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Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
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Coffee Offline
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Post: #1
Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
So of the past few girls I've dated, I noticed that a few of them have offered to pay for things on the date (food usually).

And I don't mean for themselves, I mean they've offered to pay for me, sometimes from the get-go.

One girl in particular a few months back was 5 or so minutes late for the date. I didn't think much of it, nor did I even mention it, but she insisted on buying me ice cream from a place near by to "make up for being late".

I've heard different opinions on girls who do this. Some people say it's a red flag because girls who do this expect something from you in return in the future. I've also heard it's a good thing, because it can signify that the girl views you as higher value and is attempting to keep your attention on her enough to hook you in.

I've had a total of three or four girls do this and it's something that has been bugging me lately for some reason.

Any of you have any experiences with something like this? What was the outcome?
03-30-2019 03:22 PM
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luigi Offline
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
For me a red flag is when they expect you to be a walking wallet without any remorse. They will never hear from me again.

A worthy woman will have the decency of at least OFFERING to pay until you insist that you are paying. Or if you are having many dates, at least take turns inviting each other. All my ex's were like that, we didnt even have to discuss it, it felt natural.

To answer your question, i take it as a good thing. What do you mean by "something in return" ?
(This post was last modified: 03-30-2019 03:48 PM by luigi.)
03-30-2019 03:45 PM
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
Some girl bought me dinner recently. I thought it was strange too. We made plans to hang out again and she ended up cancelling on with a bullshit excuse, so I ended up telling her I'm not going to see her again, though I suspect she might have felt the same, though I don't know.

Anyway, just a theory here. We also have another thread showing a lot of men have completely dropped out of the sexual marketplace (28% are sexless) and homosexuality is rising. I sense there is a lot of average women out there trying to figure out how to keep some of the top men around. Since young women make more than men these days, some women might think that maybe if they pay for stuff, a guy might not stray?, but frankly, I have no idea
(This post was last modified: 03-30-2019 03:47 PM by godzilla.)
03-30-2019 03:46 PM
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
(03-30-2019 03:45 PM)luigi Wrote:  For me a red flag is when they expect you to be a walking wallet without any remorse. They will never hear from me again.

A worthy woman will have the decency of at least OFFERING to pay until you insist that you are paying. Or if you are having many dates, at least take turns inviting each other. All my ex's were like that, we didnt even have to discuss it, it felt natural.

To answer your question, i take it as a good thing. What do you mean by "something in return" ?

I was told that some girls will immediately offer to pay as a means to use it for leverage sake for something in the future that they want. Like "I paid for this for you way back then, you should do this for me".

To be fair, I doubt you'd have to many girls trying to guilt their dates for that kind of stuff without showing other red flags.

I just thought it was strange that more girls are offering to pay for things lately from the get-go, even if you tell them you have it covered.

And I'm not talking like steady dates either. I mean, you'll have girls on first dates say "I want to pay for you too" and insist on it at that. It comes off as kind of odd is all.

(03-30-2019 03:46 PM)godzilla Wrote:  Some girl bought me dinner recently. I thought it was strange too. We made plans to hang out again and she ended up cancelling on with a bullshit excuse, so I ended up telling her I'm not going to see her again, though I suspect she might have felt the same, though I don't know.

Anyway, just a theory here. We also have another thread showing a lot of men have completely dropped out of the sexual marketplace (28% are sexless) and homosexuality is rising. I sense there is a lot of average women out there trying to figure out how to keep some of the top men around. Since young women make more than men these days, some women might think that maybe if they pay for stuff, a guy might not stray?, but frankly, I have no idea

I'd argue that it's more than 28%. I've seen guys jump at the chance for sloppy seconds the moment one of them break up with one of their girlfriends. No dignity. I'd never try to fuck or date a girl one of my friends just broke up with. And this shit is really common around people my age (early 20s). I've seen it happen quite a bit. 'Bros before hoes' isn't even a thought for a lot of these guys. The ironic part is none of them want to work on their game, they just all go for scraps. Like, don't they feel awkward about that at the very least?

I don't know if it's just average women who do this though. The last girl to do it to me was a solid 8. And my game isn't exactly anything to brag about either. I stay in good shape, try to keep up my looks and can usually keep a conversation, but there is still a lot of areas I can improve in. I have a theory as well. A lot of guys don't have much of a backbone. And with the amount of soyboys these days, it seems like a lot of girls are willing to at the very least consider any guy that won't let themselves get stepped all over. But even then, it's hard to tell.
03-30-2019 05:33 PM
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MaceTyrell Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
Girls who do it I respect and prefer.

Another Tinder date last night where I paid for everything and did not get the notch, after multiple tinder dates where the girl contributes and I get the notch.

