Post: #1

I have a lot of things in my life that need to be addressed right now and I have been working hard at tackling them. I've actually lost interest in women because I noticed that they don't really do anything to improve my life if I'm idling by and not accomplishing my goals. I've found a vision of my future that I really want to work towards, and it seems like saving the time and energy that is involved in meeting women will allow me to narrow my focus towards this vision.

What are your thoughts on this? It seems to me like many people think you should always be pursuing women in some way or another, but in my estimation it seems like it's worth letting it go if you need to sort yourself out. This isn't to say I am going to purposely avoid talking to them or that I have any sort of bitterness or lack of confidence in myself, rather I genuinely feel like women don't matter right now and will do nothing to improve my situation.

I suppose you could argue that by not going on dates, having sex, doing approaches, etc you might fall off the path completely, but I'm not exactly worried about that. In my experience, women are naturally more drawn to you when you have your shit together and are working towards something you value, which is in contrast to the strategy of trying to rationalize your existence by exclusively trying to get laid as much as possible while ignoring what really matters.

Post: #2

There's something called "monk mode" that's roosh and other forum members have mentioned, that falls under what you've suggested above.

That's totally fine. Your personal well being should be the primary focus, women are secondary.

Post: #3

But of course, constantly focusing on women is not how a man should live. There are also many other interesting or necessary things out there. When you will feel desire to return to the scene, game will be waiting for you.

Post: #4

Taking a break from any type of distraction in order to obtain temporary laser focus on life's pursuits is a fine idea. However, I think you should perform an 100% honest evaluation of how you spend you're time and see if there are other places you can save time and money. Approaching is free, doesn't take long, and is good for your mental health. If it leads to sex or meeting someone you really enjoy spending time with, great.

Things to cut out before approaching:

-Drugs/Alcohol/Vices
-TV/video games/internet
-Staying up too late
-Social Media
-Spending time with mediocre friends or girls who aren't giving you exactly what you want

Just my 2 cents

Post: #5

In lacrosse we utilize an offensive strategy called'lulling the defence to sleep'
( working the ball around before you seize the opportunity and score a goal)





Focus on yourself and wait for the day when the opportunity is better and you'll never fail.If you have the skills to capitalize you'll score big.

Post: #6

Women and happiness are the by products of balance and success.

Post: #7

Do you need a break from women or do you just need to change the type of relationships you have with women?

Like you, I'm focused on achieving my life vision, and I have no desire to spend hours with any woman. I have too much I'm trying to do. But I do want to continue having sex. I don't go to bars, out on dates, or go out approaching women, but I do have a few women that I meet purely for sex, basically fuck buddies. They come over or I go to their place, we have sex, and then I get on with my life.

Maybe fuck buddies aren't right for you, but figure out whatever is right for you and then only continue with the women that meet your needs.

Post: #8

I used to focus on external things to make me feel complete inside. I always felt like there was a vacuum in my soul and in my life. So I filled it w booze, coke, and women. While it was actually a lot of fun for a while, it made my internal struggle even worse. I quit everything and went to work on myself. Started over. Saw a shrink. Volunteered my time to help others. Read cheesy self help books. Prayed and meditated. Earned a solid six figure income. I remember a guy telling me to make my life so fucking awesome that I literally need to make time for a relationship. The paradox is that when I let go of external things to make me happy, I found happiness and success came from the inside. Sounds gay but it's true. My life's really good now and although I'm not in the game as of now (struggling staying in a 10+ year relationship cuz I miss random sluts) I can confidently hold my head up high and feel good about me. That alone makes me more attractive than any wordsmithing or negging or whatever else we do to fuck whores. Make sense? Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk. I've "been there" and came out on top. It sounds like your thinking clearly about this and should go w your gut. The other guys on here are all spot on.

Post: #9

(10-14-2017 10:21 PM)Gorgonzola Wrote:  I remember a guy telling me to make my life so fucking awesome that I literally need to make time for a relationship.

Sounds like A+ advice.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #10

I'd give the opposite advice and say that women always need to be a part of your life as it's pretty much our purpose to fuck and procreate. Also when you're in the game regularly, it can be brutal, and women's reactions will give you some of the harshest feedback on you and your life which will show you what you need to work on and motivate you. Nightlife feels like you're in a competition and that's one of the best sources of motivation. There's always people going on about monk mode in the manosphere, but you can go away and fix whatever thing you think needs fixing, and find you're in exactly the same situation with women as you were before. Best thing is to work on everything simultaneously.

Post: #11

I totally agree . If you are focusing on finding you mission , game forces you to always evolve, which in turn helps you become more driven and discipline in all walks of life

Post: #12

OP, you've got your head on straight. I've take several breaks though took until my 30s before I realized I needed a detox from skirt chasing. Came back clearer and better in every way. And yes, your mission and your inner satisfaction, not your woman or any plate or getting random pussy, needs to be the focus of your life. Listen to your own guidance it's steering you right. You said it yourself you aren't down on dating just isn't the right time for you to focus any attention on it.

Post: #13

YES. I took some time off to work on my career and get my shit handled. Did wonders.

Thinking of getting back into the game soon again.

out 2-5 days a week during college and i stopped shortly after graduating. Now my student loans are paid off and I have $$$ in the bank.

Post: #14

If I felt I absolutely needed to get my shit together I'd spend most of my time doing that and put minimum effort into meetibg women. They are not going anywhere but your time is.

I regret chasing chicks when the overall quality of my life was degrading. I know I may sound like a old sap with zero testosterone now but when I think about the benefits I got.. wasn't worth it. Even good sex with really hot girls. Still not worth it. Just few moments of thrill and lots of time of chasing it the hard way (cold approach).

