Post: #26

(08-28-2018 03:56 PM)Professor When Wrote:  Hold on now. I didn't claim to have lived his life or even want the same thing as him. However, I understand with stark clarity knowing exactly what you want and having no idea how to get it.

Contrast that with what I am trying to learn here. I know what I need to do to get laid. That also means that I can identify where I need to improve and understand that I do not have the skill to do so yet.

What exactly do you need to do to get laid?

Do you have:
-Action item list
-Stretch goals
-Short goals
-Strategies
-Books, Forums, Threads, etc
-Mentors

I mean that's a start, I'm curious to know what you've got dialed in and what you need help with, of course, this forum is your biggest source for all the above.

Quote:Here's something I've only ever shared anonymously on the internet. No one that knows me in real life is aware of this. I once attempted suicide. (no, it had nothing to do with women) There was no note, this was not something decided in the heat of the moment. It was not a plea for attention. I woke up the next morning in a pile of vomit and pills, cleaned myself up, and decided to get my shit together.

Despondency. That is what I understand.

You survived, I'm glad, and I'm glad you realized you need to get your shit together.

Quote:I'm sure you are completely right in this. Finding a woman is the next step in my attempts to recreate myself.

Brother let me tell you, finding a woman ISN'T needed in the steps to find yourself. Self love and inner game are the first major steps. A woman in you life is an added bonus and secondary.

Quote:This is disingenuous. Seeing it this way, you could call any gaming attempt that doesn't end in a lay to be the same thing. I enjoyed myself at the time and when I saw that I was no longer getting what I wanted, I bailed. Maybe we have a different definition of orbiter. I apreciate that this comes from a place of advisement, but as least in this capacity I recognize that I do not do this out of obligation.

Okay well let's revist this:

Quote:At the same time, I'm at the tail end of what I would say is a failed experiment in friendship with women. I had just returned to college and was picking up some summer classes when I met the girl. She was cute, a little witty, and seemingly not beholden to the addiction of social media. Obviously, I go for it, get her number and make a move. Turns out she's a lesbian, oh well.

To my surprise, after I stop communicating with her she reaches out to me. She invites me over, introduces me to her girlfriend and their other lesbian roommate. I spend some time chatting with them about bullshit and I realize that I actually enjoyed my time there. I try to pursue this friendship and it is surprisingly fun. I don't supplicate to her, but I do the same kind things I would do for my male friends. I hosted a dinner party, I brought them to the farmers market with me, and we went out to see a movie. All three of the girls were very receptive and warm, I actually enjoyed providing for them and receiving gratitude and reciprocity without any sexual tension.

Initially you had an invested interest in the girly you hit on, turns out she was a lesbian.

Question is why bother? She's a lesbian and not interested in men.

Is it just that you just enjoy human interaction with people in general? Do you have a good group of guy friends you hang out with? or are you more of a lone wolf?

Post: #27

When I date a girl, she ceases to have male friends.

Male acquaintances, sure, somewhat acceptable as long as they're never spending any time together without others around. Male friends, no, absolutely not.

I adhere to the same standards in regards to female friendships when I'm in a relationship.

I think this is a huge part of the reason the divorce rate is so high in America. "Friends." Yeah right.

On a related note, I know a divorce attorney who tells me a large part of her client base comes from women who talk to "friends" on Facebook.

If your girl has males on her Facebook that are not your friends and are single, you're running unnecessary risks. Even if they are your friends, haha. If you're not married, don't have kids, it's whatever, but once you're married/have kids, you need to protect your investment.

Some of you guys don't understand how easy it is for a good looking guy to bang your girl if you're not keeping an eye on her.

I literally had a girl who has a fiance she's dated for about three years now begging me for my sperm a few months ago.

In this case, I didn't even provoke it, came out of the blue, the guy is a nice guy, lost his virginity to her, worships her, while she's pretty hot and had been with several guys before him. I've never slept with her, we had a date a few years back, but then instead of going on a second date with her, I started dating this other girl, and I don't like being duplicitous, so I let her know I was seeing someone and wouldn't be pursuing her anymore. She was cool about it, it actually made her want me/respect me even more. Well 3 years later, after I broke up with that girl, guess who sends me a friend request? The girl who now has a fiance, who she's been dating a while. We chat here and there every so often, and then she hit me with that request. It's not an infertility thing either, she just wants to have my children, but she knows I won't marry her, so she figured she could marry that guy, but still have my kids.

