Post: #26

(02-20-2012 02:03 PM)Greek kamaki Wrote:  Swedish women are gorgeous however they know that we Mediteraneans will trick them to do what they do not want to do so they stay away but very cleverly meaning they take the good part(flirt etc) and refuse the rest.Mediteranean men are considered rather easy for swedish women it is like a heaven for them.

If you play the aggressive Balkan mode you attract lots of attention in Sweden by other nationalites such as Arabs etc.Generally one has to stand out from other minorities if you look like Arab,Turk you are doomed because swedish women have been largely exposed to them and do not want to get hooked with them.But if you manage to attract the Swedish girls Swedish men will try to stop you I had Swedish guys coming and grabbing the girls out of me literarilly Vikings are not passive folks they are passive only when there is no danger.

LOL. I've been reading your stuff all over the place and the only thing that I see are insane generalizations.

Most Swedish girls I ever hooked up with still hit me up. They also openly admit that they love mediterranean men and that their guys are boring. You just have to go for the right ones. Everyone has their own taste. This applies even more for Finnish girls since Finnish guys have absolutely no fashion sense and need half a bottle of vodka to show feelings.

If you look southern European, are fun, dress well and most importantly, know their culture... they will love you. And yes, this does involve agreeing with shit from her stupid left wing friends once in a while.. but I gladly pay that price for what I get in return.

Post: #27

Laner had a good thread going about his on-the-ground experiences which even I thought to be good info. You can learn from this.

...and then the ever present myths start rolling in. I'm starting to doubt that it's possible to have a thread on Sweden on this forum without everything turning black & white. A guy gets laid by a Swedish girl once in the distant past and from that point forward he's an expert on all things Scandinavian.

Post: #28

(02-21-2012 02:31 PM)Vicious Wrote:  Laner had a good thread going about his on-the-ground experiences which even I thought to be good info. You can learn from this.

...and then the ever present myths start rolling in. I'm starting to doubt that it's possible to have a thread on Sweden on this forum without everything turning black & white. A guy gets laid by a Swedish girl once in the distant past and from that point forward he's an expert on all things Scandinavian.

This is a problem Im finding with the forum as a whole. I am sometimes as much to blame but I am always completely honest about my overall impressions of a place I have been. Guys need to reign it in a bit and try to be as unbiased as possible. If they want to detail their personal experience then great... but general observations like Laner described are much more useful for other guys when deciding to visit a country. Everbody is individual and everybodies personal experience will be different. If there is one thing you really can't generalise about it is people, no matter where they are from.

Post: #29

The first pic in this slideshow (the blonde walking solo) is all I need to see to have my mind made up about Sweden. I am definitely making that trip!

Post: #30

I have been spending more time in Malmo lately and I am starting to love this city on the weekends. During the week, Lund is fine and has a lot happening based around the university. I spend a lot of time at home working, but I am going out on Wednesdays as its “little Saturday” here in Sweden.

This past Friday I was in Malmo again for a drink with a girl. The quality of women was unreal. I put it on level, if not a notch higher than Stockholm. It was that good.
Even the girl I was with was impressed.

I mentioned before as a bit of a joke that I should start a spreadsheet to keep track of the dating lifestyle. Two weeks ago I did this in order to keep track of the who, what and where of these girls. I seem to be the only one I know dating multiple women here.

I mentioned that I am having trouble getting ONS and that is still true. Having said that I just thought that the women I was going for were not down for ONS, I stepped back and re-evaluated why it was that I thought that I could not persuade a woman to come home with me the same night. Hot women were going home with guys somewhere in Malmo, and I want it to be with me.

I have heard many times (in foreign media) that Swedes hook up for sex first and date second. So this has lead me to think that there is some truth to this. Just because it is not my personal experience yet, does not mean that it does not work for other guys.
So I am adding a certain level of Viking style to my late night game now. I see guys go to the bar and get drunk, and literally just pull girls up to them and hold them there while they talk to them. I don’t understand Swedish but I do know body language and I know they are putting sex on the table. I see this happen more at the clubs where it is impossible to build any sort of attraction through conversation due to the level of the sound. I would say that unless you are exceptionally handsome, you might be at a disadvantage in clubs in Sweden. Bars are much better.

