(05-16-2018 07:00 PM)destiny Wrote: Ya the problem I think is that I think women will make me happy just because I never really had a gf my whole life. It's tough seeing others being relationships and you being left behind. I've never had the opportunity to experience that so when I met this girl, I guess my mind was fixated on her filling that hole inside of me that is empty.
Destiny you have to understand one thing.
A woman will never fill that hole inside you (no pun intended of course).
YOU need to fill that emptyness with your own self.
Who cares if you'v never really had a girlfriend your whole life.
A woman isn't going to solve any of your own problems, you need to work on yourself.
Who cares if people are in relationships or are married.
What you don't see is what happens behind closed doors, they might be miserable or a shitty situation or not truly as happy as they can be.
Couples love to front about their lives on social media.
Being a player can be a heaven and purgatory - it comes with the territory.
Quote:I realize women are not always the answer to my problems. I look at my father and he looks miserable with my mother. She's always causing problems and they are always arguing and she is always telling him to do this or that. I didn't want to be in that type of relationship which made me hesitant to commit fully to this girl yet until I had met her and we had known each other for a while but then I felt cornered into making a decision. I felt if I didn't do something I would lose her forever, lose my only opportunity to have female companionship. All this time I was focused on women being my main goal but instead I should have had the attitude that I am my main goal and that she is just joining me for the ride because she likes what she sees.
See you had a first hand experience how women can be an issue for a man, and how relationships can suck.
About this girl, bro you have to have ZERO expectations until you meet a woman and get to know her a bit. That's literally how I am with everyone woman I meet.
EXACTLY you're getting it now! She's along for the ride on your journey through life.
Quote:I come from a very dysfunctional Asian family. Both of my younger sisters no longer talk to my parents and I hardly ever do as well because of the lack of emotional support we received when we were raised and even right now. Everything involves manipulation, and guilt trips to get what they want, never a praise, or anything from them. Me and my sisters don't actually even talk because when we do, we argue. Sometimes I wish my family was normal and I came from a loving family so that I wouldn't have all of these inner demons and self-esteem issues inside of me but you can't pick your parents and your just dealt the hand that your given.
Brother, I may not have siblings but I had a parent (one was out of the picture from when I was a child) who guilt tripped me and emotionally black mailed me, we don't talk much, and we when we do it always turns into an argument or a guilt trip.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
You can wish to have a caring normal nuclear family, but that's not the card we were dealt.
We have to deal with that and life, what we focus on is how we make things BETTER for ourselves and our lives.
Quote:This has probably been the hardest thing to conquer. I am really struggling with the self-love department because all my life people have been criticizing me, telling me I'm never good enough, whether that be my parents, close friends, or even women. This has made me a bit obsessive about fixing these problems. In the last 4 years I have become obsessive about self-improvement. I just throw myself out there trying to fix it throwing wild punches in any direction hoping to hit a weakness. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but that's all I know to do.
You don't need anyone else to have self love, that's why it's called SELF love.
Because fuck what everyone else thinks, you love yourself, and if they don't love you or like you fuck them (as long as you aren't a complete dick).
You shouldn't need to validate or qualify yourself to anyone else. You should be surrounding yourself with people who are successful, like minded, and want to better themselves.
STOP throwing wild punches and trying to guess your weaknesses.
BE more organized, bring order to the chaos in your life.
-Start writing down your strengths, what you're successful in.
-Start writing down your weaknesses, and you need to be better at.
-Start realizing whose good to hangout around and whose not.
-Start taking care of your body and mind
-Stay the course if you're financially succesful
You have a wealth of knowledge on this forum, you can write anything you think and feel about yourself and you have a huge group of men who help you sort them out.