Post: #26

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you need to let this go.

Yes, it's your job to accept that your Dad was a shithead douche, and move on. That's life. Literally so much of us have dealt with this exact problem.

My parents once grounded me for 2 years. I don't think about that at Thanksgiving.

I'd remove your presence from the household until they start treating you with the utmost amount of respect (ie: your dad calling you and asking you to come in a nice tone).

While he may have been able to treat you like shit as a youngster, you're a man now who values your self worth and will not tolerate that behavior as a tenent of basic self respect.

I'd make that clear and then work on letting it go. Try psychotherapy. If anything, do this for your Mom.

Post: #27

It doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing.

You can simply start phoning for, or showing up to, events like a birthday or Mothers' Day.

There is no need for a sitcom style conversation. You don't need to get feelings and resentments out in the open and resolve everything within a 21 minute TV episode that ends with:
"well I've learned something today"
"and I've also learned something today".

Just opening the lines of communication is a positive step. And the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Post: #28

(04-26-2019 04:24 AM)Tigre Wrote:  It doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing.

You can simply start phoning for, or showing up to, events like a birthday or Mothers' Day.

There is no need for a sitcom style conversation. You don't need to get feelings and resentments out in the open and resolve everything within a 21 minute TV episode that ends with:
"well I've learned something today"
"and I've also learned something today".

Just opening the lines of communication is a positive step. And the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

OP needs to get his life in order. He refuses to answer my questions. Still suspect a troll.

Post: #29

What's up with people jumping to conclusions and calling troll as soon as something doesn't fit their agenda? Why the hostility?

I do want to answer your questions but you're attacking me for no reason. I'm not closed to the idea that I might be the one who caused this problem, I have several times said in my posts that I feel bad for my dad and that it's not necessarily his fault. To answer your questions, I'm taking care of my self, I'm financially independent, I'm educating myself. But for the last 2 parts, I'm not working yet as I'm studying and will graduate with a bachelors degree this summer. From then on i will be working and contributing to society.

Spyder, your first post was helpful so thank you for that. I appreciate the comments who are still trying to help.

Post: #30

Stop responding to the Four Yorkshire Men types in this thread and do as I said. Stay out of trouble, stay away from drugs and drinking. Keep a safe distance, but don't sacrifice relationship to the rest of your family. In a year, you will have a clear head. If your father did beat you often, that is child abuse, the end, don't engage in conversation on this topic.

Post: #31

If you are not working, how are you paying for an education?

You can still go to school and contribute to society.

Post: #32

We’ve all learned a lot from this thread, namely: having an abusive father that beats you everyday is not a struggle but, rather, a first world problem. I suspect these are the same folks that demand a son show loyalty oy to the father.

OP — If your story is true, have nothing to do with your father. He is worthless.

Post: #33

Spyder, education is free here.

Nomadbrah, thanks man, i definitely read your advice before and will be taking it. Funny video as well.