Older players (Mid 30s & 40+), Advice for 25yo

Inspired by the other thread and I didn't want to hijack the thread.

I can't be asking advice from my family since they are more traditional and my mom is already pushing me into marriage, which I don't have much interest in until I am maybe 40 for obvious reasons.

Quick info about me:

• Mid 20s, Asian. 5`11. Big body frame.
• Relatively prestigious business school educated. (Think NYU, Vanderbilt)
• 8/10 on looks in high school, but became 7/10 during college and now 6/10, but will start working out again...
• 55k+ job with potential of making 100k depending on my performance, 10k+ of assets, able to save 15k a year - pouring most of them into stocks/real estate/crypto investments
• Late bloomer. 10lays, 30+ make outs, pretty red pilled, but took 1.5 year of MGTOW focusing on my career as I entered the 'real world'.
  - Did some day game last week, possibly thinking about getting into a proper relationship if I do find the high quality girl since never had one long than 6 months and feel like I have matured enough.
  

Quite frankly, I can't complain about my situation, but seeing comments like "I partied too hard." and "I didn't enjoy my early days as much I wanted to." makes me wonder which track I am in that scale.
I am looking forward to relatively balancing health, game as well as wealth in the next few years. Just another millennial lost in this fast-changing society...

What advice do you guys have for me?

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Don't wait until you're 40 until to get married, listen to your mom and people who care about your well being as a person rather than random people on the internet who you'll never meet.

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(04-08-2019 05:59 AM)scotian Wrote:  Don't wait until you're 40 until to get married, listen to your mom and people who care about your well being as a person rather than random people on the internet who you'll never meet.

Fair enough and it can be helpful to listen to people who are actually close to me, but she has had two unsuccessful marriage, so I don't really think she is the right person to listen to as far as relationships/marriages.

Plus, it seems like she just wants me to get married so that she will feel more "complete" and to see grandkids.
Not making me happy, but actually making herself happy.

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I'm not a player but I have learned life lessons the hard way.

-agree with don't leave marriage until later.
I did this and all the status and money I gained later in my mid 30s are now used to offset things I had in my 20's like my youth and physical attractiveness. Money and status are important but they are becoming less valuable as the sexual market keeps getting skewed towards women as their choices keep getting amplified. Your looks can disappear very fast and hard when you least expect it and it is hard to work your way back. The dating market keeps getting harder and harder for everyone and even going overseas is no guarantee of anything.

-education is not the answer.
I wasted a bulk of my life in school to credential myself. Would have been better off just working and failing along the way. Not to mention the debt you accrue is insane these days.

-dont take advice from anyone unless they are extremely successful in an area.

-you have to invest.
It took me 5+ years until I realized that working a 6 figure job doesn't actually change my lifestyle much and all the money I saved didn't change anything for me either. If you want to retire and be financially independent you must take big risks and invest. Cryptocurrency, in my opinion, is our generations equivalent to the real estate asset inflation of the Boomers.

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Married today. (25 years old, 20 year old wife)
First kid one year later (26 years old, 21 year old wife)
Second kid 2 years later (28 years old, 23 year old wife)
Third kid 2 years later (30 years old, 25 year old wife)
10 years later:
40 years old with enough energy to keep up with his:
35 year old wife
14 year old kid
12 year old kid
10 year old kid

10 years later:
50 years old with enough energy to help with the grandchildren of his:
45 year old wife
provided by his
24 year old kid
22 year old kid
20 year old kid

OR

Married ten years from now. (35 years old, 30 year old wife)
First kid one year later (36 years old, 31 year old wife)
Second kid 2 years later (38 years old, 33 year old wife)
Third kid 2 years later (40 years old, 35 year old wife)
10 years later:
50 years old and having serious trouble keeping up with his:
45 year old wife
14 year old kid
12 year old kid
10 year old kid

10 years later:
60 years old and not much use to the grandchildren of his:
55 year old wife
provided by his
24 year old kid
22 year old kid
20 year old kid

OR

Married twenty years from now. (45 years old, 35 year old lower quality wife because fertility)
First kid one year later (46 years old, 36 year old wife)
Second kid 2 years later (48 years old, 38 year old wife)
Third kid 2 years later (50 years old, 40 year old wife)
10 years later:
60 years old and incapable of keeping up with his:
45 year old wife
14 year old kid
12 year old kid
10 year old kid

10 years later:
70 years old and a dying burden to the grandchildren of his:
60 year old wife
provided by his
24 year old kid
22 year old kid
20 year old kid

Maths.