Digging a bit deeper into the feminism thing in Sweden has led to some interesting topics. With the girls I have been seeing, it seems that now is a prime time for a change in attitude for the men. The equal rights debate has overstayed its usefulness and the women are wishing that men would take a bit more control and show their masculine side. These women want to be treated like a lady and not like an “equal” when it comes to relationships. They want a man that can hold his head high and talk with confidence in any situation. I was told the other night when I was out with a girl, that she felt safe with me and said to me that “nothing scares you, does it?”

Like I mentioned before, showing contrast and some vulnerability at the right times is a real key here.

If I can finally crack the ONS situation here, I will feel that I have finally "figured out" Sweden.

Post: #31

Hey Laner,
Thanks for the update. I am thinking about spending some time in Sweden over the summer. Would you say Malmo is a better option than Stockholm. It is literally next door to Denmark.. I wonder if this has a negative influence on the quality of Women?
Also, May I ask what your obsession is with ONS. I don't understand what the big deal is… If it takes a date or 2 you are still getting them in the sack. Easy girls are on the whole more unsatisfying for numerous reasons. Surely quality over ease is a good thing? Just curious.
Cheers!

(03-04-2012 06:56 PM)Laner Wrote:  I have been spending more time in Malmo lately and I am starting to love this city on the weekends. During the week, Lund is fine and has a lot happening based around the university. I spend a lot of time at home working, but I am going out on Wednesdays as its “little Saturday” here in Sweden.

This past Friday I was in Malmo again for a drink with a girl. The quality of women was unreal. I put it on level, if not a notch higher than Stockholm. It was that good.
Even the girl I was with was impressed.

I mentioned before as a bit of a joke that I should start a spreadsheet to keep track of the dating lifestyle. Two weeks ago I did this in order to keep track of the who, what and where of these girls. I seem to be the only one I know dating multiple women here.

I mentioned that I am having trouble getting ONS and that is still true. Having said that I just thought that the women I was going for were not down for ONS, I stepped back and re-evaluated why it was that I thought that I could not persuade a woman to come home with me the same night. Hot women were going home with guys somewhere in Malmo, and I want it to be with me.

I have heard many times (in foreign media) that Swedes hook up for sex first and date second. So this has lead me to think that there is some truth to this. Just because it is not my personal experience yet, does not mean that it does not work for other guys.
So I am adding a certain level of Viking style to my late night game now. I see guys go to the bar and get drunk, and literally just pull girls up to them and hold them there while they talk to them. I don’t understand Swedish but I do know body language and I know they are putting sex on the table. I see this happen more at the clubs where it is impossible to build any sort of attraction through conversation due to the level of the sound. I would say that unless you are exceptionally handsome, you might be at a disadvantage in clubs in Sweden. Bars are much better.

Digging a bit deeper into the feminism thing in Sweden has led to some interesting topics. With the girls I have been seeing, it seems that now is a prime time for a change in attitude for the men. The equal rights debate has overstayed its usefulness and the women are wishing that men would take a bit more control and show their masculine side. These women want to be treated like a lady and not like an “equal” when it comes to relationships. They want a man that can hold his head high and talk with confidence in any situation. I was told the other night when I was out with a girl, that she felt safe with me and said to me that “nothing scares you, does it?”

Like I mentioned before, showing contrast and some vulnerability at the right times is a real key here.

If I can finally crack the ONS situation here, I will feel that I have finally "figured out" Sweden.

Post: #32

(03-04-2012 06:56 PM)Laner Wrote:  I have been spending more time in Malmo lately and I am starting to love this city on the weekends.

Great post, Laner. You are dealing with some of the EXACT same stuff I have been, beyond flakiness, except you are much better at identifying a system then I have.

I have had this hunch that the more desirable women here are RIPE for a real man to pop along, although they will still put up a fight if you are too chauvinistic without the required charm. But the more charming you are, the more chauvinism she will tolerate.

Too bad it just got colder!

PS @Richie - the obsession with ONS is the CHALLENGE! Ultimately, you are right, but having game tight enough to ensure all options is our goal here.

