Currently single, but wanting to start a family within next 18 months

Shit situation, i know. Short story, I'm forty two, wasted my thirties being a player and passing on the girls i should've thought about deepening things with. Frankly I'm jaded and cynical of wider society and by extension game, and my goal is to meet a suitable girl to marry and start a family with, ideally moving to at least a semi-rural location, and living a life as close to nature as humanly possible.

Quite a task. However i am blessed in that i own a property worth approx 275,000USD, and having been living abroad for nearly a decade, and mobile with my work, could conceivably sell up, and buy a rural property for far less abroad. I am going to focus on this beyond all else in my life, as with time being precious, i have no option to procrastinate anymore. As a European and a recently rekindled Christian, i feel it is a moral and spiritual duty at this point.

Is anyone else is a similar position? Or how do single and childless guys feel about the prospect of never having children?

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I am closing on 50, and almost every day I regret not having children. Maybe it's FOMO, or a mid-life crisis, but I think not. Good luck on your quest.

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At 33 I'm feeling the cynicism and black pill get stronger. Don't want to end up lonely middle aged man with nothing but a passable career as my only volition.

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(04-07-2019 07:03 AM)ChefAllDay Wrote:  I am closing on 50, and almost every day I regret not having children. Maybe it's FOMO, or a mid-life crisis, but I think not.

So long as South East Asia is on the map, you could still be considered in your prime.

Or Africa.

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OP, there are a lot of members in this position. According to a poll, about 33%.

I would look at your situation from another perspective. Given you're from Mexico?, your situation could be far worse. You haven't wasted your thirties. Seems you have your life in order to a much greater extent that most of your countryfolk; you've sampled from the garden of earthly delights like any porn-induced ED soy boy would die for; you've learnt the way of women, of men and yourself.

Now you can see things from a different perspective and in my opinion, start the best most meaningful chapter of your life with a lot of knowledge. The average beta doesn't learn what you have. He'll spend his entire marriage with bad frame and still want to bang anything that takes his fancy, but he doesn't have those opportunities. You'll be the same, but at least know that the grass isn't greener on the player's side of the fence.

You haven't wasted your life. If you can't get decent options through the church in Mexico, there are plenty of places you can go where you will probably be a good catch for 25 year olds, or younger in some cases.

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(04-07-2019 08:24 AM)gework Wrote:  

(04-07-2019 07:03 AM)ChefAllDay Wrote:  I am closing on 50, and almost every day I regret not having children. Maybe it's FOMO, or a mid-life crisis, but I think not.

So long as South East Asia is on the map, you could still be considered in your prime.

Or Africa.

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OP, there are a lot of members in this position. According to a poll, about 33%.

I would look at your situation from another perspective. Given you're from Mexico?, your situation could be far worse. You haven't wasted your thirties. Seems you have your life in order to a much greater extent that most of your countryfolk; you've sampled from the garden of earthly delights like any porn-induced ED soy boy would die for; you've learnt the way of women, of men and yourself.

Now you can see things from a different perspective and in my opinion, start the best most meaningful chapter of your life with a lot of knowledge. The average beta doesn't learn what you have. He'll spend his entire marriage with bad frame and still want to bang anything that takes his fancy, but he doesn't have those opportunities. You'll be the same, but at least know that the grass isn't greener on the player's side of the fence.

You haven't wasted your life. If you can't get decent options through the church in Mexico, there are plenty of places you can go where you will probably be a good catch for 25 year olds, or younger in some cases.

That's a Mexican flag not an Italian - although your advice works either way.

It must suck to be on the fence about kids and then decide you want them, but fortunately the situation can be fixed so its not the end of the world.

I personally have avoided having kids my whole life and am positive I don't want them.

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I'm not mexican, just living here currenly, i think the flags a location thing on here but could be wrong... I don't want to go outside of European descended demographic to be honest. Colour me hate-crime, but i'm just not that into the idea of having mixed kids. Also having lived outside of Europe recently, i can see how superficial connections often are with people from very different cultures (eg latinas, s/e asians etc). My ideal scenario would be a northern euro family, somewhere in northern european countryside. That's what i relate to on an instinctive level. Not judging or besmirching anyone who goes another way, but it's not for me.

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(04-07-2019 07:35 AM)monsquid Wrote:  At 33 I'm feeling the cynicism and black pill get stronger. Don't want to end up lonely middle aged man with nothing but a passable career as my only volition.

I wish i'd have felt that way at 33 tbh. I was being a fucking idiot back then, only intention was hedonism and chasing skirt. Look back on it now, and it was all so shallow and base.

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(04-07-2019 09:56 AM)Elmore Wrote:  I wish i'd have felt that way at 33 tbh. I was being a fucking idiot back then, only intention was hedonism and chasing skirt. Look back on it now, and it was all so shallow and base.

Thanks for the perspective.

