Post: #1

Been talking to my friend Jen in Maryland lately. She's been dating this guy for about a year now. Problem is he keeps ducking the relationship label of "girlfriend" with her. Every time he brings her around his friends he introduces her as everything under the sun except his "girlfriend". I laughed at her and said, "Ha you're dating a player!!"

So she finally had it out with him and she left him. She told me his concept of dating was to be fuck buddies until he was ready to settle down. Then he would put a ring on her finger. I couldn't stop laughing.

She found out he got his ex pregnant while they were dating.

Do you guys have a problem with the girlfriend label just to shut her the hell up? I mean what's the difference if you gonna sleep around anyway?

Post: #2

This is MAJOR for women. Call it a shit test if you will, but once you're at the stage where you're introducing her around and going to functions together, they're listening closely to the title you're assigning them when introducing them to other people. All of your actions and time spent could be indicative of "girlfriend" treatment, but until they actually hear you say it in the presence of others, she's going to assume she's something less than that, or maybe even a dirty secret.

This guy I used to hang out and work with in the 90s had a girlfriend for 3 years (I was there the night they met...in fact, I pointed her out as a chick he should talk to and ask to dance), and close acquaintences didn't even know about her. He used to promote parties, and she'd work the door and collect his money, and friends would come to the parties and not know the chick they were paying was his girl. He was like a spy keeping that shit secret. At some of these parties he'd be fooling around with chicks in the bathroom, while his girl was working the door. CRAZY. But she allowed it, and never questioned why she never really met a lot of his circle. She did call him out on it once though. She overheard him on the phone with someone, and he referred to her as "the girl I've been dating" when they were probably a couple of years in. When he hung up, she laid into him. But she still hung with him for a while after that, so that's on her.

Post: #3

Dude has some serious frame issues.

Post: #4

I'm not keen on dishonesty so I don't pretend a girl is my girlfriend if she's not. This does limit my ability slightly as some girls really crave that label but I don't care.

Most girls will accept any arrangement offered, be it fuck buddies, FWBs or whatever, if delivered with the right frame.

I always say very early on something along the lines of "I don't do traditional relationships".

If pressed as to why I just say some philosophical stuff about them being destructive, but make sure that I keep it in an emotive context rather than a logical one.

Post: #5

I feel the girlfriend label gives them the perception that they can show up unexpected at your place and go through your shit, phone etc without having a guilty conscience about it.

It's like they all believe that you're seeing other women but they want that "anchor" of girlfriend so they can come down on you morally for cheating.

I care less and less about labels these days. I don't even care if a girl is seeing other guys. I had one tell me "You're cool and you don't care". Apathy turns them on aparently.

Post: #6

(12-21-2011 09:57 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  Been talking to my friend Jen in Maryland lately. She's been dating this guy for about a year now. Problem is he keeps ducking the relationship label of "girlfriend" with her. Every time he brings her around his friends he introduces her as everything under the sun except his "girlfriend". I laughed at her and said, "Ha you're dating a player!!"

So she finally had it out with him and she left him. She told me his concept of dating was to be fuck buddies until he was ready to settle down. Then he would put a ring on her finger. I couldn't stop laughing.

She found out he got his ex pregnant while they were dating.

Do you guys have a problem with the girlfriend label just to shut her the hell up? I mean what's the difference if you gonna sleep around anyway?

I do the same thing... I never use labels but my main girl doesn't mind. When you have the upper hand and they really like you, women will let you get away with anything.

All goes back to not giving a fuck and just doing what you want.

Post: #7

(12-22-2011 10:01 PM)Gmac Wrote:  When you have the upper hand and they really like you, women will let you get away with anything.

All goes back to not giving a fuck and just doing what you want.

This exactly.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling