^^^^you sound twelve

(06-28-2015 01:53 PM)redbeard Wrote:  I spent the weekend in Austin but did not get enough data to warrant a whole post...I only went out one night. Instead this is a RVF redbeardPUA players log EXCLUSIVE WRITEUP!!!!

1. There are pretty girls in Austin. I would say that girls are friendly here.

2. It seems that in order to gain residency here you have to have a tattoo. Even the non-hipster girls are tatted up.

3. There are a lot of options when it comes to bars and there's something for everyone. It should be very easy to make dates (oh I go to xxx bar to get this weird drink!). That being said "mixology" is booming here which is as gay as it gets. If you see a bartender with a handlebar moustache prepare for the worst. Austin is smart (unlike Houston) in that they cluster bars in areas so that they all benefit. No matter what your scene it should be easy to find a fit...so for me, looking for older college girls, west sixth is where it's at.

4. I really think I could kill it here. People say if you live here you're either a hipster or a fitness junkie. I would definitely fall in the second party but would be able to leverage my non-tattooed clean cut look well here with college girls and fit girls.

5. Robreke is a solid dude and although we are far away in age, ran well together. He doesn't look his age and can definitely punch in a younger weight class.

6. There were bachelorette parties everywhere. I've tried to pull girls from bachelorette parties before and have had little success but this was another level. These were big groups. Looking back it would have been a great way to number crunch and meet later but I am still very bearish on bachelorette parties.

7. Area I definitely need to improve on: getting numbers. Just because an interaction wasn't golden early on doesn't mean I can't get the number and try later when she's drunk. I only had one night so I wasn't trying to play the numbers game but it might have been useful to do so. This is due to my "short term memory loss" mindset.


Overall Austin is fun and I'm surprised there aren't more members/posts about the city. I plan on returning and could see myself living there in a few years.

^ Yeah Redbeard, it was fun running the streets of Austin with you!

by the way...he's right about Austin being a great town with a lot of potential. It's in TX so there's a lot of attractive southern women, but at the same time, it's a more liberal city so a lot of the girls can be more 'open minded' early on.

They're friendly too for the most part.

(06-28-2015 11:59 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  ^Any girl that is leaving and meets a guy off Tinder wants to fuck. If you don't get that bang if she meets you it would be quite bad on your part as well as completely your fault.

You're right. Its just playing don't fuck up game from that point on. If its on still on when Wednesday comes around, I can't see there being too many issues.

It's been awhile since I posted any updates.

-Let 2 in the harem go, they both thought I was their BF.
-Nexted 1 2nd date, she was just lazy about hanging out.
-Nexted 1 that was bitching about passing a certain city
-Nexted one that tried friendzoning me
-Deleted 2 numbers of girls that I sent "am I wasting my time texting you" and got bitchy answers.
-No response from 2 "am I wasting my texts" - numbers deleted

Upsides:
-Getting out of town for my birthday weekend soon with good friends and my main.
-Got one girl still clinging for a meetup.
-A second date girl fucked up again, and owes me. Sexual energy is there, downside is she's 29.
-2 numbers, 1 being almost a spitting image of my main, another more mellow girl that seems genuinely sweet and feminine.

Overall:
My gym workout is diving because of a possible torn rotator cuff - upside is I upped cardio. It's a bitch getting an appointment since I don't want to burn PTO since my provider is in another fucking city. It needs to be done though.

Sex is a bit more intense with the main since I'm only banging her really right now. This is the longest dry streak I've had, I think it's been a month now with no new bang.

I'm getting tired of online dating, but it's fucking hard when you can't do much day game and night game is boring around here. Upside is I get more creative, I met an old homegirl with a friend over a drink, and somehow in a drunken stupor pulled her sisters number and were texting late night, my friend doesn't care. I doubt I'll roll this into a bang since she was drunk texting me.

POF seems to be on fire lately, OKC seems plenty dead, and Tinder is mediocre at best. Coffee Meets Bagel is whatever.

Anyways here's to the 4th and a party weekend !

Kaotic -

Hw does this "am I wasting my texts" message go?

It seems from above that it's 0 for 2 and that you knew the answer before the text was even sent. Then again these are online girls...so maybe this message gets them reinvested?

I would skip that text all together, and then try for a meetup a few days later. Actions over words.

Typically I might say it a serious or semi joking way. 75% of the time I'll get a do or die reaction as in they explain what's up and I shoot for a meetup asap or they give some lame ass excuse and it was DOA anyways.

I'd say it does get them reinvested - just depends on how our conversation goes beforehand.