It's not just for bitches.

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Did he say he wanted kids? That shouldn’t be the default..

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(04-08-2019 09:43 AM)benopolis Wrote:  Did he say he wanted kids? That shouldn’t be the default..

Well, but it should be. Why even get married otherwise?

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(04-08-2019 09:24 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Married today. (25 years old, 20 year old wife)
First kid one year later (26 years old, 21 year old wife)
Second kid 2 years later (28 years old, 23 year old wife)
Third kid 2 years later (30 years old, 25 year old wife)
10 years later:
40 years old with enough energy to keep up with his:
35 year old wife
14 year old kid
12 year old kid
10 year old kid

10 years later:
50 years old with enough energy to help with the grandchildren of his:
45 year old wife
provided by his
24 year old kid
22 year old kid
20 year old kid

OR

Married ten years from now. (35 years old, 30 year old wife)
First kid one year later (36 years old, 31 year old wife)
Second kid 2 years later (38 years old, 33 year old wife)
Third kid 2 years later (40 years old, 35 year old wife)
10 years later:
50 years old and having serious trouble keeping up with his:
45 year old wife
14 year old kid
12 year old kid
10 year old kid

10 years later:
[b]60 years old and not much use to the grandchildren of his:[/b]
55 year old wife
provided by his
24 year old kid
22 year old kid
20 year old kid

OR

Married twenty years from now. (45 years old, 35 year old lower quality wife because fertility)
First kid one year later (46 years old, 36 year old wife)
Second kid 2 years later (48 years old, 38 year old wife)
Third kid 2 years later (50 years old, 40 year old wife)
10 years later:
60 years old and incapable of keeping up with his:
45 year old wife
14 year old kid
12 year old kid
10 year old kid

10 years later:
[b]70 years old and a dying burden to the grandchildren of his:[/b]
60 year old wife
provided by his
24 year old kid
22 year old kid
20 year old kid

Maths.

It's not just for bitches.

While I agree with your overall theme, the bolded parts are not in touch with reality for people that have taken reasonable care of themselves. If you are "70 years old and a dying burden" then you have made poor health choices.

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(04-08-2019 04:49 AM)bgbusiness Wrote:  Inspired by the other thread and I didn't want to hijack the thread.

I can't be asking advice from my family since they are more traditional and my mom is already pushing me into marriage, which I don't have much interest in until I am maybe 40 for obvious reasons.

Quick info about me:

• Mid 20s, Asian. 5`11. Big body frame.
• Relatively prestigious business school educated. (Think NYU, Vanderbilt)
• 8/10 on looks in high school, but became 7/10 during college and now 6/10, but will start working out again...
• 55k+ job with potential of making 100k depending on my performance, 10k+ of assets, able to save 15k a year - pouring most of them into stocks/real estate/crypto investments
• Late bloomer. 10lays, 30+ make outs, pretty red pilled, but took 1.5 year of MGTOW focusing on my career as I entered the 'real world'.
  - Did some day game last week, possibly thinking about getting into a proper relationship if I do find the high quality girl since never had one long than 6 months and feel like I have matured enough.
  

Quite frankly, I can't complain about my situation, but seeing comments like "I partied too hard." and "I didn't enjoy my early days as much I wanted to." makes me wonder which track I am in that scale.
I am looking forward to relatively balancing health, game as well as wealth in the next few years. Just another millennial lost in this fast-changing society...

What advice do you guys have for me?

I would look into increasing your income, 55k for mid 20s with a prestigious degree is low. Dont be afraid of change, i.e. look at making a job change within your field, thats the only way you can get a nice 20-30% pay raise. Dont settle for the 2-10% raises youll get if you stay put.

