Post: #1

I'm a newb and at this point if I am kind of happy if I can open a girl and maintain a long conversation.

I've read that a girl smiling at you ,asking personal questions, or picking up conversation after it dies off means she is interested in you, but have had instances of both where I have asked the girl out at the end and she declined. I've had a girl continue a conversation with me to the point where she was 20 minutes late to her class and ended up not getting her number when I asked.

I am shy, soft spoken, and think that girls may just be nicer to me because of my personality (always told I'm sweet right before they reject me...)

I was at a yoga class yesterday, had like 4 hot girls smile at me multiple times and was like whoa...are these girls all interested or just smiling...since it's yoga class I could only talk to one. I did and pretty much just had a mundane normal conversation and just rambled on since I do not know how to flirt or be too witty unless it just comes out. So we just talked about yoga, then her work, and travel, and she asked me a couple of questions like what I do, and how long I've been coming to yoga etc. Anyways, I find it really easy to strike up conversations with girls at yoga classes, but hard to close since you have the convo before the class, then the class, and at the end its just a huge rush of people trying to get out and you have to have perfect timing and not look like a creep so didn't ask her out but regret it.

I just feel weird always having these normal conversations then asking these girls out (I guess I don't have a high success rate unless I start off direct by complimenting girl) Is smiling/getting asked questions not a great indicator of interest?

Post: #2

Sounds like you are a nice, sweet guy. Girls respond by being nice back to you. They are likely putting you in the "friends zone". You need to balance out your sweetness with a little playful tension. Maybe tease them a little, disagree a little. You are being to nice. I know that might be hard to understand right now. I'm not saying that you should be mean to girls but I'm saying that you should pretend to mean in a playful way. This is the first lesson that all nice guys must learn.

Keep reading the forum. This has been discussed many times.

Post: #3

(10-25-2011 12:17 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  I just feel weird always having these normal conversations then asking these girls out (I guess I don't have a high success rate unless I start off direct by complimenting girl) Is smiling/getting asked questions not a great indicator of interest?

Having a friendly/personal conversation is enough to ask for a phone number. With experience comes actual attraction building / flake minimizing.

Sounds like you were doing fine, just need to start attempting to close.

Post: #4

Whats the difference to you?

If she's interested, try to close her, get a number or get in her pants,

If she's just being nice... try to close her, get a number or get in her pants,

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #5

(10-25-2011 03:45 PM)Chad Daring Wrote:  Whats the difference to you?

If she's interested, try to close her, get a number or get in her pants,

If she's just being nice... try to close her, get a number or get in her pants,

Ha. I love it. Thats what I should have said!

Post: #6

OP how old are you? Are you a virgin? You're likely not coming across like a
chill, sex-worthy guy.

Instead of prancing around in yoga class hit the free weights. It'll up your T levels and give you some swag.

Post: #7

25 yo virgin I am pretty nervous most of the times in conversations and at this point just looking for next thing to say. Need to incorporate flirting but am pretty much a wreck when talking to a girl.

While I like Yoga, a big reason I'm going is because there is nothing but half naked hot girls in the class...

I went through a phase where I would go blank and instead of just ejecting I would ask a girl out, they were all pretty surprised heh. Now its the opposite where I'm getting the convo part down but for some reason having trouble closing...

Post: #8

If the close seems too forced it can get awkward. You have to nonchalantly ask her out as if you're including her in one of the many fun activities you do as a matter of routine in your life as a hip outgoing guy who definitely doesn't have a dual monitor set up in order to watch porn between Warcraft raids. If it's a yoga class you could probably suggest hiking or something outdoorsy.

Of course since it's a yoga class it can be hard to resist the temptation to say: "Wanna meet up after class so you can get a little more practice in spreading your legs?"

Post: #9

You're out there meeting women and having conversations so you're already doing better than a lot of guys out there. Props on that. Yoga can be a good place to meet good women. You can even try out several different yoga places all over town, putting them all on rotation as you meet even more women.

Sure, guys can speculate about her doing X, Y or Z means she is interested.
But it's much more simple (and requires much less psychic powers) to just find out for yourself.

One way to find out if she is interested or not is to ask for her phone number so you can call her up for a short coffee date so you can get to know her better.

If she says no, and you've been a cool, chill guy who made her laugh, you will tell you a lot about her interest level in you. In which case you say, "Cool. I had a fun time talking to you. Bye now." Her telling you no is not a bad thing. It is no reflection on you as a man. Just gives you more time to find a girl who is actually interested in you. Better to find out she isn't into you early on rather than find out only after she's filing for divorce and about to take half of everything you own.

If she says yes, cool. Call her up and ask her on a date.

Some girls say yes. It's all good.
Some girls say no. It's all good.
It's no big deal either way and it is no reflection on your worth as a man.

An emotionally normal girl, who is interested in a guy, will give her phone number out when he asks (oftentimes eagerly). Why wouldn't she give her number out to a guy she wants to see again, hoping and praying that he calls? At least, this has been true in my experience.

Bottom line - ask all women you meet and are interested in seeing again for their phone numbers so you can call and invite her on a date. Don't worry about what you think her opinion is of you. Don't worry about reading her signals, it's unnecessary (once you get enough experience, it becomes pretty obvious anyways). Might be good to make this a rule for yourself so you don't end up missing out on a great girl who might have been really excited to give her number to you.

