Post: #1

Hi guys... I'm 19 years old and have discovered game, luckily, early on.

I've been playing indoor soccer for a couple weeks, there's a girl on my team who is friends of a mutual friend also on the team. 7.5

We get on quite well and we often car pool after games.

About a week ago I sent her a fb message saying that me and a couple of the guys from indoor were going for drinks that weekend and that she should come along.. She replied with something like "yeah sounds good thanks for the invite"

Anyway, we met on Sunday and i think the night went well.. not much kino but apart from that i was happy.. i decided to ask for her number and tell her "we should do this again sometime, except this time without everyone else".. Got her number.

Texted her the next day (Monday), here's the exact flow of texts between the two of us..

Me: "Hey what are your plans for this week? Im thinking we could hit up _____ one night?"

Her: "Yeah sounds good. I'm working friday but that's about it"

Me: "How about wednesday at 8?"

Her: "Yep ok"

Fast foward 24 hrs later.

Her: "Hey im really sorry but i wont be able to make it tomorrow night. My sister got accepted into college and we're having a family dinner to celebrate"

no idea if this is BS but im assuming it is, because she did not offer an alternate time.

I didnt reply...

Then today (the day of our date).

Her: "Just making sure you got my message yesterday?"

I replied 3 hrs later with "Yeah, don't worry about it. Maybe another time"


What should be my next step? Forget about it and move on?
What if it was actually a legit excuse (unlikely imo), ask her out again when i see her at indoor?

I know there are a lot of threads for text flakes but i feel this situation is a little unique as i will be seeing this girl again once a week for the next couple months.

Post: #2

Update on this for anyone interested..

I saw her again at Soccer, didnt even mention her flaking.. End of the night i asked her what she was up to on the weekend, she said "i think im working but not sure because i havent checked the timetable yet"

I send her a text the next day asking her if she wants to go for drinks sunday night. she responds saying that she's working.

I dont reply and have closed the book on this one.. on to the next one!

lesson learned from this story: If a girl flakes once, delete number and move on.

Post: #3

(10-11-2011 07:45 AM)big poppa Wrote:  lesson learned from this story: If a girl flakes once, delete number and move on.

Not always. Infact, her flaking seemed legit since she followed it up with another text the next day coz if all she wanted was to get rid of you, she wouldn't have done that. Instead of asking her out for one specific day maybe you could offer 2-3 or say something like "one of these nights?" instead of "thursday night" or "sunday night".

The real lesson to learn here should be: to not place all your eggs in one basket. Pick up more and more women, so even if one flakes you have other fall back options. As a player, you gotta be cold blooded and not let flaking affect you and the only way to do that is by having multiple options. Don't close the book on her yet, but don't invest much time in her either. Rather just move her down on the priority list but since you have only one item on there so you can't move her around, that's why you need a stronger inventory.

Post: #4

You learned the hard way. Though it's good that you came to the proper conclusion by yourself in the end. To many people try to get back on that horse for dozens of times. So just consider yourself lucky that you've saved a good deal of money, energy and time.

Post: #5

As Roosh described somewhere, this was a case "buyers-remorse". Lke impulse-shopping. Giving you the number at the time seemed ok, but the prospect of dating was probably too big a deal for her, so since she isn't sure of herself or what she wants in life in general, she's liable to sell herself short once in a while. You have to show you're actually worth some effort (like getting her ass out of the house instead of watching TV and chatting with her girlfriends).

I think you did OK. But you should do some searches, for instance on the Roissy site, for some excellent text-message exchanges that led places. This girl was down for hanging out, but probably wasn't sure if you'd be worth her time 1:1. I think all it would've taken was a demonstration that you could give her feelings of anticipation.

Notice she followed up the first time? She was starting to worry what you think about her.

You could've done something with that - the best reply would've been "Yeah, no worries. I've just been busy. Pick a different day." Then if she flakes on her own choice, we know she's scum beyond any reasonable doubt.

But definitely not bad for a 19yo.

Post: #6

Quote: If a girl flakes once, delete number and move on.

Especially for the first date. If a girl flakes on the first date, she can't even come through once, forget it.

Post: #7

Legitimate reasons aside.

Although, I have had girls give me some pretty bad excuses. One girl once told me her father had a blood-clot. Guess she really didn't want to see me, ha!

Post: #8

I think you rushed it. Playing soccer with her every week is a great way to build comfort. Its also a great way to demonstrate your alphaness. You can bully other guys, score goals, play great defense, be a leader, and even take your shirt off after to show her your body. (if you've been working out)

These soccer games are basically just like a group date. You are spending time together doing something fun in a social setting. You were already in a great position to hang out with her.