And this girl has a good job, is in her 20's, owns her own condo, and just bought her parents a brand new car and helped them expand their house. Responsible girl in that aspect, but in her own words, "I want good genes, you have good genes, I want your genes."

I actually have the entire conversation saved somewhere, it was a pretty nice ego boost, I kept trying to change the topic, and she wouldn't let it go. She was on a mission.

Girls with male "friends" are shit-testing you. It's a shit-test.

Post: #28

I hope you all don't think I'll be offended by your honesty. If I was that much of a pansy-ass, it would take a lot more than some guys on the internet to fix my shit.

I know I'm not a normal case. But I don't mind looking like an idiot in an anonymous venue. I hope to learn a bit. Worst case scenario is that I am right where I started.

(08-28-2018 04:25 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

Quote:Here's something I've only ever shared anonymously on the internet. No one that knows me in real life is aware of this. I once attempted suicide. (no, it had nothing to do with women) There was no note, this was not something decided in the heat of the moment. It was not a plea for attention. I woke up the next morning in a pile of vomit and pills, cleaned myself up, and decided to get my shit together.

Despondency. That is what I understand.

I don't think you understand your own pathos as well as you think you do, because it absolutely had to do with women.

We're trying to help you, not hurt you, but 28 year old virgins are absolutely NOT normal, and you're not even capable of knowing if it was about women or not until you've known how you felt in a satisfied relationship with one.

Right now, you're an outlier that is under pressures you don't even understand from your isolation. In previous eras, you wouldn't even be here, you would have already died in your attempt to prove yourself worthy to mate. We're a lot more civilized now, and can keep our walking wounded alive longer, but never doubt that you're crippled by something until you've felt what it is to walk.

In a loving relationship you would have felt all the bonds you felt from your lesbian friends, only magnified, and with the addition of being in the middle of that lesbian love sandwich instead of observing it. That's what you're meant to strive for, not to be an orbiter in denial.


On the plus side, you're in the right place to learn to reclaim your manhood. These guys will help you, but the beginning is going to be tough love, and it's going to hurt.,

Maybe it was peripherally women as I lacked any good social support network, but here's the scenario: I had just injured myself and was cripled for over a year. I don't recall why, but the surgeon said that it was inadvisible to operate on the disk. I lost my job and had to leave school. I gained a massive amount of weight. When I tried returning to school they refused my readmittance. I did not have many close friends at the time, they basically stopped communicating with me once I was no longer around. My best choice was moving back in with my parents. I was faced with my own mediocity. As narcissistic as it sounds, I just could not get the idea out of my head that if I couldn't make an impact on the world that there was no point in trying. So, in my self pity I decided to kill myself. I got a second chance to realize what a dumbass I was being.

(08-28-2018 05:38 PM)mr-ed209 Wrote:  No, and it's a large factor in you being a virgin at 28. I used to believe in the same shit. Was greatly inexperienced and was always friends with girls sometimes intentionally and later very much against what I wanted.


Male - Female friendships work as 'acquaintances' or they are fleeting. Putting the 'friendship' thing aside for rather obvious reasons (it's pointless). I think your main problem is not understanding the bigger picture when it comes to relationships. There's a 'burden of performance' for which men are judged and evaluated by society and women. You don't just 'get' companionship by being around women and being nice to them. You have to have better value and status to earn womens 'love' and that love is conditional to you maintaining those qualities in her eyes. On some level everyone knows this; it's why 'nice guys' get ostracised (they provide no value and want love for it) and why male-female friendships are unnatural - because to be friends often is as a result of being equal to one another. Being equal to your guy friends is great, you share the same struggles and you can help each other out etc. Being equal to a woman leads to them resenting you.

This is a sobering reality. I agree logically, I just have not internalized it yet.

(08-28-2018 08:20 PM)kaotic Wrote:  What exactly do you need to do to get laid?