Post: #33

May be in Malmo for a long weekend. Sounds like i won't have much luck gunning for a notch, but I'm always up for a good chase. I'll be working late on Friday and Saturday but other than that my time is my own. I can stay for however long, mid may.

Post: #34

Quote:PS @Richie - the obsession with ONS is the CHALLENGE! Ultimately, you are right, but having game tight enough to ensure all options is our goal here.

Correct.

I have been busy lately working and traveling. This has heavily influenced the way I can go about meeting new women. I guess I fell into a good routine here, and the desire to go out and find new women while I am so busy has been put aside.

I have a nice rotation of two women now and that is all I can possibly handle. For a brief time there was a third but if I want to actually enjoy myself, two is the max. I still save one night a week where I go out (usually alone) and try and meet new people. But the reality is that I am satisfied with my sexual health and other than a random ONS I would not be so inclined to put any more time into dating. Trading up is always an option I guess, but the other side of this is ALL new women look like a trade up when I first meet them. The fact that I have not seen them naked makes up most of this reason. I am experienced enough to know that the reality of the situation is much different.

What is interesting about Swedish women is the systematic breakdown of the shell when they like someone. Dating is a great way to see this as each date they get a little softer, and around the third date open up completely and become a tender and feminine woman. The outer shell is (almost) completely gone and times alone are unguarded and I feel like I can sit back slightly and just enjoy being with a beautiful woman.

The amount of times I have been flaked on in Sweden is staggering. This has been a whole new experience. I am not new to flaking women, but I was caught off guard for the first little while that I was here. I would go from a night with a girl where she was completely open and laying in my arms telling me that she likes me to never hearing from her again. I am quite sure that this is not a tactic on their part to get a guy to chase them (though they do enjoy being chased as this is unusual in Sweden) but is instead “its over”. My phone is full of calls that went out, and were never returned.

One of the difficult things in Sweden is the lack of any kind of social pub atmosphere. The insanely high drink prices make it very difficult to find girls out at a decent hour sober. Instead the curious pre drink and after party culture exists. As I have stated before, I tend to get to venues very early (11:30) to meet the women who show up at that time (men show up later as it takes them longer to feel a buzz) and start to lay my groundwork then. Then at around 2am I hit the girls that I met earlier (if they are still there).

Drinking Culture

I went out with a really great girl about six times. Three of those times were sober and really great. We connected, had lots in common and were very attracted to each other. The other three times were on a weekend in the bar. She proceeded to get so drunk that it was nearly impossible to have anything close to decent sex. It was sloppy, and the next day she wanted to stay in bed most of the day in her sweatpants and then go to her girlfriends and lay on the couch and eat junk food and watch American TV. This is a strangely typical Sunday all over Scandinavia. In the end, I just did not want to deal with this kind of dysfunction but she beat me to the punch and cut off all communication with me anyways.

Another interesting thing is that I am having more sober sex here. In fact the two women that I am seeing now are non drinkers (one drinks a glass or two of wine) and yet I found that it did not at all change the way that I could get them into bed. What did change is that I had be up front and tell them that I want to take them home and ravage them while I was completely sober. I admit that it still makes me nervous to come out and say it while both of us are sober. Channeling the adrenaline into focusing on closing the deal is insanely exciting, unlike few other things in life. In fact, the feeling I get from putting myself on the line like this reminds me of why I love this game so much.

Post: #35

There does not seem to ever be a good time for me to leave a place. It is always the same principles that apply to my thinking: I didn’t do EVERYTHING I had wanted to do, I didn’t get to sleep with as many girls as I wanted to, make enough contacts, be as productive as I could have, etc, etc. I am a sporadically hard worker, and so at times I can be a gentleman of leisure, as certain friends put it.

Sweden gave me the feeling of work never accomplished. In a society that is taught to work hard and be there for the kingdom and each other, I never truly felt like there would be a place for me here. The truth is though; I have been lucky in the way that I have broken into social groups here and met some really interesting people. I have heard over and over from Swedish friends whom I have met that they are not used to being infiltrated by a foreigner before. I have stirred up nests with cirlces of girls and have capitalized a lot of the girls time and I have felt some resentment (from the guys) for this.