That's simply my take on it.
I'm sure other guys have other opinions.

Post: #10

I'm walking down the street and open a girl at street corner, start a conversation. She soon starts asking me questions about myself and we walk together, asks me where I'm going, and I just make up I'm going to X street...she says shes going there too, I'm like oh shit, she asks me where on street I'm going, I make up first place that comes to mind, she tells me shes going to another, she needs to get a drink to calm down after work, none of her friends wanted to come out with her, will probably only take one drink to calm her down (in my head I'm thinking try for instadate but dont' pull the trigger...). Not only is she inquiring about me, and giggling at every thing I say, I stop thinking there is a red light when there isn't (she sees that its ok to go, then stops and back tracks and comes back to me), she is about to cross to other side of X street, when she sees I'm not, so she once again walks with me, and I cross at one point and she follows me. Basically all inclinations are this girl is interested in me.

She then gets to the bar she is going to, says it was really nice meeting me, and kind of strange we were going to to the same area. I then said I think she is really cool and ask her if she would like to hang out some time. She then looks like a deer in head lights..."No...uh...No..." (basically mumbles words looking for an excuse to give me)

This was second time I've been pretty surprised a girl said no. I was pretty sure she was dropping hints she wanted to get a drink with me and don't know if it would of went differently if I asked her if she wanted to get a drink with me (I don't drink and not a big fan of bars, so that was the excuse I used in my head not to ask her on insta date which now I wish I did) I was just positive she liked me and thought for sure she would say yes anyways, and would be more comfortable in another setting.

Anyways, after months of doing daygame, I'm in a long slump now in asking girls out (either get the BF line or some form of your sweet but no...) Before the slump though was getting a few numbers but every girl was flaking, pretty much have been on two dates with one girl back in July/August and one date with this crazy 30 something year old who I started up convo for the hell of it who invited me to sit down with her and I did an instadate just for practice.

Can girls just say no due to being nervous? I had a situation myself at a bar where I was watching a game, had girl come over and flirt with me then invited me over to her five friends. I was pretty intimidated, paniced and said something like yeah sure maybe in a little bit and never did which I also regret..

Post: #11

I think you need to get back to the fundamentals. Develop your inner game and just practice summoning confidence in situations you find intimidating. If you feel a backlash from being invited by a girl to chill with her friends, you need to practice and desensitize yourself from "awkward" social situations that actually aren't awkward at all. I spent the summer in bars doing many, many approaches. Now I can walk up to strangers and start a conversation, and can carry the conversation, without feeling weird. Gotta nail the basics, practice makes perfect.

Post: #12

You have to have confidence in yourself, women are animals also, they sense self confidence and will respond to it. Keep eye contact, don't be looking all around while you chat her up, it's picked up as you're not really interested. Keep the conversation rolling, tell stupid jokes and see how she responds, if she laughs you might have a chance and watch body language, fidgity, constantly looking away from you or always looking at her watch or a clock are signs that you most likely won't stick her. You also have to pick up on their hints.

Post: #13

(10-25-2011 12:17 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  ...I just feel weird always having these normal conversations then asking these girls out (I guess I don't have a high success rate unless I start off direct by complimenting girl) Is smiling/getting asked questions not a great indicator of interest?

sexual tension / touch / kiss

that's the fastest way you find out if she's so called yellow light. cause in my personal opinion these girls on the fence are the most confusing.

she's there talking to you feeling good and enjoying your presence but still something about her is off. thing is she's having fun like never before giggling she's validated and wants to maintain this state at all cost but without contributing too much. she's it can even last the whole night when at the end she says that notorious words "nice meeting you". maybe she got lame ass BF. maybe she got some reason to be reserved. who knows. so introducing sexual tension helps to find out if she responds to the man in front of her. touching tells how comfortable she sees him. and kissing of course tells if she's interested in him sexually.

Post: #14

(10-25-2011 12:17 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  I'm a newb and at this point if I am kind of happy if I can open a girl and maintain a long conversation.

I've read that a girl smiling at you ,asking personal questions, or picking up conversation after it dies off means she is interested in you,

There is really only one way to do find out where you stand; touch her, and get in her personal space. Does she flinch, and freak out when you touch and invade her personal space? If she pulls back, or avoids touching/holding your hand, or you touching her lower back...she's just being nice to you, and does not want anything to go further - you are in the friend zone if you keep talking and not touching.

If she allows you to get up-close, and does not pull back when you touch her lower back, neck, back of her arms, legs....she's into you, and welcomes physical escalation.

Mixx

Post: #15

(10-28-2011 06:12 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

(10-25-2011 12:17 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  I'm a newb and at this point if I am kind of happy if I can open a girl and maintain a long conversation.

I've read that a girl smiling at you ,asking personal questions, or picking up conversation after it dies off means she is interested in you,

There is really only one way to do find out where you stand; touch her, and get in her personal space. Does she flinch, and freak out when you touch and invade her personal space? If she pulls back, or avoids touching/holding your hand, or you touching her lower back...she's just being nice to you, and does not want anything to go further - you are in the friend zone if you keep talking and not touching.

If she allows you to get up-close, and does not pull back when you touch her lower back, neck, back of her arms, legs....she's into you, and welcomes physical escalation.

Mixx

You can also use Mixx's line: "You are such a chicken shit you know that? How long before you grow some and kiss me?"