Post: #1

Lately, I've had this bad habit of telling tall tales (lying) to girls I meet in bars, just for fun. If a girl tells me she's actually 20 and snuck in the bar, I tell her I'm 19, and didn't need to sneak in. If she asks about where I live, I tell her the truth first (I live in a farm town) and then make a joke about having chickens in my backyard (another stupid lie).

Lately, I've also been lying about my ethnicity. Girls will typically ask me what I am, because I look kind of oriental. Historically I'd tell them the truth by saying international gangbang (english, irish, dutch, german, native american, portuguese/brazilian, and half han-chinese). Lately however, I decided to mix things up and tell stories about how I'm a Kazak that was adopted from Kazakhstan. Actual Kazaks have told me that I look Kazak, which makes this even more fun. I tell lies, not because the truthful information about myself is boring, but because lying is just fun. I should probably quit doing this though. Here's why..

I number closed this cute as hell 20 year old half german/half croatian au pair from Frankfurt. She's interested in seeming me again (possibly tomorrow the 9th) but I haven't told her I was just BSing for fun. She doesn't know that I'm actually a 22 year old, born and raised american, with "international gangbang" as my real ancestry.

Am I screwed? What do I do???

Post: #2

Also, I didn't get a kiss close before the # close. No kiss at all yet. Hopefully I'll get her there during the date.

After some talking, I escalated physically, I got right in her face for the make out. I told her I was going to kiss her, and she physically held me back. Afterwards we just sat down together and exchanged numbers. After some texting, she wants to see me again..

She admited to me that she was lonely by herself here in America. But is she DTF?

Post: #3

That could really suck if it ends up having promise for a longer term interaction. The bad thing about lies is that you have to remember what you said and then probably make up more lies to back it up. European au pair you say? She's a whore believe it.

Post: #4

If you have to lie, stick to it and remember what you've said and to whom. Younger European girls who are lonely in the states at first do less BS txt and phone games and are actually honest. Later, attention will spoil her. Use this moment to your advantage, dude, good luck!

Post: #5

(06-09-2009 10:14 AM)Trotter Wrote:  That could really suck if it ends up having promise for a longer term interaction. The bad thing about lies is that you have to remember what you said and then probably make up more lies to back it up. European au pair you say? She's a whore believe it.

For sure. Got caught in some bad ones last relationship. I told the girl I had gotten tested after my last girlfriend, but then told a friend in front of her that it had been a looooonng time since I've been tested. She was soooo pissed because we never used condoms. I don't really give a fuck though.

Post: #6

At that point you should have just looked her square in the eyes and yelled "SURPRISE!"

Post: #7

If you're going to lie, make it big. Lying about small things is not worth it.
DOesn't mean you can't play around when she asks you simple questions, but eventually spit out the truth.

Post: #8

So I did the day 2. She still thinks I'm 19, but it doesn't matter. She's just a lonely foreign au pair girl that's not really DTF (my fault). I think I still have a very small trace of this nice guy vibe left, but just enough to retard any sexual momentum.

I don't feel guilty for lying to her. I drove 45 minutes to Northern Delaware, only to get LJBF. Sweet.

More later...

Post: #9

A foreign au pair that didn't whore herself out? I guess I'm not really shocked, but from the ones I've known they were just spreading their love where ever it could go.

Meh, well write her off and there's a chance she may call you back if she starts to feel lonely.

Post: #10

I don't know why this is so long, and I doubt anyone will read the whole thing. Wish I could have made this much shorter, but I can't pin point what went wrong..


After some texting, she decides that she REALLY wants to meet me again. I try to suggest something, but she knew that she's way more familar with the area, so inevitably she picks. We agreed to meet at 9 o'clock. I arrive early, but sit in some far off parking lot, getting ready to show up late. Exactly at 9, she calls me, saying she's been waiting already. I arrive 10 minutes late.

I was hoping to pick out a table where I could sit next to her, but she had one picked out already. She's already sitting there, and I'm stuck sitting across from her, as if it's a dinner date. Thanks to this setup, I'm stuck with games of footsie as my only kino. During our conversation, her female friends (from germany) were constantly calling and texting her. In a fun way, I gave her some shit for it, and she agreed she was being rude.

