Post: #1

Been dating this girl who is 15 years younger than me. She is attached to me and always wanted a commitment but I put her off, not into that with her. Today she VMs me that she slept with another guy last nite. We don't have a relationship and I'm not sure what to do. Frankly, I don't care what the fuck she does, I'm pushing her away half the time. Anyway, now I am trying to figure out what to say/do. Thoughts?

Post: #2

Typical shit test. She's pushing your buttons to see how you react. When people cheat they deny it to the end. If you get upset or jealous its like admitting that you love her.

Call her out on being a liar. If she keeps going with it just say "Whatever". They hate that.

Just treat her like bratty little girl and she'll keep coming back for more.

Avoid commitment at all costs. Sounds like you're doing that anyway.

Post: #3

You are dating her but don't have a relationship with her? That's confusing. If you're seeing/sleeping with her regularly then that is a relationship isn't it? You say you don't care what she does, so what is the problem? Do nothing... The fact that she told you this suggests she may be trying to make you jealous/make more of a committment/fight for her or whatever. Personally, I don't consider it acceptable behaviour. Maybe you do secretly care, in which case, make your mind up if you want her to be faithful to you and lay your cards down. Otherwise, I would give my usual advice: just walk away.

Post: #4

She's a once a week fb who is really into me and I was thinking of keeping her in the stable...

Post: #5

Do you care that she slept with someone else or that she told you she slept with someone else? Without knowing more context, it sounds like a shit test.

Post: #6

yeah just brush it off.. and don't even acknowledge what she said.

Post: #7

I care that she told me like that. 1. It's drama

I think she's really young and has a guilty conscience, even if we had no rule/ I've been dating other girls and screwing....

Post: #8

Brush off? How exactly? She's going to bring it up again. She left me a text and another VM... *sigh*

Post: #9

The only reason I could see for her to admit to fucking another guy, if she's just a fuck buddy, is she's trying to gauge your reaction. To see if your feelings for her run deeper than you're showing, because SHE probably wants more from you, but is settling for the weekly dick-down to remain in your orbit with hopes that she'll get more. If she bring it up again, simply reply "okay," and continue on with what you usually talk about. If she presses on, ask her about details, and if it was good...HA HA!

Post: #10

i was thinking of sending an email telling her not to be such a drama queen and that id make sure she'd make it up to me...

but i like timoteo's advice too

Post: #11

I agree with Timoteo. Don't complain to her that she's a drama queen; making a big deal out of it is failing her shit test. If you want to keep things as is just play it down and/or ignore it.

Post: #12

I'd tell her what I tell all my girls.

"I don't care, but mostly I don't want to know about it. Keep it to yourself or we're done."

You might think it encourages her to sleep around more, but it seems to have had the reverse affect in my experience.

Post: #13

She did you a favor now you can fuck other girls with out feeling guilty.

Post: #14

(11-02-2011 07:47 AM)Gmac Wrote:  I'd tell her what I tell all my girls.

"I don't care, but mostly I don't want to know about it. Keep it to yourself or we're done."

You might think it encourages her to sleep around more, but it seems to have had the reverse affect in my experience.

Word!

Post: #15

My knee-jerk reaction was to respond with, "Was he any good?"

But after reading a few responses, I'd be inclined to combine this:

Quote:Call her out on being a liar. If she keeps going with it just say "Whatever".

With this:

Quote:"I don't care, but mostly I don't want to know about it. Keep it to yourself or we're done."

Call her out on lying. If she continues to say, "No but I did cheat! I did!" Respond with the, "Whatever, just keep it to yourself next time or we're done."

It reframes (what I like most about it) and makes it look like you're being so merciful to her. You know it works when she's thanked you and then gives you the fuck of your life.

Post: #16

What is "VM"

Post: #17

(11-02-2011 10:56 AM)Feo Wrote:  What is "VM"

Voicemail, presumably.

Post: #18

Honestly, if you haven't already, I wouldn't say ANYTHING. Don't even acknowledge it, keep acting exactly the same way you were before. Keep pushing her away, etc. Show no reaction.

Post: #19

"I hope you used a condom"

Post: #20

Admiral, in this case it's really up to each individual's own rules [for the harem]:

First, the nature of the admission is that she's divulging information to you she'd only divulge to close friends and people she trusts. Or, as others said - it's a shit-test.

In the first instance, tell her to can it because you're not her gossip-friend. In the second instance, well, there's all sorts of options.

Then there's you: how big a transgression is this?

If you don't give a shit, who cares? But if you're "merely" irritated, I'd consider calling her back (this is not taking it too seriously because she called you first, so it's not an escalation) and telling her in no uncertain terms that being a drama-queen is the fastest way to get kicked to the curb. Tell her to go talk to her friends if she wants to gossip and then ignore her for a few days to a week.

Finally, if you're not interested in sharing... well, than that's that.

Post: #21

You people are brilliant. Thanx much to all and for the Roosh himself to add his wisdom. Here's how it went.

Her: Can we talk soon? Please 6:38 PM
Her: I told you bc I care and u not saying is killing me 8:12 PM
Me: Hey you. You sure u are not lying? You didn't sleep with anyone I bet. You are just trying to get a reaction out of me 8:19 PM
Her: I promise I'm not. R u home? I feel so bad 8:21 PM
Her: I can't concentrate & would like to come see u even for just a second 8:24 PM
Me: I hope u used condoms 8:26 PM
Her: We did. Please for my peace of mind? 8:29 PM
Me: Look I don't really care about it. I do care about drama. So keep this stuff away from me. I don't wanna hear about it. Quickest way to make me run is drama. 8:32 PM
Me: Not tonite. Sometime later. Have a good nite 8:33 PM
Her: K. 8:36 PM

Post: #22

I would beware all of the full stops you used in your last text to her - can sound kind of angry and you want to go for indifferent, not enraged.

Should have invited her over, banged it out, and then told her it was over and instructed her to not bring it up again.

All in all, good job though. Props for using the condom line. I like your style.

Post: #23

Very nice. You controlled the situation perfectly.

You need to hit her up for sex soon while she still feels guilty.

Give her a good angry grudge fucking session so she knows you're pissed off at her.
She'll love it.

Post: #24

(11-02-2011 11:02 PM)AdmiralAdama Wrote:  You people are brilliant. Thanx much to all and for the Roosh himself to add his wisdom. Here's how it went.

Her: Can we talk soon? Please 6:38 PM
Her: I told you bc I care and u not saying is killing me 8:12 PM
Me: Hey you. You sure u are not lying? You didn't sleep with anyone I bet. You are just trying to get a reaction out of me 8:19 PM
Her: I promise I'm not. R u home? I feel so bad 8:21 PM
Her: I can't concentrate & would like to come see u even for just a second 8:24 PM
Me: I hope u used condoms 8:26 PM
Her: We did. Please for my peace of mind? 8:29 PM
Me: Look I don't really care about it. I do care about drama. So keep this stuff away from me. I don't wanna hear about it. Quickest way to make me run is drama. 8:32 PM
Me: Not tonite. Sometime later. Have a good nite 8:33 PM
Her: K. 8:36 PM

You KNOW that hamster is still spinning. It must have been SO hard for you to not let her come over so you could fuck her. But good work. Restraint was important. Let it build a little longer, then she'll fuck you like never before.

Post: #25

Should have left the condoms part out and just went straight for the "I don't care."