It really isn’t that big of the deal. She’s investing in the interaction.
03-30-2019 07:43 PM
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
Usually just split the bill. Last night I had a date where the girl ended up paying for everything and we ended up going back to hers to fuck. Honestly, she was just a 5 in my book so I wasn't exactly desperate to bang, but my backup plan didn't materialize and the sex turned out be okay anyway.

If the girl explicitly asks me to pay I turn her down every time. Also, generally, if we split and it's uneven I'd typically pick up the larger share of the bill as a nice gesture.

To me, a girl offering to pay for everything doesn't really represent a red flag but might however signal low SMV on her part.
03-30-2019 07:59 PM
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melikey Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
This happened to me a few times lately and i've been pretty confused about it. However one thing I noticed that can just be a issue due to sample size, but there is very obvious pattern on where these girls come from / education etc. I suspect that its due to feminism and equality getting bigger, am I the only one who thought about this?

For example I was in Medellin earlier this year and not a single girl offered to pay, but since I left it happen all the time pretty much.
03-31-2019 09:45 AM
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456 Offline
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
There are a range of answers, but once you know a girl digs you for real, then for some of them it's simply "I spoil myself, so I will spoil my guy".

Often they can't tell you how much they save for retirement each year, but they know they have a fund somewhere some guy handles.
(This post was last modified: 03-31-2019 03:53 PM by 456.)
03-31-2019 03:49 PM
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Tigre Offline
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
(03-30-2019 03:46 PM)godzilla Wrote:  Some girl bought me dinner recently. I thought it was strange too. We made plans to hang out again and she ended up cancelling on with a bullshit excuse, so I ended up telling her I'm not going to see her again, though I suspect she might have felt the same, though I don't know.

That's one possible reason, and matches my experience. If the girl is not feeling it on the date, and planning to ghost and not see you again.

A certain amount of guys go full bitterbitch when they get ghosted, and send angry texts.

Paying for the date is her pre-emptive defense against that. It gives her peace of mind and makes her feel like a better person. Not all girls are like this.
03-31-2019 04:36 PM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
I am happy to pay, as long as the girl is genuinely considering banging me.

Because I'm rich, and because she shaved her vagina for me, paying seems like a small token gesture to tip the odds in my favor.
03-31-2019 08:21 PM
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
One of the perks of 2019 is that women pay there fair share
03-31-2019 09:58 PM
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
Women pay for my shit all the time. From food, to shows to even airfare and hotels. It's not something new either. I remember when I started dating at around 12-13 with girls in my middle school. They'd always pay for my stuff, like going to a movie or whatever.

It's not like my parents didn't give me money to pay, I'd whip out my wallet always but they would say dw baby I got it.

Even nowadays on most dates women will pay for ice cream or pizza or whatever. I can't recall the last time I went on a date with a girl, paid for food and not had her offer to pay for dessert at a different venue.

Maybe it's the kind of people I bang or my socio economic circle.

If a girl doesn't even feint at a genuine attempt at paying for something during the date, even if trivial, and she's not broke or at minimum an 8 I pump and dump.

I consider myself a very high value man and don't believe in paying for women's company. I'm the prize and they know it. I don't owe them shit, especially before the bang so if she doesn't offer to pay for something she believes she has a higher smv and you probably won't get the lay.

If she pays she's interested. If she doesn't it's an uphill battle and I'd rather spend my money on more probable notches.

My 2 cents.

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04-01-2019 01:16 AM
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
Is this one the April Fool entry for the site?
04-01-2019 07:13 AM
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
I never understood why women should pay for dates, especially if I was the one who asked her out, plus it came off as incredibly bitch and beta towards women I've tried to pull that on. Whoever asks the other out is the one paying it. This means I can invest in someone and if they think I'm worthy THEY invest in me as well.

Going Dutch is fine as well.
(This post was last modified: 05-01-2019 03:51 PM by partyfowl.)
05-01-2019 03:38 PM
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
I met a Russian 10 on my last trip Estonia. We went on a date. I paid for all the drinks. Then we got a taxi back to mine. I had no euros on me and asked her to pay taxi. She wouldn't. I paid on card and she seemed to take offence I asked her to pay. She walked off. I watched her for 100m before I called her back to the apartment. She came straight back. Came in. Stayed. Got the bang. Now she's actually visiting me in the UK on May 15th for 4 days. Admittedly I'm driving 100 miles to pick her up but she paid for her tickets no question. I asked her to visit and she was keen. Funny how it can shift, evolve from end-member extremes over such a short timeframe. She's doesn't want to go out when she's here. Just wants spend time with me. Walks. Sightseeing. Doesn't even want to drink. And to look at her you'd think she's an Odesaa Society Girl.
05-01-2019 04:48 PM
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
(05-01-2019 04:48 PM)BroodingSea Wrote:  I met a Russian 10 on my last trip Estonia. We went on a date. I paid for all the drinks. Then we got a taxi back to mine. I had no euros on me and asked her to pay taxi. She wouldn't. I paid on card and she seemed to take offence I asked her to pay. She walked off. I watched her for 100m before I called her back to the apartment. She came straight back. Came in. Stayed. Got the bang. Now she's actually visiting me in the UK on May 15th for 4 days. Admittedly I'm driving 100 miles to pick her up but she paid for her tickets no question. I asked her to visit and she was keen. Funny how it can shift, evolve from end-member extremes over such a short timeframe. She's doesn't want to go out when she's here. Just wants spend time with me. Walks. Sightseeing. Doesn't even want to drink. And to look at her you'd think she's an Odesaa Society Girl.