By nature, Sweden is quite cliquey. Long cold winters and small cities along with tight knit villages make it hard for people to be willing to step outside of their comfort zones and spend a lot of time with new people. It takes a lot of strength to do this for Swedes. Many only end up a few miles from where they grew up. There is an underlying feeling here that soon after the 30th birthday, there will be two Volvos, a couple kids and a dog running around the small village home. I am used to this scenario as it is not much different than what is expected of people where I come from , and the world over. What seems unique to Sweden though is that marriage is not as common as one would think in regards to making the domestic bliss a reality. Couples seem to be able to split after a long term and move on without too much pain. The whole reality of trading up, or leaving behind is not thought of as something to be ashamed of.

When I hear the stories of what couples have gone through, and how different people have ended up together, and the tangles of the sexual history here I get a bit confused. Becoming a pretty solid part of a few people’s lives here I have to really tune out the sexual history of those around the girls I am sleeping with. While not a jealous guy, I have a lot of possessive traits when it comes to the women I am with. I own that shit, and the casual attitude that is displayed toward past sexual partners takes some getting used to.

Of course this works in my benefit as well. I had stopped contact with more than a couple girls and have consequently run into them at some sort of social function. Things are amazingly drama free, and to my surprise there are no awkward questions of why I never called back. One thing that Swedish feminism has done is let the women know that if they had wanted to, they could have easily called the man back. They hold just as much of the fault as the man in this regard.

On the topic of feminism there have been some arguments with girls that I have spent some time with. While I have highlighted the fact that I do not see the raging Scandinavian feminism that I was warned that I would see, I have seen a certain type of unique blend that seems to work out OK here. Some of my old cowboy swagger does not go down very well here at all, and yet at other times I have been able to make girls giggle and purr. It was all about contrast in the end, but unfortunately this ended up taking a lot longer to hone than I would have liked. I did end up in a mini relationship with a woman who I would consider as one of the better ones in my life.

Swedish women are strong, hardworking, and sexual. They are also amazingly beautiful. They would make good wives and mothers. But one has to overlook the wild past that most Swedes experience through the university days and perhaps a little longer. Summers spent abroad on Greek islands and such leave little to the imagination on what takes place there. While I would be hypocrite to say that I do not want this for women, I do not feel bad in sticking to my double standard.

There is nothing gained for beautiful blonde Swedish woman to sleep with a handful of different guys over the course of her two week stay on Kos. Yet it seems to be a recurring story here. For all I know, going back all those years to when I managed to sleep with a few Swedish girls on holiday in Greece, that I could very well have slept with the same girl that I am now.

Being in a sexually forward country that has perhaps the best genes in the world for males and females is going to do that to a person. I have been out with friends and I hear a girl gush about how beautiful the man is that she started seeing last week. There is also certainly a lot less of the Scandinavian beta male that I would have thought by reading and listening to other peoples stories. Sure Swedish men do not approach that often, but when it comes to getting the sex they do very well. I would have a hard time to compare any other country in the world where guys are landing such quality women just based on the genetics of a people. There is balance here, and the men and women certainly deserve each other.

Post: #36

The above post is required reading in understanding Swe from a game perspective.

I couldn't have written it, I'm learning from it.

Post: #37

Very well said Laner. I enjoyed your post.
Now I am going to Kos

The level of promiscuity for Scandinavians abroad is insane. I met girls in Thailand who were sleeping with a new guy every night and bragging about it the next day. They were getting laid more than I was. It was a huge turn off actually. There are plenty of Swedes here in London but they are a different crowd from when they are on holiday.
Groups of Swedish girls on holiday would usually include 3 or 4 average lookers with an untouchable 9 thrown in.

Post: #38

Great post Laner.

I have been to Kos and it was a great time, I got a swiss flag there.

Post: #39

(05-23-2012 02:51 PM)Laner Wrote:  There is nothing gained for beautiful blonde Swedish woman to sleep with a handful of different guys over the course of her two week stay on Kos. Yet it seems to be a recurring story here. For all I know, going back all those years to when I managed to sleep with a few Swedish girls on holiday in Greece, that I could very well have slept with the same girl that I am now.