I'm getting shorter and shorter patience and slowly next these girls faster. Some girls just want the attention and I sure as hell won't be giving them that.

Trying to restart text with a follow up text about hanging might be fruitful but it does end up in radio silence also.

This is why I wish I had some free time during weekends but it's not. Maybe I just need to take a break, have some me time, I'll have some more money freeing up soon also.

First RVF post, feels good to finally post on here. Quick backstory, I wouldn't say I'm new to game cause I've always sorta been able to pull. Have I had some beta years? absolutely lol. Anyway I'm from Nigeria and I've noticed there are very few if any African players on here. That's probably because game is quite different on the dark continent.


So, I've fucked my fair share of African bitches across the continent and now I've moved to France to study and yeah my skills have been seriously tested. I've been here 6 months and I still haven't been able to fuck a white chick. Well my logistics were crap for the first coupla months but that didn't stop me from day gaming like my life depended on it. 2 blow jobs from a blonde and a brunette (I'd say 6s), 1 makeout with a korean chick who was a bit hunky and 1 Comoros as well as 1 french Guiana flag are all I have to show for my efforts. I know I'll still find my mojo but it's frustrating. My problem might be that I only want to fuck 6.5s and above. I just feel if I lower my standards it might ruin my gaming abilities.


So there's this chick I met on the tram about 3 months ago, she's cute and quite attractive. We talked and when I tried to number close she said she'll take my number instead so naturally I didn't expect to hear from her again until about 2 weeks ago when she messaged me out of the blue. She actually said it would be nice to meet up after all this time for drinks and I said okay. I only get 2 weekdays off from work so we agreed to meet up on a Tuesday. She shows up on time and she's rocking tight jeans and a black top with plenty cleavage showing. I move her to my go to bar and when we're close she says she can't go there cause her ex-boyfriend's friend lives across from the bar.



Well, all I could think about were those titties so I said okay and bounced her to another bar at the city center. We ordered and shot the shit for a while. She loves the English language but doesn't speak any. She loves rap music, I'm talking tupac etc even though she has no idea what they are saying. A few drinks later I suggest we go back to my place after she said she was having so much fun and wished the night didn't have to end. My place is 15 minutes away from the city center by tram so there's no pulling a girl who doesn't wanna be pulled lol. When we get my place we hangout for a bit then I kiss closed. She was into it but there was LMR . She was going on and on about not being the type of girl who just sleeps with anybody. I just nodded each time. I played with her titties and even managed to take em out.


I tried for over 2 hours to bang this chick but she wouldn't let me. She's obviously a slut but I think she just didn't want to fuck me on the first date. Every time I put my hands in her pants she would stop me and say no strongly. I just gave up after a while. Here's a chick who told me she loved anal but her ass is tight so it has to be gentle, she's been in a threesome, she owns several sex toys, I mean fuck I wanted to go crazy. She wanted me to ask her all kinds of sexually related questions but I didn't indulge her. I know talk is cheap and having more info would definitely make it hurt more if after that night I never saw her again. Well she left around 3 am cause luckily she lives only 10 mins away by foot. She sent me a message the following day and told me she didn't fuck me because she was ovulating.. I'm like this bitch must be nuts, I had enough condoms to open a pharmacy with in my room and the fact that she thought I would rawdog her was funny to me. She asked to meet up in a few days and I said okay. She told me her friend lived a few buildings away from mine and she was gonna visit till around 1 am so she was gonna come over after.


I was soo much looking forward to fucking her senseless, I sent her a confirmatory msg at 11 pm and she didn't reply. I could tell she was gonna flake so I just went to bed. The following day I sent her a simple what happened to you message and she still didn't reply so I just nexted her. I deleted her number and cut my losses. That was 4 days ago. Today she texts me saying she's sorry she didn't reach out to me, she only gave a vague excuse by saying she had some problems. Honestly I'd still like to fuck her but I'm not sure if she's messing with me. I think I should wait a few days to reply or do you guys think I shouldn't waste time and reschedule our rendezvous, bang her and be done with it? On another note, number closed the hottest waitress at work tonight. She's been throwing serious IoIs of late. She was always touching my long hair before I cut it and now she won't stop calling me "Will I Am'' lols. We'll see how it goes.

Deckmaster you'd be surprised - check out this bad ass thread by Moma & Rudeboy absolute legendary black players.

http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-44508.html

The podcasts are a must hear !

As for the girl, she's reaching out to you, strike the iron while it's hot.

Welcome to RVF !

