Post: #1

I'm socially bold
I can speak with everyone
I have no problem to speak in front of hundreds of people
I am good at making conversations

So my game is good per se.

But if an attractive girl is clearly interested I can convince myself that she isn't interested or that approaching would be a bad idea.

I'm no longer convinced when the girl goes cold or is gone.

I'm basically a pussy who don't realise until it's too late that I should have acted differently.

You can't just say "always go for it" or whatever as all girls shouldn't be approached. I prefer not to spam approach.


Any ideas how not to be intimidated by the fact that the girl shows interest?

Post: #2

This seems like one of those things that'll require a lot of self-reflection.

Perhaps the links below would be of interest to you. They're about "avoidant attachment types"

http://www.businessinsider.com/what-is-a...yle-2018-3
https://www.psychalive.org/anxious-avoidant-attachment/

Post: #3

As long as you're admitting it, at least you're not in denial and willing to work on improving.

Post: #4

You should have posted this in the beginners section of the forum.

The best way to speak to a man and the best way to speak to a woman are not the same. The best way to speak to people in a group setting is not the best way to speak to an individual and vice versa. The way way people will respond to you will be different depending on if you are in public (in view of others) or in private. There are many variables you can tune yourself to to your advantage or neglect to your detriment.

From what you've said it sounds like you have the ability to develop and tune your social skills. But really, the ability to improve is not enough on its own. Go practice! Being outgoing and friendly doesn't suit every situation. Do you know that you shouldn't compliment women on their appearance when meeting them? If you haven't tried giving and withholding compliments, or playing with other variables, how do you know? I mention this not to be an ass, but that you can benefit from seeing your weakness clearly. Sorry, but I think being able to make friends with men is not "good game per se"

For you I think it comes from inexperience.

One will know when he has good social skills when he can read and adapt to any situation, not just one.

And really, if you haven't practiced and approached face to face in person enough times to overcome approach anxiety then you don't have that set of social skills, yet.

Keep at, don't give up. Good luck. We've all been there.

TL;DR
A: I'm a pussy
B: Then don't be.

Post: #5

Keep exposing yourself to these situations until you become accustomed to it. It can like 10 times, 50times... maybe more.

Post: #6

Get out of your own head man. Work on some positive self talk and be a little bit arrogant. You're the prize; you know it, she knows it. Don't give a fuck about individual outcomes that are out of your control.

Think big picture.

Post: #7

What's up with the self deprecating thread title since some weeks ?
Think we're here to cheer you up?
Just be less of a pussy if you want to bang first class bitches, if you can't it mean that you don't really want that pussy juice on your dick

Post: #8

- Gain confidence
- Get self esteem
- Feel entitled to every woman
- Create positive feedback loop (outside of women) -> exercise, be successful, have a strong network
- Be the prize & stop pedestalizing
- Repeat the above when you feel like you are plateauing

Confidence outside women -> Internal confidence with women -> You are more invested of your idea of yourself than others.

Sounds like you are defining your self worth by the women you associate yourself with and your self worth is blocking you from the upper echelon of women.

Post: #9

(04-18-2018 08:47 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  Any ideas how not to be intimidated by the fact that the girl shows interest?

Yes.

Train yourself to not give a fuck either way.

Post: #10

(04-19-2018 03:55 AM)Noir Wrote:  - Gain confidence
- Get self esteem
- Feel entitled to every woman
- Create positive feedback loop (outside of women) -> exercise, be successful, have a strong network
- Be the prize & stop pedestalizing
- Repeat the above when you feel like you are plateauing

Confidence outside women -> Internal confidence with women -> You are more invested of your idea of yourself than others.

Sounds like you are defining your self worth by the women you associate yourself with and your self worth is blocking you from the upper echelon of women.

I think Noir ^hits the nail on the head, OP. Sounds like you're self-sabotaging, could be because internally you don't think you deserve the top tier women. Because humans like consistency, there's some cognitive dissonance when you feel the need to approach top tier, interested girls, so you self-sabotage and don't approach to remain consistent with your core belief: you're not worthy.

If you're consistently refusing to approach the girls you really want, you should definitely do some introspection and find out exactly why you're behaving like this; the answer will help you grow as a man.

Post: #11

Well, of course you're a pussy, you're a Cheetah.

God save us from people who mean well. -storm

Post: #12

^^^^

Haha

Post: #13

(04-18-2018 08:47 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  I'm socially bold
I can speak with everyone
I have no problem to speak in front of hundreds of people
I am good at making conversations

So my game is good per se.

But if an attractive girl is clearly interested I can convince myself that she isn't interested or that approaching would be a bad idea.

I'm no longer convinced when the girl goes cold or is gone.

I'm basically a pussy who don't realise until it's too late that I should have acted differently.

You can't just say "always go for it" or whatever as all girls shouldn't be approached. I prefer not to spam approach.


Any ideas how not to be intimidated by the fact that the girl shows interest?

This is a problem that goes away with practise, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to spam approach random girls to get rid of it, or that that is a good idea.

I don't think you're intimidated because the girl is showing interest. If a 3 shows interest in you, are you intimidated or do you feel in control of that situation? I would imagine you would probably are not intimidated in that situation, so you are probably intimidated because the girl is attractive.

You will become less intimidated by attractive girls if you don't think of them as that attractive. Think of some of their flaws, maybe mental flaws rather than physical.

The other way is to get more experience being around attractive women, but then you will start to think that way naturally anyway, so it's the same thing.

Basically, don't put the pussy on a pedastal.

Another thing is most of the time if a girl is talking to you, smiling and laughing a bit too much at your jokes. You can assume that she is interested.

It's better to assume she is interested when she's not, than to assume she's not interested when she is.

However just because she's interested doesn't mean you stop running game, and you can just start making out with her and then invite her home for sex. Hell no.

You still need sexual tension. This is extremely important, if both people are interested in each other and they both know it, it can kill the tension and then there will be nothing.

So when you have a girl showing you clear signs of interest, don't reciprocate your interest too much! A little is fine, none at all will convince her you're not interested, so somewhere in the middle.

At that point you just have to be cool and still use plausibly deniable excuses to get her to your place.

It's a great position to be in if you know she's interested but she doesn't know if you are interested.

It's like you're playing poker and you know exactly what cards you both have, and as long as you stay cool and don't get too excited so she can read your emotions and figure out what you're thinking, you will easily win.

Post: #14

Look man, you're talking about being a pussy when it comes to approaching only. We all feel that fear sometimes and rationalize our way out of not going for it.

The fear is real, and it's important (you don't want to get bottled from behind for talking to some muppet's hot mrs) plus on a bio level it gets adrenalin pumping giving you quicker response time verbally. If you're going to dive into your head about this shit, at least use that brain power to do a quick evaluation of the situation. What dangers are there, are they real, possible or totally imagined? If none, just make full eye contact and walk straight up. This alone has a lot of power over pussy, because most men are pussies and won't do it. They get all sly and and talk over their shoulder and other indirect tricks... which is perfectly fine but doesn't have the same power, the same risks (blowouts) or the same rewards (insta-wet same night lay)

The straight up eye contact frontal approach will make you less of a pussy even if you're shitting yourself with fear.

p.s. and yes, don't spam this shit. You can really only do it to one person in the one place in the one period of time and you don't need me to explain why. So save it for the one super-stunner of a chick that will give you some social proof (through proximity alone) even if you do get blown out.