Post: #1

Following a dark part of my life, I’m now emerging from the shambles as a single guy once again. However, I now have a son from my previous relationship. He doesn’t live with me but I visit him once per month, in a different state.

I alreay get that a certain % of girls will automatically bounce if they know I have a kid. Short of lying for a long time, there’s nothing I can do about that.

As I begin to assemble a new squad of chicks, when, if at all, should I disclose my son? Have any single fathers on RVF had issues with dating as a dad? Anything I should be aware of?

Post: #2

OP, I've never been in your shoes, but here's my advice (or rather questions) anyway.

Why do you want to mention a son, whom you only see a couple hours a month?
When I opened this thread, I thought he was living with you, so you had to mention him before bringing a girl home.
But in this situation, where's the issue?
Don't mention him, if it makes you more comfortable.
Are you already projecting yourself into a deep and serious relationship with the next girl, when your last one didn't end up well?

I don't think girls will bounce if you mention a kid, you're projecting your perception of failure on other people's minds, don't you think?

Post: #3

Thanks man. I didn’t think I was projecting that, but maybe I was. Your thoughts are to simply never bring it up?

Post: #4

Why are you not using the kid to run game?

Post: #5

(02-06-2018 08:57 PM)Checkmat Wrote:  Thanks man. I didn’t think I was projecting that, but maybe I was. Your thoughts are to simply never bring it up?

I'd say it depends on the female you're trying to bang.

If you think she'd be more attracted to a father figure, bring it up.
But not "Oh and by the way, I'm a father, and I can't see my son because my previous marriage was a failure", thus projecting a looser mindset to her.
If you bring it up, it has to be in a positive light, you must see it as a positive thing when you show something (anything) about you to a girl, projecting a winner mindset.

I know, easier said than done, but that's the fun of it.

Post: #6

I tell girls I’m married with kids on second date.

If I were you I would just not mention it, unless you are asked specifically.

Women just don’t care about your family status. If you’re cute you could be a nazi war criminal and they would still date you.

Post: #7

That kind of revelation can wait for a few months, and only for a serious LTR prospect.

If she gives you static for not telling her sooner, just say "I was protecting my son, you understand don't you?" - she will melt.

Post: #8

Sort of depends on what you want.

If it's an LTR, tell her on the first date. If she's truly fine with you having a kid, then it won't make a difference when you tell her. Trying to wait till she's attracted and comfortable so she will begrudgingly accept that you are a father is a bad idea. You're just creating a problem down the road. It's better to get that shit out of the way.

If she's just a lay, then don't tell her at all.

Post: #9

(02-07-2018 08:43 PM)Steelex Wrote:  Sort of depends on what you want.

If it's an LTR, tell her on the first date. If she's truly fine with you having a kid, then it won't make a difference when you tell her. Trying to wait till she's attracted and comfortable so she will begrudgingly accept that you are a father is a bad idea. You're just creating a problem down the road. It's better to get that shit out of the way.

If she's just a lay, then don't tell her at all.

This is my general approach. It works well. I used to not bring it up for a while. But then again, women love mystery, and acting like detectives, so play with being upfront and the slow reveal, and see what works for you.

I do see a lot more "I dont date men with kids" in Tinder/Bumble profiles these days.

Post: #10

(02-06-2018 08:15 PM)Checkmat Wrote:  Following a dark part of my life, I’m now emerging from the shambles as a single guy once again. However, I now have a son from my previous relationship. He doesn’t live with me but I visit him once per month, in a different state.

I alreay get that a certain % of girls will automatically bounce if they know I have a kid. Short of lying for a long time, there’s nothing I can do about that.

As I begin to assemble a new squad of chicks, when, if at all, should I disclose my son? Have any single fathers on RVF had issues with dating as a dad? Anything I should be aware of?

I'm in the same shoes. I'd typically wait a bit before this type of reveal. Probably at the point that you feel like you might be getting diminishing returns and/or need to know whether or not it's worth it getting any more serious with a chick.

Blake Griffin (NBA player) has a couple kids from a previous marriage, but that didn't stop Kendall Jenner (of the wealthy Kardashian clan) from dating him for a while. They're still dating casually (probably on the downswing) since he just got traded from the LA Clippers to the Detroit Pistons. And of course Hollywood has different standards but....look at it that way too. Blake Griffin doesn't have kids from a previous marriage because he's a deadbeat loser in the hood, but because he's a highly desired alpha male that dominates in a sport. Unfortunately, the previous relationship broke down. It happens.

Post: #11

I'm a hands on dad ,3 kids......

Having one kid is like having a cute dog .You hardly see the kid nor does the kid live with you.This makes you time rich something hands on fathers are not.

Where it falls down is if you have more than one kid,actually care for the kids and pay the mother.All these thing combined with having no money cam make you untouchable..Think single mother.

The one thing that will defuse the kid thing is being rich or well off.Combined with an adventurous spirit travel, partying etc.Nothing drys up vagina more than stale dad frame.

Think about it.Society is all about MILF cougars.The only people interested in DILF image is young gay guys...true.

You have to work up a image of yourself that no one believes you have kids.And then you have to own the fact you have kids when it comes up.One kid is forgivable though.