The way Id do it now would be to focus on actually INTERESTING things to me. Traveling, finding different sources of income and working out. Everything else would be secondary. Including a date with a hottie, going out, meeting up with friends at house party, etc.

I feel the difference now when my life is heading towards good direction. I feel like I'm moving towards something good to me that will last and benefit me long term.

Meeting chicks is different. Cold approach is way less gamey and more rare actually. I just chit chat and flirt but I just screen first and foremost. It is honest and it shows. I really want to get to know whether I want to lose my time with that person. Just like Neil Strauss said.. have better things to do than hanging out with girls.

Post: #15

I've been contemplating this myself lately. I think its a good thing. For me its the long nights out, and late mornings. The long, boozy sleepless nights are harder to recover from, and throw me off my daily routine and daily goals. But the sex is really good, especially with girls 15 years younger. It makes me feel really young, so I guess its a trade off. But lately I am thinking I am a serial monogamist, which I am not sure I really want to be. It would be nice to find one and stick with her for the long term, and maybe I need to reset and go back out to find that.

To me the biggest issue is woman taking up too much of my time, either the nights out, or the constant messaging, which is a giant distraction. Lately I have been focused on daily habits, and hitting 5-10 daily habits every day, to be consistent towards certain goals. Gaming, dating, hooking up, etc, can completely distract from that. I am not as afraid of a break, because I have no anxious desire to constantly chase, out of desperation. The only thing I would be concerned about would be losing my skills, and struggling to get it back.

Post: #16

Yeah man. Monk mode. PM me if you want someone to talk to. We have to get better in the shadows when no one is looking so we can come out better and stronger in due time.

Post: #17

(10-16-2017 08:38 AM)Vaun Wrote:  I've been contemplating this myself lately. I think its a good thing. For me its the long nights out, and late mornings. The long, boozy sleepless nights are harder to recover from, and throw me off my daily routine and daily goals. But the sex is really good, especially with girls 15 years younger. It makes me feel really young, so I guess its a trade off. But lately I am thinking I am a serial monogamist, which I am not sure I really want to be. It would be nice to find one and stick with her for the long term, and maybe I need to reset and go back out to find that.

To me the biggest issue is woman taking up too much of my time, either the nights out, or the constant messaging, which is a giant distraction. Lately I have been focused on daily habits, and hitting 5-10 daily habits every day, to be consistent towards certain goals. Gaming, dating, hooking up, etc, can completely distract from that. I am not as afraid of a break, because I have no anxious desire to constantly chase, out of desperation. The only thing I would be concerned about would be losing my skills, and struggling to get it back.

I hear you man, I struggle with the same thing. The late nights out in particular are a killer. I didn't go out this past weekend which is the first weekend since the beginning of the summer that I hadn't gone out and it felt really good to not wake up with a hangover on a Sunday after a late Sat night out. Mind you when I go out I only have 2-3 drinks tops and I still get hungover. This chick I've been hanging out with loves going out, she gets dressed up hot as hell for me and then wants to fuck my brains out at 4am. Some nights I've gotten home and the sun is starting to rise. A whole ton of fun but man it really takes its toll in every way: physically, financially, emotionally, time wise etc.

Women are massive investments period. They take a lot out of you and they can really cause you to lose focus. Recently, I've run into a financial shit storm that I have to deal with and it's just too much to deal with this shit storm, running a business, looking after my kids and trying to hang with this chick all at the same time. So the chick will need to take a back seat. She was starting to slowly apply pressure to spend more time with me like they all eventually want to, so I had to put some distance between us. I missed her a bit but I also felt better about getting refocused. I'm thinking of doing a whole year of monk mode now to get reset but a year may be a bit long for me to last. I usually focus on myself and my kids first though so on some level I'm always in monk mode and women are more for entertainment purposes only in my life. As you get older, it does get easier to focus less on women but it never completely goes away. I've had a fun first year post divorce with the two chicks I've dated but I need a break. All men should take periodic breaks from women, its a good thing to do.

Post: #18

(10-16-2017 11:27 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  I hear you man, I struggle with the same thing. The late nights out in particular are a killer. I didn't go out this past weekend which is the first weekend since the beginning of the summer that I hadn't gone out and it felt really good to not wake up with a hangover on a Sunday after a late Sat night out. Mind you when I go out I only have 2-3 drinks tops and I still get hungover. This chick I've been hanging out with loves going out, she gets dressed up hot as hell for me and then wants to fuck my brains out at 4am. Some nights I've gotten home and the sun is starting to rise. A whole ton of fun but man it really takes its toll in every way: physically, financially, emotionally, time wise etc.

Fuck that, sounds awful. I would maybe do that once but if it was even a semi regular thing it would not be worth it.

Post: #19

(10-17-2017 09:27 AM)Batman_ Wrote:  

(10-16-2017 11:27 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  I hear you man, I struggle with the same thing. The late nights out in particular are a killer. I didn't go out this past weekend which is the first weekend since the beginning of the summer that I hadn't gone out and it felt really good to not wake up with a hangover on a Sunday after a late Sat night out. Mind you when I go out I only have 2-3 drinks tops and I still get hungover. This chick I've been hanging out with loves going out, she gets dressed up hot as hell for me and then wants to fuck my brains out at 4am. Some nights I've gotten home and the sun is starting to rise. A whole ton of fun but man it really takes its toll in every way: physically, financially, emotionally, time wise etc.

Fuck that, sounds awful. I would maybe do that once but if it was even a semi regular thing it would not be worth it.

Right now thats 2-3x a week, mostly with different women. Thinking of taking a break for the holidays