This is what I realized when I started hooking up with Swedish girls. A lot of them will sleep around on a greek island after a few shots, but will make you work way harder when back home. Obviously, this is all due to the enviroment but I'm someone who doesn't like to 'pay more than he shouldn't' and this turns me off.

For an one night stand, I obviously wouldn't care. But for something more... I'd definitely feel up a girls history and if she's been to these places numerous times, I would strongly consider a less passed around hole.

About the feminism, yeah it's rather interesting. As long as you simply respect them, I think that the feminist thing actually comes out as an advantage for you. Unlike Denmark or Finland, I've experienced most Swedish women as rather feminine and girly.

Post: #40

I thought I would do a quick comparison and a rehashing of Sweden while it is still fresh in my mind.

I will admit the first weeks back in Canada were intense. I had not realized what a bubble Swedes (and Norwegians) are living in. The social safety net was never that noticeable in Sweden, until it exists no longer. While Canada has a pretty good social system, you are free to fall a lot further here, far enough until you are so far gone that all there is left is a disfigured hulk of a human. I have lived in one of the rougher parts of the city for over a decade and it never really hit me until recently. There is a massive amount of hustle and desperation in North America, much more than I ever seen in Sweden (or most of Europe for that matter).

For this I can say that Sweden is on the right path. The place made me want to have babies. For some strange reason (probably due to boredom) I found myself much more care free in regards to getting a girl pregnant. If it happened, it happened. Even though myself I was not ready to deal with the responsibility of having a child, the idea of having a family in Sweden made sense and tripped a little primal switch in my brain.

I have some friends there that have kids and they have all packed the family out to little villages a few minutes outside Malmo. These places are almost Stepfordesque. The moms are hot, the dads handsome and hardworking, the kids are all kids with great teeth and blonde hair and big blue eyes. There are Audi’s and Volvos in the drives and there are no pubs to be seen. Life is good, but do not dare to ask for anything out of the ordinary or wish for anything exciting to happen. It won’t.

North America is just more bad ass. There is a spirit of making shit happen and to constantly try for bigger and better. There is potential to make money, and an equal potential to get ripped off. This has taken some getting used to for me as I took on a contract when I came back and therefore have sunken tens of thousands of dollars of my own money to make it happen. What if I get screwed over (I have seen it happen too often to not think of it as a possibility)? This kind of thing is well protected in a place like Sweden, and besides it just would not happen.

My transition with women in Sweden went from unsure at the beginning to the point of hype at times. I met some amazing women and even fell in love for what is likely the first time. Living this kind of life I was often unsure of the ability to love a woman, but suddenly I found myself in an incredible situation with an amazing woman.

I don’t think that Swedish women have anything more in their personalities that make them better then Canadian women, but I would be lying if I said there was nothing there. They have a certain innocence and naiveté to them that can be endearing at times and frustrating at other times. They are certainly among the most beautiful women in the world and the way that they stupidly float through potentially dangerous situations is shocking. For educated women who have some of the best genes I have come across, they sure do make some stupid decisions (likely due to living in the Swedish bubble).

One thing that is hard to get used to back here in North America is the attitude and defense the women have. Vancouver here has a reputation for being extremely cliquey; meaning getting to know people outside of the social circle is difficult. I have already experienced that a few times here, and found that no matter the attraction there are too many hurdles to jump over to get girl and to build attraction after the initial meet is hard. Pushing for sex the same night works the best here; however in my (recent) experience even though the friends are pushing the girl onto me, she is very hesitant to leave her friends.

Girls here complain about finding good guys, and guys here complain about finding good girls. The truth is that the girls only hook up with the bad boys and the guys either put in some hard work (rare) or are left to deal with the teasing and flakiness of the women. Even with hard work its still a shit place to find a quality girl that I would be willing to share a future with. In that matter, Swedish women are superior.

In Sweden I never slept with a woman who was in a relationship. I met lots who were, built attraction and I could see there was desire, but they all remained committed to their men. It was a little frustrating in the sexual sense, but it was encouraging to see that women of this calibre were not running around desperately trying to find a higher status man.

Sweden was good to me. I have a certain attachment to the place now, even though I will likely never call it home. The weather, lack of good skiing, and the potential boredom are the main reasons, although I will try my hardest to be in Sweden every May for the rest of my life. Spectacular.