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I'm early 30s and getting married this year, and already regret waiting this long.

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Things I wish I had done when I was younger:

Spend more time with my family before they get too old.

Hit the gym and take care of my body.

Save money early and build good credit.

Spend less time harping over women and relationships that went nowhere.

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(04-08-2019 03:33 PM)christpuncher Wrote:  I'm early 30s and getting married this year, and already regret waiting this long.

Wow, could you elaborate this to me?

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1st advice - don’t be stats obsessed and comparing yourself to others. I swear just about every Asian player is constantly keeping track of his and everyone around hims results.

2nd advice - your mom knows best. Their way has an endgame. Ours doesn’t.

I don’t wish to be married now but I wish to be the kind of guy who wishes to be married, if that makes sense.

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(04-08-2019 06:10 PM)Beirut Wrote:  I don’t wish to be married now but I wish to be the kind of guy who wishes to be married, if that makes sense.

I'm guessing you wish not to be jaded. Loneliness will always win out. Nothing beats somebody taking care and worrying about you.

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Leonard's advice doesn't really make sense, especially the first part:

"Married today. (25 years old, 20 year old wife)
First kid one year later (26 years old, 21 year old wife)
Second kid 2 years later (28 years old, 23 year old wife)
Third kid 2 years later (30 years old, 25 year old wife)
10 years later:
40 years old with enough energy to keep up with his:
35 year old wife
14 year old kid
12 year old kid
10 year old kid"

There are very few of us (only military officers come to mind) who could provide a comfortable life for 3 kids by the time we are 30 assuming that the wife does not work (even if the wife works one can assume that almost all her salary will go towards raising 3 toddlers via daycare or nanny).
So most of the forum members here should not consider the first choice at all else they may have regrets down the line and even a mid-life crisis (see Tiger Woods). Also, IMHO your 20s are the most productive years of your life to advance your career and date. Being hitched that young will kill your drive. Kids should be saved till one is in their 30s, has an established career and has played the field already.

My 2 cents.

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There is nothing special or particular about your situation. This is a dupe thread.

Advice for you: Stop being lazy and learn how to use the search function. Drop the ego. This took me 5 seconds to find:

/thread-39942.html (As I approach 30 things I wish I knew when I was 20)

/thread-24393.html (The 20 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make In Your 20s)

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OP, here's another thread from a few months ago that may be relevant for you:

/thread-71275.html

Some things to consider in addition to what has been discussed in these threads:

- How well have your parents and grandparents aged? Do you have a history of longevity in your family? That could be a predictor of how well you will age.

- You have the benefits of extended family, being Asian. They can help you raise kids. However, you should evaluate their sufficiency as life mentors. Despite all the manosphere talk of Asians being redpilled, Asian parents have tons of blue pill blind spots. One goal you should focus on before settling down is gaining a better understanding of how the world really works to compensate for what they are unable to teach you, and that goes beyond game and women. Make sure you have enough wisdom about the world to be able to teach your sons well.

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(04-08-2019 09:46 PM)TripleG Wrote:  Leonard's advice doesn't really make sense, especially the first part:

"Married today. (25 years old, 20 year old wife)
First kid one year later (26 years old, 21 year old wife)
Second kid 2 years later (28 years old, 23 year old wife)
Third kid 2 years later (30 years old, 25 year old wife)
10 years later:
40 years old with enough energy to keep up with his:
35 year old wife
14 year old kid
12 year old kid
10 year old kid"

There are very few of us (only military officers come to mind) who could provide a comfortable life for 3 kids by the time we are 30 assuming that the wife does not work (even if the wife works one can assume that almost all her salary will go towards raising 3 toddlers via daycare or nanny).
So most of the forum members here should not consider the first choice at all else they may have regrets down the line and even a mid-life crisis (see Tiger Woods). Also, IMHO your 20s are the most productive years of your life to advance your career and date. Being hitched that young will kill your drive. Kids should be saved till one is in their 30s, has an established career and has played the field already.

My 2 cents.