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Go to the place in Europe you want to settle and marry a local girl. Much easier than both of you transplanting in that rural location you want. You like blondes, hit Eastern Europe. You like tall dark, hit Serbia.

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Good to subject OP. Im 46 , and in that same situation.

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35 here, checking in. Yep hindsight is always 20/20, but I am not sure if the women who I passed on/passed on me would've been right anyways. My plan is to start going to church again, as I think that's the only way to have a high chance of meeting a trad women who isn't destroyed by feminism and alpha cock. I know almost all churches are cucked, and most women you meet there are still indoctrinated by the same BS... But really this is my only remaining idea anymore.

If it doesn't happen, whatever. I am so blackpilled I have lost all passion and joy for life anyways, so the monotonous routine of eat/sleep/work is all that keeps me alive most days. Punctuated by gym, tv, and my once a week pizza.

Banging sluts and materialism has lost all it's luster to me. It is pursuing a dead end that ultimately destroys you. Like Roosh has said, nothing outside yourself will bring you happiness. I think a wife and kids would not necessarily bring happiness, but it would bring meaning, which I think is what we are all missing.

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(04-07-2019 09:53 AM)Elmore Wrote:  I'm not mexican, just living here currenly, i think the flags a location thing on here but could be wrong... I don't want to go outside of European descended demographic to be honest. Colour me hate-crime, but i'm just not that into the idea of having mixed kids. Also having lived outside of Europe recently, i can see how superficial connections often are with people from very different cultures (eg latinas, s/e asians etc). My ideal scenario would be a northern euro family, somewhere in northern european countryside. That's what i relate to on an instinctive level. Not judging or besmirching anyone who goes another way, but it's not for me.

So we should be seeing your flag change 'pronto'. No excuses right? Your back is to the wall and you have already wasted enough time. Reconsider how this thread can help you when you are not taking the clear steps you already know.

Get your ass back to Europe to find a northern euro woman and stop fucking mixed chichas you don't want to impregnate.

Good luck

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Interesting perspective in this thread. I'm late 20's and I just moved in with a 44 y/o game-aware guy (met him through an RP meet-up of sorts). I'm planning on studying him and his lifestyle to observe if the long-term bachelor/player lifestyle is sustainable.

There are guys who say "I should've locked down that chick and had kids..." and there are guys who say "I'd give anything to be in the single free life again." You really are damned if you do or damned if you don't

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(04-07-2019 06:06 PM)BlastbeatCasanova Wrote:  Interesting perspective in this thread. I'm late 20's and I just moved in with a 44 y/o game-aware guy (met him through an RP meet-up of sorts). I'm planning on studying him and his lifestyle to observe if the long-term bachelor/player lifestyle is sustainable.

There are guys who say "I should've locked down that chick and had kids..." and there are guys who say "I'd give anything to be in the single free life again." You really are damned if you do or damned if you don't

Human nature. Also I think it is some people's calling in life to be single. Fighting what we are meant to be (whether that is single, being a father/mother) will ultimately result in more pain.

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(04-07-2019 06:45 PM)Hypugamy Wrote:  

(04-07-2019 06:06 PM)BlastbeatCasanova Wrote:  Interesting perspective in this thread. I'm late 20's and I just moved in with a 44 y/o game-aware guy (met him through an RP meet-up of sorts). I'm planning on studying him and his lifestyle to observe if the long-term bachelor/player lifestyle is sustainable.

There are guys who say "I should've locked down that chick and had kids..." and there are guys who say "I'd give anything to be in the single free life again." You really are damned if you do or damned if you don't

Human nature. Also I think it is some people's calling in life to be single. Fighting what we are meant to be (whether that is single, being a father/mother) will ultimately result in more pain.

Indeed. And I'm still trying to figure out where I stand on that spectrum myself.

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(04-07-2019 09:53 AM)Elmore Wrote:  I'm not mexican, just living here currenly, i think the flags a location thing on here but could be wrong... I don't want to go outside of European descended demographic to be honest. Colour me hate-crime, but i'm just not that into the idea of having mixed kids. Also having lived outside of Europe recently, i can see how superficial connections often are with people from very different cultures (eg latinas, s/e asians etc). My ideal scenario would be a northern euro family, somewhere in northern european countryside. That's what i relate to on an instinctive level. Not judging or besmirching anyone who goes another way, but it's not for me.

Theres nothing wrong with that. I don't think I would have kids with an Asian woman tbh. I'd make an exception for Latina woman if I ever did decide to have them.

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My kids are the only thing I care about now. Everything else in my life has turned to pure shit anyway.

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There's a lot of negativity on this thread. Try not to get too caught up in the comparison stuff. Just keep your eyes open to possibilities and try to be genuine.

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Very interesting thread.

I'm 37 and been in a relationship with a early thirties EE woman for about a year and a half. She's early thirties and has a 5 year old son. She's a great woman: very pretty, fit, kind, intelligent, good career, great mom, etc. I really enjoy the time we spend together as a family but I'm at a bit of a crossroads.