After an hour of conversation and alcohol, we decide to bounce, but she refuses to go to the quieter bar up the street. Instead, she drags me to this loud uppity local bar where washed-up jocks are watching some game and the girls there are dancing to some lame bar band -- the usual LAME bar experience around here.

We end up sitting outside of this bar to continue our conversation about people, bars, our lives, and all that comfort building stuff with occasional teasing thrown in. This time I'm within arms reach, and I keep touching her, holding her hand on and off, anything to "kino-escalate." She keeps complaining about how lonely she is in America, how no one wants to talk to her (doesn't make any sense, she's cute as hell). I change the subject, but she keeps talking about not having any friends..

Then I notice, she doesn't fit in at this bar at all. She's a pale, foreign national, dressed up like somekind of yuppie/bookworm compared to all the bar mongers there. Most all the other girls there have fake tans, tight skirts and/or a little too much make up. I explain this to her, and she is shocked at her lack of awareness. We go back inside because she wants to see the band, and I just start chatting it up with other people. Soon, people are buying me drinks (not unusual). She sits at the bar, and watches me make friends. She's dumbfounded. It becomes clear that her social skills are actually much weaker than mine. The only people that talk to her are the ones that I approached and befriend first. Even then, I hear her making remarks that she doesn't realize are potentially insulting. I let her talk to some chodes that bought me drinks, they have zero game and surround her like flies on shit. They totally amog themselves out.

Later the bar closes, and her and I are sitting on the curb because she's afraid to drive to her host family's home drunk. I keep touching her, putting my arms around her, trying to get as close to the make out as possible. I suggest we sit in the car together, but she's not into it. She hugs me and I go for the make out. She pushes me back, then she and kisses me on the cheek. Before we part ways, she tells me I'm her best friend in America, and tells me how I should have no problems getting some other girl because I'm very good looking and blah blah...

And I drive home with the worst case of blue balls in my life!!!

I can't stop thinking about her, but I must carry on.

Post: #11

From the get go you're letting her call the shots. When and where, the seating arrangement, what bar to go to... <shakes head>. If anything she's just looking for a chaperone to take her out to places because she doesn't want to be sitting in her host family's home when it's supposed to be fun time. I surely hope you capture that photo without her knowing it too because that can be rather creepy.

So this is what I'm hearing:

Her: "Let's meet at blah at blah time." (friends sign)
Her: "Let's sit like this across from one another like normal people." (friends sign)
Her: "Let's go to this bar because it's where I want to go." (friends sign)
Her: "You're my friend." (ugh, shot through the heart... freinds sign)

It almost seems like she's going out of her way to make sure other people won't think of you two as a couple. European chicks are culturally different from American chicks too. So I'm not surprised about how she took control over your date. And without knowing really what was said we can only presume that your game wasn't where it needed to be. Maybe not saying the right things, saying the wrong things, not doing the correct things.

Quote:I change the subject, but she keeps talking about not having any friends..

Bam! Openings. I hope you took advantage of these. "If you weren't so rude and mean..." <wink>

If I were you in your shoes I would have picked my own seat regardless of what she may have thought. I either would have seated myself next to her if that's what I wanted, or I would have just lead her to another area that was more to my liking. Sitting across from her isn't a terrible thing though. It's all in how you play the cards you're dealt.

Anyhow, my distinct feeling is that you let her control the date from the word go. She may have also gone in it with the mindset that she's not looking to fuck you which is a tough barrier to break down. It also sounds like you didn't do anything to build attraction. It sounds like she kept throwing things at you which you didn't seem to have a responce for: "and tells me how I should have no problems getting some other girl because I'm very good looking"

.. ouch.

Post: #12

(06-12-2009 01:29 PM)Trotter Wrote:  From the get go you're letting her call the shots.