While I think 25 may be a bit young to start a family these days (I was 26 when I had kid #1 of four kids), the notion that a guy can start having a family at age 40 is just flat out retarded. It's the flip side of the same coin that tells women they can wait into their mid to late 30s to start having kids. Most guys that wait that long will end up getting hitched with some chick in her mid 30s like LDN described and having small kids when you're both that old would be just pure torture. That is, if the bitch can even pump out any kids at that age without fertility treatment.

From a biologic perspective, LDN is also right, men should ideally have kids in their mid 20s and women in their early 20s. It's only because things are FUBAR that everyone, men and women both, feel like they gotta ride on the cock/cunt carousel for years upon years upon years before they mature enough to finally become adults and start having children. I can't tell you how many late 30s, early 40s couples I meet in my business that have waited until then to start a family. With these folks, do you know how many kids they usually end up having to form their "family"? One. One lousy fucking kid is all these selfish douchebag late 30s men and women can handle having. All because they wanted to have fun and "get financially stable" first. If you want to know why the West is fucked, this right here is all you need to know. How in the hell can a married couple just have one kid? To me that is the height of the selfishness of the modern day man and woman.

So because these people couldn't think of starting a family 10 years earlier, the kid they do have has to suffer being an only child. No camaraderie with a sibling, just the parents around. So when these parents get old and sick, not only will their only child be still very young to have to take care of the elderly parents, they also have to bear this burden all alone, since they have no siblings to help them with their parents. When the parents finally do die, then they have no other blood relations other than maybe their own kids. Is it any wonder that our modern era is filled with some of the most selfish, messed up men and women in maybe the history of mankind? Any dude that thinks he's going to wait until his late 30s, early 40s to start a family and do just fine with it is one hell of a delusional fool.

As to the OP, dude you're 25, you're not a little kid anymore, come up with a 10 year plan and execute it. If it involves starting a family (and I think it should because that's what adults do) then I'd say 32-33 is the best age for you to have kid #1. That gives you 7-8 years to figure shit out. Surely that should be more than enough time, no? Please don't tell me you need a full 15 years to figure out where you're going in life.

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not picking on you necessarily OP, but i just never understood why cats feel like they gotta be dropping their physical stats in these kinds of posts.

i mean...does being 5'11 make some kind of difference in the advice you'll get?

ex: "hi, i'm a 6'4 white Adonis with 2% bodyfat, slaying bitches left and right. do you think i should be a computer programmer? help plz." lol

not pickin on you bro, it's just funny. probably just a bit of cognitive dissonance.

figure out what's really important to you, understand that all decisions come with opportunity costs, make peace with it, and move forward. worst thing you can do is waste the next vital years of your life in a state of vacillation.

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(04-08-2019 10:39 PM)BlueMark Wrote:  OP, here's another thread from a few months ago that may be relevant for you:

/thread-71275.html

Some things to consider in addition to what has been discussed in these threads:

- How well have your parents and grandparents aged? Do you have a history of longevity in your family? That could be a predictor of how well you will age.

- You have the benefits of extended family, being Asian. They can help you raise kids. However, you should evaluate their sufficiency as life mentors. Despite all the manosphere talk of Asians being redpilled, Asian parents have tons of blue pill blind spots. One goal you should focus on before settling down is gaining a better understanding of how the world really works to compensate for what they are unable to teach you, and that goes beyond game and women. Make sure you have enough wisdom about the world to be able to teach your sons well.

My parents aged pretty damn well, they eat super healthy and work out relatively often. my dad has a lean six pack as he likes to workout and enjoys golfing as his main hobby...although he is about to be 60.
Should I get more experience in dating like 10 more lays then?

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Quite frankly, I am just asking for some advice, not sure why people are pretty angry about late marriage and issues with dealing kids. It's almost funny.

First, I disagree that I have to marry early. I would rather be financially secure so that I can send my kids to school even if I get married at 40. At least that's what I wanted from my parents instead of struggling to help me paying for school.

