase you out the door right then, angry. That's fine, let her. But hold your ground...I think it's a frame that needs to be set early. It's bad if you're seeing her multiple times and she's refusing sex, time after time. What kind of message does that send?

There becomes an understanding that if we're getting together where the impression is given that we're getting together as lovers, then that's what's expected and needs to happen, or we'll eventually become not much of anything.

Quote:I'm contemplating pretending to not be in the mood too and stop trying to initiate sex just to get her hamster running

Sitting around fronting while continuing to see her, like a little puppy dog, won't cause her much stress. Unfortunately, in my experience it's only action that will make her sit up and take notice. If there's some issue and she needs to talk, let her talk. If she doesn't want to fuck, and doesn't want to talk, then you go. The "freeze out"/soft next is a truly devastatingly effective weapon when deployed correctly. Use it sparingly, don't be a dick, but don't be terrified of it.
(This post was last modified: 08-31-2016 03:54 PM by XPQ22.)
08-31-2016 03:27 PM
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