I kinda got cock blocked by family obligations today. Hot blonde that flaked Thursday invited me over to her hotel, but I couldn't make it. I suggested tomorrow but she hasn't said anything yet. I think she dug that I've participated in some cool stuff in the past and share her love for pools and hot tubs, haha. Thing is we were set to meet Wednesday, but today could of been a lay up. I really don't get to many opportunities like that.

There are a lot of things pointing to a possible lay but this is just another elusive one that I haven't been able to make work just yet. After speaking to her over the phone, she seems pretty chill and stoner chick-ish.

@Deckmaster looking forward to your reports.

My day thus far:
6pm: woke up
6-630: meditate, light reading
630-7: coffee, some stretching
7-7:01: shower
7:01-730: sexy dancing in front of the mirror
730-750: text my boys read funny shit on the web.

Looks like I'm rolling solo again tonight. Is it hard for anyone to stay in a kick ass mood when they know their going out solo?

(06-29-2015 08:00 PM)Rage_on Wrote:  7:01-730: sexy dancing in front of the mirror

Patrick Bateman?

(06-29-2015 08:00 PM)Rage_on Wrote:  Looks like I'm rolling solo again tonight. Is it hard for anyone to stay in a kick ass mood when they know their going out solo?

I grow to like it more each time I do it. It is so rare to find a wing for me that adds instead of takes away my chances overall.

I think to love rolling solo you really need to love the hunt more than the overall nightlife. I don't enjoy nightlife very much, I love hunting though. Most guys, even ones after pussy I'd say are 80% into the social aspect, venue, music etc and 20% into the hunt. I am more naturally 90% into the hunt aspect.

Damn Kaotic that's a truly badass thread. Just listened to the first podcast. Shiiit. lol I'll send the girl a msg today. We'll see how it goes. Being slick in another language is hard work but thankfully I speak fluent french now. Plus I really need a wingman who's game tested. All the dudes I know here are either in LTRs or are complete pussies. I almost never get approach anxiety but still opening sets solo can be tiresome.

(06-29-2015 04:51 PM)kaotic Wrote:  I'm getting shorter and shorter patience and slowly next these girls faster. Some girls just want the attention and I sure as hell won't be giving them that.

Quote:Trying to restart text with a follow up text about hanging might be fruitful but it does end up in radio silence also.

I get your process now. This is why I like the lounge/log...we get a bigger picture of members' game. I've seen your texts and "get" the angle you take.

Usually if I feel a girl slipping I'll go cold for a few days and then do a thread like this:

rb: hey u
hb: hey what's up
rb: killin it how u been
hb: oh just doing bs xxx yada yada
rb: neat lets catch up sometime at xxx bar

Direct, to the point, shows my cards on the table. Zero fucks given. Her response will speak volumes about how she feels about me.

(06-29-2015 06:47 PM)Deckmaster Wrote:  First RVF post, feels good to finally post on here.

First post is a field report and he used a gif.

Quote: Well, all I could think about were those titties so I said okay and bounced her to another bar at the city center. We ordered and shot the shit for a while. She loves the English language but doesn't speak any. She loves rap music, I'm talking tupac etc even though she has no idea what they are saying. A few drinks later I suggest we go back to my place after she said she was having so much fun and wished the night didn't have to end. My place is 15 minutes away from the city center by tram so there's no pulling a girl who doesn't wanna be pulled lol. When we get my place we hangout for a bit then I kiss closed. She was into it but there was LMR . She was going on and on about not being the type of girl who just sleeps with anybody. I just nodded each time. I played with her titties and even managed to take em out.

I tried for over 2 hours to bang this chick but she wouldn't let me. She's obviously a slut but I think she just didn't want to fuck me on the first date. Every time I put my hands in her pants she would stop me and say no strongly. I just gave up after a while. Here's a chick who told me she loved anal but her ass is tight so it has to be gentle, she's been in a threesome, she owns several sex toys, I mean fuck I wanted to go crazy. She wanted me to ask her all kinds of sexually related questions but I didn't indulge her. I know talk is cheap and having more info would definitely make it hurt more if after that night I never saw her again. Well she left around 3 am cause luckily she lives only 10 mins away by foot. She sent me a message the following day and told me she didn't fuck me because she was ovulating.. I'm like this bitch must be nuts, I had enough condoms to open a pharmacy with in my room and the fact that she thought I would rawdog her was funny to me. She asked to meet up in a few days and I said okay. She told me her friend lived a few buildings away from mine and she was gonna visit till around 1 am so she was gonna come over after.

...