How much were you guys talking, laughing, and connecting during and after these soccer games? Did you share quality eye contact? If you can't connect in an organic social environment, its might be tough to assume its gonna happen on a one on one date.

Asking her out puts unnecessary pressure on her to make a decision. And it also gives her a chance to say "no".

I would have brought a cooler of beers to the game and pulled it out afterwards. Then you could "date" her without ever asking. If that goes well, you could go for a one on one.

Now, you are in a tough spot. But, fuck it, ask her again, at this point you have nothing to lose. If you don't, you look like a pussy.

Post: #9

^^^

I second Giovonny. I tend to keep social circle game and date game separate. Social circle game is all about demonstrating your superior social skills, flirting with multiple girls and getting them to demonstrate their interest in you. Getting access to you outside of the social circle, getting alone time with you, that should be something that girls aspire to, not the other way around. In situations like a recreational sports league, you should be going for lays, not for numbers and dates.

Post: #10

Cheers for the replies.

I'm definitely guilty of not keeping enough girls in my orbit. I'm a student (hence: broke) so don't get to go out much. Me and my mate (virgin) have vowed that we will hit up some clubs at least once a week and make approaches.

When i initially told her to come for drinks with me and the guys from indoor, she didn't know who would be there except me which I took as a very good sign (there are 6 guys in the team, so there is a chance she was 'hoping' someone in particular would be there)

The fact that she didn't offer an alternate time either time i asked her out was why i decided to close the book.. I'll put her on the back burner for now and may try one more time, im thinking after our next game get everyone to go to the pub next door and have a few drinks. I'll make sure i get some kino in and isolate her from the other horny bastards in my team. I was confident that she had been displaying IOI's (some examples - Im goal keeper, when she would do something embarassing like fall over or miss the ball she would often look back at me and laugh in an embarassed sort of way.. she also puts her hand on my shoulder when i make a good save for example and tells me that i'm playing well, etc.) .

Giovanny, I've been hitting the gym for about 6 monts now and look fairly good, i always make sure to wear a tight fitting T-Shirt to show this off.


A face is always nice to go along with a story so I will post a pic of her when i hit 10 posts and let you guys judge if she is worth the effort

Post: #11

Wait what? You look like a pussy if you keep a zero-tolerance attitude to flakiness?

I suspect every "Alpha" who kept trying to get dates with her are winding up dating. Nevermind that she's on the soccer team and probably get hit on by the other guys all the time..

The worst thing you can do when starting out is getting hung up on one girl.

Post: #12

Another update...

Indoor soccer tonight, she asks if she can use my phone to dial her phone to see if it's in her bag.. After she finishes dialling, she says to me "did you get a new phone?", I didn't know why she asked me that because it's an old looking phone so I told her no and that i've had it a while.. Then it hit me - she thought I got a new phone because her name wasnt in my contact list because i deleted her! hahaaaaa... I don't know if that's a good thing or not but it made me feel pretty good

Anyway, we're all going out for drinks again tomorrow for my birthday so I'll alpha this shit up and we'll see what happens. Here is a pic (on the right).

Post: #13

shes a bit below average dye not think?

Post: #14

(10-27-2011 10:18 AM)alecks Wrote:  shes a bit below average dye not think?

Kid is 19 yo, no previous experience of game. Gotta start somewhere.

Post: #15

Go for the girl on the left if you can. Cute and gives off the slut vibe. The one on the right doesn't to me.

Post: #16

(10-11-2011 11:15 AM)Roosh Wrote:  

Quote: If a girl flakes once, delete number and move on.

Especially for the first date. If a girl flakes on the first date, she can't even come through once, forget it.

If she flakes move on; if she cancels last-minute but makes an honorable effort to apologize by calling you, and tries to reschedule, give it a 2nd shot, but no more!

Women just test your level of neediness to see what kind of guy you are. If you can take her cancellation in a cool, calm manner and not act needy or pissed off - you're in for the 2nd date as higher value.

Mixx

Post: #17

what do you guys think of the fact she knows i deleted her number? good thing or bad thing?

She's got this innocence to her which I like.. 'Innocent' girls are always the most rewarding to bang IMO. (i know, most girls aren't innocent at all, but at least they try to pretend they are)

Post: #18

Girl on the left is crazy cute! Befriend the one on the right to get to the cute one.