I would like my own child too to carry on the dynasty and I know she'd make a great mother from seeing how she is with her child now. And she's a really great woman without so many of the common issues these days like BPD, attention-whoring, loose morals, etc etc. I have very deep feelings for her but I'm also not in love and I fantasize about dating (well, fucking) other girls and sex with her has gotten a little boring.

I'm getting older too and in only another 5 or so years I'll be as old as OP. And from my experience and others on this forum and in this thread it's hard to find someone good enough to start a family with. So my crossroads is do I commit or do I continue looking? It's almost like this is a business decision: rationally all the signs say I should. On the other hand, all the propaganda today is "listen to your heart" and you should be in love to marry and start a family. But I think a family should be more a thoughtful decision than an emotional one? Maybe?

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Yes, thought provoking thread indeed..

Looking forward to other members' inputs.

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In a few months I will turn 39 and I'm really starting to come to a unpleasant crossroads about my player lifestyle and what its actually done for me in the grand scheme of things. I'll share some more on this topic later but for now here is a brief story of something that happened last week.

I was out on a second date with a super sexy 19 year old (I smashed on the first date). Shes a cool girl by all accounts really and quite a "firecracker" in the bedroom. However on the second date we were at a restaurant and a small kid a few tables over starts to cry and be a little loud and she looks at me and says "I hate kids, I'm never having kids!" an it was one of the more unattractive things I've experienced in recent memory. It's not really a uncommon theme amongst younger girls these days, its certainly not the first time I've herd it. However for whatever reason this time it really chipped away at my soul. I just smiled and responded "solo gatos?" (only cats) she laughed and said yes.... I'll still see her on occasion but I certainly view her in a totally different light now

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Many women hate kids until they have them, then sometime they still hate other peoples kids but they'll die to protect their own.

Biology is funny like that.

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^^
@Cr33pin

Sometimes girls say that to get some points from a man they like. Knowing men (mostly) just want the sex...

When a girl I’m dating ask me if I want kids, I always say “I might in the future, but not at the moment”. Then I continue with “I prefer to spend my time traveling with, and giving my full attention to a girl I like instead of changing diapers”.

So, if the girl wants children she thinks she can convince me to have it in the future. And if she really doesn’t want it (which is rare) she realizes I have a good point of view (enjoy life). It’s a good way to avoid “surprises” (I forgot to take the pill) when you’re in a relationship.

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(04-08-2019 09:10 AM)joost Wrote:  ^^
@Cr33pin

Sometimes girls say that to get some points from a man they like. Knowing men (mostly) just want the sex...

When a girl I’m dating ask me if I want kids, I always say “I might in the future, but not at the moment”. Then I continue with “I prefer to spend my time traveling with, and giving my full attention to a girl I like instead of changing diapers”.

So, if the girl wants children she thinks she can convince me to have it in the future. And if she really doesn’t want it (which is rare) she realizes I have a good point of view (enjoy life). It’s a good way to avoid “surprises” (I forgot to take the pill) when you’re in a relationship.

Nah, that's rather uncomfortably common among the liberated girls of the Rio de la Plata. There's quite a few girls who buy into Argentine style feminism where they'll be up for all the sex but uninterested in motherhood. They'll be unsanitarily close to their own mother in the Latina fashion, but when it comes to their future... motherhood's work and they don't want to work. They want to imagine they are glamorous socialites or transgressive LGTBBQ artists that happen to only have hetrosex with straight masculine men... Congitive dissonance isn't unique to English speakers.

Last year I met up with a 26 year old blonde waif, whiter than a Georgia peach, English/Spanish bilingual who... revealed she was super into North American junkie culture. Dreamed of moving to California, the Northwest, or Toronto and going full burnout. Naturally she already had her cat, an online gaming addiction, and lived with her mother in a studio apartment where she smoked whatever little weed she could afford. She openly talked about the losers in the US and Australia feeding her attention. Given the low quality crowd she was chasing none had the means to cross the equator. No interest in her part on having children ever.

Of course there's girls in the Chorro culture that speak more Lundfargo than Spanish who do the teen pregnancy thing. They'll pretend the kids away until they can't. All sorts of other girls here too.

Anyways, even if a man's looking to settle into a relationship some time has to be spent in player mode because the pop culture driven insanity spreads and finding relationship girls is harder than finding merely boner worthy girls.

Anyways, in this case little reason not to take what they say at face value, especially when they are expressing disgust because there are children present.

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I’m in similar situation. I’m 38 and recently divorced after my ex-wife said she wouldn’t have a child with me. I’m definitely feeling the pull of producing progeny.

The dating world here in the USA is a dumpster fire. Seriously considering relocating abroad to a country/region where there are more traditional women. Mexico, Eastern Europe, SE Asia.

It’s time to get serious about this. Anyone have any thoughts on which countries to focus on?

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