TWO HOURS? I posted about this earlier but I do not put up with that. I think this a great example. Whenever I waste that much time on a girl, I leave feeling defeated. Not only did I not get the bang, but I wasted two hours of my life on her. If I was a girl, I would be thinking "wow this guy must not get laid much if he spent that much time on me! A true player would kick me out and call over his side bitch."

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe converting to the bang is that important for retention. But you will not see me wasting two hours on banging a girl.

(06-29-2015 04:51 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Typically I might say it a serious or semi joking way. 75% of the time I'll get a do or die reaction as in they explain what's up and I shoot for a meetup asap or they give some lame ass excuse and it was DOA anyways.

I'd say it does get them reinvested - just depends on how our conversation goes beforehand.

I'm getting shorter and shorter patience and slowly next these girls faster. Some girls just want the attention and I sure as hell won't be giving them that.

Trying to restart text with a follow up text about hanging might be fruitful but it does end up in radio silence also.

This is why I wish I had some free time during weekends but it's not. Maybe I just need to take a break, have some me time, I'll have some more money freeing up soon also.

Yeah, with convos that have died down I just ask if they want to grab drinks this week. 33% no answer/bitchy, 33% say yes [even if they later flake], 33% reply back but want me to convince them.

I also have less and less patience and have gotten 10x better at figuring out the attention whores. Ghosting first on some of these bitches has resulted in a couple begging to meet in person. Spin hamster, spin. [How can he ghost on *me*? He must be super high value! I'll invite him out, that'll show him!] Hahahah. Banged a cute 24-yr old blonde this way.

@travesty
I don't know how to quote specific things that guys post.
I'm always happy that I went out solo, but I always face serious inner resistance when it comes down to it. It feels like I spend half my time just battling negative thoughts and feelings about it. It's getting a lot better though. Thanks for your input.

Cheers, my friends.

(06-30-2015 08:31 AM)LouEvilSlugger Wrote:  Cheers, my friends.

Please tell me you responded to that person !

Was it a girl or guy ?

What did you say back ?

So, I'm in a bit of a conundrum. I'm still relatively new here in France so I don't have a social circle set up yet. I'm taking 2 years off regular uni studies to enroll into a work study program for Chefs. Not only am I gonna make some money while I'm at it, I figure knowing how to cook properly will be a game plus and having a diploma in cuisine might just pay off in the future. Anyway, the training center is gonna be swarming with young pussy. I'm talking average of 18 to 21 year olds. I turn 24 in a few months and I have it on good authority that I'll most likely be the oldest cat there.

The thing is I currently live in a shared apt with some old dudes who only smoke all day about 15 minutes by tram from the center of the city. That cock blocks from time to time as chicks here would prefer to fuck a guy who lives within walking distance of the center. I wanna move and I can't decide what to to. I'm tempted to look for a shared flat close to the city center with people my age or slightly older, that way I can start building a tight social circle and who knows maybe even get a decent wingman or two. The other option would be to rent a 2 bedroom apt (because staying in a studio here just sucks IMO) also close to the city center cause I can afford to right now. That won't help me build my social circle but it would mean pulling classy babes would be easier. I'm also afraid I might feel awkward bringing plates as young as 18 home to bang if I have roommates who are in my age range or older.

If I get my own place I'm gonna get a pool table, that'll be my bait for pulling chicks to my place. I would definitely not be worried if I was at the uni cause there won't be just kids there so social circle building is not gonna be a problem. I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking it but here in France your circle is everything. It'll determine how well you'll be plugged in in your city. From a game standpoint what would you players advise? Live in a shared flat for a while till I feel comfortable with my circle and then get my own place or just get it over with and look for other ways.

(06-28-2015 03:57 AM)holdoncallfield Wrote:  had an OKC date tonight, here's the breakdown. I'm still a relative newbie but I'm proud of this one for where I am in the process right now.

text game leading up to the date: since it was booked 4 days in advance (tuesday mid-day for Saturday evening), i was waffling between sending a confirmation text either the day before (Friday) or the day of (Saturday). I ended up just saying fuck it and sent off the text on Friday confirming with her the location, which I had been withholding up to that point. she confirms, i confirm the time, all good. I make sure to not text anything during the day of and lo and behold, she indirectly confirms our meet up by pushing the date back 15 minutes. no problem, she saved me the trouble.

