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she disappeared after great 1st date
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inspecthergadget Offline
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Post: #1
she disappeared after great 1st date
I don't post often. Half the guys I know with great game tell me this one's borderline or crazy, the other half tell me something bad might have happened to her. I don't post here often, but this one really has me stumped guys.

-met her from online
-The text game I was running was strong. She keeps texting me 'i can't wait to meet you'
-She keeps insisting that she'll walk out at the first sign I want sex, etc. because she meets so many assholes in this city
-We meet, have an amazing first date, make out, there's real chemistry, she suggests we meet up over the weekend, 20 mins after the end of the date she texts me 'i knew you'd be everything I thought you were - and I wasn't disappointed'
-up to this point I'm playing laconic game
-I text her the next day and ask her to do something over the weekend
-She agrees to my suggested 2nd date, with exclamation points everywhere, saying she'd been wanting to do that for a while
-On the advice of a buddy, sent a text to confirm; so I texted her 'see you tomorrow' - NO answer
-The date rolls around, Radio Silence!
-Finally, I called her a few hours after we were supposed to meet and simply said I thought we were meeting today what's up? It didn't even ring- went straight to voicemail.

Ok now is the part where I make you laugh: She was one of those really hot 33 year olds, and was sending me pics of her in her bra before the 1st date....

I don't know. tell me the ways I fucked this up. I'm so stumped.
10-10-2011 09:33 PM
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thegmanifesto Offline
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Post: #2
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
"met her from online"

Bad move.

"The text game I was running was strong"

Bad move. There is no such thing as "strong text game".

"She keeps insisting that she'll walk out at the first sign I want sex"

Red Flag.

"20 mins after the end of the date she texts me 'i knew you'd be everything I thought you were - and I wasn't disappointed'"

Semi-Red Flag.

"I text her the next day"

Bad move on two levels.

"with exclamation points everywhere"

Pretty gay, but gets a pass.

"-On the advice of a buddy, sent a text to confirm"

Bad advice.

"so I texted her 'see you tomorrow' "

Bad Move. Lock that sh*t down with Phone Game.

"The date rolls around, Radio Silence!"

Not surprising. See above.

"Finally, I called her a few hours after we were supposed to meet"

Bad move.

"said I thought we were meeting today what's up?"

Bad move.

"It didn't even ring- went straight to voicemail. "

What did you expect?

"33 year olds"

Pseudo-Red Flag.

"was sending me pics of her in her bra before the 1st date...."

Pseudo-Red Flag.

"I don't know. tell me the ways I fucked this up."

It is hard to find anything you did right. See Above.

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"Can't be like the rest", is the most I'll confess.
(This post was last modified: 10-10-2011 09:42 PM by thegmanifesto.)
10-10-2011 09:40 PM
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that guy Offline
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Post: #3
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
Meeting a 33 year old online? Probably a 50% chance she is married.

And you asked her to do something on the weekend for the second date? Bad move. You came off as too needy.
10-10-2011 09:50 PM
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Mace Offline
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Post: #4
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
Been seeing more and more of this lately.

Wonder how much of it has to do with the "mainstreamization" of online dating in recent years? 

If she's got a POF/OKC profile she has a stready stream of suitors knocking at her door. Rest assured there are hundreds of better looking thirsty dudes with more status hitting her up. These guys won't commit but they'll hit it and quit it.

In the past a woman would stick with a guy after a good date because she had no other solid prospects lined up. Now she's more likely to stray.

Men are as faithful as their options. Women are as choosy as their options.

With online dating, an attractive woman's options are seemingly infinite. You have women that are on there for years - she can't a single dude among the lot? She's always on the lookout for the bigger, better deal.

If online dating loses it's stigma and becomes mainstream, it could put the average guy's prospects in serious jeopardy.

What % of single women in their 20s today have online dating profiles?
10-10-2011 10:13 PM
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Dash Global Offline
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Post: #5
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
^^

When I made that fake profile on POF it was STAGGERING the amount of guys hitting up the chick everyday.

