Post: #1

Hey all,

I met this girl at a bar a couple weeks ago and we really hit it off. I got her number and we planned on hanging out sometime. Well we were supposed to hang out on Saturday night and she stood me up. I deleted her number and decided to cut her loose.

She texted me the next morning and claimed she had an emergency and she was really sorry. She said she wanted to hang out again. My question to you guys is...Should I give her another chance? and if so I was thinking about just inviting her over for dinner and movie to see if she's DTF, since I don't want to take a chance of getting stood up in public again and or if she's not DTF it can save me the time. What do you all think?

Post: #2

Seems like a good call. You really have nothing to lose if you invite her over, and possibly something to gain. If it doesn't work after that, then you can forget about it if you don't feel like pursuing it.

Post: #3

go for it again. if she wants a public place use some anti-flake tactics (i think roosh had a blog post about this) bring a book work or whatever so it looks like you have a purpose to be there so if she does flake you dont look like an idiot. hell if the place gets busy start laying some game down as well

Post: #4

I think that you should go out in public if you choose to see her again. Mostly because if she stands you up again, you already outside looking somewhat nice, why not double up with some day game approaches.
If your not feeling day game, bring a book and get some reading done. Although the easier lay would be be with dinner / movie.

Post: #5

Always have a plan B, even if it just means going out solo to a club if she happens to flake on you. You shouldn't get "psyched up" to go out for nothing.

Post: #6

I'd give her a chance but make her work for it , example show up 10 min late to the date and like i think someone said have a plan B! And for God sakes don't go to a movie !! take her to a bar or something you want to fuck her brains out at the end of the night right? a movie will just have her sitting for 2 hours wondering if she can do better. YOu don't want her to think like that you want her a little lubed up (aka liquor) so you can make that smooth transition back to your place or hers!

Post: #7

Thanks guys. She agreed to coming over for take out and a DVD. We'll see if she flakes...

Post: #8

When a girl stands a guy up, no call, no crawling back apologizing and offering to take you out for a nice meal, nothing, it is the most disrespectful thing she can do. If it was a real emergency and she was actually into you, she would have sent that text message before standing you up. Or she would have worked her ass off making sure you knew how big the emergency was and then apologizing and offering to take you out for a nice meal. You think she would have done this to Brad Pitt?

When a girl stands you up it means she has no respect for men in general and YOU in particular.

It sure reads like this girl found something better to do last night than hang around with you (a guy who she clearly isn't all that into). Then the next morning, she doesn't want to completely burn her bridges with you (read: she wants to keep stringing you along so that she gets free attention and more validation because another guy is chasing after her) so she send you a message. Could be wrong but this is what it certainly looks like.

Should you see her?
Up to you.
I wouldn't.
But I date a lot of really wonderful women who would never and have never done anything like this and I'm meeting more everyday.

Keep in mind that any negative feelings that you get (that twisting in your gut when she gives you trouble, is rude, flakes, stands you up, acts resistant, seems to be working against your advances towards sex rather than working with you to have sex) are because you let this woman into your life.
There is still a chance you can have sex with her but it will likely be an uphill slog (assuming you don't mind having sex with a girl who doesn't actually like you and certainly doesn't respect you).

Go meet a whole lot more women.
There are literally millions of beautiful women with good attitudes who are waiting to meet a guy like you out there in the world. Way too many great ones out there to waste on a girl who gives you trouble.
Just gotta know how to find them.

Post: #9

(11-15-2011 11:17 PM)Jack D. Serrano Wrote:  When a girl stands a guy up, no call, no crawling back apologizing and offering to take you out for a nice meal, nothing, it is the most disrespectful thing she can do. If it was a real emergency and she was actually into you, she would have sent that text message before standing you up. Or she would have worked her ass off making sure you knew how big the emergency was and then apologizing and offering to take you out for a nice meal. You think she would have done this to Brad Pitt?

When a girl stands you up it means she has no respect for men in general and YOU in particular.

It sure reads like this girl found something better to do last night than hang around with you (a guy who she clearly isn't all that into). Then the next morning, she doesn't want to completely burn her bridges with you (read: she wants to keep stringing you along so that she gets free attention and more validation because another guy is chasing after her) so she send you a message. Could be wrong but this is what it certainly looks like.

Should you see her?
Up to you.
I wouldn't.
But I date a lot of really wonderful women who would never and have never done anything like this and I'm meeting more everyday.

Keep in mind that any negative feelings that you get (that twisting in your gut when she gives you trouble, is rude, flakes, stands you up, acts resistant, seems to be working against your advances towards sex rather than working with you to have sex) are because you let this woman into your life.There is still a chance you can have sex with her but it will likely be an uphill slog (assuming you don't mind having sex with a girl who doesn't actually like you and certainly doesn't respect you).

Go meet a whole lot more women.
There are literally millions of beautiful women with good attitudes who are waiting to meet a guy like you out there in the world. Way too many great ones out there to waste on a girl who gives you trouble.
Just gotta know how to find them.

Great advice, I'll have to refer back to this on occasion to remind myself that, ultimately, flaking is a complete lack of consideration and not something that should be taken lightly.

Post: #10

I think Jack has a lot of good points. If a girl stood you up and then called you a week later to see what was up, she wouldn't be worth spit. In a case like that, if she's hot enough to bang, I would set up a meet where everything is to my convenience, not hers, and then go all out for the bang and that's it. I wouldn't dilly dally. If she's up for it, cool, but she wouldn't get my respect one iota. I'd fuck her and try to come as fast as possible to make it clear I don't give a rat's ass about her. She would either feel like trash, or fall in love with me cuz I'm an asshole. LOL

However, if there was a real emergency, even though 90% she should have been able to contact you at that time, there really might be some situations where she couldn't. I don't know what the emergency was, but if I were to imagine a scenario where one of my family members got hurt and had to be taken to the hospital immediately, the last thing I would care about is contacting my date. I wouldn't forget, but I can imagine some people might and it wouldn't necessarily mean any disrespect toward you. Too many unanswered variables right now to judge.

I agree with most of the others here. Give her another chance, but have a plan b.

Post: #11

1. Invite her to your place so if she flakes again it's no skin off your back.
2. Make plans then stand her up.

Ultimately her excuse is just that unless she was hospitalized. Even if my parents died in a horrible plane crash, I'd send a "can't make it tonight" text in between sobs.