I get there right around 7:15 and she is already there and has secured a table, which was probably not the BEST that could have happened but I couldn’t have done anything else about it besides having shown up earlier. granted, the first venue is one I’ve been to once and liked but hadn’t really scoped out that well myself so i was pretty much going in as blind as she was (she had never been there before), so we get stuck at a table sitting interview style. She doesn’t stand up as I greet her, so I give her a quick hug while she is sitting down (in my head I’m thinking not the greatest sign). she calls me out/shit tests me about lying about my height (i'm 5'7", profile says 5'8"), which I deflected by citing the "every guy on the internet lies about 2 inches", she doesn't make a big deal about it and tells a story about a 5'6" dude she met claiming he was 5'10", so I think I was fine. we talk about OKC, jobs and school inevitably get brought up but I try to steer the direction of the conversation away from that. South Park comes up and I get noticeably excited (i have a big thing for south park). we talk about musicals, the book of mormon, etc. she seems cool. at the same time, she also tries to limit the date by saying she can only have one drink because of a half-marathon she’s running tomorrow. I don’t really say anything about it when she brought it up, just continue as usual. when we’re done with our drinks around the 45-1hr mark, I bring up another drink, suggesting a venue change to a bar down the street where I know the bartender. she hesitates, but then talks about jenga after I ask her if she’s been there before (the bar is known for having board/card games to play). thankfully I caught onto this (admittedly, unconsciously, will need to work keeping this in the forefront of my awareness) and gave her the plausible deniability that we were just going to go there to play jenga. so off we go down the street. I didn’t feel like I had built enough comfort to extend a hand/elbow, although I did notice she kept her purse on the arm opposite me i.e. she probably wasn’t closed off to the idea of a hand or elbow to hook (will need to work on working up the necessary balls to do this confidently).

we get to the second venue, which is much lounge-ier, darker, etc. my bartender friend pulls through for me and impresses her, and she makes a comment about how it was a really good idea for us to move to this venue. good signs. we sit at the bar. I do notice that throughout the majority of the date (i’d say 75% of the time) her legs are facing toward the bar and not toward me. the remaining 25% is at a 45 degree angle towards me, which is where my legs were in relation to her 75% of the time there. lukewarm signs, we did touch legs every once in a while but probably not nearly enough. Up to this point I had really avoided kino, but at the bar it was much easier to start and soon enough I’m kino-ing her while we’re talking, back of the hand against her forearm, fingertips on her shoulder, fingers and some of the palm on her upper-mid back (think lats). BIG thing to work on here: escalating kino to the erogenous zones (lower back, legs, head/hair, etc), I stuck with the comfort ones too much. the kino was reciprocated, i'd say 60/40 me to her, so not bad but could have been better. Another thing I know I should probably work on: smiling less. I was genuinely having a good time talking to her, but I feel like my face was in a permanent grin and I smiled really easily. conversation wise, there were some gaps/silences. we were both relatively quick to ask questions of each other to fill in the space, i’d say around a 50/50 ratio. Played a modified question game, keeping it to mostly rapport/comfort building questions. I tried to bring up my childhood a lot thinking it would invoke emotion, but I think I probably should have worded it in a way where she could have linked it to her own childhood? e.g. instead of saying “I remember when I was a kid..” something along the lines of “remember when you were a kid and…” In terms of answering the questions myself I think I played it relatively well; acted like I had to think about it and gave it enough pause to make it seem like I was, but I definitely had pre-canned answers of stories I’ve told dozens of times that I have down. Got good responses, some decent laughs, etc.

Finally around 10:45 she pulls the plug and says she needs to go in the next 10-15. I don’t really have any reason to doubt her at this point, she’s been straight up and she stuck it out with me for 3+ hours, so I know she was having a decent enough time, no phone checking, etc. As we walk out of the place (I paid at the 2nd venue, she snagged the first) i’m thinking kiss close is the most I’m gonna get, but we stand right at the corner where she says she’s gonna hop on the train. I offer to give her a ride home as we were actually heading in the same direction, but she refuses. She then says out loud that she had a good time, which I guess is a good sign? I freeze up at this point and don’t verbally respond to that, which was not the best reaction as it removed any plausible deniability of my intentions. will need to work on being more casual about rejection.

the corner has shitloads of people sitting at tables and milling about, so I naturally puss out and go for the polite cheek kiss. I make sure to have my hands at her lower back/top of her ass. Should have probably let the hug linger a bit. Looking back, although it may have been a bit beta, if I could redo the entire goodbye interaction I would have offered her the ride, then offered to walk her to the train for a better chance to isolate.

I text her after I get back to my car that I had a good time as well, I felt like a dick for having ignored her saying she had a good time. She responded with a much longer response and brought up a place we had mentioned previously and how she was thrilled about our mutual love of the place. Haven't responded but I’m not really sure where this ended/where it can go from here. My gut tells me the likelihood is not that good for a 2nd date but that it probably won't hurt to suggest another meetup in 3-4 days.

thoughts/feedback/analysis would be much appreciated!

I'm going to break this down for you not only because it will help you, but also because your date illustrates a lot of common issues that newbies have.

Confirmation- A confirmation the day before a date is no confirmation at all. Girls are so distracted, have so many options, and are so flaky that 24 hours is far too soon to confirm. If several days intervene between agreeing to a date and the date itself, I usually will text once or twice each day just to keep me in their mind and show I'm still interested. If a girl doesn't hear from you for a couple of days she will start to think you're going to flake on her and make other plans. I confirm 2-3 hours before the meeting time with a nonconfirmation confirmation, such as asking if she knows where the place is or some other date related subject. Don't ask if she's going to make it; that shows insecurity. Then I reconfirm maybe 45 minutes to an hour before by saying I will be 15 minutes late. This is what she did to you to confirm because you had not.

Showing up late/on time- Some players recommend showing up late to make an entrance and show you're not taking the date seriously and are a busy man. I disagree with this, one reason being what happened to you. It doesn't give you the freedom to check out the venue and select the best place to be. That said, you didn't have to agree to her selection of a table, you could have moved her to the bar if there were free places. I also like to show up early so I can chat up the bartender and other patrons. If you are talking to other people when she walks in, that's a sort of fake social proof. Best of all is if you are talking to an attractive woman when she first sees you.

Venue selection- It was a mistake to meet in a place you didn't know well. Your standard meeting place for online dates is one or two places you have locked down and that have comfortable seating where you can sit side by side. Notice how she reacted positively to the second venue for those reasons. You should have met at the second venue. Never go on a first date without a specific plan of where you are going first, second and third.

The hug greeting- bending over to hug her when she didn't even bother to stand up was not good. That's supplicating. Some players recommend hug greeting in general and I'm not opposed to them because it does initiate kino, but it's not my style. I prefer to greet a girl with a tone of cool evaluation of her so she is left wondering if I even find her attractive or not. But that fits with my persona; someone who is very extroverted may be better hugging.You should have just plopped down in your chair, leaned back and said, "So what's up?" with a smirk.

Height- What kind of shoes were you wearing? At 5'7", you should wear boots with higher heels on first dates, nothing else. Height is going to be an issue for you with girls, but we all have our nonoptimal characteristics; the key is to improve it as much as possible while compensating with other strong traits. I would consider getting some quality heel lifts to raise your height by an inch. But you handled it well by blowing off her comments and not letting her rattle you.

Conversational topics- Not approving of your choice of these. I would avoid talking about musicals at all-this gives off a gay or theater geek vibe to girls regardless of what they say. Mentioning one episode of South Park is ok, but going on about it-no. In general, guys should avoid any topics which give off a vibe of nerd, geek, or fanboyism- sci-fi, fantasy, tv shows, techie stuff, comics, superheros. Girls lives center around their feelings, their senses and human realtionships. Talk about food, drink, travel, adventures, gossip about people you know or celebrities (a little) and they will be interested. Also talking a lot about your and her childhood is not the best. A little story from you childhood is fine to establish a bit of vulnerability but only after your alpha cred is shown and attraction is firmly established.

Newbies always seem concerned with "comfort." I think the reason is that they are still pedestalizing women and are afraid they are going to scare the girl and are overly concerned with what she is feeling. Here's a secret for you- a girl being nervous and even a bit scared and intimidated by you is a good thing That is, assuming you want to fuck her and not be her beta orbiter she calls to cry about the asshole who is fucking her. Comfort is way overrated. As Heartiste says- "vagina tingles are born in a defensive crouch." I just talk about whatever I want and switch conversational topics frequently. Your move to steer away from talk of jobs and school was very good though, interview style conversation is boring and is a proven pussy dehydrator.

Venue change- this was a very good move, especially you ignoring her probably false time constraint. Changing venues will greatly improve your chance of fucking a girl.

No kino during venue change- here's that newbie obsession with "comfort " again. How much comfort does a girl need for you to hold out your elbow to hook her arm through or for you to hold her hand? Trust me, it's very possible to have a girl grinding on you or be making out with her within a short period of time and be fucking her not long after that. Girls are these innocent pure creatures you imagine them to be, they are full of dirty thoughts and just waiting for a man to help them act them out. Get more aggressive if you want to be rewarded.

Kino at bar- the best thing you did. Always touch girls a lot of dates, it's a huge factor in getting her to like you and getting laid.