So any decent looking women will have a fucking SEA to pick from with online dating. Its absurd. To bad guys dont have it that good..
10-10-2011 10:19 PM
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babelfish669 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
Sorry but these previous posts are irrelevant until you can get some type of feedback from her, positive or negative. I have no real experience with the online thing, but here are some of the *real* reasons why girl's have not responded to me before:

- Got in a car accident
- Lost their pre-paid phone
- Friend smashed their iPhone to pieces
- Phone stolen
- Accidentally deleted my contact information

Some of these were girls I was dating at the time. After each of these events (some happened more than once) I banged the chicks.
10-10-2011 10:25 PM
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DLuzhin Offline
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Post: #7
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
I went out with a girl who exhibited similar behaviors, though she was younger and not quite as excited to hang out. Great first date, radio silence when I suggested another; I found her twitter later, it turned out she had a boyfriend.
10-10-2011 10:43 PM
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Screwston Offline
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Post: #8
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
Sometimes I wish I was my age back in the 90s and early 2000's. Its getting harder for playas out there.
10-10-2011 11:14 PM
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Amour Fou Offline
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Post: #9
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
Just one thing, bear with me on this one:

Do not spend your time trying to figure out crazy bitches. Do not go down that road. No good comes out of it.

Just tag along.

You see, all I know is ball, and good, and...
10-11-2011 12:47 AM
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Tuthmosis Offline
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Post: #10
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
(10-11-2011 12:47 AM)Amour Fou Wrote:  Do not spend your time trying to figure out crazy bitches. Do not go down that road. No good comes out of it.

I pretty much echo this. Seemingly normal, happy bitches turn on a dime for no reason, all the time.

In this case, as G-Man astutely points out, there were some legit red flags (particularly her text 20 minutes later, sending you bra pics right away, and her age), so you shouldn't be that surprised at some sort of instability. I had one turn on me just like 10 days ago. One minute we're raw-dogging in my apartment and she's putting her head on my chest after, and another minute she's fallen off.

These are the strange times we're living in. Take the good with the bad, homie.

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(This post was last modified: 10-11-2011 01:33 AM by Tuthmosis.)
10-11-2011 01:31 AM
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wolf Offline
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Post: #11
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
(10-11-2011 12:47 AM)Amour Fou Wrote:  Just one thing, bear with me on this one:

Do not spend your time trying to figure out crazy bitches. Do not go down that road. No good comes out of it.

Just tag along.

Excellent point.
10-11-2011 01:33 AM
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wolf Offline
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Post: #12
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
(10-11-2011 01:31 AM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  
(10-11-2011 12:47 AM)Amour Fou Wrote:  Do not spend your time trying to figure out crazy bitches. Do not go down that road. No good comes out of it.

I pretty much echo this. Seemingly normal, happy bitches turn on a dime for no reason, all the time.

In this case, as G-Man astutely points out, there were some legit red flags (particularly her text 20 minutes later, sending you bra pics right away, and her age), so you shouldn't be that surprised at some sort of instability. I had one turn on me just like 10 days ago. One minute we're raw-dogging in my apartment and she's putting her head on my chest after, and another minute she's fallen off.

These are the strange times we're living in. Take the good with the bad, homie.



It's a good point but even as Roissy said the crazier the chicks the more the experience you build. I dont want to give up so quickly after all the time I spent getting to where I got today.

[/quote]
(This post was last modified: 10-11-2011 02:09 AM by wolf.)
10-11-2011 02:06 AM
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Tuthmosis Offline
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Post: #13
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
(10-11-2011 02:06 AM)wolf Wrote:  It's a good point but even as Roissy said the crazier the chicks the more the experience you build. I dont want to give up so quickly after all the time I spent getting to where I got today.

Well I, for one, wasn't telling you to give up. It's just that, by default, there's very little you can do at this point without looking like a stalker. Your best--and, frankly, only--bet is to wait 1-2 weeks and send out a nonsequitur text.

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10-11-2011 02:27 AM
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PDX Offline
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Post: #14
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
Some good points in this thread. A couple more (good or not).

- Meeting women on-line means you have to expect and account for a much wider range of odd behavior. Go on 100 dates and you'll experience some pretty fucked up shit. Just the nature of the game.

- I've found that women who display that much enthusiasm that quickly tend to be huge flakes (if not straight-up cock-teases) and/or drama queens. If this doesn't manifest itself immediately, it will soon enough.
10-11-2011 10:36 AM
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Roosh Offline
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Post: #15
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
I think you overestimated the amount of chemistry you had. To me, real chemistry on a first date would result in sex.

You were trying to be laid back but you actually went quite needy on a girl who didn't feel as strongly for you.