Do you have:
-Action item list
-Stretch goals
-Short goals
-Strategies
-Books, Forums, Threads, etc
-Mentors

I mean that's a start, I'm curious to know what you've got dialed in and what you need help with, of course, this forum is your biggest source for all the above.

My first goal is to get to a weight of 240 lbs. I'm a big guy, so this would put me just above average.

I'm planning on finishing my BSN and heading toward a career as a CRNA.

In the short term I have been approaching women around campus. It's more difficult for me to spend late nights, so I only do night approaches every few weeks. I know this is not nearly enough to see real progress, but it's more than nothing. I go out drinking once a month as a reset to my diet. I have done 16 night approaches so far. I hope to pick this up once I have more free time.

I have read Day Bang, halfway through Bang, I plan on Game next. I have read through all of the Chateu Heartiste blogs on game (this is where I started), as well as Illimitable Man's blog and I'm working on reading through The Rational Man blog.

I have no idea how to go about finding a mentor or anyone to show me this stuff.

Quote:

Quote:This is disingenuous. Seeing it this way, you could call any gaming attempt that doesn't end in a lay to be the same thing. I enjoyed myself at the time and when I saw that I was no longer getting what I wanted, I bailed. Maybe we have a different definition of orbiter. I apreciate that this comes from a place of advisement, but as least in this capacity I recognize that I do not do this out of obligation.

Okay well let's revist this:

Quote:At the same time, I'm at the tail end of what I would say is a failed experiment in friendship with women. I had just returned to college and was picking up some summer classes when I met the girl. She was cute, a little witty, and seemingly not beholden to the addiction of social media. Obviously, I go for it, get her number and make a move. Turns out she's a lesbian, oh well.

To my surprise, after I stop communicating with her she reaches out to me. She invites me over, introduces me to her girlfriend and their other lesbian roommate. I spend some time chatting with them about bullshit and I realize that I actually enjoyed my time there. I try to pursue this friendship and it is surprisingly fun. I don't supplicate to her, but I do the same kind things I would do for my male friends. I hosted a dinner party, I brought them to the farmers market with me, and we went out to see a movie. All three of the girls were very receptive and warm, I actually enjoyed providing for them and receiving gratitude and reciprocity without any sexual tension.

Initially you had an invested interest in the girly you hit on, turns out she was a lesbian.

Question is why bother? She's a lesbian and not interested in men.

Is it just that you just enjoy human interaction with people in general? Do you have a good group of guy friends you hang out with? or are you more of a lone wolf?

I'm a recovering lone wolf. I do have a circle of close friends now, but that is only in the last two years.

The reason I started spending time with her is that she reached out to me after I dropped communication. I got her number, had coffee where I tried to escalate physically and she brought up her girlfriend. I didn't try to initiate anything after that We spent a lot of time together for the months of summer classes, but the last few weeks she had been flakey and blew me off twice, so I stopped bothering with her.

I honestly did enjoy spending time with her, but not enough to beg for her attention. For what it's worth, I never paid for any of their shit. I don't try to buy people's approval.

Post: #29

Yeah platonic friendship's are fantastic, only if you both know you aren't attracted to eachother but connect on something. For me, it was punk rock, the woman I was most afraid of who interviewed me. me at my job for 6 years became my best friend and roommate. We loved rocking out to punk and we didn't give a shit who came or went. So yeah platonic relationships are dope

Post: #30

No. Why? Women make terrible friends. The vast majority have no real friends and exist in this weird ecosystem where they use the fuck out of eachother to climb socially while resenting all of their confidants and letting everyone know when their supposed friend isnt in the room.

Being friends with females is a losing proposition. When she uses you like she does her female friends how the fuck are you supposed to get that same value from her. What connections, resources, or social notoriety will you get for being some "platonic" female friend. Most will just label you (subconsciously not overtly) a beta orbiter chump.

The only time you should be friends with a female is when she is attracted to you, at or above your SMV and you can be strong enough to pass on the ass and have good game so you get a chance at smashing her friends, mining her connections, or using her resources. This sounds cynical because it is and women's nature at large is. Remember that women aren't romantic about their relationships and friendships. They aren't going to die for you, they aren't going to kill for you, and they wont stick by you should things go south. Most men aren't either, but if you ever had a chance with someone showing true loyalty and honor you won't get it from a woman or at least not in the way we traditionally think about those things and I guarantee you won't get it by being a platonic friend. Romance was a male invention to punch above their SMV and for a short window in time for a relatively small amount of people it worked, but those times are long gone. If it works now it's more of a fluke.

Then again I'm particular about the word "friend". Everyone that wouldn't risk exactly what I show them I'm willing to risk for them is an aquantence. Female aquantences? Sure why not.

Post: #31

(08-29-2018 03:44 AM)Boosh Wrote:  Yeah platonic friendship's are fantastic, only if you both know you aren't attracted to eachother but connect on something. For me, it was punk rock, the woman I was most afraid of who interviewed me. me at my job for 6 years became my best friend and roommate. We loved rocking out to punk and we didn't give a shit who came or went. So yeah platonic relationships are dope

There is no more direct way of telling us you are a woman than what you just said.

Post: #32

(08-29-2018 04:11 AM)Eugenics Wrote:  No. Why? Women make terrible friends. The vast majority have no real friends and exist in this weird ecosystem where they use the fuck out of eachother to climb socially while resenting all of their confidants and letting everyone know when their supposed friend isnt in the room.

Yeah I have seen this a fair bit.

The women with "friends" fall into two camps a lot

1. The woman with many male friends. The male friends all want to fuck her but she doesn't reciprocate (beta orbiters / friend zoned guys)

2. The women whose 'friends' are really just acquaintances from school, work or a Sorority they joined in the past.


Technically speaking a lot of women have worse personalities, interests and hobbies than a lot of guys but the pussy pass (#1) and "girl power" (#2) means practically every woman has a vibrant social life. When a woman says she is depressed because she is "alone" she's ignoring the constant party invitations and dozens of people she's hanging out with on a daily basis. When a guy is "alone" then most often it's because he is a real loner in life.

Post: #33

I agree with Eugenics, women make horrible friends even amongst themselves. For every girl that has a concrete group of friends, there are 20 or so that can't keep a friend to save their life. Even worse are the ones with only male friends who they either use to death or get fucked by constantly. Also, it seems some women have this weird fantasy of taking their best friend's man? I've heard of this phenomenon personally 5-7 times in my life.

One of my favorite quotes that brought me to the red pill is "why would I want to understand women, women understand women and hate each other".

Post: #34

Saw the topic of this thread, it read the same like "Would you date chicks with dicks?"

Simply ridiculous.

Post: #35

(08-29-2018 03:44 AM)Boosh Wrote:  Yeah platonic friendship's are fantastic, only if you both know you aren't attracted to eachother but connect on something. For me, it was punk rock, the woman I was most afraid of who interviewed me. me at my job for 6 years became my best friend and roommate. We loved rocking out to punk and we didn't give a shit who came or went. So yeah platonic relationships are dope

Have you come out to your parents yet?

Post: #36

https://youtu.be/rdRo9JsfBZM

Post: #37

I have had several female 'friends'. Those who I wouldn't fuck.

But I am not the one who is dependent of them. I treat them like my sister.
I myself have friendzoned some of them, because I hadn't any sexual interest.

Thus someone can see that women may behave like little male friends. For a complete beginner it's ok.

However, about fulfilling... naaaa. Male friends are way better than female friends. Sooner or later someone gets bored about these female friends. It's like treating with immature guys, self-centered, complainers, etc...

I just take them for drinking on weekends and kind of that...

EDIT: A real friend friend is another story. There I'd say absolutely not, man and women CAN'T be real real friends.
Maybe in marrying but I have never been married so I can't say.

Post: #38

This thread is mad corny.

If y’all weren’t so pressed for sex then you wouldn’t be worried about having a female or two around that you aren’t automatically trying to smash.

I can’t relate to this mentality at all.

OP needs to get some Game obviously but the rest of the posts in here seem like cats can’t connect with a female on any level except sexual which is proly why y’all crash and burn with chicks on the regular.

Post: #39

Maintaining a network of platonic female friends actually has great benefits:

1. it’s not onerous. Maintaining male friendship usually requires doing activities together. Men friends do not typically text or call each other. By contrast a woman is happy if you send a text message from time to time, and absolutely overjoyed if you take her out; she will thus keep her allegiance and affections to you.
2. women are taking over the lower and middle echelons of academic and corporate worlds. They are a very useful part of your professional network, all the more because they do not see you as a rival. They will for instance inform you of office politics or write recommendations for you with enthusiasm
3. You have no competition. Women desperately want men to talk to them. Most men (perhaps with good reason) don’t actually talk to women. If you do, you have no competiton, which means it’s very easy to establish advantageous friendships.
4. You can game them! Even if you don’t plan to bang them, they react positively to your good looks and interesting conversation.
5. They can occasionally make you benefit from their pussy pass
6. They give you validation with respect to other women
7. They don’t mind if you are dominant to them. If you appear dominant, alpha men will often perceive you as a rival and react by fighting or avoiding you. Male bosses will shun you. By contrast, women are happy to defer to you once you have established that you are dominant. A female boss will not resent your dominance. Even feminists are deeply craving for masculine energy and guidance.
8. It is our social responsibility. Women are in the state of nature. They are not civilized. Our social responsibility as men is to civilize the world.

Post: #40

(08-31-2018 06:40 AM)Black Caesar Wrote:  This thread is mad corny.

If y’all weren’t so pressed for sex then you wouldn’t be worried about having a female or two around that you aren’t automatically trying to smash.

I can’t relate to this mentality at all.

OP needs to get some Game obviously but the rest of the posts in here seem like cats can’t connect with a female on any level except sexual which is proly why y’all crash and burn with chicks on the regular.

Corny? Nah, just realistic about expectations and what we want.

Like we've said yeah there's social circle girlfriends, but how many girlfriends do you have that you tell everything to? How many do you hang solo with? Do you lay on her bed and eat haagen daz together? You paint your nails together to?

Pressed for sex? Bruh, you're on a Game forum, what else would you expect guys would want on here?

Secondly, like some of us had said, yeah we got homegirls, but most of them are off limits or we don't see them like that. Its super rare to find a wingwoman that's the ride or die.

So now you smear the whole forum about crashing and burning with chicks?

The fuck outta here with that hate, that negativity ain't helping anyone.


We're trying to explain the differences between men and women and how we interact - these are based on countless life experiences - and you just want to muddy the water and call forum members sex crazed losers? Fuck that shit.

Post: #41

(08-28-2018 10:20 PM)Professor When Wrote:  My first goal is to get to a weight of 240 lbs. I'm a big guy, so this would put me just above average.

Good focus on your diet and exercise, we have whole sub forum dedicated to that and guys that will help guide you, a few forum members helped me out as well.

Quote:I'm planning on finishing my BSN and heading toward a career as a CRNA.

Even better, stay on that grind, a career and a purpose are important, and if it makes you money, even the better.

Quote:In the short term I have been approaching women around campus. It's more difficult for me to spend late nights, so I only do night approaches every few weeks. I know this is not nearly enough to see real progress, but it's more than nothing. I go out drinking once a month as a reset to my diet. I have done 16 night approaches so far. I hope to pick this up once I have more free time.

I have read Day Bang, halfway through Bang, I plan on Game next. I have read through all of the Chateu Heartiste blogs on game (this is where I started), as well as Illimitable Man's blog and I'm working on reading through The Rational Man blog.

Fantastic, this is great that you're approaching, I'm sure you know that you can make your own approach log in the newbie forum and guys will help critique and advise you on your approaches.

The books are great, the forum is even better, but going out and doing the things you read about are even more important.

You're obviously taking initiative!

Quote:I have no idea how to go about finding a mentor or anyone to show me this stuff.

Start with this forum as a big brother mentor, then once you post more and get repped, see if there's fellow RVF brothers that are well repped (and met) that would take you under their wing.

Alot of the mentorship is done online here, through private message, or through encrypted chat apps (which is thriving).