Her leg angle- legs toward the bar 75% of the time isn't good at all. If a girl isn't turning her legs at at least a 60% angle toward me within 30 minutes after we meet, my expectations of getting laid by her ever are maybe 10%. What's between a girl's legs? If she's shielding her pussy from you, she's telling you that she doesn't consider you worthy of her pussy. If a girl turns her legs fully toward you, however, chances are high you will get the pussy that night.

Offer of a ride home- You deserve credit for a Hail Mary here, which is always worth taking, but time had run out on the game at that point.

The Cheek Kiss close- This was the worst thing you did; never do it again. What do you mean there were people around so you "naturally" didn't kiss her ? So what? I kiss girls I barely know in crowded bars and restaurants all the time. Girls are turned on by men who are socially transgressive and break the rules to just take what they want.

Texting immediately- don't do this, it's too eager. Make her wait and wonder if you approve of her or not. Text the next day or not at all. If I don't bang a girl but it still went well and I want to see her again I usually wait 2-3 days to text and don't reference the date at all. Why did you feel like a dick for not immediately reciprocating when she said she had a good time.? I just say "I'm glad"- let her wonder if you did.

Verdict-Typical beta style date. If you don't have a lot of experience with women, that's ok, it's some progress. It seems that you have some idea of what to do from reading game materials, which is good, but your Inner Game is weak, which is stopping you from executing. Your opinion of women and their nature is false and you are pedestalizing them and being intimidated by them. Don't take them so seriously. Work on being more confident and cocky/funny. Just have fun on dates and amuse yourself; don't worry about pleasing the girl, she is there to please you.

XY's got this dialed, said everything I wanted to say.

These are text book mistakes that all rookies have made when it came to dating.

Heed this as a lesson in what not to do and what to improve.

This can happen occasionally with veteran players/daters, always helps to have a refresher and fill any seals leaking in your game.

Great first date primer XY. I like to think I have these fundamentals down but I see some sloppiness in my own game here. Wish I could rep you again.

snipping the two novels. your breakdown is exactly what I'm looking for, thank you.

your assessment is 100% fair. I'm still relatively new to this, I've given some background of myself in my approach thread. Definitely trying to rewire 20 odd years of beta tendencies. deep down, both during the date and after, I knew I had blown it, i could feel it. in the past, I would have a) lied to myself about it and b) dwelled on it too much in a negative feedback loop. the fact that I'm not doing that and that at this point am just looking for ways to improve is what's really important to me. You're right, my inner game is definitely weak but i'm trying to improve it as quickly as I can.

RE: the planning, I had planned for the first venue to change to the second venue; i knew they were right down the street from each other. my bartender friend didn't start work until later in the evening (obvious solution: don't set the date until he starts) but he's the type to not let me know anything until the last minute so I felt like my hands were tied. also, I'm asian and I haven't really been drinking up until this point besides basic experimentation in high school, so i'm in general new to bars and how they work. I have to take pepcid to mask glow symptoms so i'm still experimenting with that. I'm combining a lot of unknown variables into my game/dates atm which I know is not ideal but i'm working with what I can; i have just a month left in this city before I move. also, my logistics are terrible; i'm temporarily living with an aunt and uncle in their new house in a suburb far away from the bars.

yeah, not much I can do about my height. I was wearing brown suede oxfords with a small heel insert in them. I'll look into getting boots, I'll need them anyway for the winters coming up (moving to a city that goes -30 to -40C)

some of the conversation was definitely forced. I agree, retrospectively, that it at least 30% of the conversation I initiated was bunk in that it ended up being me talking about myself because they were questions I had pre-planned answers to. Can you give more general advice about how to have the types of conversations you suggest flow easier? do you bring up current events? we did talk about travel, food, a bit about dating, and friends. come to think of it, she did ask me about my friends and I deflected the line of questioning because I didn't want to tell her that most of my friends are still degenerates, but I could have spun a lot of the crazy nights with them into good stories.
I have done a ton of drugs in my life up to this point too and I'm never too sure about how to reveal this.

so my overall takeaway from this, after my own retrospection and taking your breakdown into account, is that:
-I need to be more assertive and aggressive, especially physically.
-I need to take girls off the pedestal and think about myself/what I want first.
-I need to work on conversation topics and to learn how to fill the time with her talking about herself rather than me blabbing on about me.
-I need to work my logistics. I am proactively pursuing this for my move but right now my hands are currently tied by circumstance.
-better to fail trying than repeat past patterns if I want to learn and grow.