If she is paying her own ticket to see then maybe is in to you enough....would pay for the ticket to see if she refused ?

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05-01-2019 06:41 PM
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Fuck This Offline
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
If she invited me to join her on an activity she chose I won't be surprised if she pays. Be the kind of man she wants to show off.

I won't invite a woman to do any activity I don't intend to pay for. The exception is a group activity I book and everyone pays their share. My gift in that case is handling the logistics and the up fronting the money. I still have one woman who owes me $50 from one of those, I can stand to let her sweat it. Never know when I might use it as ohhh....leverage...
05-01-2019 06:50 PM
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
If the girl wants to pay for the date, let her. When she is investing in you its a good sign. On the flipside, its okay to buy a girl a drink every now and then. Some guys think under no circumstances can you buy girls drinks b.c it makes you look weak but that's simply not true.
05-01-2019 08:00 PM
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
I've had women leave in angst, paying for themselves on the way out, but I've never had a woman cover my share on an early stage date.

One app sourced date woman faked a headache and left. There was another date set up through an acquaintance who just left with 0 explanation.
(This post was last modified: 05-01-2019 08:05 PM by SW15.)
05-01-2019 08:04 PM
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
I take it as a sign of maturity and don't over analyze it. It hasn't happened a lot but when it does I have no problem letting them pay.


(03-30-2019 03:46 PM)godzilla Wrote:  We also have another thread showing a lot of men have completely dropped out of the sexual marketplace (28% are sexless) and homosexuality is rising. I sense there is a lot of average women out there trying to figure out how to keep some of the top men around. Since young women make more than men these days, some women might think that maybe if they pay for stuff, a guy might not stray?, but frankly, I have no idea


I don't think most women are even vaguely aware that they will be facing increased competition for the top men, nor are they aware that many young men are on the demise financially and sexually.

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05-01-2019 10:05 PM
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SW15 Offline
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
(03-30-2019 03:46 PM)godzilla Wrote:  We also have another thread showing a lot of men have completely dropped out of the sexual marketplace (28% are sexless) and homosexuality is rising. I sense there is a lot of average women out there trying to figure out how to keep some of the top men around. Since young women make more than men these days, some women might think that maybe if they pay for stuff, a guy might not stray?, but frankly, I have no idea

(05-01-2019 10:05 PM)Batman_ Wrote:  I don't think most women are even vaguely aware that they will be facing increased competition for the top men, nor are they aware that many young men are on the demise financially and sexually.

I doubt most women ever even consider the middle to the bottom of the market. Most women believe that they are entitled to the absolute top 10-20% of the market and that the bottom 80-90% can go screw themselves.
05-02-2019 01:41 AM
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kaotic Offline
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
(05-01-2019 08:00 PM)busterrhymes Wrote:  If the girl wants to pay for the date, let her. When she is investing in you its a good sign. On the flipside, its okay to buy a girl a drink every now and then. Some guys think under no circumstances can you buy girls drinks b.c it makes you look weak but that's simply not true.

It's seriously this simple.

If you're so worried about paying just immediately buy the first round and tell her to get the next one.

It always works.

If she wants to pay, let her, tell her thanks and you'll get her the next round or the next date (planting the seed of seeing her again).

Just because a chick buys you a drink or pays for dinner doesn't you've lost your dark alpha triad frame and you game sucks.

Some chicks like you enough to buy you a drink or dinner and because they just WANT to, or to impress you.

Either way, the odds are in YOUR favor at the end of the date.


Now I don't go on dinner dates with initials dates but I don't mind buying the first round to see if it's she's worth hanging around for a second round.

Sometimes dudes overdoes on the redpill and overanalyze every little thing, I should know, I was one of those guys.

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05-02-2019 11:16 AM
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BroodingSea Offline
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
@rishboy yes she paid for her ticket. And no, I wouldn't have bought her one!
05-02-2019 11:18 AM
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BroodingSea Offline
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RE: Girls wanting to pay for you on dates?
Actually yes I may have done. Cheap Ryanair deal for a Russian stunner in my bed. But this time no, she coughed the dough up. No questions asked.
05-02-2019 11:19 AM
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