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10-11-2011 11:13 AM
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MiXX Offline
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Post: #16
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
LMAO! @Gmanisfesto's responses! Laugh

I still scratch my head every time I hear (or read about) guys trying to get laid with online girls in USA. That shit used to work back when AOL and Myspace were kings of the internet social media.... not today homie Dodgy

Mixx
(This post was last modified: 10-11-2011 12:59 PM by MiXX.)
10-11-2011 12:57 PM
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Giovonny Offline
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Post: #17
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
Who cares!? Move on. Sigmund Freud couldn't figure out half the shit these bitches do. If they are not DTF, goodbye!
10-11-2011 01:40 PM
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Basil Ransom Offline
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Post: #18
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
(10-10-2011 10:13 PM)Mace Wrote:  If online dating loses it's stigma and becomes mainstream, it could put the average guy's prospects in serious jeopardy.

Agree with your post overall, but I'd add something. I think girls compartmentalize their pools of eligible men, so they aren't making perfect comparisons among all the men pursuing them. Meaning, a guy who say, meets her in a bookstore isn't held to the same standard as the guy who meets her in a bar or on a dating site. Environments where men pursue her relentlessly, like a bar and online dating even more so, the men will seem more disposable, regardless of their objective status. There is some overlap - the more exposure she has to men, the higher her standards overall.

The other bad thing about online dating I'm seeing is that even when you do bang some plain chicks, they get uppity pretty quickly. It's like they assume, by virtue of the fact that you called them again after the first bang, that you're in her league.
(This post was last modified: 10-11-2011 01:55 PM by Basil Ransom.)
10-11-2011 01:55 PM
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Scarlet_Terror Offline
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Post: #19
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
Quote:The other bad thing about online dating I'm seeing is that even when you do bang some plain chicks, they get uppity pretty quickly. It's like they assume, by virtue of the fact that you called them again after the first bang, that you're in her league.

This. I've been amazed how delusional women are about their SMV. The standard between fuck and LTR material is HUGE (6 points+ versus 8+). Especially girls online have so many not-great-but-not-horrible men kissing their ass their ego gets way too big. NEVER turn off your game with an online girl. She'll quickly take you for granted even if you're out of her league.
10-11-2011 02:34 PM
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Post: #20
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
First of all, I agree with everyone saying there are numerous red flags and that the bitch is likely crazy. The biggest one is the most obvious: she's hot, 33, and single. The fact that nobody has taken her off the market means there's probably something weird going on with this chick.

However: You can analyze all the specifics of this interaction to death but there's no way of knowing the real reason why it didn't work out. It could be something as innocent as her losing her phone, something you did that specifically fucked it up, something that came up and took her attention away, her changing her mind about you for any of a million different reasons, etc etc. You will never know, and frankly it doesn't matter. The lesson to take away is that nothing is a sure thing, and there is no such thing as having the notch in the bag until your dick is in her pussy. That's why you go for the bang as early as possible, women are fickle and will change their minds at the drop of a hat for any or no reason.
(This post was last modified: 10-11-2011 11:45 PM by gringochileno.)
10-11-2011 11:45 PM
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thefourinone Offline
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Post: #21
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
No point in trying to get into a girls head to figure out her actions. Their brains don't process like ours.

My take on online dating site game:
From my experience, if you want a steady stream of average/slightly above average girls to date and sleep with this is a good and very easy option. For very little "effort" on your part you can extract a lot of play. I think it is easy enough to get first date sex from them too. If you want to land any 8s or higher, then online dating gets ridiculously difficult and real-life pickups is the way to go. In my online dating experience, I think I went out with only one of that caliber. She told me she got 100s of messages daily, and she clicks on maybe the most recent 10 of them, and randomly, mine happened to be near the top and caught her eye. It was easy to land dates and sex with the 5-7s. Of note, all were at least 1 (rather than 0) on the binary (AKA boner) test. The vast majority of girls I met/picked up in real life have been better than those online. One additional thought on online game is that all the girls know you are playing the field hard core...as they are too.
10-12-2011 01:50 AM
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isis Offline
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Post: #22
RE: she disappeared after great 1st date
(10-10-2011 10:19 PM)Dash Global Wrote:  ^^

When I made that fake profile on POF it was STAGGERING the amount of guys hitting up the chick everyday.

So any decent looking women will have a fucking SEA to pick from with online dating. Its absurd. To bad guys dont have it that good..

This is why I don't bother with that bullshit; you are getting cock blocked and you don't know by who and how many, just that you are.
10-14-2011 12:05 AM
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