Quote:I'm a recovering lone wolf. I do have a circle of close friends now, but that is only in the last two years.

That's good man, friends are great to have, even better if you're all on the same wavelength, keep those guys around and start building a social circle around them (think of it as social rings)

Quote:The reason I started spending time with her is that she reached out to me after I dropped communication. I got her number, had coffee where I tried to escalate physically and she brought up her girlfriend. I didn't try to initiate anything after that We spent a lot of time together for the months of summer classes, but the last few weeks she had been flakey and blew me off twice, so I stopped bothering with her.

I honestly did enjoy spending time with her, but not enough to beg for her attention. For what it's worth, I never paid for any of their shit. I don't try to buy people's approval.

I'm going to ask this, deep inside of you did you think there was a slight glimmer of hope that'd she'd see you of more than just a friend and then you'd make your move?

I'm not worried about the money or physical part of it, I'm picking your brain about the emotional side of things.

Obviously you know enough to not be disrespected with flakes and getting bailed on, which is good.

Post: #42

(08-31-2018 12:09 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Fantastic, this is great that you're approaching, I'm sure you know that you can make your own approach log in the newbie forum and guys will help critique and advise you on your approaches.

Is there a dedicated thread to approach logs or do I just begin a thread and keep it updated? I noticed the Player Log thread on the main forum, but not one on the newbie forum.

Nevermind, I see the approach thread.

(08-31-2018 12:09 PM)kaotic Wrote:  I'm going to ask this, deep inside of you did you think there was a slight glimmer of hope that'd she'd see you of more than just a friend and then you'd make your move?

I'm not worried about the money or physical part of it, I'm picking your brain about the emotional side of things.

Obviously you know enough to not be disrespected with flakes and getting bailed on, which is good.

Absolutely. But I know the difference between hope and reality. That's why I haven't contacted her in about 3 weeks. Last time we talked she told me something along the lines of "well, I'm only about 80% lesbian. I just need to meet the right guy." That's when I was pretty sure it was done; if I wasn't the right guy 2 months ago, then I'm not the right guy at all.

I haven't talked to her in about 3 weeks and I won't until she contacts me again in some way. She was back home because her summer class ended, so we just chatted a bit on the phone. After this time she missed 2 of my calls and didn't bother to call back even though she said she would. She then flaked on a planned dinner that we were going to have at my place before classes started. She did say that she "wanted to do it later in the semester," but that vagueness has historically been a sign of an impending ghosting.

I really did go into this friendship first once she invited me around. I saw it as an opportunity to establish a new social circle. I'm considering trying to restart communication in about a month and invite her over alone (previous one was an invite to her, her sister, and her friend). I'll attempt to escalate again and if she's not interested I'll politely send her away. My thought is that if she was sincere about friendship, she's be more enthusiastic to see me. So now I've got nothing to lose if I give her the choice of sexual relationship or nothing.


Thanks again for the guidance.

Post: #43

Brother, get your ass over to the Fitness section. I can't help but think this thread wouldn't have even existed if you were focused on moving weight and crushing PRs.

Bail on this girl, she's not adding value to your life. I'm all for giving people second chances, but this girl is giving you no good reason to. She didn't try to reschedule, has missed your calls, and all that jazz. If she contacts you, that's cool. Then invite her over and see what happens. You have no business continuing to bark up that tree. Not only will you have a better chance if the contact was her idea, but you'll also look considerably less needy which will give you the best chance possible to make the outcome you want happen.

See, the people you really should be opening are the knowledgeable folks over in the Fitness section. Once you get your body right, I promise that it'll be a hell of a lot easier to get your game right. I give you a lot of credit, you're straight up with how things are and that bodes really well for your future success. The last thing you need to be considering is how to restart communication with a lesbian chick who ghosted you. Instead, spend that time getting your fitness plan straight. You've got a goal, and you should be working on that. Get down to 240 and without learning an ounce of game you'll already be able to pull better tail.

I look forward to seeing you there!

Post: #44

Kaotic bro chill. I’m just calling it how I see it.

Most of the posts in here are basically some variation of “reee don’t have female friends”

Which to me doesn’t seem too healthy or is otherwise indicative of a messed up mental frame on how folks see females.