(06-30-2015 02:37 PM)holdoncallfield Wrote:  snipping the two novels. your breakdown is exactly what I'm looking for, thank you.

your assessment is 100% fair. I'm still relatively new to this, I've given some background of myself in my approach thread. Definitely trying to rewire 20 odd years of beta tendencies. deep down, both during the date and after, I knew I had blown it, i could feel it. in the past, I would have a) lied to myself about it and b) dwelled on it too much in a negative feedback loop. the fact that I'm not doing that and that at this point am just looking for ways to improve is what's really important to me. You're right, my inner game is definitely weak but i'm trying to improve it as quickly as I can.

RE: the planning, I had planned for the first venue to change to the second venue; i knew they were right down the street from each other. my bartender friend didn't start work until later in the evening (obvious solution: don't set the date until he starts) but he's the type to not let me know anything until the last minute so I felt like my hands were tied. also, I'm asian and I haven't really been drinking up until this point besides basic experimentation in high school, so i'm in general new to bars and how they work. I have to take pepcid to mask glow symptoms so i'm still experimenting with that. I'm combining a lot of unknown variables into my game/dates atm which I know is not ideal but i'm working with what I can; i have just a month left in this city before I move. also, my logistics are terrible; i'm temporarily living with an aunt and uncle in their new house in a suburb far away from the bars.

yeah, not much I can do about my height. I was wearing brown suede oxfords with a small heel insert in them. I'll look into getting boots, I'll need them anyway for the winters coming up (moving to a city that goes -30 to -40C)

some of the conversation was definitely forced. I agree, retrospectively, that it at least 30% of the conversation I initiated was bunk in that it ended up being me talking about myself because they were questions I had pre-planned answers to. Can you give more general advice about how to have the types of conversations you suggest flow easier? do you bring up current events? we did talk about travel, food, a bit about dating, and friends. come to think of it, she did ask me about my friends and I deflected the line of questioning because I didn't want to tell her that most of my friends are still degenerates, but I could have spun a lot of the crazy nights with them into good stories.
I have done a ton of drugs in my life up to this point too and I'm never too sure about how to reveal this.

so my overall takeaway from this, after my own retrospection and taking your breakdown into account, is that:
-I need to be more assertive and aggressive, especially physically.
-I need to take girls off the pedestal and think about myself/what I want first.
-I need to work on conversation topics and to learn how to fill the time with her talking about herself rather than me blabbing on about me.
-I need to work my logistics. I am proactively pursuing this for my move but right now my hands are currently tied by circumstance.
-better to fail trying than repeat past patterns if I want to learn and grow.

I absolutely applaud the fact that you want to get better and are not making any excuses about yourself. Here's some first date tips that have worked well for me that you can put into practice right now.

1. Make the conversation about her. Ideally she should be doing 70-80% of the talking while you do remaining. You don't want to turn into interview man but you should be the one leading the conversation by asking her open ended questions or even better, cold read type of statements. Ex "You look like you work out, let me guess you're one of those girls who's obsessed with spin..." Then based on whatever she says take it and run with it. There's no limit to how far down the rabbit hole you can go. Also she's going to be throwing out other bait while she's talking that you can latch onto.

Her: "Yeah, I was traveling to California and a friend of mine turned me onto spin..."
You: "Nice, what part of California? I've always loved the bay area.."
Her: "LA, I actually went to school there..."
You: "You weren't a Trojan were you? "

You get the idea. The point is to get her rambling and talking and opening up about herself to you. If she asks you a question, don't be evasive but succinctly answer it and immediately turn things back to her.

2. Body language. Regardless of whether you're sitting side by side or across the table from each other (avoid this at all costs) you should be confidently leaning back in your chair almost bordering on being sloppy (think back to Han Solo talking to Greedo in the saloon right before he shoots him). This was a tough one for me. I used to have a tendency to lean forward and constantly move towards my date. I found through trial and error that adopting this body language will supercharge your dating results. I even had a first date tell me once we were back at my place "This is kind of intimidating" while waving her hands up and down in front of me. My posture was lounging back on the couch and my arm was draped over the back (think Don Draper from the Madmen). I knew at that point I was onto it!

3. Touch. Right from the start you want to be touching her very casually. Every time you seem to have a new thought tap her on the arm "Oh, that reminds me (tap)..." As the night goes on you can lightly touch her back while talking and "accidentally" brush knees.

4. Venue change. Already well explained by others here.

5. Plant bait for reason to go back to your place or hers. I know you said your logistics are bad so you're either going to have to work on going back to her place or have a place with a nice view that's secluded where you can take her and maybe have car sex?

The important thing is don't get down on yourself! This is all a learning experience and you have a great attitude which is over half the battle.

Sound the alarm. Knowledge is being dropped!