Yeah... I kept telling her I want to go somewhere else, sit somewhere else. She was begging me to stay at the lame bar, lame table setup, etc... I threatened to leave her at one point, but I couldn't actually bring myself to leave the bar without her. I need to be more assertive I guess.

(06-12-2009 01:29 PM)Trotter Wrote:  I surely hope you capture that photo without her knowing it too because that can be rather creepy.

I told her I was texting (phone camera) she had no clue.


When she said she didn't have any friends, how was that an opening? I figured she was saying that she wants me as a "friend."

I went into this date assuming it would be a game of comfort. I should have been gaming other girls right in front of her..

Thanks Trotter, next time I'm calling the shots.

So what do I do with her now?

Post: #13

What you have to do is take a step back. Sometimes not doing something is more effective than doing something. In this case it is active ignoring. You're goal at this point should be to get her to pursue you, which is by making her work for you. Make her work for your time.

Here is my suggestion for how you should have handled the first date:

Since you arrived early, I would go to the bar you think is good and start talking to the bartender or whoever and developing social proof. Basically at this point you are getting yourself comfortable in the moment, so that when she calls, you can direct her over to your bar. At this point, things are a little different because you are having fun at that bar, and she is part of the fun. This is basically the mindset you want to have early on. She is there for the ride (your ride) and not her ride. Girls like to be led, and this girl does too, you just have to learn to lead a little better.

As for now, I would suggest that you stay on the DL with her, and go about on your own way. When she calls, say you can only talk for a little while, you're a little busy or something. If she asks to see if you wanna hang out, you should (C+F) about how you're not sure, is she willing to have fun? And go from there. Also, as it is important early on, you don't want to be too open with her. She has to work for your time. Even if you have all the time in the world, you have to make her work for your time, because at this point she is at a disadvantage, as she showed by saying that she has no friends etc. Get your life active by doing stuff, and it will work wonders for your game.

Post: #14

(06-12-2009 05:08 PM)kerouac Wrote:  What you have to do is take a step back. Sometimes not doing something is more effective than doing something. In this case it is active ignoring. You're goal at this point should be to get her to pursue you, which is by making her work for you. Make her work for your time.

Here is my suggestion for how you should have handled the first date:

Since you arrived early, I would go to the bar you think is good and start talking to the bartender or whoever and developing social proof. Basically at this point you are getting yourself comfortable in the moment, so that when she calls, you can direct her over to your bar. At this point, things are a little different because you are having fun at that bar, and she is part of the fun. This is basically the mindset you want to have early on. She is there for the ride (your ride) and not her ride. Girls like to be led, and this girl does too, you just have to learn to lead a little better.

As for now, I would suggest that you stay on the DL with her, and go about on your own way. When she calls, say you can only talk for a little while, you're a little busy or something. If she asks to see if you wanna hang out, you should (C+F) about how you're not sure, is she willing to have fun? And go from there. Also, as it is important early on, you don't want to be too open with her. She has to work for your time. Even if you have all the time in the world, you have to make her work for your time, because at this point she is at a disadvantage, as she showed by saying that she has no friends etc. Get your life active by doing stuff, and it will work wonders for your game.

Thanks! I'll keep this in mind.

Post: #15

gotta give busther props for maneuvering out of the ljbf zone

Post: #16

2 much interest has been shown to her.

IGNORE her completely.

Post: #17

(06-12-2009 12:40 PM)busther Wrote:  During our conversation, her female friends (from germany) were constantly calling and texting her. In a fun way, I gave her some shit for it, and she agreed she was being rude.

"Hey, let me see your phone for a second."
*Takes phone, turns it off, puts in pocket*
*she bleats in protest, he smirks*

The seduction community takes the idea of not reacting too far. You have to get your hands dirty and treat her like the child she is.

You value this girl too much. Valuing a girl a lot isn't bad per se, but it corrupts your game, your 'devil may care' flair. And your ability to walk.

If a girl is not complying with what you want, threaten to walk, and then follow up on it.

You must calibrate it - you can't expect a girl you met 30 seconds ago to leave a bar with you. But if your request is appropriate, and she refuses to comply, it probably means she won't fuck you.