In fact, when kids go to college, that's pretty much it, you don't need to spend time with them. Moreover, when kids are entering elementary school, they are going to be in school majority of the time, you are not baby sitting them. When I was growing up, I only wanted to spend couple hours with my family, not play entire basketball game up to 100 points on a full court. I would rather play video/computer games, read books, go out with friends and watch a movie or something.

Second, as long as I take care of my health, my sperm is going to be healthy enough to have kids at 40 .That's when the biological clock start to tick for man. For woman it's 30. Look at Donald Trump, he doing just fine.

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(04-09-2019 12:39 AM)bgbusiness Wrote:  

(04-08-2019 10:39 PM)BlueMark Wrote:  OP, here's another thread from a few months ago that may be relevant for you:

/thread-71275.html

Some things to consider in addition to what has been discussed in these threads:

- How well have your parents and grandparents aged? Do you have a history of longevity in your family? That could be a predictor of how well you will age.

- You have the benefits of extended family, being Asian. They can help you raise kids. However, you should evaluate their sufficiency as life mentors. Despite all the manosphere talk of Asians being redpilled, Asian parents have tons of blue pill blind spots. One goal you should focus on before settling down is gaining a better understanding of how the world really works to compensate for what they are unable to teach you, and that goes beyond game and women. Make sure you have enough wisdom about the world to be able to teach your sons well.

My parents aged pretty damn well, they eat super healthy and work out relatively often. my dad has a lean six pack as he likes to workout and enjoys golfing as his main hobby...although he is about to be 60.
Should I get more experience in dating like 10 more lays then?

You have more lays than me even though you are much younger than me. I can't say whether or not chasing pussy all the time is worth it. Nor am I talking about banging more women for the sake of numbers.

By "learning about how the world works through experience" I mean actively trying to extract lessons from all your experiences, no matter what they are. I got this concept of "reference experiences" as another RVF member (justforfun19713). Your parents can tell you limited things about the range of possible behaviors of women, but that knowledge becomes concrete when you experience firsthand a woman cheat with you or sleep with you the night she meets you.

What I had in mind, though, was how people and society work. How the work world is full of inefficiency and politics. How high achievers don't always get rewarded. Etc. This is something you should learn from your experiences in the world, whether it is in business, law, medicine, science, etc. Most people are either bullshitting or just parroting something. Most people just want something cool, shiny, trendy rather than true and lasting. Most people are lazy and undependable. The type of personalities you find on RVF are not representative of the general population.

Finally, a bit of perspective to help you see beyond racking up notches: I could quit my job and go around gaming women for a year. Maybe I could get 30-50 lays. But the opportunity cost there was all the money I could have made at work. I could have fucked a hot escort every night of the year for less money. The point is not that you should or shouldn't live the player life, but that you should understand the tradeoffs in your decision, and seek to get the most long term value (knowledge and wisdom) out of these experiences. It's much easier to learn those lessons ("take the red pill") when you're younger and less invested in a particular lifestyle.

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(04-09-2019 12:52 AM)bgbusiness Wrote:  Second, as long as I take care of my health, my sperm is going to be healthy enough to have kids at 40 .That's when the biological clock start to tick for man. For woman it's 30. Look at Donald Trump, he doing just fine.

No it doesn't. Read the research. Your sperm quality degrades over time.

Was eyeopening for me.

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(04-09-2019 12:52 AM)bgbusiness Wrote:  ...

Second, as long as I take care of my health, my sperm is going to be healthy enough to have kids at 40 .That's when the biological clock start to tick for man. For woman it's 30. Look at Donald Trump, he doing just fine.

Yeah. Ignore me.

Your physical smv dropped two points in the last 8 years and your income is nothing special but in 45 years you're bound to be a billionaire president married to an Eastern European model.

Trump has become for men what Megan Markle has for women.

Nothing personal, but this Peter Pan nonsense destroys lives. There's not many 40 year old dudes here who are singing the praises of spending 20 years chasing money and sluts.

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^ I don't know Leonard, depends on the person.

If you don't mind being a hedonistic degen with wealth one could easily have a younger trophy wife with a kid, but that's not a great family structure or an upbringing for the kid.

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