Realistically how many guy friends do you have that are “ride or die”? I’ve got like three that I could call on for anything and would catch a body fo me. One is a female.

But I’ve got plenty of other friends that I kick it with and can call up for a good time. A lot of those are female. A lot of girls get friend zoned cause I’m just not about them like that and they are useful for more than just smashing so why bother if I’m not pressed and I’m really not feeling her like that if instead she can roll to the club and invite her fly girl friends out for a good time.

To me that’s just a higher level of Game and using it to get what you want out of life.

Post: #45

You're right, I got amped, I'll chill, I shouldn't have been so hostile towards you. (I just get passionate)

Here's what I think, when you're gaming, and you're new to it, NOT having female friends is helpful because you won't confuse the signals you get, you're solely focused on gaming girls.

Then there's the other tier you graduate to (higher level of gaming as you said) where you can have girls around social circle or friends.

That tier is for the guys who have a good head on their shoulders, have gamed quite a bit, and can rely on their knowledge to sift through who they want to hang with.

I have a very large social circle (complete opposite about 15 years ago) so I'd say I've got quite a few ride or dies, when shit hit the fan they were there for me, friends dying, car taking a shit, a bad break up, etc.

I understand what you're saying, that it's okay to have homegirls and you can have healthy friend ships with them, I get that.

Using girls you pivot for their friends is a great thing to have, I'll never deny that.

I guess I'm a man's man I might be super close to a few girls in my life, but my boys will always know more than they ever will. I suppose I hold a few things back from my closest girl friends - because that would kill my chances with their friends (beyond them knowing I play the field).

Post: #46

Yeah dog I agree.

For a guy like OP, “friend” really means “girl I’m tryna get at but don’t know how”

That’s detrimental to learning Game in general.

But a lot of guys make it past that phase but don’t loose the shit mentality that they learn to not befriend chicks.

Also, a lot of the time it’s actually better for everyone to know what you’re about if you’re a player cause eventually the chicks you’re friends with will just be like “oh that’s just how he is” and start tossing their friends at you if you know you will be chill and give them a good time with minimal drama.

I’m pretty open about my stuff in my circle and it’s landed me a lot of second-hand “she heard about me” strange cause girls want to catch what th hype is about and know I’m not gonna judge her or blow up her life after the fact.

That’s also why it’s chill for girls I’m friends with to let themselves loose around me without fear of it messing with their rep

I would try owning your shit a bit more cause you’d be surprised what you can get away with when you’re unapologetic about your lifestyle and don’t judge others for getting down.

It’s the whole premise behind secret society shit

Post: #47

VERY good point in bringing up secret society.

You're absolutely right about a player acting....well like a player and girls have definitely said "oh that's just Kaotic being Kaotic" or have called me Tinder King, which definitely parlayed into bangs.

I agree in saying yeah you don't need to stay fuck girls, team boys ride or die, once you get on that player status level.

Post: #48

OP

I am in your same boat, female friends offer a different and exciting dynamic than male friends... and emotional support your male buddies won’t be able to match. Some females do tend to be very mature and make great company.

Some of my greatest rejections have been pursuing friendships with girls. You feel like crap when you get ghosted by a girl who you connected well with and made clear you only wanted to be friends. It’s one thing if she doesn’t want your dick. But if she doesent even want tour company... that’s a big blow!!

Expect as many flakes as you would with dating intentions. And rejections that are just as harsh. Also, female friends will feel comfortable discussing any and every detail about sex and their sex lives... so you can really get some great info and it will help your curiosity. If you focus on building an emotional connection, it may turn into dating when you had noe original intention.

Also, it’s OK if sex is a secondary goal... the truth is, women enjoy sex more than guys, and I believe they want it more. And it will se you apart from every other guy who “needs” bangs to live... that indifference will lead to mystery... and you might be surprised to find that they bring up sex just because they are so curious on what your thoughts are about it... since you don’t seem sex obsessed like every other guy.

I am in your same boat, women are very sexual, you will have all of your fantasy’s fulfilled eventually. Don’t sweat it

Post: #49

Having female platonic friends or not, its a hard choice, a choice only for guys with extensive dating experience. But for guys starting using that as a strategy often leads to the same old result, knowing a lot of girls, being friendly with them and... getting friendzoned. They stick around with the same girls ALL the time while the girls themselves use them for favors ALL the time and having them around for validation when they approach the High Status guys. The issue with guys making friends with girls when starting out is that they are usually not confident with making the move with girls out of their social circle given that they now have a DHV social circle that involves girls. There is absolutely nothing to be gained by getting into conversations with female 'friends' about sex and dating when you are not actively trying to game them. The advise they give for your dating life is more often than not rubbish and possibly feminist in nature. Get more quality male friends first, they will have your back, you can engage in hobbies and get to know girls in the process.

Even for the experienced guys, rolling with female acquaintances who you are not attracted to can backfire if she suddenly catches feelings or is jealous of the new girl you are dating. Remember that girls will only realize how they feel about you when there is a risk of losing you to someone else. Things are always unpredictable with girls you are interested in, why make it more unpredictable with more females in your life?

There was this 45yr old woman, I was talking to a while back. She was saying how all the 20yr old guys in the club were after sex. Even talking to females a decade or two older than you is not going to help, they start giving you morality lessons if they happen to harbor resentment or intent on gaming/shit testing you instead.

Post: #50

(08-31-2018 04:15 PM)Black Caesar Wrote:  Yeah dog I agree.

For a guy like OP, “friend” really means “girl I’m tryna get at but don’t know how”

That’s detrimental to learning Game in general.

But a lot of guys make it past that phase but don’t loose the shit mentality that they learn to not befriend chicks.

Come on now, don't paint me into that narrow box. I get a ton of LJBF blow offs, but this is the only time I've actually gone for it. I do have self respect.

Quote:Also, a lot of the time it’s actually better for everyone to know what you’re about if you’re a player cause eventually the chicks you’re friends with will just be like “oh that’s just how he is” and start tossing their friends at you if you know you will be chill and give them a good time with minimal drama.

I’m pretty open about my stuff in my circle and it’s landed me a lot of second-hand “she heard about me” strange cause girls want to catch what th hype is about and know I’m not gonna judge her or blow up her life after the fact.

That’s also why it’s chill for girls I’m friends with to let themselves loose around me without fear of it messing with their rep

I would try owning your shit a bit more cause you’d be surprised what you can get away with when you’re unapologetic about your lifestyle and don’t judge others for getting down.

It’s the whole premise behind secret society shit

That is a good persona to cultivate. Especially given my aversion to loud bars. I figured grabbing a few lesbian friends would be a nice jumping-off point. So how do you go about this? Do you just game the girls and not follow through?

(08-31-2018 12:51 PM)Investment Bro Wrote:  Brother, get your ass over to the Fitness section. I can't help but think this thread wouldn't have even existed if you were focused on moving weight and crushing PRs.

Bail on this girl, she's not adding value to your life. I'm all for giving people second chances, but this girl is giving you no good reason to. She didn't try to reschedule, has missed your calls, and all that jazz. If she contacts you, that's cool. Then invite her over and see what happens. You have no business continuing to bark up that tree. Not only will you have a better chance if the contact was her idea, but you'll also look considerably less needy which will give you the best chance possible to make the outcome you want happen.

See, the people you really should be opening are the knowledgeable folks over in the Fitness section. Once you get your body right, I promise that it'll be a hell of a lot easier to get your game right. I give you a lot of credit, you're straight up with how things are and that bodes really well for your future success. The last thing you need to be considering is how to restart communication with a lesbian chick who ghosted you. Instead, spend that time getting your fitness plan straight. You've got a goal, and you should be working on that. Get down to 240 and without learning an ounce of game you'll already be able to pull better tail.

I look forward to seeing you there!

I'll certainly check it out, but my weight loss endeavor predates my interest in game by about 2 years. I used to powerlift, so I know the basics of workout and fitness. I've got that all under control, it's just going to take time. I'm down 190 lbs in 31 months. 5-6 lbs a month is the best rate if I want my body to adapt (there's a reason that gastric bypass patients just gain back the weight).